On My Mind

Becoming a volunteer

2011-04-17T20:37:00.001-07:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 4/4/2007]

When it comes to giving, I think Americans are the best.

People here give their treasures, time, and talents for causes and organizations they believe in.

They give money to the poor and needy. They volunteer their time and talents for charitable and non-profit organizations. Even at death, many families ask donations to be made to charitable and non-profit organizations.

I think this generous giving and volunteer spirit is deeply rooted in the religious beliefs and in the American tradition. It permeates the society and makes America the greatest country in the world.

In my own small circle of life, I can see countless people volunteer regularly. Many parents volunteer every week at my kids’ school. I see people volunteer every week in my church teaching Sunday school. I am deeply thankful for all their efforts and sacrifices.

I have to admit being a giver and volunteer is not natural to me. I didn’t grow up in this kind of tradition and environment. I only showed up in my kids’ classrooms a few times to do a short presentation or to help at a party.

When my daughter asked me: “Mom, can you come with me on our fieldtrip?” and with my usual response, “No, I can’t. I have to go to work,” I felt kind of guilty.

Work and busyness do get in the way of finding time to do things for other people. However, becoming a volunteer and giving back to the community has got on my radar screen. I have started to learn to be a giver and a volunteer.

Last Saturday I volunteered at the Liberty Ridge School Carnival. I couldn’t have done so without the generous help of a friend.

Normally I have to take my kids to a Chinese school in St. Paul on Saturday. But a friend has been giving them rides lately. This frees up my Saturday afternoons. I took this opportunity and for the first time, signed up for volunteer at this annual school carnival on March 24.

I was just one of many who volunteered on the date of carnival to sell tickets, run games and activities, serve refreshments, and to clean up.

The event was a big success, thanks to all the donations and volunteers by the students, parents, teachers and local businesses.

Each classroom had a theme basket composed of items donated by the families in the classroom. Families either donated items or cash to purchase items for the theme basket.

Some local businesses donated products or offered gift certificates for services for the silent auction. There were 170 items listed for raffle and silent auction.

Families donated cakes and treats for the cakewalk and 2 liter bottles of soda for the pop toss game. There were more than enough supplies to last for the three hour long carnival. The amount of donations received and the generosity of our community were incredible.

Approximately two hundreds of people volunteered in so many different ways to make the carnival possible and fun for our children.

Even though I didn’t do much work in comparison to all those parents who spent countless hours and efforts in organizing this annual event, still I felt I was part of the volunteer community and did a very small contribution. This made me feel good.

People who volunteer a lot often say, they get more back than they give. I think this is true.

I remember my first volunteer effort for the library at the used book sale last year. After a couple of hours, I went home not only with a good feeling in my heart, but also with some good books in my hand. I also felt I got more back than I gave of my time and effort.

I love libraries and books. I certainly will volunteer for the book sale again this year.

Just in the last 10 months, I have personally benefited greatly from the volunteer efforts of two individuals from the Woodbury United Methodist Church. Jill Hillyer offered a book study group on creativity and spirituality. Nancy Weingartner taught an introductory Yoga class. They both shared their talents with other people in the community. They served as examples for me. And they made me think how I can volunteer to give back to the community.

What unique talents do I have that I can share with others? Lately I have been thinking about this question. One day I woke up with an idea. With the increased interest in China and learning Chinese, I can help start a China club to give interested people a chance to get together to learn more about China from each others and to share their experiences. So far this is just an idea.

Whatever will happen to the idea, I don’t know. But I know for sure, becoming a volunteer and giving back to the community has already got into my consciousness. And as I become more interested in volunteering, I am also sure I will find more opportunities to do so. Hopefully I will get better as well.

The sorry state of gifted education

2011-03-08T22:37:00.000-08:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 1/24/2007]

Recently I became interested in learning about gifted education. What I have read so far was surprising, partly because I didn’t grow up here and am not familiar with America’s education system. I feel dismayed by what Jan & Bob Davidson called “the sorry state of gifted education.”

According to their book “Genius Denied: How to Stop Wasting Our Brightest Young Minds,” America spends 143 times more on special education than gifted education.

Two reasons cause this situation.

First, America is a country that prides itself on being an equalitarian nation. Our school teaches to the middle. Teachers tend to adapt instruction to the average ability of their classes.

Emphasis is on special education to raise the bar for those on the lower end of the achievement ladder. The fact that gifted children on the higher end of the ladder also have special needs is often ignored.

Second, America has also become an anti-intellectual nation. If you walk into any American high school, the trophies displayed in the hall case are more likely to be related to athletic competitions. We build better stadiums while libraries have to be closed or cut hours.

The result is universities and businesses have shortage of scientists and highly skilled workers. Many of them are now imported from abroad.

I believe every child should receive an appropriate education and be challenged to the extent of his ability. Every child should be taught at his ability and pace. Equality should really mean equal opportunity to learn and to excel according to everyone’s ability.

Two things that have happened this school year are very encouraging to me.

At the School District 833 level, thanks to the great effort of Marcia Dolezal, District’s Gifted & Talented Coordinator for K-6, and the support of School Board, a GT program called Gateway was launched for the school year 2006-07 at the Royal Oaks Elementary School.

Approximately 45 students in grades 3-6 from the top 1 percent of classes throughout the District participate in the program. 3-4 graders are grouped in one classroom and 5-6 graders are grouped in another classroom.

At the Liberty Ridge Elementary School level, we have a new enrichment teacher Tina Van Erp who demonstrates a passion for gifted education. In November 2006 she started a parent community group for parents with gifted children at Liberty Ridge. The purpose of the monthly meeting is to share information and support each other.

I am glad that our District, School Board and schools have recognized the importance of gifted education and are doing something to better serve the special needs of the gifted students.

In comparison to other school districts in Minnesota, our District has really done a good job providing gifted education. In addition to the new Gateway Program, there is the Cluster Classroom Program that exists at all District 833 elementary schools in grades 3-6.

But still more can be done.

A successful gifted program should include a variety of elements.

Ability grouping

The new Gateway program is an example of ability grouping. Highly gifted students are grouped together in the self-contained classes within the school. But only a very small group of students can benefit from it.

Stillwater District provides ability grouping for reading. Students in the same grade are divided into several reading groups according to their levels. Each teacher has a group of students with the same reading level. Can we do something like this in our schools?

Acceleration

What gifted students truly need is the accelerated curriculum, not just a few hours a week of enrichment activities that happens in some schools.

Acceleration includes such practices as early entrance into kindergarten and grade skipping. Students may be accelerated in one discipline or across disciplines.

I wish our District would make it easier for early entrance to kindergarten. If a child demonstrates he is gifted, he should be eligible for early entrance. It should be the school’s responsibility to test and evaluate the child for eligibility for a small fee.

Acceleration allows the gifted students to learn and progress at an appropriate pace and depth which is compatible with their ability. Acceleration allows them to develop advanced skills in reading, math, writing, etc.

If a 1st grader needs 2nd grade work to be adequately challenged, the school should make it happen. As long as the student meets the criteria and passes standards for a certain level, he should be able to move to the next level. He should not have to relearn what he already knows.

Differentiated instruction

It would be nice for the teachers to provide differentiated instruction. But I think it’s hard for one teacher to meet the needs of over 20 students in her class whose abilities and levels are miles apart. For this reason, I personally prefer ability grouping and acceleration.

Early start of gifted education

Many children show their giftedness before they enter kindergarten. The identification process should start as early as possible. Schools should screen students for giftedness and lower the age of identification to include kindergarten. Gifted education shouldn’t begin until 3rd grade, as it is now in our District.

Flexibility

Recognize that tests are not the only mean to identify gifted children. Individual giftedness and certain talents may not be revealed by general intelligence tests. Some children do not exhibit extreme intellectual giftedness on a group intelligence test, but they demonstrate exceptional achievement and superior performance in special areas of their interests and talents.

Schools should have the flexibility to meet all children’s needs.

American’s education should be reformed to offer gifted children an appropriate education. It should challenge the gifted and talented to make the most of their abilities, to provide them the opportunity to develop to their maximum potential. The society should demonstrate through actions that we recognize and reward excellence.

My interest in learning about gifted education comes from my concern for my 1st grade daughter. She said many times: “I hate school. School is very boring, because it is too easy.”

If my daughter brings home math work with 100% correct all the time, it’s not really a good thing. It can mean it’s too easy for her and she is not learning and being challenged.

Both my daughter’s teacher and her school are doing their best to help meeting her needs. I hope our District and schools in general can do more for students like her. We don’t want to see smart students become underachievers.

The gifted students deserve a meaningful, challenging and rewarding school learning experience just as the special needs children. They deserve the same kind of support and protection for an appropriate education that special needs children are entitled to.

Until the gifted education can get more attention and support, until every child can be challenged to the extent of his ability, America can’t claim it’s leaving no child behind.

Living the Spirit of Life with Passion

2011-01-30T21:31:00.000-08:00

Anyone who visits Spirit of Life Bible Church in Woodbury and hears Pastor Frank Sander’s messages is most likely impressed by what he/she sees and hears. Pastor Sanders is a man of stature, and more importantly, he is a man of passion.

At least that is how I feel as a former Chinese atheist, now a Christian and a new member of Spirit of Life.

I went to Spirit of Life in September 2004 because the Church was offering an 8 week study on “The 40 Days of Purpose.” I stayed with Spirit of Life because of Pastor Sanders. As a seek of many years, I have visited quite a few churches in my life before I came to Spirit of Life, but no other pastors have ever made a more powerful impression on me than Pastor Sanders.

At 6 feet 3 inches, Pastor Sanders is a tall man. He had a career as a professional hockey player and played hockey for over 20 years. His athletic talent, his passion, and hard work led him to the pinnacle of his dreams as an athlete on the 1972 USA hockey team when it captured the Olympic Silver Medal in Sapporo, Japan. He played one year professionally with the Minnesota Fighting Saints.

Yet the success in his professional life didn’t bring the fulfillment and happiness he was looking for. Even though he reached the mountaintop and experienced great success, he still felt emptiness in his life. What he had achieved was not satisfying. He walked away from the worldly pursuit of success and happiness, and turned his life in a new direction.

At the age of 25, he committed his life to serve the Lord. He went to seminary and became a youth pastor. He worked with young people for almost 20 years and was an associate minister for several years after that.

Then another change happened that brought his faith and passion for Christ to a new level.

In 2001, Sanders and 13 other people started Spirit of Life Bible Church in Woodbury. It was a big step of faith for him and all the members, but their strong faith in God helped them take the risk and face the challenge.

Sander’s teaching and messages are always based on the truth from the Bible. They are practical and challenging. One thing is for sure. People do not feel bored when listening to his messages. His passion and excitement for God will infect, inspire and impress everyone around him.

His passion for Christ shows especially during his Sunday sermons. Psalm 100 says to “Shout for joy to the Lord” and that’s the way Sanders preaches - he literally makes a lot of joyful noises when he preaches. He can be as excited and passionate about Jesus as a sport fan is excited about watching his favorite team winning the Olympics.

A major focus of the church’s activities is the Children's Program that includes the weekly Sunday School classes and fun activities throughout the year: monthly Children's Church services, Cub Scouts, VBS, an annual picnic, Fall Harvest party and Christmas Program.

My two children love to go to Sunday school at Spirit of Life. They love the small class size and the dedicated Sunday school teachers.

In the four plus years since the Church started, God has blessed it tremendously and membership has grown exponentially. The current church facility at Wooddale Drive is getting too small.

With the big population growth in Woodbury, the congregation saw the need for a bigger church facility to accommodate the growth. “There is a hunger for God in this community. We see a big opportunity and a huge responsibility ahead of us.“ Sanders went on to say, “Moving into a new facility is another big step of faith, but we know that God will supply our needs. We are doing this for God’s glory. He will bless us again as He did over the last few years.”

The new church facility at 690 Commerce Drive is near Sam’s Club. First service will take place Sunday, September 3, 10 am. Everyone is welcome. For more information and to request a DVD about SOL, visit www.SpiritOfLifeBibleChurch.org, or call 651-731-1900.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/30/2006]

Is it "Black Friday" or "Buy Nothing Day"?

2010-11-26T18:39:00.000-08:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 12/05/2007]

“Black Friday.” The term doesn’t sound so exciting, but many people are very excited about this special Friday after Thanksgiving that launches the holiday shopping season.

Well, I still remember some of those Fridays in the past. I got up early in the morning around 5 a.m. to go shopping with my mother. I have never been a shopaholic, but I love bargains.

In the midst of the enthusiastic shoppers with carts full of stuff, the excitement carried me away. I also loaded my cart with items that were such good deals that I shouldn’t pass them by.

Today, I still have jewels I bought more than 10 years ago that I haven’t used. I bought them because they were on sale, 75 percent off.

The interesting thing is I don’t wear jewels. Why did I spend over two hundred dollars buying something just because it was a good deal? I can’t figure it out today. I have to say it was not a smart thing to do.

That’s why I didn’t go shopping on Black Friday this year. I slept in and had a very relaxed day at home. No rushing, no pushing, no running around from store to store, just relaxing peacefully at home. But I was not without temptation.

On Thanksgiving morning, the newspaper with the fat advertisement flyers awaited me with warm attractive greetings - door busters, early-bird specials, free coupons, etc.

One store gave away $10. Wow, free money! Who doesn’t like free money? I could buy something without spending money! At least it could cover the gas expense for the shopping trip.

Look at the slow cooker on sale! The old slow cooker I have at home is well over 10 years old. It has aged so much, it’s near kaput. I could really use a newer and bigger one.

How about that pressure cooker? I have always wished I had one pressure cooker. It would save me some time when I do my weekly cooking of dry beans.

Well, there were so many things that I wished I could have. Yes, it would be nice to have things that are better, bigger, more convenient, more powerful and more comfortable. But I also know that I already have what I need. That’s good enough for me. Besides, I didn’t want to do any more stupid things like I did in the past. I have learned my lessons.

I also wanted to support the "Buy Nothing Day."

Buy Nothing Day is an informal day of protest against consumerism, observed by social activists.

The first Buy Nothing Day started in Vancouver in 1992. A decade later, it spread to over 60 countries. In the U.S., Buy Nothing Day is the Friday after Thanksgiving, or Black Friday, the busiest shopping day in the U.S.

I am not trying to elevate myself to a social activist. But I really like the ideology behind the Buy Nothing Day that our society needs to examine the issues of over-consumption, compulsive spending and instant gratification.

Buy Nothing Day is not about changing buying habit for just one day, it’s about changing lifestyle and making lasting commitment to consuming less and producing less waste.

Another interesting initiative originated in California is called Compact. A group of 10 friends made a vow to not buy anything new for a whole year in 2006. The Compactors bought second-hand. They bartered, borrowed, recycled, re-used and re-gifted. Now this group has grown to include an online Compact community around the global. Their story has appeared on media outlets around the world.

I found both initiatives appealing.

Whether the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday or Buy Nothing Day, it’s a personal preference and choice. I chose it to be Buy Nothing Day. I really enjoyed buying nothing and doing nothing. It was a rare and welcome opportunity for me to relax. I used the free time to look through all the photos taken in the year and select some for printing holiday cards.

Now I am looking forward to the next holiday. My Christmas cards are already done!

Make every day Thanksgiving Day

2010-11-24T21:23:00.000-08:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 11/22/2006]

Tomorrow, Americans around the country will be celebrating Thanksgiving Day.

When we think about Thanksgiving, we often think about this once-a-year event with a Thanksgiving feast of stuffed turkey, yams, potatoes, green beans and pumpkin pie. It’s a holiday of family and friends gathering together.

I think Thanksgiving is more than a once-a-year event - it is a way of life.

Thanksgiving is about gratitude. It is about giving thanks to God.

When President Abraham Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November as a national day of Thanksgiving in 1863, he proclaimed it “as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

In 1941, Congress introduced the legislation and established Thanksgiving Day as the fourth Thursday in November.

Thanksgiving is about appreciating the people in our lives and being thankful for what we have received in life.

We have so much in this country and so much good happens to us. Yet in the rush of daily life, we fail to notice and acknowledge it. We often take things for granted.

If we focus our attention on the good and positive, focus on what we have, not what we lack, we can experience a life with contentment and joy. We don’t need to fill our life with material stuff to make us feel good.

One year ago on Thanksgiving Day 2005, I made a conscious decision to start a gratitude journal. I was inspired by the following words Oprah wrote in one of her "O Magazine" articles.

“Keep a grateful journal. Every night, list five things that you are grateful for. What it will begin to do is change your perspective of your day and your life.”

At that time I felt my life was in need of change. I wanted to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, nurture a grateful heart and a spirit of thankfulness. I wanted to bring myself closer to my soul and to God.

I wanted to count God’s blessings in my life and to focus my attention on the positive side of life. I wanted to be mindful and more aware of even little things happening every day. I wanted to live a more authentic life.

Since last Thanksgiving, I have been writing regularly in my journal and have filled several journals. The writing itself is a tool that declutters my mind and brings out the creativity within. My journey to the inside has drawn me closer to my authentic self and God. It has transformed my life in a profound way.

I was baptized in September this year. I am thankful for being a child of God who loves me despite of my shortcomings. I am thankful for being a part of God’s family.

I am becoming a more grateful person. I write more thank-you notes to people. When people have done something nice for me, I want to show my appreciation.

When I say thank you, it not only makes the receiver feel good, it makes me feel good too.

I count my blessings every day as I write in my journal. I am more mindful of what’s happening in my life.

The more grateful I am, the more reasons I have to be grateful. I find more joy in life.

Here is something I would like you to try: Start a gratitude journal.

Every night, before you go to sleep, write down a few things that you are grateful for that day. Start to count your blessings.

Remember, Thanksgiving is not a once-a-year event, but a way of life. Learn to be thankful every day.

As the result of having a thankful heart, you life will be richer and more joyful.

I wish you all a happy and blessed Thanksgiving Day tomorrow and every day of the year.

An introduction to Chinese language

2010-11-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 9/17/2007]

For this school year 2007-2008, our District 833 offers a pilot Mandarin Chinese language program at three elementary schools: Liberty Ridge, Royal Oak and Newport.

Most people here probably have heard the term “Mandarin Chinese,” but don’t really know what it means.

China has eight major dialect groups: Putonghua (Mandarin), Yue (Cantonese), Wu (Shanghainese), Minbei (Fuzhou), Minnan (Taiwanese), Xiang, Gan and Hakka.

Each major dialect sounds so differently that people speaking different dialects often cannot understand each other. In each major dialect, there are countless local variations.

The dialect used in my home town Suzhou sounds very different from the dialect used in Shanghai which is only about one hour away. Even though I don’t speak the Shanghai dialect, at least I can understand it without difficulty, because both dialects belong to same major dialect group called "Wu" dialect.

However, when people speak Cantonese, a dialect spoken in southern China and in many Chinese communities around the world, I can’t understand anything. Cantonese is like a foreign language to me.

The language spoken in Beijing (Peking), the capital of China, is referred to as Putonghua or Mandarin. Putonghua, which means "common language", is the official spoken language of China. It is also one of the four official languages of Singapore.

I learned to speak Mandarin Chinese when I went to college in Beijing. I have used Mandarin Chinese in the last 26 years. However, when I speak, some people can still notice that I have a slight accent from the South.

Even though the pronunciation of Chinese characters in the dialects can be as different from each other as foreign languages, the characters themselves don’t change. So two Chinese who can’t understand each other when they talk, can write to each other without any problem.

There are about 6300 Chinese characters. Among them, about 2500 are commonly used and are mastered by the elementary school kids. These 2500 characters make up 99% of characters used in our every day life. Once you master 2500 commonly used characters, you are considered literate and will be able to read Chinese newspapers and books. As a tourist, you can probably get by in China knowing about a couple of hundred Chinese characters.

One important part of learning Chinese is to learn to write Chinese characters.

Unlike Western languages, Chinese characters are pictographic, meaning that they are simplified pictures of the things they represent and they are independent from their sounds.

Over the last two thousands years Chinese characters have undergone transformations. Some kept this pictographic or ideographic nature while others were gradually modified or simplified so they no longer look like the original objects or ideas.

Most Chinese characters are formed by combining different and recurring components. As new words were needed for things which weren’t easy to draw, existing characters were combined to create new characters. Simpler characters often act as basic building blocks from which more complex characters were formed.

As more and more characters were introduced over the years by combining existing characters, some of them became very complicated. Writing the complicated characters requires many strokes which is very time-consuming. In the middle of the 20th century, the Chinese government created a standardized form of simplified characters to be used in China.

Today, the simplified characters are used in China and Singapore. People no longer learn the old traditional forms of characters. But the traditional forms are still used in Taiwan and in some overseas Chinese communities around the world, among the older generations.

Each Chinese character is made up of a number strokes. Strokes come in various shapes. It can be a straight line, a curve, a bent line, a line with a hook, a dot or a comma.

Traditionally, Chinese was written from top to bottom in columns beginning on the right hand side of the page and working towards the left. The cover of a Chinese book printed in the traditional way is what Westerners consider the back cover.

But along with simplifying the characters, people in China have also changed the way they write and print. Nowadays, Chinese also write from left to right in horizontal lines working from the top to the bottom of a page.

The Chinese characters are pronounced using the phonetic system called “Pinyin,” based on the letters of the alphabet.

About 1.3 billion people (one-fifth of the world population) speak some form of Chinese, making it the language with the most native speakers. Mandarin Chinese is becoming the fastest growing world language taught in schools in this country.

Wanted: a longer school year

2010-08-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 9/5/2007]

I was glad my kids were finally back to school again yesterday. After three months of long summer break with VBS, RKK, vacation, and staying with friends, life is back to normal again with structure and routine. This was the day I had been looking forward to.

My kids were happy to go back to school themselves. There were excited to find out who their new teachers and classmates are.

I wish the school year could be longer and the summer break could be shorter.

The tradition of short school years dates all the way back to the 18th century, when America was a labor-intensive farming nation. The young people were needed at home to work and help out. That is no longer true.
I think the school years or school days should be expanded.

On average, U.S. students go to school 6.5 hours a day, 180 days a year. Other countries' school years are much longer: China's lasts 251 days, Japan's is 243 days, and German’s is 240 days.

Minnesota has no statewide mandatory number of school days. Each district sets its own calendar with a general average of 170 to 175 days. Minnesota students spend on average 172 days in the classroom, below the national average.

There are many benefits of having longer school years or days.

Students will have more structured learning time which will improve their academic performance.

Findings from international achievement surveys show that American students achieve poorly compared to those in other economically advanced countries.

Today’s competitive world economy requires that students in the United States receive education and training that is at least as rigorous as those received by their counterparts in other countries.

I think our students' lack of formal schooling contributes to the unfavorable results. Extending school years or days is one way to increase learning and improve academic achievement.

Now state and federal governments have more rigorous academic standards. In order to master tougher materials and meet higher standards, students need more structured learning time in school.

Increased learning time will enable students to participate in quality academic programs such as learning a world language. The earlier the students start learning a foreign language, the better it is.

Extending school years and days not only allows more learning time in classrooms, enables schools to offer an array of enrichment activities, it also gives teachers more time for planning and professional development.

Over the summer months, many students not only fail to advance academically, but they forget much of what they had learned during the previous school year. Shorter summer break will help them retain more of what they had learned.

Minnesota has the highest rate of women in the workforce in the nation. Extended school years and days will put less pressure on working parents. It will relieve them from the burdens of having to find alternative day care and activity options for their children while they go to work.

Parents will have fewer worries because they know their children are involved in constructive learning.

Currently, there are many children who are left on their own after school without adult supervision, because their parents are still at work.

I know there will be many objections to extending the school years or school days, from businesses that profit greatly from no school days to policymakers who are already burdened with funding constraints, from teachers who enjoy the long summer breaks to parents who think their children are already being too busy with activities.

But it's time to leave the tradition behind that no longer serves its purpose. We need to look forward and do what’s good for our children, our families and our country.

Let’s bring the District’s school year up to 21st-century standards before we demand our students to meet higher academic standards.

It would be nice to declutter my life

2010-05-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 6/26/2007]

When I came to the United States in 1991, I had a couple of suitcases of stuff.

Sixteen years later - after two kids, six job changes, four moves in three states, and especially after moving into the current new house in Woodbury six years ago - the stuff in possession is more than a couple of truck loads now.

I don’t say it with any pride, but with a lot of concern.

Even though I don’t do much shopping, stuff in my house keeps growing and accumulating. I am a detail oriented and organized person. However, there are still countless times when I feel overwhelmed because I can’t find things I am looking for. Things disappear and get lost somewhere in the cluttered house.

As I spent more time organizing things and looking for things, as I feel more overwhelmed than ever by the stuff overflowing everywhere in the house, my concern starts to grow as well.

I realized that a peaceful mind can’t thrive in a cluttered environment. I really need to simplify and declutter my life in order to have less stress and more peace. I need to choose an intentional living and live my life on purpose.

What would a simplified and clutter-free life look like?

As I spend less time on things not so important, I would have more time to do the things I really want to do.

As I have less stuff to organize and keep, I would be able to find things more easily and without much effort and digging.

As my house is kept organized and tidy all the time, I would be able to invite people to my house without being embarrassed and feeling the burden of having to spend a lot of time on cleaning up.

As less things get accumulated which causes less physical and emotional stress, I would feel more relaxed and enjoy life better.

As the energy flows freely through me and the environment around me, I would feel more connected to the Spirit and be more creative and inspired (in-spirit).

As physical and emotional decluttering frees my mind of negative thoughts and feelings, I would be more mindful and be able to live more in the present.

This is the kind of life I would like to have. This is something I need to get started and work on.

There is both good and bad news for me to achieve this goal.

The good news is I know the difference between needs and wants. I don’t have any desire to keep up with the Joneses.

I don’t have the instant gratification mentality. And best of all, as my age increases, my desire for buying things decreases. Lately I don’t do much shopping.

But the bad news is I am a packrat. Even though I wasn’t born or grew up during the Great Depression in the 1930s, I experienced living conditions far worse than the Great Depression.

I was born in the 1960s and grew up during the Chinese Cultural Revolution.

The Depression-era mentality I have developed results in clutter accumulation, because I feel I need to keep everything.

I feel guilty to throw away or waste anything. So my house is packed with items I don’t need or use but can’t bear to part with.

Recognizing and acknowledging a problem is the first step towards solving the problem. It’s a big step to realize and admit that I have a clutter problem and that needs to be dealt with sooner or later.

By decluttering my physical environment, I will have less stress.

By decluttering my mind, I will have more peace. The end results I desire and have in mind will hopefully give me some motivation to get started.

In a future column, I will talk about Feng Shui, an ancient Chinese art of placement and how it can help decluttering our lives.

Lessons, garden style

2010-05-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/29/2007]

My last column was about the joy of gardening. In this column, I want to talk about some lessons I have learned from my gardening.

You reap what you sow
This Biblical truth is common sense, but is worth a reminder. The harvest that I reap depends on the kind of seeds I sow. If I sow tomato seeds, I will not reap potatoes.

What I do comes back to me. Whatever I give out to others, others will eventually give back to me. Everything that happens to me is a result of my own actions.

If I treat others with love and respect, others will treat me with love and respect. I reap what I sow in my garden. I also reap what I sow in my life.

There is a time and season for everything
I planted some seeds of a certain vegetable in spring. They grew pretty fast and were ready for consumption within a month.

After they were all gone, I wanted to plant some more. So I planted the same kind of seeds in summer, but nothing came out. I don’t know why the same kind of seeds didn’t germinate at all.

I realized that there is a time and season for planting and harvesting. I have to do it at the right time. If I miss the desired time for planting and harvesting, it wouldn’t be good.

Everything in life has its time and season. If we don’t teach kids certain things when they are little, we can miss the window of opportunities and will not be able to do it when they are older.

More is not necessary better
In May, I planted some Chinese vegetable seeds. Out of my inexperience and greed, I planted more seeds than I should. I wanted more. So I thought the more seeds I planted, the more vegetables I could harvest.

The result was I did get more plants, but they didn’t grow well. Because the plants were too crowded together, they didn’t get enough space and sun to grow bigger and stronger. Instead of growing the roots deep down into the soil, the plants grew skinny and tall to compete for space and sun.

A few seeds landed in bigger space. They grew to be much bigger and better, because they have more space to grow.

More is not necessary better. This truth applies in real life too.

Weeds grow faster than the desired plants
I have to pull weeds in my garden constantly. They grow surprisingly faster than my vegetables. It’s easier to get what I don’t desire than what I do desire.

Good things in life happen slowly and are built slowly over time, while bad things happen quickly without much effort.

We all know it’s so much easy to gain a few pounds than to lose a few pounds. It’s so much easier to start a bad habit than to start a good habit.

I need to watch out for the weeds in my life and snap them before they can grow bigger. I need to work hard on getting the desired plants.

Constant maintenance and care is needed
Any desired plants and garden need constant care. I can’t plant some seeds and forget about them and then expect to reap a good harvest.

Planting seeds is just one of the first steps in gardening. There are a lot more things to do. I have to water and weed regularly to ensure their healthy growth.

The same thing happens in life. I can’t get married and expect the marriage will work out fine without constant work. I can’t give birth to a child and expect him to grow up by himself without raising him properly.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
I need to pull weeds constantly, and do so when they are small so they don’t takeover my vegetable plants or take away the nutrients my plants need. I think mulching is a good idea. A few hours spent mulching is better than many hours weeding.

No work, no reward
My reward comes form my hard work. Without my initial planting of the seeds, watering and weeding them on a regular basis, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the result. I can’t expect reward without putting in any efforts.

No work, no reward. This same principle applies to work life as well as our personal relationships in life.

Life doesn’t always give instantaneous rewards
Gardening takes time and efforts. There is not instant rewards and gratification. Many times, out efforts are not paid off until some time in the future.

Letting go of control
A plant needs soil, water and sun to grow and grow well. I can provide soil and water, but I can’t make the sun shine.

In real life, there are certain things I can control, but there are a lot more things that are out of my control. I need to learn to let go.

Life is a miracle
It’s simply a miracle to watch a plant grow out of a tiny seed. There is nothing more miraculous than watch how living things grow.

First there is the seed, and then a tiny seedling comes out. It grows bigger and bigger in front of my eyes.

Unlike building a house, where I can see how it is build, one brick at a time, I can’t see how the seed grows, but I know it’s growing.

Just as I know for sure, there is an architect and a builder behind the house, I know for sure, there is a Creator behind all living things, even if I can’t see it.

When I realize how miraculous life is, I also realize there must be a Creator in the Universe.

The joy of gardening

2010-05-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/22/2007]

I like plants and enjoy planting and gardening. A few people told me that I have a green thumb.

I think it’s more a compliment than the truth. I really don’t have the knowledge and skills of a master gardener. Nevertheless, I find great joy in gardening.

I grew up in the city where there were a lot more people than green space and trees.

We didn’t have enough living space, let alone any space for plants and gardening. Nature wasn’t a part of my growing up. I didn’t have any experience with planting and gardening

I think my love for plants in recent years comes from my Father. Dad likes plants. He has a few flower plants in the small apartment where my parents live now in China. As my Dad gets older and has more time, he enjoys looking after his plants more.

When we bought our first house in Woodbury seven years ago, we created a vegetable garden in the back yard. I had two purposes in mind: to grow our own vegetables in the summer and to give my parents something fun to do.

For the next few summers, my parents took care of the garden. They spent a lot of their time in the garden. Every morning the first thing they did was to check the garden. It kept them busy with watering, weeding or harvesting.

Gardening was one of the few things they really enjoyed about living here in the United States. It was a rare opportunity for them to grow vegetables. They don’t have a garden at home.

I don’t think people in the cities in China can possibly have a vegetable garden. Most live in high rise apartment buildings. Keeping a few indoor plants is the best they can do.

My parents went back home last fall. This year I am the one who has to do all the gardening work. I really enjoy it. I find gardening is very good for my body, mind and soul.

Gardening is a low-impact form of exercise. When I get tired from sitting, gardening provides me an opportunity to get up, go outside and do something productive.

The best thing about gardening is I can eat organic and healthy home grown foods while not spending much money. It really saves my grocery bills.

We all know fresh food provide the best nutrition. The closer we eat to the source where food is actually grown, the healthier is the food for our body.

Often right before dinner, I go out to the garden and pick some vegetables. I wash and prepare them within half an hour. Then they are ready for the dinner table. I love to eat my own organic vegetables picked freshly out of the garden.

There is just something very sweet when I can harvest and consume the products I have grown myself, and enjoy the fruits of my own labor.

The vegetables from my own garden may not look or even taste better than those I buy from the grocery store or farmer’s market, but there is a special feeling or a sense of accomplishment when I eat vegetable from my own garden.

I feel good because growing my own vegetables is good for my health, my pocket and the environment.

Gardening provides a creative outlet and a personal link to nature. It helps me feel attached to the earth and reminds me that I am part of nature.

As a gardener, I am also a creator. I prepare the soil, plant the seeds, then I water and weed, watch and wait, nurturing that new life into maturity.

When I am in the garden, worries and concerns seem to fade away. I am living in the present, marveling at the beauty nature brings and the miracle of life.

It brings joy that comes from hard work. It brings peace and slows me down in my busy life. It helps to reduce stress and increase relaxation.

In the last three months, as I spend more time in the garden plowing, planting, weeding and harvesting, I have even learned a few lessons.

In my next column, I will talk about some lessons I learned from my gardening.

TV Fasting August

2010-05-02T21:30:00.001-07:00

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/1/2007]

Lately I heard people talking on the radio about TV fasting. They challenge Americans to have a TV free month in August.

I wholeheartedly embrace this idea. I don’t think it’s hard to do, at least not for me. In fact, I haven’t watched TV for almost 10 years.

When I was growing up, there was no TV. Like other families, my family only had a radio. It provided news and entertainment for everyone. I don’t remember when my parents bought their first small back and white TV, probably after I left for college in 1981.

During my college years I lived in a dormitory on campus. There was no TV in the dorm. I was busy studying anyway.

After graduation I spent a year at the Chinese Central Television. I was behind the scene and could see how TV programs were produced. But I still didn’t watch much TV.

I started to watch TV regularly while studying in Germany and living with a German family. I watched news every evening. My German got better.

After I came to the US in 1991, I stayed home for a few months. There was nothing for me to do except watching TV and learning English. I spent lots of time watching TV talk shows hosted by Jenny Jones, Joan Rivers, Phil Donahue, Maury Povich, Oprah, etc.

Even though there was a lot of trash talk, and sometimes I fell asleep during the day while watching TV, they were very helpful for me to learn English. They all became my English teachers.

After my English improved, I went to work part time and eventually went to college full time and then work full time. I still watched a little bit of TV in the evenings. Usually I only watched programs I liked, such as Unsolved Mysteries, 20/20, Dateline, 60 Minutes, etc.

When my son was born 9 years ago, I got busy and gave up TV. I am not sure whether I stopped watching TV gradually or abruptly. I don’t miss TV at all. Now I feel more or less irritated when the TV is on, especially at meal time.

Instead of watching TV, I like to read and listen to radio talk shows. I think I get more out of reading and listening to radio than watching TV.

My kids don’t watch much TV either. Sometimes they watch a children’s program on tape or DVD. They certainly want to watch more TV, but I don’t let them. Now my son is more into playing computer games or game boy games. And he is at an age that’s harder to control, because he wants to do things all his friends do or everyone in school does.

I know it’s tempting for parents to use TV as a baby-sitter. It’s much easier for parents to let kids do what they want than to discipline them to do the things we want them to do.

Especially now during the three month long summer break, many kids are home all day. They are bored and spend more time on TV and games. Letting them watch TV and playing games is certainly easy on us parents. Kids get what they want. They are busy, quiet and happy. They will leave parents alone. But we know that’s not good for them to watch too much TV.

As parents, we need to be able to say “No” to their requests. Don’t fret when our kids say: “I am bored!”

Kids don’t have to be entertained by someone or something all the times. They need to learn and do things on their own. Boredom often leads to creativity.

When my son tells me: “Mom, I am bored! What should I do? Can I play my game?” I don’t feel bad about it or feel guilty of my not doing a good job as a mother.

I might say to him: “Oh, good you are bored. Now you can read a book or practice piano.” He doesn’t like my suggestion, but he doesn’t always get what he wants.

What are the benefits of not watching TV?

It minimizes the negative effects of TV on our physical and mental health, family time, and children's academic success.

Instead of living a couch potato lifestyle, we can live healthier lives by being more physically active. We have more time to exercise and play outside.

We can create our own experiences instead of living through the lives and experiences of someone else. The best memories come from life's experiences. We can only build memories with experiences, our own experiences.

Families can spend more time doing activities together.

Keeping the TV off can make meal time a great opportunity for family conversation.

There will be time to listen to music and radio.

Children are not exposed to programs that are inappropriate or unhealthy at a young age. They can spend more time reading, thinking, doing homework, creating or cultivating a hobby.

I hope you will consider and accept this TV fasting challenge in August. Turn off TV and turn on life.

Life is too short to spend it by watching others living their lives. And after a month of the experiment, you might not want to go back to TV again.

An intro to Feng shui

2010-03-16T19:49:00.001-07:00

China, a country with 5,000 years of history, is rich in culture and art. One of the ancient Chinese arts that has become increasingly popular in the West is Feng shui.

About 30 years ago, few people in the West knew anything about Feng shui, but today, many people at least have heard about it and some might even know more about it than the average native Chinese do.

Many Feng shui books and articles have been published in English, often focusing on interior design and decoration, landscape design, architecture, and clearing clutter.

Feng shui has been used by the Chinese to build homes and offices, design cities and villages for thousands of years. Individuals as well as businesses consult Feng shui experts to improve their lives and businesses.

So what is Feng shui? How can Feng shui be helpful in our modern lives?

Feng shui is an ancient Chinese art for achieving health, wealth, happiness, harmony and good fortune according to the arrangement of building design and the placement of objects.

In Chinese, Feng Shui literally means “wind and water,” referring to the two universal elements necessary for life. These universal elements are connected to Chi (or Qi), which is life energy or life force. Wind and water carry this life energy throughout the world. This invisible life energy flows through the universe and is present in everything in life.

The flow of Chi, or energy, is the key component of Feng shui. We want the Chi to be flowing evenly and gently, to go at a certain pace, not too fast or too slow. Chi travels best when it imitates nature by flowing in gentle curves, rather than along straight lines, where it can move too quickly, or against sharp edges and dead corners, where it can be blocked.

The ancient Chinese believed that the lay-out of our homes, the positioning of our furniture and other features, can affect how that life energy flows. Good Feng shui can enrich your environment and create balance and harmony in your life, while bad Feng shui can hinder the free, smooth flowing of energy and create disharmony in our life.

Creating balance and harmony is the essence of Feng shui. It’s about connecting with nature and living in harmony with our environment. If your environment is in balance, you feel better. Without balance, you don’t have harmony which can cause problems in all areas of your life.

The eight directions of the compass (north, east, south, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, and southwest) and the center, known together as the Nine Palaces, are basic components of Feng-shui.

Each direction is associated with a different kind of chi energy.

Bagua, the eight trigrams, is an energy map used in Feng shui. It is traditionally shown as an octagon with eight sections encircling the center. Bagua divides any space (your entire home or simply a room within it) into nine areas. Each area corresponds to a different aspect of your life. These nine areas represent health, wealth, fame and reputation, relationships, children and creativity, helpful people, career, knowledge, and family.

Our health, our wealth, our relationships with others, our career, all areas of our life, are affected by Feng shui. The Bagua map can be superimposed over any space to help identify where problems exit.

Feng shui teaches that by adjusting and shifting the energies within a space, by making changes to your home and using cures to correct problems, different aspects of your life can be strengthened.

Also, you can achieve balance, harmony and abundance in your life.

The Chinese believe that everything in the universe is made up of five elements: earth, water, wood, fire and metal. These elements exist in a constant movement of change.

Each element has its yin (receptive, passive) side and its yang (creative, active) side. Day and night, dark and light, hot and cold, soft and hard, feminine and masculine, they are opposites and complementary to each other. One cannot exist without the other.

Feng shui uses the five elements as one of the effective ways to create positive energy or remedy bad energy. If all of the elements exist in a space and none of them dominates, you get a feeling of comfort and harmony. Feng shui teaches us how to balance the yin and yang elements to achieve harmony.

Color is another important aspect of balance in Feng shui. Color has an effect on the look and feel of a room, but colors also have associations linked to them. For example, to the Chinese red is a lucky color, associated with life, happiness, and warmth. Green and blue are associated with new beginnings, growth and family life.

Numbers also have meaning and some are more favorable than others. Nine is considered the luckiest, partially due to apparent mystical qualities: when nine is multiplied by a single-digit number, the sum of the two digits of the product is nine.

The number four is considered bad-luck because its Chinese pronunciation, "si," sounds similar to the word for death.

In the next three columns, I will talk about how to use Feng shui to declutter our lives, what some good Feng shui practices are and what a Feng shui consultant can do for you.

I would like to end this column with an old Chinese proverb: “If there is harmony in the house, there is order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.”

[This is part 1 of the series on Feng shui. Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 10/24/2007]

Reduce clutter: use Feng shui

2010-03-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Do you have too much stuff in your home that you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel stuck in your life and don’t know what to do? I think most people in this country would say yes to questions like these, including myself.

If you want to clear clutter out of your home and give your life a fresh start and get it moving again, I would recommend the book “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston.

As I talked about in last week’s column on Feng shui, everything in the universe is chi, or energy. For your life to go well, it is vital to have a good flow of life force energy in home and workplace.

Feng shui is all about ensuring the free flow of energy. Using Feng Shui principles can improve this energy flow.

What is clutter?

Karen lists four categories of clutter:

• Things you do not use or love.

• Things that are untidy or disorganized.

• Too many things in too small a space.

• Anything unfinished.

Clutter can "catch" energy, stopping its free circulation and turning it dull and stagnant.

The presence of clutter tends to lock up energy and prevent the flow of chi.

Chi should always be on the move. Air and energy cannot circulate where clutter exits. Clutter is stuck energy. Clutter creates an obstacle to the smooth flow of energy around a space. It drags the energy down.

“Clutter accumulates when energy stagnates and, likewise, energy stagnates when clutter accumulates. So the clutter begins as a symptom of what is happening with you in your life.”

How does clutter affect you?

According to Kingston, having clutter can cause extra cleaning. It can make you feel burdened, tired, hopeless and ashamed. It can keep you in the past and leave no room for anything new to come into your life. It can put your life on hold. It can affect your body weight.

People who have lots of clutter in their homes are often overweight. It can make you procrastinate and become disorganized. The clutter blocks your energy and makes it difficult to get yourself to do anything. It can cause disharmony and depression. It can cost you financially. It can distract you from important things in life.

Unneeded and unloved items can not only clutter your space, they can also clutter your psyche. Clutter causes problems in people’s lives.

Clutter can restrict the flow of opportunities coming to you. Clutter can decrease productivity and creativity. Clutter can clog your life and hinder your progress in the world.

How do you deal with your clutter?

You can keep it, wait until you die and let your relatives sort things out. Or you can take responsibility and clear it yourself. It’s far more empowering to do it yourself.

Deciding what to keep and what to give/throw away is not an easy thing to do. Ideally everything you keep should have a valid purpose. Ask yourself the following questions to help you decide:

• Is it useful and when did you use it the last time?

• Do you absolutely love it?

• Does it make your feel uplifted and energized when you think or look at it?

If it fails this “clutter test,” then it’s time to let go.

How do you clear clutter and deal with the stuff you no longer want to keep?

First, prepare several boxes. Then take everything out of a drawer or an area. Decide what to do. Unwanted items can go to one of the following boxes: a giveaway box, a recycling box, a repair box, a selling box or a trash box.

What happens once you clear the clutter out of your house?

Clearing clutter out of your house also helps you clear clutter out of your mind. It lifts up your energy and spirits. You will feel better and lighter. You will feel a renewal of energy. You will feel lighter in body, mind and spirit.

When you get rid of clutter from your house, you clear the space for something new and better. It will allow new things and new opportunities to come into your life. It will energize you and revitalize your life.

Clearing out the clutter and removing the obstacles to the harmonious flow of energy brings more harmony and balance into your life.

You will experience more freedom. Plus, you’ll feel a transformation in your life.

Adjustments made to our outer physical world can really change and improve our inner selves. If you have a clutter problem, give Feng shui a try. You could be surprised and amazed by what Feng shui can do for you.

In my next column I will share with you some additional good Feng shui practices.

[This is part 2 of the series on Feng shui. Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 10/31/2007]

Good Feng shui practices

2010-03-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

My last two columns were about Feng shui and using Feng shui to clear clutter. In this column I will share with you some commonly known Feng shui practices that are considered to be good ones.

Make the front entrance to your house or workplace well lit, clean and welcoming to create a good first impression and bring in positive energy.

In Feng shui, the front entrance is called the “Mouth of Chi.” It is one of the most important areas in the house or space. It is through the Mouth of Chi that opportunities and blessings come to you.

Don’t keep clutter wedged behind the door that prevents it from opening fully. Clutter obstructs the smooth flow of life-bringing energy through your home. When you remove clutter, the energy flows more smoothly and so does your life.

Ideally, your view from your house and window should not be blocked by a tall building or wall. Otherwise you feel blocked and depressed, mentally and emotionally.

In an office environment, all of the electronic equipment and most of the modern office furniture produces a lot of “yang” energy.

When a workspace is out of balance by having too much yang energy, it can cause stress and fatigue, increasing frustration and impatience while decreasing attention spans.

You need softening yin energy to balance the yang forces. Bring in some plants to soften the space and lift up your spirit. Plants can also help absorb noisy sound from the electronic equipment.

Avoid locations that have either too fast or not enough energy flow, such as houses near a freeway or at a dead end. Buildings located directly facing straight roads, such as at the top of a T-junction or at the top of a cul-de-sac are not desirable.

Oncoming traffic and headlights aimed at your building constantly send cutting chi straight toward you.

Hang a wind chime, place a fountain or create a pond near the front entrance to counteract negative energy.

Avoid building houses in front of cemeteries, hospitals, and mortuaries.

Don’t sit with your back to the door. Your desk should face the entrance. You should be able to see who is coming into your space. Having your back face the door can make you feel vulnerable.

Facing the entrance allows you to anticipate what’s going to happen. You will be able to see what’s coming instead of being surprised.

Don’t keep a dirty laundry basket in the bedroom. Stale energy hangs around dirty laundry which can affect your sleep and your love life.

Don’t start a new marriage in a house where either one of the partners has had a bad relationship.

You should not sleep with your head pointed towards the door of the bedroom because this creates a feeling of uneasiness about who might be entering the room.

Keep tops of tables simple and clutter free. Avoid over-decorating tables with objects and clutter. Those objects represent piles of stress and bad luck you could or will be carrying. You should be able to sit at a table and have an open view in front of you.

Use objects that have the power of redirecting, reflecting or shifting energy in a space. These include mirrors, crystals, wind chimes and flowing water.

Good Chi grows with plants. Plants and flowers generate positive and vibrant Chi. Place healthy or blooming plants by the front door and in your house to make the space feel attractive.

Dry and dead flower arrangements represent dead Chi. Dying plants and flowers are worse than no plants or flowers at all. They drain energy from the space and should be removed.

Use natural sunlight, lighting fixtures, candles, fireplaces or other objects that illuminate, such as crystals and mirrors, to light up a space and your life. Lights can raise good Chi.

Gentle and soft sounds can raise Chi and make a space feel calmer and more pleasant. The gentle sound of music, the sound of moving water and wind chimes can create a pleasant, relaxed feeling.

Add a water feature such as an aquarium or a desktop fountain or waterfall to your environment. Gentle, moving water generates positive energy, lifts up your spirit and has a calming effect. Flowing water symbolizes flowing Chi and money flowing to you. That’s why most Chinese restaurants have aquariums.

These are just some examples of good Feng shui practices.

I hope you have learned something new and interesting through my recent columns on Feng shui.

If you feel inspired and want to put some ideas into practice to bring harmony and balance into your home and work life, but need a little guidance and help, you can consult a Feng shui practitioner. A Feng Shui practitioner can help you discover the changes that are appropriate for you, your home, and your life situation.

In my next column I will interview Caroline Lehman, a Feng shui practitioner in Woodbury. We will find out what she can do for you.

[This is part 3 of the series on Feng shui. Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 11/07/2007]

Speaking with a Feng shui consultant

2010-03-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

Feng shui, an ancient Chinese wisdom, is based on how energy flows. It is both a science and an art.

Anyone can practice Feng shui, but to be a certified professional Feng shui practitioner, it requires certain education, knowledge and skills.

Caroline Lehman, a certified Feng shui practitioner in Woodbury, kindly agreed to the following interview.

What was your first experience with Feng shui?

My Feng Shui journey began ten years ago in an East Asian Religions class at Hamline University. I learned that Feng Shui is Chinese for “Wind and Water” and it is concerned with the beneficial flow of life-giving energy (Ch’i) through our environment. Feng Shui is not a religion, although it is based on the Buddhist tradition of a gentle and beautiful life.

Simply put, it is an understanding of how energy flows through the universe and how we can align ourselves to it for a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

A few years later I was able to explore this ancient art of placement in depth. I began with a class on Feng Shui and clutter clearing, taught by Feng Shui consultant Darcy McDowell.

After clearing the clutter in my home, I was absolutely amazed at how my house began to feel, and how my life began to change as a result. I realized quickly that Feng Shui offers practical, logical advice on how to create environments that encourage us.

I went on to study for two years with Carole Hyder and am now a certified Feng Shui Practitioner.

Where and how did you get your certificate?

We are very fortunate here in the Twin Cities to have an excellent school that offers a two year accreditation program that is licensed by the Minnesota Department of Higher Education.

Carole Hyder is the founder and teacher of the Wind and Water School of Feng Shui. You can find information about Carole, articles on Feng Shui, current classes being offered in the area, and enrollment information on her website: www.carolehyder.com.

I would encourage anyone interested in learning more to consider studying Feng Shui with Carole Hyder. I am not exaggerating when I say that it will open your eyes to a whole new way of seeing your world.

What is your approach to Feng shui?

There are several Schools of Feng Shui. While they may differ in approach or method, all of them address the flow of ch’i in and through our environments, and they seek to balance and harmonize that energy so that our spaces support our lives.

My personal training is in the Black Sect Tradition, established by Professor Thomas Lin-Yun. This tradition is very flexible, practical, and intuitive. It focuses on four primary principles: everything is energy, your intention is the most important thing, your home reflects your life, and nature provides the patterns you need.

How do you work with a client?

A Feng Shui appointment usually begins with an introductory phone call to discuss in general terms how they came to hear about Feng Shui and what they would like to accomplish with a consultation.

Before we meet, I ask for a basic blueprint of the floor plan of their home or office, along with a list of three issues or concerns that they would like to address with Feng Shui.

I prepare a packet for them that includes general Feng Shui information as well as specific information pertaining to their home or work area. I also prepare an energy map called a Bagua that is based on their blueprint; we will refer to this during the appointment.

The appointment lasts about two hours, and during that time I ask the client to tell me about their space and how it impacts their life. I then offer my insight on how the energy is flowing, what adjustments might be appropriate to bring balance to their environment, and how Feng Shui can help address their concerns.

What do you say to someone who has clutter issues, but is too embarrassed to ask for help?

Well, first of all, we all have clutter of some kind. It seems to be something that everyone can relate to on some level. Don’t forget that my own clutter issues are what drew me to Feng Shui in the beginning, so I do understand.

Secondly, I never forget that it is an honor and a privilege to be asked into someone’s home. When I walk through your front door, it is never with the intention of judging or criticizing your situation. I am there to share all that Feng Shui offers regarding what clutter is, what it does, and why it needs to go.

I can also provide some helpful information on how to move clutter along so that new, fresh energy and possibilities can flow into your life.

I would encourage anyone who wishes to rid their life of clutter to consider Feng Shui as an effective approach to the issue. You can be free of the stuff that inhibits your energy flow and drains your life.

Who would benefit most from a Feng shui appointment?

Anyone who wants to connect with their environment in a new and meaningful way, to live with deeper intention and clarity, to address an issue from a different perspective, to create a supportive, balanced, peaceful home environment, to bring focused energy to their office, or to simply see the world with new eyes will benefit from an appointment.

Feng Shui gives you a way to initiate change and move in the direction of your goals and dreams. As a result, you will gain a fresh sensitivity to how spaces affect you, how energy flows, and how you can orient your life to live in harmony with that flow.

Besides offering home or office consultations, Lehman has also written manuals on Elemental Moving and Elemental Clearing. She is developing a line of “Elemental Purses.”

For more information or to set up a Feng Shui consultation, email Caroline@ElementalFengShui.net, or call (651) 269-3315.

[This is part 4 of the series on Feng shui. Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 11/14/2007.]

Living the Spirit of Life with Passion

2010-03-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

Anyone who visits Spirit of Life Bible Church in Woodbury and hears Pastor Frank Sander’s messages is most likely impressed by what he/she sees and hears. Pastor Sanders is a man of stature, and more importantly, he is a man of passion.

At least that is how I feel as a former Chinese atheist, now a Christian and a new member of Spirit of Life.

I went to Spirit of Life in September 2004 because the Church was offering an 8 week study on “The 40 Days of Purpose.” I stayed with Spirit of Life because of Pastor Sanders. As a seek of many years, I had visited quite a few churches in my life before I came to Spirit of Life, but no other pastors have ever made a more powerful impression on me than Pastor Sanders.

At 6 feet, 3 inches, Pastor Sanders is a tall man. He had a career as a professional hockey player and played hockey for over 20 years. His athletic talent, his passion, and hard work led him to the pinnacle of his dreams as an athlete on the 1972 USA hockey team when it captured the Olympic Silver Medal in Sapporo, Japan. He played one year professionally with the Minnesota Fighting Saints.

Yet the success in his professional life didn’t bring the fulfillment and happiness he was looking for. Even though he reached the mountaintop and experienced great success, he still felt emptiness in his life. What he had achieved was not satisfying. He walked away from the worldly pursuit of success and happiness, and turned his life in a new direction.

At the age of 25, he committed his life to serve the Lord. He went to seminary and became a youth pastor. He worked with young people for almost 20 years and was an associate minister for several years after that.

Then another change happened that brought his faith and passion for Christ to a new level.

In 2001, Sanders and 13 other people started Spirit of Life Bible Church in Woodbury. It was a big step of faith for him and all the members, but their strong faith in God helped them take the risk and face the challenge.

Sander’s teaching and messages are always based on the truth from the Bible. They are practical and challenging. One thing is for sure. People do not feel bored when listening to his messages. His passion and excitement for God will infect, inspire and impress everyone around him.

His passion for Christ shows especially during his Sunday sermons. Psalm 100 says to “Shout for joy to the Lord” and that’s the way Sanders preaches. He literally makes a lot of joyful noises when he preaches. He can be as excited and passionate about Jesus as a sport fan is excited about watching his favorite team winning the Olympics.

A major focus of the church’s activities is the Children's Program that includes the weekly Sunday School classes and fun activities throughout the year, monthly Children's Church services, Cub Scouts, Vacation Bible School, an annual picnic, Fall Harvest party and Christmas Program.

My two children love to go to Sunday school at Spirit of Life. They love the small class size and the dedicated Sunday school teachers.

In the four plus years since the Church started, God has blessed it tremendously and membership has grown exponentially. The current church facility at Wooddale Drive is getting too small. With the big population growth in Woodbury, the congregation saw the need for a bigger church facility to accommodate the growth.

“There is a hunger for God in this community. We see a big opportunity and a huge responsibility ahead of us,“ Sanders said. “Moving into a new facility is another big step of faith, but we know that God will supply our needs. We are doing this for God’s glory. He will bless us again as He did over the last few years.”

The new church facility at 690 Commerce Drive is near Sam’s Club. The first service will take place at 10 am, Sunday, September 3. Everyone is welcome. For more information and to request a DVD about the church, visit www.SpiritOfLifeBibleChurch.org, or call 651-731-1900.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/30/2006]

Allow me to introduce myself

2010-03-03T20:58:00.000-08:00

My name is Qin Tang. I have been a resident of Woodbury since 2001 - and that’s how long I have been reading Woodbury Bulletin.

I really enjoy reading the newspaper every week to find out what’s going on in the community. Even though I read other newspapers as well, there is no other paper I am more loyal to than this one. It’s close to home and is more important to me.

In the past, I have had several articles published in the Bulletin. But that can’t be compared to what I am starting now - as a personal columnist for this award-winning newspaper.

I am so excited to become a regular writer for the paper and to make my contribution to something that has enriched my own life in the past six years.

The Bulletin's managing editor, Bob Eighmy, asked that I tell you a little bit about myself in this first column so people can know where I come from. It’s my pleasure to do so. I hope I will also get to know more people in Woodbury as a result of writing this column.

I came from China. My hometown, Suzhou, is a well known ancient city in China with a history of 2500 years. The city is renowned for its beautiful classical gardens, pagodas, stone bridges and silk industry. It is, therefore, a great tourist attraction. The city has been called the "Paradise on Earth" since ancient times and is also known as the "Venice of the East."

Suzhou currently has a pupation of a little over 6 million people. That's about one half percent of the total population in China. The city ranks No. 1 in its contracted overseas investments and is one of the most prosperous cities in China. Geographically, Suzhou is about one to two hours away from Shanghai.

I studied German at the Beijing Foreign Studies University in Beijing, the Capital of China, from 1981 to1985. After graduation I got a job at the China Central Television to help start a new German language program. A year later I left for Germany for additional education on a German government scholarship. I studied at the University of Heidelberg for five years and got my MA in German in 1991.

That same year I came to the United States.

After a lot of hard work learning English and passing my "English as a second language" test, I went to the University of Wisconsin, Madison for a master’s degree in Library and Information Science, which I finished in 1994. (Yes, you do need a master’s degree to be a professional librarian. Many people are surprised to hear that.) I lived and worked in Chicago for five years before moving to Twin Cities in 1999. Since 2000 I have been working at the Minnesota Dept. of Transportation.

While I enjoy living in the US, and both of my chilldren were born here, I still feel a deep connection to my native country where I spent my first 22 years of life. I also treasure the five years I lived in Germany. I would consider myself a resident of Woodbury and a citizen of the world.

I am so looking forward to sharing with you what’s on my mind. The great thing about being a personal columnist is I can write almost whatever I want. As Bob Eighmy said: “The sky's the limit.”

I know I will write articles related to children and school. You will hear a lot about my two children, Andy, 8 and Amy, 6, who both attend Liberty Ridge Elementary School.

I will write about things related to China. Even though I left China 20 years ago, China is still close to my heart.

I will write about books I read since I like to read every day. There is nothing I enjoy doing more than reading and writing.

I will write about issues related to this community.

Most of all, I will write whatever inspires me, whatever is dear to my heart, whatever is on my mind. I hope you will enjoy my column and my writing.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 11/8/2006]

A special adoption journey

2010-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

International adoption is neither new nor rare. It seems like everyone knows someone who has adopted a child from another country. But how many people would consider adopting a special needs child even though they already have three children of their own? Probably not many. Yet the Countrymans did just that.

Tina and Steve Countryman are a couple blessed with three healthy children: Abby, 12, Luke, 10 and Zeke, 7. They are not only busy with their own children, they also have their hands full with over 50 Hmong teenagers in the St. Paul Urban Ministry that the couple leads. The family resides in St. Paul, but attend Woodbury Church of Christ.

The Countryman’s ties to Asia go back to the time from 1991 to 1996 when they were missionaries in Thailand. Abby and Luke Countryman were born there. They all have a big heart of love for the Asian people. They also feel a strong desire to help a child in need of a loving home and to share their love with those less fortunate. This led them to adopting a girl from China. Her name is Phoebe.

The idea became clear in the summer of 2004. They contacted a national adoption agency. But it didn’t work out, because they didn't meet the financial requirements.

Steve and Tina didn’t give up. They kept praying and seeking God’s help.

Then in the spring of 2005, they heard about a different adoption agency, All God's Children International. They approached this agency with their request to adopt a healthy girl from China. The agency was willing to give it a try. It asked Chinese officials if adoption was possible even though financial requirement was not met. When these officials agreed, they took that as God's clear direction for them.

They began their paperwork process by the end of the summer. In December 2005, the adoption took a new twist when the agency asked them if they would be willing to adopt a special needs girl who had been diagnosed with congenital small eyeballs.

After much talking and praying they agreed. Travel dates were March 3 to 17. It was a very emotional experience for them.

One of their most unforgettable moments came when they visited the orphanage where Phoebe lived. It was the Yanping District Children's Welfare Institute in Fujian Province, China.

To physically stand among the children at the orphanage, to reach out and stroke their faces, hold their hands and know how much they needed a home, was really hard to take in. They wished they could bring them all home, but all they could do was to try to just touch each child, talk to each one in their bed and say a silent prayer that someday each of the children would find a home and could leave the orphanage just like Phoebe did. God brought comfort in walking through the gates at the end with Phoebe in their arms, knowing that Phoebe didn't have to sleep there any more.

While the hard part of the trip was seeing all the kids at the orphanage, a different perspective presented itself a few days later at the American consulate in Guangzhou. A group of people with adopted children gathered to finish their paperwork for the children to go to the United States. They were all beaming.

Though there were many more still left behind, it was encouraging to see all these kids being placed in families who want and love them.

Back in the United States, Phoebe has been checked by two eye doctors. She was diagnosed with bilateral blepharophimosis syndrome, which has to do with the eyelids themselves. She had her first eye surgery on Aug. 30. Later in life, doctors will perform more involved surgery.

The family received two grants to cover the costs of the adoption, one from Shaohannah's Hope and one from LYDIA Fund. Likewise, the Countryman’s church family at Woodbury Church of Christ provided lots of prayer and support.

Their adoption journal can be viewed online at http://www.myladybugjournal.com/files/Countryman/countrymanHOME.html

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 9/13/2006]

Fundraising lessons learned

2010-02-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

This is a follow-up to my last column about my first fundraising experience for the local Chinese school. In this column I would like to share a few lessons I have learned in the process. I hope my own experience will benefit other people, especially local school PTA volunteers who help with various school fundraising events every year.

• No fear

Most people don’t like to ask others for donations. We don’t feel comfortable doing that because we dread rejection. So the first step in the fundraising process is to move past our fears of rejection and learn how to ask.

“Ask and you shall receive.” If you don’t ask, you will never receive anything.

While we should have confidence in asking and hope for positive results, we should also be prepared for rejection. We can’t expect success every time. There will be businesses that don’t return calls or e-mails. That’s to be expected. If we are prepared, then we will not be disappointed.

• Plan early

Doing fundraising is no small feat. It takes a lot of planning, determination and hard work to make it successful.

It takes time to contact businesses, wait for responses, write letters, pick up donations, evaluate results and incorporate the results into the final events. So you should plan and start the process as early as possible.

Big store or chain stores have more rules and procedures in place. They receive a lot of donation requests so they have to follow certain procedures in their decision making process. Some have to go through the headquarters before making decisions.

Some have monthly or quarterly limits to give away. So once they reach the set limits in the month or quarter, you have to wait for the next month or quarter.

Expect two to four weeks of lag time for big businesses.

• Start small

It is easier to do fundraising with smaller or independent businesses or stores than big or chain stores. Because they are not overwhelmed with donation requests, they are more willing to say “yes” if they do get requests.

With smaller businesses, the owners can make decisions on the spot. They don’t have to follow any procedures from corporate office.

So when you start small, you are more likely to find success and gain confidence.

• Prepare a letter

Some businesses will ask you to put your request in writing and on your organization’s letterhead. Some also ask for your organization’s tax ID. In the letter you should state the purpose of the fundraising. Using the five W's — Who, What, Where, Why, When — is a good guideline to write a brief letter to the business that asks for it.

• Mutual benefit

Businesses exist to make money and be profitable. When you ask for donations, don’t just say what they can do for you, but also tell them what you can do for them. It’s nice for the businesses to know that you need and appreciate their support for your worthy cause, but it’s more attractive for them if they know that they will benefit from their donations as well.

When I approached Atlantic Buffet for our fundraising event, I asked for something most people probably thought was impossible. Yet I was confident. I went to the meeting with the owner well-prepared.

Without even being asked, I prepared a letter. In the letter I not only stated the benefits this fundraising event would have for the local Chinese School, but more importantly, I listed more benefits this event would have for his business.

After reading my letter, the owner said “fine” without any objections or questions regarding my proposal. It was that simple. Again, “Ask and you shall receive.”

I am not sure it would be that simple, had I not prepared the letter to convince him that the event would benefit his business as well.

In my brief phone conversations with other businesses, I didn’t have time to say much. I only mentioned that after the event I would write a thank you note and publicly acknowledge their support through Woodbury Bulletin.

• Find a partner

For better results, involve a local business as a partner. In partnership with a local restaurant to host the event, in partnership with a local nursery to sell plants, you attract more people with less work and better results.

• Public recognition

Everyone likes a pat on the back now and then. I think when a business supports the local community and donates to your non-profit organization in the worthy cause, you should at least send a thank you letter.

In addition, a public recognition in the local newspaper is appropriate and very much appreciated. It’s a great incentive for the businesses to support local community if they will be publicly acknowledged by the local community for their support.

• My big mistake

I thought I raised enough gift certificates for every family who would attend our event.

We ended up having a little more people come to the event than expected. That wasn’t a problem. My mistake was I was so confident in my thinking that every family would get something that I didn’t do any “quantity control.”

We ended up having some families winning a prize for every family member present while very few, maybe a handful of families didn’t win anything. When I found that out at the end, I felt really bad. I wish I had done something to let every family win a prize before they could win multiple prizes. Just to be “fair.”

Through my first fundraising experience, I have learned a few lessons. I think I could do better next time.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 2/27/2008]

Thanks to those who helped

2010-02-22T20:47:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago I wrote about the new Chinese School in Woodbury, which started in September 2007.

To celebrate the beginning of the new semester (Feb. 2) and the Chinese New Year (Feb. 9), to provide an opportunity for teachers, students and their families to get together and to raise some money for student activities, the school decided to have a celebration and fundraising event on Saturday, Feb. 2.

Atlantic Buffet owner David was very kind and generous in offering us a convenient place and a great price to hold the party in his restaurant.

To encourage students and their families’ participation in this event, I, as a member of the Chinese school’s board, took it upon myself to contact local businesses and ask for their support in forms of gift certificates or gift baskets.

I have never done fundraising before. So this was a learning experience. Thanks to the generosity of businesses I contacted, it was a great experience, too.

The first business I called was Shanghai Market in St. Paul, because it is a Chinese grocery store I have shopped in the past and is well known in the Chinese community. After my brief explanation, the manager quickly promised to give us gift certificates to support our event.

As my first fundraising effort resulted in success with only one phone call and in only a few minutes, my confidence and ambition were greatly increased. Maybe I could do more than just gift certificates from one store. I started contacting businesses in the Woodbury area.

I thought Asian businesses in Woodbury might be more willing to support our Chinese New Year celebration. My first call went to Pei Wei Asian Diner. The manager promised some gift certificates on the spot. I got more encouragement after this second successful try.

I made more phone calls.

I quickly found out it’s easier to do fundraising with smaller or independent businesses or stores than big or chain stores. It’s understandable. With smaller stores, the owners can make decisions on the spot.

On the other hand, big store or chain stores managers often have to follow certain procedures or go through the headquarters before making decisions.

They receive donation requests a lot more so they have to have some rules and procedures in their decision making process. Mostly I was asked to submit a written request for their review. Big stores need two to six weeks of lag time.

Among the 18 businesses I called, almost half of them responded with positive results. Some businesses didn’t return my calls or e-mails. But that’s fine. I didn’t expect a positive response every time.

I had a pleasant experience contacting the businesses, even in cases where I didn’t get any support.

The only frustrating thing that happened to me was I was transferred twice and put on hold twice which ended up in disconnection. I was not interested in calling back again. And, personally, I am not interested in visiting that business again either.

I am thankful to all who did respond to my requests. I was especially impressed with Olive Garden’s manager Tom. He was a quick decision-maker. And he also won my most generous award.

I spent a lot of time in making phone calls, writing and dropping off requests, and picking up gift certificates. But it’s worth the effort. I got better than expected results out of my efforts for the school.

I would like to say thank you to all the businesses that supported our celebration event. They are Shanghai Market, Pei Wei Asian Diner, Acupuncture Woodbury, Olive Garden, Trader Joe's, Applebee's (Valley Creek location), Kowalski’s Market and Noodles & Company.

My biggest thank you goes to Atlantic Buffet for allowing us to host this event. Without their generous support in the first place, I wouldn’t have thought about and done any fundraising for the event.

Thank you all for making our first celebration and fundraising event a fun and successful one. The prize drawing was definitely the most fun part. Kids and adults alike all enjoyed it.

I really appreciate your willingness to help and give back to the community. I am sure your support to the local community will be rewarded with more and loyal customers.

My first fundraising experience will certainly affect where I personally shop and do business in the future.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 2/20/2007]

There is no place like the library

2010-02-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

My favorite place in Woodbury, as well as in any other communities I have lived in the US, is the local public library. There is just no other place that means so much to me as the library. There is just no other place that can be as magic as the library.

My love affair with library and books didn't start until I was in my twenties. I was definitely a late bloomer.

Growing up in China in the sixties and seventies during the Cultural Revolution, reading and libraries were not an important part of my life. My parents were just doing their best to survive every day. They didn't have extra money to buy books. I didn't have children's books at home. They didn't read stories to me as a child.

As far as I can remember, I never even used a public library in China. I think at that time the municipal library in my hometown Suzhou was open to only a limited number of adults who had special permissions to use it. I didn't read as a child and had not experienced the joy of reading and visiting a library.

I was a hard working student in school and had the good fortune to go to college in China.

When I came to the United States in 1991 after 9 years of studying German, I couldn't understand and speak English. I felt totally lost in this new world. I didn't know what to do with my life at that time.

Fortunately I lived within the walking distance to the public library in Madison, Wisconsin. I went to the library several times a week and checked out one or two bags full of books every time. I started with books at the preschool level. I would read a few dozens of children's books a day.

The more I read, the more I hungered for books and knowledge. The more I read, the better I became in the language.

Gradually I could read more difficult books. I remember reading all the books in the "From Sea to Shining Sea" and "America the Beautiful" series and learning everything about all the 50 states in the country. I still have my reading notes today. My reading served two purposes, to learn the English language and to learn about this new country.

After reading and learning for over a year, my English was improved and I could communicate in an understandable way.

I found a library page position at the Madison Public Library to check in books. I looked forward to my work. As books passed through my hands, I felt a sense of excitement again and again. "Wow, here is another interesting book I want to read!"

I found more and more interesting books to read that I wouldn't find on my own. In fact I didn't know what I wanted to read. My way of finding books to read was just to browse the book shelves. Now I had a better way to get to the interesting books.

Other library users served as my reader advisors. Every workday I took a bag of finished books to work and at the end of the day my empty bag was again filled with books to take home.

As a library user and a part-time library worker, I grew to love library and reading. I dreamed of becoming a professional librarian and working full-time in the library.

I went to the library school and got my master's in library science at the university of Wisconsin-Madison. My dream became a reality.

Library was my heaven during the difficult times in my life when I didn't know what to do and who I was. Library provided me books and knowledge, and nurtured my hungry and lonely soul.

Now library is where I work for a living, and library is where I visit frequently with my two children for adventures and enjoyment. Both of my kids got their own library card before they could read.

I am glad my kids visit library more often than McDonald's and they read more books than eat French fries. I am so grateful they can grow up with lots of books and view library as an essential part of their life.

As an immigrant, I have come to love my adopted country. For me, one of the best things of living in the US is the easy and free access to the public library and the wonderful services it provides to everyone regardless of age, background and social status. In the library, we are all equal and knowledge is freely available to everyone who desires it.

Having been a library user and librarian for over 10 years, now my life doesn't feel complete and fulfilled without reading and library. I believe passionately in the library and what it can do for people. I love my profession as a librarian.

Library can change life. It has definitely changed my life. It still helps me to learn, to grow and to live every day.

I can't imagine what my life would be and what I would be doing today if there wasn't a public library.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 4/18/2007]

Music, No pain, no gain

2010-01-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

My son Andy started piano lesson in September 2004 when he was six years old. Less than a year later, my five year old daughter Amy began her lesson as well. Our family life has not been the same since then.

As any parent whose child takes music lessons knows, learning an instrument requires every day practice. Making the child practice can be a real challenge.

Every evening my kids have to practice piano. This is not something they are eager to do and willing to do on their own.

I always have to remind them, or to be more accurate, nag at them. Most times they comply. But there were days they didn’t cooperate and refused to play, especially at the beginning.

Andy said many times, he hated piano and didn’t want to practice. He begged me he wanted to quit. Besides complaints, many tears were shed.

As for my strong willed daughter, she didn’t like to be corrected. As soon as I corrected her mistakes, she refused to play.

I have to admit I am not someone with much patience. I can easily get frustrated and raise my voice when things don’t go smoothly.

During those difficult times, I was so frustrated, I wanted to quit too.

“Why do I spend so much money, time and energy in something that requires so much hard work and brings so much frustration into our life?” I questioned many times.

Then I have to remind myself again and again the reasons why I wanted them to learn piano in the first place. My hopes and goals for them are:

- Learn to play at least one instrument.

I grew up in poverty and didn't have an opportunity to learn any instrument. I wanted to give my children this opportunity when I can.

- Develop a love and understanding for music to enrich their life.

- Develop good study and work habits early on and learn that any success in life comes from hard work.

- Be able to delay gratification in pursuit of a greater goal and learn that there is no easy success and instant gratification in something truly great and wonderful.

- Learn patience and discipline through daily practice.

- Build confidence and self-esteem by doing something well.

- Learn that self worth comes from who they are and what they do, not from what they have. Giving them more experience is better than giving them more stuff in life.

- Use their free time to play music instead of playing computer games and watching TV.

- Do something creative to fill their time and life so they don't get bored and get into trouble when in their teenage years.

Although I still have to nag at them every day, Amy likes piano now. As for Andy, he doesn’t like it as much as Amy does. But over the last two years, we have established the daily routine that they have to play every day. They don’t question it any more. Often they just argue who plays first.

I told Andy he has to play until he graduates from high school. Then he will be old enough to make his own decision and he can quit if he wants to.

I found a good relationship between teacher and student is very important in a child’s attitude toward the music lesson. A loving and patient teacher can make a big difference in changing a child’s attitude and getting him interested and motivated in music lessons.

I am glad both of my kids have found wonderful teachers, Dr. Jo Anne Link and Dr. Joseph Zins from St. Paul. Since starting lessons with these two teachers a year ago, both Andy and Amy have a better attitude. There is less complaint and frustration. Life is getting easier during practice time.

One day last December, Andy came home from school and showed me proudly a certificate he got from his music teacher after playing piano in the class talent show. He said: “Mom, I kind of like piano now.”

That was music to my ear. It was something I had been waiting to hear.

“Hooray, let’s celebrate!” I was so happy.

I was glad I didn’t quit and I didn’t let him quit despite his many complaints and tears.

No short-term pain, no long-term gain. This is a truth in life.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 6/6/2007]

A family holiday tradition

2009-12-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

The holiday season has arrived sooner than I expected. Christmas is just around the corner.

Where ever I look, the ads, the signs and the displays, everything reminds me, it’s time to buy and buy more.

I like holidays and special days, whether they are Christmas or New Year, Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day, but I don’t like the over commercialization of these special days. I am not a person who likes to go shopping. Besides I think most of us already have more than we need. My kids get enough toys and stuff that I don’t feel like to buy more for them. Do I need to buy more just because everyone else is doing so?

My love language is definitely not gifts, but words.

My son was born in 1998. For his first Christmas eight years ago, I wrote the following to him:

Dear Andy:

You very first Christmas is just around the corner. In the holiday spirit of sharing and giving, gifts are shared and given. But instead giving you toys and clothes which you will outgrow in a blink of eyes and certainly will not remember anything at all, Mom is writing you this letter as your first holiday gift.

Mom hopes this letter as well as the ones to follow will become your treasured possession in the years to come. I promise you that every year until you are 18 years old I’ll write at least one letter documenting important events that happen to you during that year.

Another promise I want to make here is to contribute $500.00 or whatever the maximum amount allowed every year from your birth until you are 18 years old to your College Savings Account. The money will be used for your education in the future. It’s a long term investment.

Mom hopes you will become a well educated person who values education and life long learning.

When my daughter Amy came to the world one year later, I promised her the same things.

Two years ago, I did a Christmas treasure hunt for my kids. I hid little presents in different rooms for them to find. They loved it so much, they asked me to do it again last year, which I did.

For each of my two kids, I wrote 10 reasons why I love them on 10 cards in 10 different colors. On the other side of the cards I wrote the clue to find the next treasure. I used 10 different kinds of treats to go along with the cards. The number of treats corresponded to the number of reasons on the card.

So the card with reason number 1 was accompanied by 1 treat, the card with reason number 2 was accompanied by 2 treats, etc. The treats were edible things, like candies, chocolate and cookies, or money or books.

I spent many hours cutting the papers, writing two sets of cards with different love notes and clues so both kids could do the treasure hunt at the same time, but not together, finding treats, figuring out where to hide the treasures according to the clues so each of them could find only the treasures intended for them individually. I didn’t sleep much the night before Christmas Eve.

Andy and Amy had so much fun. And I took a lot of pictures.

Two months ago, Andy and Amy asked me, “Mommy, can we do the Christmas treasure hunt again this year?” I said “Sure.”

I haven’t figured out what to do yet. Just this year, I have done treasure hunt for them on birthday, on Easter and on Halloween. I have run out of ideas. I am afraid I wouldn’t be as creative as last Christmas.

Doing a treasure hunt is not as easy as buying a gift, wrapping it and putting it under the tree. But I would rather spend more time and efforts than spending more money. I know my kids probably will not remember what presents they get, but I am sure they will remember the fun they had on their treasure hunting.

I will try my best to keep the promises I made in my first letter to them and make the treasure hunt our holiday tradition.

Doing things with my children instead of buying excessive or expensive gifts for them is more important and meaningful to me. Letters and wonderful memories are much more precious to me than anything else.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 12/13/2006]

Being thankful

2009-11-28T13:19:00.000-08:00

One year ago, on Nov. 8, 2006, my first column appeared in this newspaper. I consider that an important milestone in my life.

It has been a wonderful year for me. When I think about and reflect on this past year, my heart is filled with gratitude and thanksgiving.

It has been said, and I really believe it, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” When I am ready to ask, believe and receive, opportunities will come my way.

I am thankful that God gives me the gift and passion to write. Each one of us is born with a certain gift. Some people are good performers, some are good athletes, some are good leaders, and some are good writers. It is our personal responsibility to discover what our God given gift is and what our passion is and then to use it for good.

I am thankful that even though English is not my native language, I have mastered it well enough to write and express myself and, more importantly, I have mustered up enough confidence to share my writing with people I don’t even know.

I know there are people out there who like to write or do something, but are afraid to do it and show it, because they think they are not good enough.

The truth is we can only be good enough and get better if we just do it and practice more every day. Please don’t let self-doubt and fear get in the way of doing what you love to do.

Sometimes I do wonder about whether people read my columns and what they think about them. It feels like I am sending out letters, but have no idea whether they are received and read or lost somewhere and end up in the trash.

Three weeks ago, while I was helping at the annual library book sale, two women recognized me through my name tag and asked me if I was a columnist for the Woodbury Bulletin. One of them said she read my columns every week.

I wished I had asked her some questions and get some face to face feedback.

I regretted that I missed the opportunity. But just that one casual question and the short comment meant a great deal to me. Thank you for letting me know that you do read my columns.

I am also thankful to all the readers of this newspaper, especially those who enjoy reading my columns so much or are so passionate about a topic I write that they take the time to write to me and give me feedback. Your comments and encouragement are very much appreciated.

I read every e-mail I receive and respond to every single message.

I am especially thankful to the individuals who write to me more than once. I can’t tell you how much your appreciation and encouragement have meant to me.

Recently, I received an e-mail from a reader who told me that she enjoyed reading my column topics regarding Chinese cultures.

She thanked me especially for writing the column about Weili Shen and her Acupuncture Woodbury clinic. She had been going to Shen for a few weeks for severe menopause symptoms and the treatment with acupuncture was working wonderfully.

“I wouldn’t have known about her except through your column. I’m recommending her to everyone I know. Thank you so much,” she wrote.

It is very gratifying for me to know that I have helped someone through my writing.

Writing this column in the past year has really been very energizing and rewarding for me. I am thankful in knowing that I can make a difference in someone's life and be an inspiration to someone.

I am very thankful for the Woodbury Bulletin’s managing editor, Bob Eighmy, for his trust in me and giving me the opportunity to write as a columnist for the newspaper. When I approached Bob over a year ago with a brief introduction about myself and asked him if I could write for Woodbury Bulletin on a regular basis, I only had two articles published in the newspaper at that time. He said yes without questioning my background and experience as a writer. I am thankful that he believed in me. Without his trust, I wouldn’t be here today.

I am looking forward to my second year writing for Woodbury Bulletin. I will keep writing what’s on my mind and from my heart to inform you and to inspire you.

May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and may your heart also be filled with gratitude.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 11/21/2007]

Amy's winning poems

2009-11-05T09:58:00.000-08:00

My daughter Amy caught the poetry bug when she just turned 9 in December 2008. She wrote her first poem as a Christmas present for me. Since then she has written 400 poems.

Amy's poem collection titled "Love, Laugh, Life : 100 Seleted Poems" won the first place in her age group at the 2009 Minnesota State Fair.

Amy’s dream is to be a writer and a poet.

Here are a few seleted poems by Amy.

Brother
I like my brother Andy
Because he is very handy
And he gives me candy
That’s why he’s so dandy.

Mother
You are the best Mother
To me and my brother
Above any other
So I would never trade you for
another.

Mother’s Day
I hope this is the best
Mother’s Day you’ve ever had.
And I hope you still love me
When I make you mad.
I know I sometimes can be bad,
But today I want to make you glad.

Dad
My Dad is very special to me
He loves me very much you see
He helps me with a lot of things
From business trip toys he bring
He always wants me to play
Look there he is on Christmas Day
Hooray!

Grandma
I know my grandma adores me
And my grandpa too
As you can see
They always take me to the zoo.

My baby doll
My baby doll is nice to hold
The one I have is getting old.
One eye came out and now instead
She has a dress made out of thread.
I take her everywhere I go
And tell her all the things I know.
I like the way she feels at night,
All snuggled up against me tight.

Walk
I went on a walk
All I did was talk.
On the walk I rode my bike
It’s one of the things I like.
Only my mom and I went on the walk
And all we did was talk talk talk.
After the walk we went to dine
It was my first walk in 2009.

Fire drill
At school we have a fire drill
So we go out on a little hill.
When we go out we get a chill
Even if we don't stay still.

Art
Whenever I do art
I do it from my heart
Since I am so smart
I got a head start.

Wish
The sky is getting gray
I wish it was a different day
My mom made me lay
I pray I get to play

Winning at Minnesota State Fair

2009-11-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

August 27, 2009 was a very exciting day for me. It seems I have never felt so excited like that in my life, at least not in a long time. I found out that my 9-year-old daughter Amy won big at the 2009 Minnesota State Fair competition.

This was the very first time she participated in the competition. I did expect Amy to win something, especially for her poems. To my surprise, she not only won the 1st place for her poem collection, but she also won the 1st place for her colored pencil drawing (Fruit), the 3rd place for her acrylic painting (Lions) and the 4th place for her water color painting (Parrot).

I have to say, I am most proud of her 1st place for the poem collection. She is really good at writing rhyming poems and wrote 400 poems since last December. I hope we can get her poems published some day.

My daughter made this one of the proudest mements and one of the best days in my life. It was a great day to celebrate and remember.

Local man introduces North America to China

2009-10-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

Scientist, author, and artist. Can one person be all three at the same time? I was happy to discover such a person right here in Woodbury.

Dr. Haiyan Zhang, an engineer at 3M and a well known vocal performer in Twin Cities Chinese community, is also the author of a new book “Thousands of Miles Across North America,” published in Chinese.

I first met Dr. Zhang and his wife during their performance at a 3M Chinese New Year party. They are both great singers. I got to know him more through my contact with his wife, Weili Shen, when I wrote about her acupuncture clinic, Acupuncture Woodbury.

During my conversations with them, I discovered that Dr. Zhang had many interesting stories and experiences. I was most fascinated by the book he wrote.

“The book consists of 20 stories and about 50 photos and sketches I had made. The stories are about my family’s travels across the U.S., Canada and Mexico. Most of the stories took place when I was in graduate school, taking my family on road trips in our 1985 Plymouth Horizon,” Zhang said. “The book is not a travel guide. It’s about family, life lessons and the beauty of this world.”

Zhang was born in Wuhan, China. He graduated from high school during the Cultural Revolution. Like almost all the high school graduates at that time, he went to work in the countryside as a farmer. For two years he did nothing but plant rice and trees. He then went to work at an iron and steel company for one year.

In 1977, when China restored its national unified college entrance exams, Zhang tested into college. He majored in physical chemistry and specialized in rare metal metallurgy. For his Masters Degree, he studied electrochemistry.

Zhang came to the U.S. in 1990 for his Ph. D. In 1995, he moved to the Twin Cities and has been working at 3M since.

“Although my entire career is about science and technology, I have always had a strong interest in literature and art.” Dr. Zhang said.

Even when Zhang was a child he liked Chinese and Western literature. He managed to read many books by authors such as Victor Hugo, Charles Dickens, Leo Tolstoy, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Honoré de Balzac. It took courage to do so because those books were forbidden in China at that time.

He became interested in drawing in his youth and later developed an interest in photography. His photos of nature have been featured in the 3M Company calendar twice.

“I wanted to write something to capture what I have seen and felt in my life.” Dr. Zhang told me, “However, with my busy work schedule, engineering projects, and time spent with family, I couldn’t find the time to sit down to write a book. Also, I did not know the right way to express what I wanted to say.”

Things started to change after his son went to college. At the same time, his wife was busy getting her clinic started.

“I suddenly found a lot more time. I wrote a short journal and matched it with photos and drawings. It was then that I realized how I would write my book,” he said.

Using spare time on evenings and weekends, Zhang finished his book in less than two years. A publishing company in China decided to publish it.

As for writing another book, Dr. Zhang thinks it is a possibility.

“I have traveled to over 30 states in the U.S. and I only wrote about half of them. I might write about my experiences in the rest of the states in my next book if people enjoyed reading my first one,” Zhang said.

I know so far he has received very positive comments. His book is available in various stores in China, and even a Chinese bookstore in St. Paul. I also know he doesn’t write to make money, only to fulfill his interests. In fact, the price barely covers the cost of printing and shipping.

I am looking forward to hearing about Dr. Zhang’s second book.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 01/09/2008]

Chinese medicine - Acupuncture

2009-10-29T20:41:00.000-07:00

Acupuncture is one of the main forms of treatment in traditional Chinese medicine. Today, in most western cultures it is considered a "new alternative" medicine.

In reality, it has been practiced in China for more than 2,000 years (some think it has been around for 4,000 years) and has proven to be effective over thousands of years.

Acupuncture involves the use of thin, painless needles that are inserted in the body at very specific points to influence physiological functioning of the body.

It is based on the principal that the world is full of energy or life force called “Chi” or “Qi.”

Chi is the essential energies of life, including its spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects. Chi flows through everything in life, including the human body.

A person's health is influenced by the flow of Chi in the body. When the opposing forces of yin and yang are in harmongy, Chi flows freely within the body and a person is healthy. If the flow of Chi is insufficient, unbalanced or interrupted, illness may occur. The purpose of acupuncture is to facilitate the even circulation of Chi.

Whether or not the traditional explanation of Acupuncture is relevant today, one thing is indisputable: acupuncture works.

I don’t have any personal experience with acupuncture, but I had a family member who did. For many years, my late grandmother had trigeminal neuralgia, which caused her excruciating pain. Then my mother took her to a traditional Chinese medicine hospital.

After her acupuncture treatment, her pain was gone forever. So, I believe the power and benefits of acupuncture as an alternative medicine.

I am glad a new acupuncture clinic, Acupuncture Woodbury, opened recently in this community by Ms. Weili Shen, a licensed acupuncturist.

Shen studied Western and Chinese Medicine in the Health School of Tongji Medical University, Wuhan, China. She has worked in a Chinese hospital for over ten years.

She came to the United States in 1991 and became an American citizen in 2001. She moved to Minnesota from Colorado in 1995, when her husband was hired by 3M. She further studied acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine for three years and obtained a Master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Now, she holds Diplomat in Acupuncture by National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, USA and License for acupuncture by the Minnesota Board of Medical Practice.

“Acupuncture Woodbury is one of the premier Twin Cities acupunctural clinics, a center of excellence in acupuncture and Chinese traditional medicine,” Shen said. “The clinic offers a wide variety of acupunctural health care services for all ages, for ailments ranging from back pain to nicotine addiction.”

Shen had treated many patients before she opened her own clinic. The patients with various problems like facial paralysis, migraines, depression, joint pains, high blood pressure and diabetes have been treated with satisfied results.

“The beauty of the treatment lies in its inherent ability to allow the body to heal itself. Since acupuncture is a natural way of promoting one’s body to self-adjust, it does not carry the side effects and risks of many modern remedies,” Shen said.

Acupuncture has been used to treat many medical problems, including:

• Musculo-Skeletal disorders: Arthritis, automobile injuries, sports injuries, tennis elbow, carpal tunnel syndrome, back pain, bursitis, shoulder pain, sprains, still neck and tendonitis

• Psychiatric disorders: Anxiety, depression, insomnia, stress, poor memory, schizophrenia, psychoneurosis, hysteria and eating disorders

• Gastrointestinal disorders: Hiccups, inflammation of the stomach, large intestine, small intestine, gall bladder and pancreas, dysentery and constipation

• Endocrine disorders: Diabetes, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, obesity and adrenal problems

• Immune disorders: Chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome

• Neurological disorders: Migraines, trigeminal neuralgia, facial paralysis, peripheral neuropathy, tinnitus, sciatica, epilepsy, erythromelalgia, neuralgia, cerebral palsy, Bell’s palsy and multiple sclerosis

• Connective tissue disorders: Lupus erythematosus, scleroderma and rheumatoid arthritis

• Gynecological conditions: Dysmenorrhea, irregular menstruation, PMS, breast problems, endometriosis, ovarian/cervical/vaginal problems, uterine prolapse, postpartum disorders, menopause and infertility

• Dermatological conditions: Acne, eczema, herpes and psoriasis

• Addictions: Sugar, nicotine, cigarette, coffee, recreational drugs and medication alcohol

• Supportive therapy: Cancer support treatment and post-surgical recovery

At Acupuncture Woodbury, other Chinese Medicine treatments may also be used if needed.

The examples are Tuina, a Chinese therapeutic massage; Cupping, suctioning using a medicinal jar to enhance energy flow; Electric Stimulation, stimulating vital points on the body using a specially-made instrument; Auricular Therapy, stimulating points on the ear that have unique relationships with the body to treat diseases; and Moxiustion, burning moxa wool on vita points on the body to warm energy pathway.

Shen offers six tracks of treatments at Acupuncture Woodbury. They are anti-aging, pain alleviation, stress balancing, weight regulation, skin rejuvenation and stroke and surgery rehabilitation.

The clinic is located at 7582 Currell Boulevard, Suite 215, Woodbury, across the street from Woodbury Post Office.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, visit www.acupuncturewoodbury.com or call (651) 789-0402.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 09/12/2007]

More healthy lunch, less messy lunchroom

2009-08-31T21:24:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 09/16/2009

As another school year has started, many parents start thinking about school lunch and packing lunches for their kids.

Are my kids eating healthy food at school? Is it better to have school lunch or bring lunch from home? Should I let them eat doubles or triples or should I set a limit?

An article that appeared in the Aug. 12 issue of the Woodbury Bulletin titled “More healthful school lunches moving ahead” also made me think about those questions.

I was glad to know that more healthy choices, more fresh and fewer processed food will be offered at our new middle schools. I hope the Farmer’s Market lunch menioned in the article will be expanded to both elementary and high schools next year.

Giving students choices of healthy and unhealthy food, I think the majority of kids will choose unhealthy food. I know my kids will, even though we eat mostly healthy food and not processed food at home.

So the ideal is not just more healthy food choices, but also fewer choices or no choices of unhealthy food in schools. This is difficult if not impossible to achieve, because Our standard American diet is a SAD, unhealthy one.

In my opinion, it is not only our school’s responsibility to provide our kids with healthy food, it’s also, or more importantly so, the responsibility of each family and the society as a whole to help our kids build healthy eating habits.

I think parents should pay attention to their kids’ lunch accounts and make their kids responsible for their spending. Instead of complaining to the schools that their kids spend too much money on school lunch, they can limit their kids’ spending to one lunch, and not allow doubles or triples.

Once I found out that my daughter spent extra money on dessert, I told her no more doubles or extras. Whenever she questions me why she can’t have seconds or extras like some of her friends, I tell her, she can always get more vegetables or fruit for free if she needs more food. I know well that she can’t usually finish everything the first round.

This is a problem that concerns me - the messy and wasteful behavior in the school lunch rooms.

On a few occasions I visited my kids during lunch, I was not pleased to see what’s going on. Some kids played with food, some kids, including my daughter, ate only a few bites of food and had a few sips of milk or juice, then threw more food away than they consumed.

Since I grew up with the teaching of eating everything on your plate and not wasting food, I don’t tolerate my kids’ wasteful behavior. I make sure that they eat everything they have on their plates. But I can’t control what they do at school.

The lunchroom scene was pretty heartening for me. What a waste and what a mess!

I hate to see food go to waste and money go down the drainage. I think most parents will agree. But some of them might just not know what is going on in the school lunch room.

There are also parents who don't care how much their kids spend and how much is wasted. These kids can purchase whatever they want, as much as they want.

The fact is in our society kids are very spoiled. Many live a life of prosperity and abundance; they don’t know hunger and they don’t know how to value what they have.

As a parent, I encourage our kids to bring lunch from home. But that remains a real challenge.

When my son first started school, he brought lunch from home every day for the whole kindergarten year. Then when he started the 1st grade, he no longer wanted to bring lunch from home. He said most kids eat school lunch. He wanted school lunch too.

If more kids bring lunch from home, that might encourage other kids to do the same.

From the school side, more education and closer monitoring would be helpful.

We need to remind our kids to bring or purchase in the cafeteria only what they will eat, no more and no waste. When bringing lunch from home, use unpackaged food (an apple) rather than packaged food (a cup of applesauce) if possible, and pack lunch in re-usable containers, rather than disposable items.

As we focus on providing more healthy lunch, let’s not forget to also teach our kids to be resourceful with our food and mindful with our environment, and to keep the lunchroom from becoming a waste site.

Qin Tang can be contacted at quin_tang@yahoo.com

Remembering my favorite teacher

2009-07-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

06/05/2009

When my son Andy and daughter Amy came home on the last day of school, I was more curious than usual to find out how the last day went.

“Too bad school is over. Fifth grade is my best year ever. I had so much fun,” Andy commented.

“How did you and all students say goodbye to the teachers?” I asked.

“The teachers lined up and watched us get on the school bus and leave.”

“Did anyone cry?”

“Everyone in my class gave our teacher a hug. Some teachers almost cried.”

Thankful for the wonderful teachers my kids had in school, I couldn’t help but thinking about my own teachers, especially my favorite teacher in high school almost 30 years ago.

The path of my life, starting from my hometown Suzhou to Beijing, the Capitol of China, to the university of Heidelberg in Germany, and then to the Untied States, is nothing but a miracle in my mind, thanks largely to my high school English Teacher Mr. XuangGuang Sheng.

In high school, I was very interested in learning foreign languages. My dream was to pass the national entrance exam and to go to one of the best universities in the country for studying English.

However, the high school I went to in my neighborhood was not the best in town. Passing the national entrance exam in China requires enormous dedication, efforts and preparation from students, parents and teachers. Staying in my own high school would mean I had no chance to fulfill my dream.

It so happened that one day I heard from a friend mentioning a very unique English Teacher at a different high school. His students had excellent exam results.

One year before my entrance exam to college, my mother, who was a math teacher in my own high school, talked the school administration into approving my transfer.

After an interview with Mr. Sheng, he also agreed to accept me in his class. Apparently I had impressed him as a good and sincere student.

Mr. Sheng was indeed very special and unique in many different ways.

He went to school very early, an hour or two before the regular class started, and he didn’t leave the classroom until every student was gone, usually 8 or 9 o’clock in the evening.

Since many students didn’t have quiet space for study at home, they often went to school to study early in the morning or after dinner in the evening. Mr. Sheng was always there ready to help everyone.

Unlike other teachers, he had his desk in the classroom where he spent more time with the students than at his other desk in the teachers’ office.

Mr. Sheng had home visit at least once every semester for every student (we had about 50 students in one class). He kept parents informed about their child at school. And he got to know the families through home visits.

Mr. Sheng was not only a unique teacher, but also a somewhat strange and mysterious person in my young eyes.

He was not married and had no children. That was very unusual in China at that time. He ran several miles early in the morning from his home to the school while holding his bicycle in hand. He wore just a shirt even in cold winter.

During his home visits with students, he didn’t even drink a cup of tea that was usually offered to the guests in China. Yet when students visited him at his home, he offered them treats.

When Mr. Sheng was not at the school, he often tutored students at home who were referred to him by friends and friends of friends. He didn’t have the heart to refuse any young person who was eager to learn. His room was full of books, mostly old books, and his necessary furniture was all very old and worn out.

He spent his own meager salary on English books, note books, pencils or other supplies and gave them to good students weekly as incentive for their hard work as shown on the weekly test results, while he never accepted any gifts from any students or parents for any reason. He spent more on his students than on himself.

His devotion to his students and his selfless acts towards others were incredible, unreal and hard for me to understand at that time. His world seemed like a mystery to me.

Thanks to Mr. Sheng’s teaching and devotion during that one year, and my own hard work, I was able to pass the entrance exam.

The exam was a big annual event in China, because it was the turning point in many young people’s lives. My score was high so I was accepted by the Beijing Foreign Studies University, the best known university in China for its foreign language programs.

Most of the graduates from this university hold positions as diplomats, foreign correspondents, and language instructors at the universities or dealing with foreign affairs in other government organizations. I have an older cousin who graduated from the same university. He worked for the UN in New York and Geneva, Switzerland for many years. It was certainly a dream come true for me.

I was very grateful for Mr. Sheng, yet he never took any credit for anything his students achieved. He always said humbly, “It is due to your own hard work and talent.”

At the age of 17, I left Suzhou for Beijing in 1981. With the long twenty hour plus train ride to Beijing, a new chapter of my life began.

I studied German at the Beijing Foreign Studies University. Only about 40 students were accepted during that time every year. English was my first choice, but due to high demand, there was not enough space.

After graduation I got a position at Chinese Central Television to help start a German Language program. A German program was to be added to the existing programs. At that time three languages, English, Japanese and French, were offered on the TV and were very popular. China was just starting to open its door to the western countries, and after so many years of isolation, people were eager to know more about other countries.

One year later I went to Heidelberg, Germany to further my studies on a scholarship from the German Academic Exchange Program.

After almost of 10 years of studying German, fate brought me to the United States.

Meanwhile I had forgotten my English learned in high school and had to start all over again, but I had never forgotten Mr. Sheng.

In fact, I kept in touch with him till he passed away a few years ago. Whenever I sent him letters or cards, he always wrote me back. His handwritten letters could be more than 10 pages long.

Living in Germany and the US opened my eyes for things I was not aware of in China as a young person. One of them was the Christian faith.

Years later, when I heard that Mr. Sheng was a Christian and he had graduated from a university in my home town that was founded by the American Christians, the mystery about him was solved. He had simply lived a real Christian life, though he never talked about his faith with his students, because religion was verboten and a taboo. People could go to prison for that.

My hometown Suzhou near Shanghai is a famous city known in China as “paradise on earth.” Suzhou is famous for beautiful gardens and silk embroidery. When I think of my hometown and the 17 years I spent there, Mr. Sheng usually comes to my mind. Even though he was my English Teacher for only one year, the impact he had on my life was enough for me to remember him forever. My admiration and respect for him can only grow as time goes by. Just as his name in Chinese means, Shining Light, he had certainly lighted my life and had shined some light in a not so bright world.

I always wanted to write an article about my favorite teacher. Today, the last day of my kids’ school rekindles that idea.

On this very same day, I finished reading a book a friend recommended me out of blue recently, titled “When God winks at you.” It is about the power of coincidence and how extraordinary little events in your life happen for a reason.

Now I think back about my favorite teacher and my life, I know God has winked at me many times.

Let this article serve as a remembrance to my favorite teacher and a thank-you to all teachers out there.

Please remember, whatever you do, big or little things, you can touch and change lives in ways you might not even know.

As you say good-bye to your students who are leaving you after spending almost a year together and you can’t help shed a few tears, please know, there might be former students of yours who shed a few tears every time they think about you and how you have impacted their lives.

I am one of these former students.

Selected VBS for summer fun

2009-06-03T21:23:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 06/03/2009

For families who are interested in having their kids attending Vacation Bible School this summer, I have compiled a list of VBS offered by local churches again this year as I did in the last couple of years.

Included are registration and contact information, VBS date, theme, age and fee requirements.

This is not a comprehensive list. It only includes VBS that I am aware of. Please contact the individual church directly for any questions and for complete information.

“Crocodile Dock” is the most popular theme this year. The majority of VBS listed here take place during the third week in June, a few in July and only one in August. Have a fun and safe summer!

• Woodbury Church of Christ, 4920 Woodbury Drive, Woodbury MN 55129

Register online at www.woodburychurch.org

(651) 459-1869

Monday-Friday, June 15-19, 9 a.m. to noon, "Crocodile Dock,"ages 4-(entering) sixth grade, Free

• Woodbury Community Church, 2975 Pioneer Drive, Woodbury 55125

Register online at www.wccmn.org, (651) 739-1427

Monday-Friday, June 15-19, 9 a.m.-noon

“Crocodile Dock,” K-sixth grade ( in the Fall), Free

• St. John Lutheran Church, 1975 St. John's Drive, Woodbury, MN 55129

http://stjohnwoodbury.org/VBS2009.htm

Return the registration form to the church office

(651) 436-6621 or e-mail stjohn@stjohnwoodbury.org

Monday-Thursday, June 15-18, 9 a.m.-noon (Preschool-Kindergarten), 9 a.m.-3 p.m. (Grades 1-6)

Friday, June 19, 9 a.m.-noon (Preschool-Grade 6), “Gadget’s Garage” (Preschool)

“Opposite Way” (K-6th grade)

Ages 3 (by June 1) - (entering) sixth grade, $15/child (preschool-kindergarten) $20/child (grades 1-6) ($40 family maximum)

• Woodbury Lutheran Church, 7380 Afton Road, Woodbury, MN 55125

Register online at www.woodburylutheran.org/ministries/children/vbs

(651) 739-5144

Monday-Thursday, June 15-18 Choose between morning session 9:30-12:00 or afternoon session (12:30-3 p.m.)

“Gadget's Garage” (preschool), ages 3-current Kindergarten (Must be 3 years old by Sept. 1, 2008), Free

Monday-Thursday, July 13-16, 9 a.m.-noon

“SportsLife Camp” (elementary). 1st-6th grade (completed June 2009), $35 ($45 after June 1)

• King of Kings Lutheran Church, 1583 Radio Drive, Woodbury, MN 55125

www.kingofkingswoodburymn.org

Check the summer programs for more information about other camps http://o.b5z.net/i/u/6123671/i/KofK_08CampFlyr.pdf

(651) 738-3110 or e-mail office@kingofkingswdby.org

VBS Session 1: June 15-19, 9-11:30 a.m., Session 2: June 15-19, 1-3:30 p.m.

"Crocodile Dock," Aages 4 (by 9/1/2009)-3rd grade, $30

Monday-Thursday, July 6-9, 9 a.m.-noon, SportsLife Camp, Completed 1st-4th grade, $72

• St. Peter Lutheran Church, 880 Neal Ave. S., Afton, MN 55001

www.stpeterafton.org

Contact Shannon Hecksel at shecksel@stpeterafton.org or (651) 436-3357

Monday-Friday, June 15-19, 9 a.m. -noon

“Gadget’s Garage”

Preschool-4th grade

Free (lunch included)

• Spirit of Life Bible Church, 690 Commerce Drive, Woodbury, MN 55125

Register online at http://www.SpiritOfLifeBibleChurch.org (651) 731-1900

Tuesday-Friday, June 16-19, 9:30-12:30

“Son Rock,” K-Grade 6, Free

• Resurrection Lutheran Church, 9925 Bailey Road, Woodbury MN 55129

www.resurrection-woodbury.org/

Complete registration form (available at church)

(651) 730-1000

Monday-Thursday, June 22-25, 9:30 a.m.-noon

"Crocodile Dock,” Thursday night closing celebration

Ages 3-4th grade (completed) $30 per child ($75 family maximum)

Monday-Thursday, July 6-9, 9 a.m.-noon

“SportsLife Camp,” Ages 6-11, $50 ($55 for registrations after June 28), Further info at www.sportslifecamps.com

• Woodbury United Methodist Church, 7465 Steepleview Road, Woodbury, MN 55125

www.woodburyumc.org

Check out the summer adventures brochure online for info about other camps

(651) 738-0305

Monday-Friday, June 22-26, 9 a.m.-noon

“Camp Edge,” ages 3-5th Grade, $50, Monday-Friday, July 13-17, 9:30-3:00

Lake Elmo Day Camp: "A Walk With Wesley"

Grades 1st -5th (as of Fall 2009), $135

• Christ Episcopal Church, 7305 Afton Road, Woodbury, MN 55125

www.christchurch-woodbury.org

Download and return forms and fee to the office, registration due Monday, June 15

(651) 735-8790

Monday-Thursday, July 6-9, 9-11:30 a.m.

Family Night Potluck Picnic Thursday, July 9, 5:30-8 p.m.

"Son Rock," ages 3-9

$25 per child ($50 family maximum)

• Grace of God Lutheran Church, 420 Hayward Ave, Oakdale, MN 55128

Register online at www.graceofgodlutheran.com

(651) 730-4900

Monday-Friday, July 13-17, 9-11:30 a.m.

“Rome,” ages 4-6th grade

$15 per child (suggested donation)

• Guardian Angels, 8260 Hudson Boulevard, Oakdale, MN 55128

www.guardian-angels.org/education/childrenyouth/vbs/

Registrations will be closed when full or June 30th whichever comes first.

(651) 738-2223

Monday-Friday, July 27-31, 9:00-12:00

“Studio Go! Game Show”

Tuesday and Thursday evening, July 28 and July 30, 6-8:30 p.m.

Primetime Studio Go!, ages 4-12, $25

• Woodbury Baptist Church, 6695 Upper Afton Road, Woodbury, MN 55125

www.woodburybaptist.org/

(651) 738-7700

Sunday-Thursday, Aug. 2-6, 5:30-8 p.m.

"Crocodile Dock,"Each evening will begin at 5:30 p.m. with a supper.

Ages 4-5th grade, free

Turning a crisis into opportunity

2009-05-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Qin Tang
Woodbury Bulletin - 05/13/2009

In Chinese, the word crisis is made up of two characters: danger and opportunity.

For Katie Dailey of Woodbury, the crisis she experienced in 2008 literally means "danger" and "opportunity." She is a living example of turning a crisis into an opportunity.

Dailey grew up in Shanghai, China. She attended Fudan University, a prestigious university in China. In 1990 Dailey came to the United States for her master’s degree in electrical engineering.

After graduating from South Dakota State University, Dailey started a long and successful career with American Express, Imation, Kodak and 3M as a technical leader.

Unfortunately, Dailey was laid off from 3M after three years working there.

One December morning in 2008, after she walked into the office, she got the unexpected layoff notice.

“It was a total shock for me. I started crying and couldn’t go back to my office again.”

Dailey recalls the tough time that followed. She had to do some soul-searching.

“What do you like to do?”

“What are you passionate about?”

Dailey’s husband and friends asked her these questions and encouraged her to do something she loves.

The Daileys loves to travel. They have been to almost all 50 states in the U.S.

“Spring break and summer are my family’s favorite time of the year," Dailey said. "My family usually flies to a city in a state and then we rent a car. We drive through the state and visit every state park in the state.”

They have also been to Canada and other countries in Europe and Asia.

With her passion for travel, and with her family and friends’ support, Dailey was able to turn her crisis into this opportunity of starting her own travel agent business. She followed her heart’s desire to find a second career.

“It is my passion to travel. It is also my passion to share the wonderful Chinese culture and language with people around the world," she said. "I believe in my service to those people who want to travel to China to experience the fascinating Chinese culture firsthand.”

Dailey became the owner and founder of Dailey Travel LLC, a business that specializes in travel to China, but also covers Asia and the United States. It is a full-service travel agent.

“I have wanted to help young people see China for some time,” Dailey said. “Now I have the opportunity to do that. My first student summer trip to China is this July 21 to 30. It will be a great opportunity for junior high and senior high students to learn about China.”

In addition to junior high and senior high student tours, Dailey Travel also offers culture enrichment and exploration tour, language and education tour, special interest tour, customized college campus visit tour, and senior, retiree or church group tour.

Entrepreneurship requires vision, leadership, persistence, sincere desire to help people, a lot of networking, and hard work. Dailey has all that to make her business successful.

Dailey can feel the pain of people who have lost their jobs. She hopes others who are in a crisis now can also find their "opportunity" in a time of "danger," and turning danger into opportunity.

“I believe when God closes a door, He opens a window.”

Being a new-born Christian, Dailey knew where to draw her strength from.

With only $40 dollar in her pocket and the first time on an airplane, Dailey came to the United States in search of a better education and ultimately a better life, and she has found it.

“I have many crises in my life, but I made through them all. You just got to believe in yourself and never give up.”

Dailey met her husband in South Dakota. They have three sons and have lived in Woodbury for 11 years.

For special deals, events and seminars offered by Dailey Travel, visit www.daileytravelservice.com or contact Katie Dailey at (651) 323-0101 or e-mail Dailey@daileytravelservice.com.

Reach out and serve

2009-04-30T20:58:00.001-07:00

We have about 30 churches in Woodbury. They come in all shapes and sizes, big and small, old and new, and in a number of denominations.

While the old churches have decades of history behind them, new ones keep popping up here and there. While the established churches have their own big buildings, the new ones have to use space in schools, the golf course clubhouse or at Central Park as meeting places.

Among the many churches in Woodbury, the one I admire most is Woodbury Lutheran Church, because it does a wonderful job of reaching out and serving the community. I feel a strong personal connection to it as well, even though it’s not my home church.

My daughter went to WLC’s half-day preschool for a few months. I really liked it, but I had to switch her to a full-day daycare center because I couldn’t pick her up during the middle of the day.

My kids had attended Vacation Bible School at WLC a couple of times.

WLC has various ministries to serve its members and the general public. I have personally benefited from its services.

The Career Transition Connection is a ministry that offers advice and support for job seekers. The group meets twice a month. I was there once for a presentation.

I remember another time I went to its “Celebrate Recovery” meeting to hear radio show host Kim Jeffries’ testimony. I like to listen to her "Along the Way" radio program on KTIS AM 900 at noon. When I learned that she would give a testimony, I wanted to hear that and meet her in person.

Most recently, just over a week ago on a Saturday morning, I was at WLC for the Life Planning Ministry event "Longing for simple living.” It provided great teaching and fun activity. I really enjoyed the sessions.

WLC has many more ministries than I just mentioned. It has a ministry to support people with disabilities, as well as Bible Study Fellowship classes for women and MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) for moms.

WLC is a community gathering place. It’s a church that truly opens its heart and door and welcomes everyone in the community. It provides its space to many organizations in their effort to reach out to the community.

For a few years, the Woodbury Chinese Church used the space at WLC for its monthly fellowship. I went to the fellowship meeting many times.

WLC regularly hosts big events sponsored by the South Washington County School District Community Education. I attended a few SAFE (School Age Family Education) presentations myself.

Many people in our area know of or have heard about the Christian Cupboard in Woodbury. For more than two decades, WLC has been a sponsor and providing space for this non-profit organization to provide food and other basic items to those in need.

The service that WLC offers has reached far beyond the borders of Woodbury. Many hurricane recovery mission trips were organized by WLC to help rebuild Ocean Springs, Miss. after Hurricane Katrina.

I am sure WLC is growing and thriving because it is deeply rooted in the community and has a close touch with the public, because it has a giving and serving attitude. When it gives and serves our community in so many ways, it will naturally attract more people to its building and services.

I hope more churches will do what WLC has been doing, opening their hearts and doors wide. Mission work doesn’t have to be done only in other countries and far away places. You can do a lot of mission work right here in your own community.

Every week when I read Woodbury Bulletin, I can usually find something that WLC offers to the public. If your church has a special program and event, put that information in the paper and invite the public to come. If what you do fills the needs of others, they will show up.

In my opinion, WLC is the best church in Woodbury. I feel no other church has done as much for the community as WLC. The church has some wonderful and talented members who love to serve the Lord and others.

For all the things you have done for the community and for me personally, I would like to say a heartfelt thank you to WLC. You set a great example for other churches to follow.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 03/05/2008]

Delay gratification for more appreciation

2009-04-30T20:56:00.000-07:00

When my kids go shopping with me, I usually don’t buy them things they want.

They’ve known from the time they were toddlers that when Mom says “No,” she means it. They might have asked for something, but they didn’t throw a fit and cry when they didn’t get what they wanted.

Recently, I went to a department store with my kids. This time, for a very good reason, I agreed to give them each a small amount of money to buy something they wanted.

Soon after we entered the store, my nine-year-old son quickly disappeared into the toy department. A few minutes later, he reappeared with a $30 Lego set and a $10 toy gun in his hands and put them in the shopping cart.

“Andy, why do you need another Lego set? You already have too many Legos at home,” I said. “I don’t want you to have another gun. And besides, you can’t buy these with the amount of money I gave you.”

My son responded, “I know Mom, I can use my own money.”

I countered with, “Sorry, you can’t buy them even with your own money. We can consider it when it’s your birthday. Please put them back.”

My son took the two items out of the cart and put them back. Then with tears in his eyes, he walked away from me.

I called his name a couple of times to ask him back, but he kept walking.

In that moment, I felt a little guilty. I almost wanted to call him back to allow him to buy the items with his own money. But I let it go instead.

Later, Andy picked two small packs of candy for himself. As we walked out of the store, I still felt uneasy. I knew I did the right thing, but my heart felt heavy.

Then out of my son’s mouth came the familiar sentence: “Mom, thank you for bringing us here.”

What a relief when I heard my son saying that. The same expression sounded sweeter now than just a few hours ago when he said: “Mom, thank you for bringing us to the library.”

I was relieved because my son proved what I knew without a doubt that I didn’t do him any harm by not giving him what he wanted. I didn’t harm his self-esteem by depriving him of things he wanted. Quite the contrary, I have taught him the lesson of discipline and delayed gratification.

As the result, my kids are more appreciative of what I do buy or do for them.

Whenever I buy them something, it can be as little as an ice cream cone in the Central Park, they never forget to say: “Mom, thank you for buying this for us.”

Whenever I bring my kids somewhere, whether it’s the library, a store, or their piano lesson, they usually say, “Mom, thank you for bringing us.” Every day after I make dinner, they say, “Mom, thank you for making dinner.”

It warms my heart every time I hear them saying that.

My children have learned to be savers, not compulsive spenders.

Not long ago, when my son had $125 from allowance and holidays, he asked me to deposit $100 into his saving account for him. Then for my birthday, he gave me $20 as a present. He usually brings one dollar to church every week without being reminded. I am very proud of him for being a saver and giver.

I don’t want my kids to have the instant gratification mentality which is so prevalent in our society.

Instant gratification has affected every aspects of our modern life. We want something now and quickly. We don't have time, patience and discipline to wait for something.

In our everyday busy life, often we only have time for drive-through fast food. We don't have time and patience to make a meal at home that is healthier for our body.

We use “the plastic” to buy things we can’t afford but we want now. We can worry about payment later. The same thing happens to our reading habit.

We only have a few minutes here and there to read some news and a few articles, but don't have the time and patience to read a book and really enjoy it.

Here is the truth we probably all know in our mind. The easier for you to get something, the less valuable it means to you and the less you appreciate it. The harder for you to get something, the more valuable it means to you and the more you treasure and appreciate it. The more we want, the more we have, the less we value.

If you learn to delay gratification, you will naturally have a better attitude of gratitude.

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 03/12/2008]

No April Fool’s joke

2009-04-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 04/01/2009

Since I started writing this column in November 2006, I have not missed a single week’s publication.

I have enjoyed writing every week, thinking about topics to write about and sharing some thoughts with you.

But this column marks the end of my regular column writing.

I wish this were an April Fool’s joke, but it is not.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will no longer write every week as I have been doing.

In life, we all experience things that are not in our own control.

Right now, we are living in a difficult time. Some of you have lost your jobs — or even worse, your houses — due to circumstances out of your control.

Don’t you wish it were an April Fool’s joke, too?

But in reality, when something happens to us that is out of our control, we just have to accept it, put our energy on things where we can have control and influence, and then move on.

Stephen Covey, in his international bestseller “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” talks about being proactive as habit No. 1 of highly-effective people.

I like his theory of proactive and reactive people, circle of concern and circle of influence.

Reactive people are affected and driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions and by their environment.

Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli but their response to it is a value-based choice or response.

We all have concerns, those who are reactive focus their energy on things beyond their control. They maintain an attitude of victimization and blame.

By contrast, proactive people focus on what they can do, on what they can influence.

Covey uses a model to illustrate the difference between what concerns us and what we have influence over. He describes two circles.

The first is our circle of concern. The second, smaller, circle is our circle of influence. These are the concerns we have control over either directly or indirectly. Our circle of influence is narrower than our circle of concern, and many of our concerns fall outside our circle of influence.

It is tempting to focus our energy on things in life that concern us. We tend to worry and complain, get frustrated and irritated.

But if we have no control and influence over them, that time and energy are wasted. They cannot be used to change areas of concern over which we do have control and influence.

Reactive people focus on everything they're concerned with whether they can influence it or not. They are concerned, but feeling helpless.

Proactive people react differently. They focus on their circle of influence, on what they want to be and what they want to become.

They're actively pursuing the enlargement of their circle of influence. This way, they shape the circumstances instead of complaining about them.

If we want to bring about a change in something that concerns us, we need to focus our energy on concerns that are within our circle of influence. That way we will increase our capacity for influence.

In 2003, I was laid off due to circumstance beyond my control or my supervisor’s control. Because I had the lowest seniority in my job classification, someone in another office who was laid off bumped me out of my position.

I was not happy about the situation, but I was not overly concerned, because there was nothing I could do about it.

My then-supervisor went out of his way to find a temporary assignment for me that enabled me to still stay and work in my office. Then within two months, I was officially hired back by the same employer and got my job back.

Yes, being laid off was in my circle of concern, but being hired back was in my circle of influence.

Had I been a difficult employee, I am sure my supervisor would have been happy to get rid of me at that time. Had I been an average employee, my supervisor might not have made the effort to hire me back.

His decision and effort to hire me back was certainly influenced by me, or by my performance.

Yes, we don’t have to become the powerless victim of circumstances. We can be proactive to increase our direct or indirect control within our circle of influence.

For people who are in difficult circumstances at this economically challenging time, I hope you will focus your time and energy on your circle of influence and bring about a positive change in your life.

As for myself, even though I will no longer write every week for Woodbury Bulletin in the future, I might still write occasionally for you.

However, one thing is for sure, I will keep writing, if not for others, then at least for myself.

Because being a writer is my passion and my dream.

Time of change coming

2009-03-25T17:47:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 03/25/2009

My son started kindergarten when Liberty Ridge Elementary opened in 2003. It was a brand new school. Two years later, my daughter became a kindergartener at the same school.

We like the school and the staff. Liberty Ridge is the only school we know. And it is the closest school to our home.

We couldn’t be happier than we are.

When District 833’s school board made the final decision to change the school attendance boundary last April, the result meant my daughter will have to move to Middleton Elementary School as a fourth-grader.

My son will graduate from the elementary school this year and move on to Lake Junior High School, soon to be Lake Middle School. But my daughter still has two more years to go. So she has to move to a different school.

Change is hard for most people.

I remember the series of articles carried in the Woodbury Bulletin about the issue.

There were neighborhood petitions to have their kids go to a different school or stay in the same school.

There were letters to the editors from readers who expressed their opinions as to which plan should be the best.

There were heated debates. There was even a lawsuit.

Everyone had valid points.

I don’t see why kids have to be bused past several schools to get to their new ones. I wish kids living in the same neighborhood didn’t have to be split up and go to different schools.

But I can also understand the concern and resistance parents had whose kids have to change to a different school.

People often buy houses in a certain area because they like a particular school. It’s hard for them to accept the change.

I know people who like Liberty Ridge and don’t want to go to a different school. But I also know people who like Middleton or Red Rock and don’t want to move to a different school.

Once we are used to a school, we like it and get attached to it. We tend to think this is the best one and the only one we want.

While I was not too thrilled about the boundary change for us, I was not really concerned about it.

Yes, Middleton is not as new as Liberty Ridge. It is a little further away for us. It will be a totally new environment for my family.

And while my daughter seems to know everyone at Liberty Ridge, at least in her own grade level, she will only know some at Middleton.

But for me, a school is a school. A school is more than a name or a building. What makes a school good is the dedicated teachers, the actively involved parents and the kids.

It doesn’t matter so much which school in Woodbury my daughter will go to. What matters more is what teachers she will have.

I know some teachers at Liberty Ridge came from Middleton. There must be good teachers at Middleton, as well.

Several weeks ago I had a chance encounter with a young woman. During our very brief conversation, I found out (Didn’t I tell you in my last column that I like to ask questions?) that her daughter goes to Middleton.

After the boundary change next school year, she will go to Liberty Ridge. The woman knows both schools.

She told me that she preferred to have her daughter stay in Middleton.

That brief conversation erased any concern I might still had about the school change for my daughter.

During the week of March 8, my daughter visited Middleton during her school day with all the kids at her school that will go to Middleton.

That same evening we went together for a tour of the school and a presentation by the principal.

We both liked what we saw and experienced. We also liked the Middleton principal.

My daughter imitated several times how the principal introduced herself to the kids during their day time tour. She thought the principal was good and funny.

That same week, my son and I also visited the Lake Junior High School, which will be renamed Lake Middle School when he enters the sixth grade. There was a presentation by the principal and other school officials.

I really appreciate our school district’s efforts in organizing these transition meetings for students and parents, even though the actual change won’t happen till six months later.

They give families an opportunity to visit their new school, to meet the people, to have their questions answered.

I could see that the schools and staff are working hard to prepare for the boundary change and also for the change in grade configuration, both starting in the fall.

I can say that I am very comfortable now with the school change for my daughter. I am sure she will do fine at either school.

We might lose something we had at Liberty Ridge, but we could also gain something we didn’t have before.

With any change, there is a new opportunity.

When changes come, they inevitably will, we need to embrace them and make the best out of them.

Privacy for a price

2009-03-24T20:14:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 03/18/2009

I just read Dr. P. M. Forni’s book “Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct.” The book is Washington County Library’s selection for its “One County, One Book” program.

Reading the following 25 rules is a good reminder for everyone on how to be civil.

Pay attention, acknowledge others, think the best, listen, be inclusive, speak kindly, don’t speak ill, accept and give praise, respect even a subtle “no,” respect others’ opinions, mind your body, be agreeable, keep it down (and rediscover silence), respect other people’s time, respect other people’s space, apologize earnestly, assert yourself, avoid personal questions, care for your guests, be a considerate guest, think twice before asking for favors, refrain from idle complaints, accept and give constructive criticism, respect the environment and be gentle to animals, and don’t shift responsibility and blame.

I agree with Forni’s rules, except when it comes to rule No. 18 “avoid personal questions,” I have reservations.

Here is a selection of questions listed in the book many people perceive as intrusive and personal and should be avoided:

“How old are you?”

“How much did it cost?”

“For whom did you vote?”

“Do you believe in God?”

“Are you ill?”

“Have you lost/gained weight?”

In the 18 years I have lived in the U.S., this is the one rule I often question.

Coming from a different country and culture, I was used to the custom of asking personal questions.

Asking an elderly woman, even a stranger on the street about her age was nothing uncivil or embarrassing. On the contrary, it showed respect, because you expressed an interest in her, in her life, in her experiences and her wisdom as an aged person.

Americans are very protective of their privacy and their right to privacy. I understand its importance in this time and age for the reason of identity theft.

But other than that, I also see a high price we pay for the overprotection of privacy and avoiding personal questions.

We treasure our own privacy and respect others’ privacy so much that we become afraid to ask questions, because we don’t want to “unsettle, embarrass and sometimes even anger” people.

I wonder if that’s the reason why there are countless books published in the U.S. with the title “Everything You Wanted To Know about ... But were too Afraid To Ask.”

People wonder about something but they are afraid to ask.

There is the fear of invading somebody’s privacy and thus to embarrass both parties. The result is no questions, no real communication; no communication, no real relationship and friendship; no relationship and friendship, loneliness and depression.

I may be generalizing or oversimplifying things here. Let me give you an example to illustrate what I mean.

Some years ago while in my first week on my first professional job in Chicago, I went with my colleagues to a memorial service for a quite successful woman.

She committed suicide by throwing herself under a train. The event shocked the professional community in the area.

I didn’t know this woman personally. I wondered how such a terrible tragedy could happen. In my mind no one would end their own life in such a way if not in a hopeless and desperate situation.

Everyone who spoke at the memorial service talked about her as a wonderful and happy person who always had a smiling face, and often cheered and comforted others. It was a surprise for everyone that this tragedy happened.

After the memorial service, I still didn’t get the answers I was looking for. I was even more puzzled. It made me just wonder how much these former colleagues really knew her.

What did they know about her behind the smiling face, the hidden mask? Did they really know anything about her life besides her professional life?

That was the first time I started to question the privacy issue.

Are we so concerned about our own and others’ privacy and are we so afraid to ask personal questions that we don’t really know people around us, in our offices, in our neighborhoods or even in our own families?

In the name of protecting privacy, we have lost touch with other fellow human beings. We have superficial conversations. We work and live next to each other, without really knowing each other.

I have an inquisitive mind and like to ask questions. Among my Chinese friends, I feel comfortable asking such personal questions listed above.

I think you can only know people well by getting personal and asking personal questions.

But I don’t ask my American friends these questions, or I try not to, because I am afraid to embarrass people.

When I travel on an airplane, I like to talk to strangers next to me. Most times people are not interested in conversations.

Last year on my way to Seattle, I struck up a conversation with a woman seated next to me. She was a very nice person, a teacher and had a good family.

Because I asked her a lot of questions, about her job, her kids, her life experiences, she shared with me a lot of things I think some of her families, friends, or neighbors might not know, such as her struggle with her son’s drug use.

We truly enjoyed each other’s company and our conversation. When we arrived, she offered to give me a ride to my hotel. I was very thankful for her offer. I didn’t ride with her just because I could share a cab with an acquaintance to the same destination.

When we departed, we didn’t leave contact info for each other. She said to me, “I told you so much about myself, because I know we will never meet again, and it’s safe.”

It’s kind of sad that many of us feel safer and are willing to share with a total stranger than with people we know.

It was not important for me what her name, her address and her identity was. What important for me was as travelers on this trip and on this earth, we had a two hour chance encounter and shared a little bit of our lives with each other.

We opened our hearts to each other, made our journey together more enjoyable. I felt good to be trusted by someone I met for the first time.

The experience was so much better than reading a paper or doing anything else.

I am sure had I not taken the initiative to ask her personal questions, our conversation wouldn’t have taken place and it would just be another very boring plane trip for me.

I used to read “Ann Lander” and “Dear Abby” columns. I remember readers often complained about people asking personal, insensitive or dumb questions.

It is hard for me to understand the problem, because I don’t consider that as a problem. I think most people ask questions without any bad intention. They want to have a conversation, to get to know people better, to show their interest and concern.

Why complain about people asking some questions? Let’s “think the best of others” as rule No. 3 in the book states.

Yes, we have more privacy in this country, but we also have more silence, isolation, loneliness and depression.

Speaking about favorite books with LJHS students

2009-03-11T21:24:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 03/11/2009

On Feb. 27 I was at Lake Junior High School participating in its annual National Reading Day event.

More than 30 guest speakers from the community came to share their love for reading and to promote literacy and numeracy.

Each of us was asked to share one of our favorite books with our assigned class. I had a sixth grade class.

My first and immediate thought about picking a favorite book was: “It’s easy. It should be the Bible.” Because that is the only book I have read more often than any other books. And that’s true for many other people, too.

But I knew I was not asked to go to school to talk about the Bible and read from it. So I had to think about another book.

I like to read and have read quite a lot of books. It was not so easy to decide which one is my favorite.

After a little thinking, I picked Hal Urban’s “Life’s Greatest Lessons: 20 Things that Matter,” for two reasons.

First, this is one of the very few books I had actually read twice.

I rarely read books more than once. There are just too many books to read and not enough time to read. But there is something in that book that I really liked so I checked it out twice from the library.

Second, the book was written by a high school teacher who loved teaching and kids. He wrote the book for his kids and his students and provided great life lessons in it.

The book was self-published and was awarded Best Inspirational Book of the Year 2000 by Writer's Digest Magazine. It became popular and went through several printings before it was picked by a major publisher.

The book contains the wisdom of the ages and essential life truths. The 20 lessons are great for character education. The book is not only good for kids, parents and teachers, it is good for everyone.

So the 20 lessons are worth sharing here.

1. Success is more than making money.

2. Life is hard and not always fair.

3. Life is also fun and incredibly funny.

4. We live by choice, not by chance.

5. Attitude is a choice — the most important one you’ll every make.

6. Habits are the key to all success.

7. Being thankful is a habit — the best one you’ll ever have.

8. Good people build their lives on a foundation of respect.

9. Honesty is still the best policy.

10. Kind words cost little but accomplish much.

11. Real motivation comes from within.

12. Goals are dreams with deadlines.

13. There’s no substitute for hard work.

14. You have to give up something to get something.

15. Successful people don’t find time — they make time.

16. No one else can raise your self-esteem.

17. The body needs nutrition and exercise — so do the mind and the spirit.

18. It’s OK to fail – everyone else has.

19. Life is simpler when we know what’s essential.

20. Essential No. 1 is being a good person.

Before I talked about this book and read from it to my sixth-grader’s class, I did a quiz with the kids just for fun.

I asked them: “What book is the best-selling book on the market now?”

I got different answers: “Harry Potter,” “Twilight,” etc.

To give them more clues I added: “What book is the best-selling book of all time, past, present and future, and possibly in all countries and languages?

Still, I did not get the correct answer.

Then I said: “Most likely many of you have more than one copy at home for this book.”

Finally, a boy answered with hesitation and a query in his voice: “The Bible?”

I knew my first question was tricky and could be misleading, but I didn’t realize that the questions were hard for the sixth-graders.

I also read something I wrote and shared a poem with them.

I told the kids how fortunate they are to live in this country, to have such great school and public libraries, and to have easy access to reading materials.

They really have no reasons not to read.

The annual National Reading Day event was organized by the Student Literacy Council at LJH with the help of LJH Literacy Coach Jan Buikema. It was a great school and community event, very well organized. As a guest speaker I felt very welcomed and appreciated.

Congratulations to LJHS for a job well done.

A diet plan that works

2009-03-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 03/04/2009

In the United States, being overweight is a big health problem.

Part of the problem is caused by the "Standard American Diet" (SAD) that is disproportionately low in fruits and vegetables and high in saturated fats and refined sugars and carbohydrates.

As the result of our SAD diet and sedentary lifestyle, more and more are struggling with obesity and other chronic health conditions, such as diabetes, strokes and heart disease.

To lose weight, people try many different kinds of diets: low carbohydrate diets, low fat diets, high protein diet, low protein diet, South Beach Diet, Atkins Diet ... The list of diets can go on and on.

Personally, I doubt the effectiveness of most of these diets. Each diet might work for some people, but not for everyone.

I believe the diet plan that really works universally for everyone is this seven-word plan: "Eat Less, Exercise More and Live Healthy!"

Here are a few practical tips to help you lose weight if you are struggling with the problem.

Sometimes, in order to solve a problem, we not only have to look at that problem, but we also need to step back and look at the whole picture in order to get to the root cause of the
problem.

The same is true with weight loss. Look for the root cause of your weight problem. Dealing with the underlying issues of using food to treat boredom, stress, anxiety, depression or loneliness might be the first step to effective weight loss.

If you are experiencing problems in your life, whether it is financially, emotionally or relationally, work on those problems.

Weight problems are often the symptoms of other problems you have in life.

Once you get your life straight and organized, your weight problem might take care of itself without much effort.

If you just focus on the symptoms of weight without addressing the underlying issues, then no matter how hard you try the different diets, they will not be effective.

In terms of diet, we need to move away from the SAD diet and move to a more healthful, balanced and natural diet - a plant-based diet.

This is what I mean:

Stay away from fast food, fried food, processed food and convenience food. Avoid food where you can't pronounce the ingredients.

Stop drinking soda and any sweetened bottle drinks.

Reduce the intake of three white things - white flour, salt and sugar.

Keep your food as whole and natural as possible by eating more raw fruits, veggies and nuts.

Eat more fresh vegetables and fruit instead of cooked or canned vegetables and fruits or drinking fruit juice.

Make rainbow, i.e. colorful, food part of your regular diet.

Eat a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables gives your body the range of valuable nutrients it needs to maintain health. And the deeper the color, the better.

To get more variety and color in your diet, try red (beets, tomatoes, watermelon),orange/yellow (carrots, sweet potatoes, lemons, oranges, grapefruits), green (spinach, broccoli), blue/purple (blueberries, grapes, raisins, and eggplant), and white (garlic,onions, bananas, potatoes).

No unhealthy snacks between meals. Snack on vegetables, fruits or nuts if you must.

Eat out less. Learn to cook from scratch to better control what you eat and how much you eat.

Start your day with a glass of water and drink plenty of water all day.

People often eat while doing other things at the same time, such as driving, watching TV and working on computer. Instead of multitasking, we should be mindful while eating.

Try to enjoy your food, eat it slowly and consciously. You will only eat as much as you need to be full.

Don't eat after dinner and before going to bed.

Brush your teeth early in the evening rather than just before bed. It keeps you from snacking if you're not really hungry.

Go to bed early and get up early. If you stay up late, you might overeat.

In essence, weight loss is about the balance between calories taken in and calories burned. Eat only when you are hungry. Try not to overeat like we often do at parties and buffets.

If you have to indulge yourself sometimes, then remember to keep everything in moderation.

Besides eating healthy and eating less, you need to exercise as well.

Walk and bike as much as you can. Use the stairs instead of the elevator whenever you can.

Join a weight-loss group for support and have an exercise buddy for motivation and accountability.

Never give up, even after you have failed a few times. When you fail, start over and keep going.

Just remember, Eat Less, Exercise More and Live Healthy!

Your reward will be a healthy and better you.

Dealing with difficult people

2009-02-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 02/25/2009

In my last column, I talked about “slow to anger, quick to listen.” It had advice for others as well as for myself.

The same week I submitted that article for publication, I was put to test by a difficult person in my work place.

I graduated from college in 1985. Since then, I have been through two graduate programs and various jobs. I have never had any memorable problems and conflicts with anyone in schools or workplaces. I think I get along with people well.

My response towards people who are difficult is to stay away from them.

So, even though there is a difficult person in my office since I started working there several years ago, and some former colleagues left jobs because of the unhealthy environment caused by that person, I was doing fine. I never felt targeted.

But it all changed last week.

Lately, I had some issues with that person. Because I thought what that person did or did not do was not good for effective business operation, for customer service and for team work, I reported the unprofessional conduct to my supervisor.

That resulted in big trouble for me. I could feel the heat coming afterwards.

A message was sent to everyone in my office about a minor error I made. It was not a big deal at all. It didn’t cause any problem and could be easily corrected.

Personally, I won’t act the way that person did. If I find someone made that kind of innocent mistake, I would simply tell him in private and ask him to fix it. I won’t broadcast it to everyone who has nothing to do with it.

But I was OK with what that person did, because I welcome others’ criticism and corrections. I like to know what I did wrong so I can do better. I like to take responsibilities for my actions and mistakes.

I don’t have a big ego and I have enough self-esteem. So I have no problem admitting my mistakes in public if necessary.

That person could report my errors to my supervisor, my supervisor’s supervisor, or the highest power in the organization; it won’t bother me so much.

But days later, that person sent another e-mail to everyone in my office reporting another, but similar kind of mistake I supposedly made. What angered me was the mistake she reported publicly didn’t actually happen. I had the facts to prove it.

When I confronted that person, she even lied to my face and denied the thing she did for which I could again find prove.

It was hard to not get angry when I was in that situation.

How could things like that happen? It was just unbelievable to me.

I know there are always difficult people in every organization. Otherwise there won’t be so many books or presentations on dealing with difficult people.

Now I finally experienced and realized how difficult people can be. I started to understand why people leave jobs because of difficult people and unhealthy work environment.

I also saw the limits of what an individual or organization can do.

In the private sector, it is much easier to fire someone who is difficult, incompetent and can’t do his job well.

But in the public sector, it seems like almost impossible to fire someone.

Some supervisors simply give in to difficult people and give up their efforts to fire difficult people, because it is too cumbersome. It is not worth of their time and efforts.

Not being able to reward good employees and discipline difficult employees efficiently and effectively is also a problem in the public sector.

In my case, I did let my supervisor and colleagues know what the truth was.

I did write a firm letter to that person stating clearly what happened and what was wrong. I said it was not acceptable to fabricate things about another person in the public.

I also requested a public apology from that person. So far it has not happened, which was not surprising to me.

But I felt good that I stood up for myself and set the boundaries. And I did all I could do in my power.

In the end, I just have to let it go.

I know difficult people are difficult for a reason.

I know I can’t do anything to change them or the situation. All I can change is my reaction and my attitude toward them.

I know harboring anger toward that difficult person does not do me any good. It will affect my mind, my health, my life in a negative way.

Taking the high road is really the only way to keep the peace I want. And having some compassion for that difficult person is what I should do.

Slow to anger, quick to listen

2009-02-18T21:23:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 02/18/2009

Normally, I don’t hear from anyone after a column is published.

So I was surprised when my Jan. 28 column about school closing generated a few angry messages from readers.

I say “angry” because either those readers got angry after reading my column or they thought I was angry about the school closing.

I can’t speak for other people why they felt the way they did. But I want to say a few words to clear any possible misunderstanding.

First of all, I was not angry when the school was closed. I was not angry when I wrote that column. It was not my intention to express any anger at anyone or the school district.

If I was not clear with my intention or in my writing, if I used the wrong words and sounded angry, or if I was disrespectful or ungrateful and therefore offended anyone, I would like to apologize here.

Yes, I was surprised by the school closing.

Yes, I was in the minority camp of parents that did not like school closing.

Yes, I can get angry like everyone else.

But to get angry with school closing? Definitely no!

School closing is not something that can affect me so much emotionally to get me angry.

As I stated in the Jan. 28 column, I knew the decision to close school was “based on the best interests of the students and employees.”

I also said: “I understand different factors are taken into consideration. I admit I only see a few trees and not the forest or the whole picture.

I also understand that other parents may have different opinions about school closing. It is OK to have different points of view. We are all different and think differently.”

I was just sharing my own thoughts and personal preferences.

I didn’t say my point of view is better than others, or my way is a better way.

I welcome others to show me the forest or the whole picture, to share their point of view, but sending me angry comments was a little overboard to me.

For example, I was told that I was incapable of following the local news on my own.

I didn’t say I couldn’t follow the local news and therefore needed someone to tell me about severe weather conditions in advance.

I am a librarian with two masters degrees and my ability to find news and information is at least about average, if not above average.

During winter time, my kids are often driven to school instead of taking the bus, when it is cold.

Sometimes I wonder whether people really take the time to read what is said and whether they really understand what is said before making comments and judgments.

Personally, I like to ask questions and say things straight from my mind. I am not afraid of looking and being dumb. I like constructive criticism.

I always tell my colleagues to correct me if I do something wrong or to let me know if something could be done differently and better.

Last week, I had a meeting with an employee from a different office who expressed dissatisfaction with a monthly publication our office puts together. It was the first time I heard a negative comment about our publication.

So, I initiated the meeting to find out how we could improve our publication and do a better job.

People are usually very polite and say nice things to make others feel good. Or they don’t say anything even if they don’t like something. They keep to themselves for the fear of offending others.

Positive comments are nice, but they don’t offer much help for improvement.

On the other hand, negative comments, if offered in a constructive way, provide food for thought and opportunities for improvement. That’s why I was very grateful for that person’s negative and honest comments.

I think it is important to provide a safe environment for people to express their opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

Oftentimes, people just want to feel heard and validated.

People can disagree with each other, but share your opinions in a calm manner and don’t get angry because others have different opinions.

We need to be more open to different ideas and different points of view.

Sometimes there is no right or wrong. What is right or wrong in your mind depends on your family and cultural backgrounds, personal experiences and value systems.

We need to be more tolerant. Don’t be easily offended by someone who has a different point of view.

Sometimes people are so passionate about their own ideas and beliefs, they can’t tolerate others who are different.

We need to be good listeners.

Sometimes we jump into conclusions and judgment too fast and too early, before others can finish what they have to say or before we really understand what has been said.

We should try to find something good in what others say. Even if 99 percent of what is said is nonsense, there is still one percent left that might be good and could help us improve, to do a better job or to be a better person.

The thought that kept coming to my mind these last two weeks is the Bible verse, “slow to anger, quick to listen.”

This is what I remind myself and also want to tell my readers who got angry with my columns or might get angry with my future columns.

Learning five love languages

2009-02-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 02/11/2009

Have you ever read a book and liked it so much that you say to yourself, “I wish everyone would read this?”

This happens to me whenever I read a good book.

One such book I highly recommend to everyone is “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Chapman, a renowned author, speaker and marriage counselor, has more than thirty years of experience in marriage counseling. His books are widely popular.

Based on his work with thousands of people, Chapman comes to the conclusion that problems and unhappiness in marriage often have a simple root cause — we speak different love languages.

If couples don’t speak the same love language, they can’t communicate effectively. The result is miscommunication and misunderstanding and feelings of not being loved.

Chapman believes the need to feel loved is a basic human emotional need. At the heart of every human being is the desire to be loved and understood by another human being. However, what makes one person feel loved is not always the thing that makes another person feel loved.

In the field of linguistics, there are many different languages: English, German, Chinese, French, Italian, Spanish, etc.

Most people grow up learning and speaking a certain language which becomes our primary or native language. We are most comfortable speaking this language.

Naturally, if one person speaks only English and another speaks only Chinese, they can’t communicate with each other. At the very least their communication will be limited.

In the area of love, there are also different languages.

Chapman identifies five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. They are five ways that people speak and understand love.

A language may have numerous dialects or variations. Similarly, within the five basic emotional love languages, there are many dialects.

If you like to use kind words and verbal compliments to express love, then your primary love language is words of affirmation.

If being together, doing things together, spending focused time together, having quality conversation with each other, and giving each other undivided attention is important to you, then your primary love language is quality time.

If you think giving and receiving gifts is the way to express love, then your primary love language is gifts.

If you feel most loved when your spouse does something for you and if you seek to please your spouse by serving her/him, then your primary love language is acts of service.

If holding hands, kissing, embracing and being intimate makes you feel loved, then your primary love language is physical touch.

As we grow up, we develop a primary emotional love language based on our unique psychological makeup and the environment. We will speak and understand one primary love language.

We often love our spouse the way we'd like to be loved, and so does our spouse love us the way they'd like to be love.

But husband and wife rarely speak the same primary love language. We become frustrated when our spouse doesn’t understand what we are communicating. We think we are expressing love, but the message doesn’t come through, because what we are speaking is like a foreign language to them.

If your love language is different than your spouse’s, then no matter how hard you try to express love, you will not understand how to love each other.

Chapman uses the concept of the emotional love tank. When our love tank is full, we feel secure and loved. But when our love tank is empty, we feel used and not loved.

If we want to fill our spouse’s love tank, to meet their emotional need for love, and to be effective communicators of love, we must be willing to learn their primary love language. If we want our spouse to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in their primary love language.

Once we meet our spouse’s emotional need and fill their love tank by speaking their primary love language, chances are they will reciprocate and speak our love language.

Chapman believes that learning and understanding the primary love language of yourself and your spouse is one of the keys to a loving relationship.

If you are interested in learning more about the five love language and discovering your and your spouse’s love language, if you long to improve your relationship with your spouse, your children, your parents, or your siblings, then you will benefit from reading the book.

You can find the book at the Washington County Library, local book stores or online.

The book will also make a great Valentine’s gift for your loved ones.

Raising good readers

2009-02-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 02/04/2009

February is “I Love to Read Month,” a time designated to promote literacy and celebrate the joy of reading all across North America.

I love to read and write.

One of my goals as a parent is to raise my kids to be good readers, to instill in them the love of reading and writing and to pass my passion for the written word on to them.

I believe reading to our children and teaching them to read at a young age is one of the most important jobs parents have.

Reading is the most important subject kids should master as early as possible. It is the foundation for all other subjects and the key to the academic success.

Every kid should master the skill of reading.

Here are some ideas to help parents raise good readers.

Be a reader yourself

If you want your children to be good readers, you have to model the behavior. Be a role model and read yourself.

Make reading a regular part of your family life.

By seeing how much you enjoy reading, your children will learn to love reading, too.

Start early

It is never too early to start reading to your child.

When it comes to raising good readers, you can never start too early. I know parents who started reading to their babies before they were born.

Don’t wait until your child can sit or talk or starts school. Early education is important.

When my kids were toddlers, they got their own library cards so they could check out books in their own names. I read to them as much as I could.

Make reading time special

Reading should be a regular part of your daily life.

After dinner or before bedtime are often favorite times to read.

Have a quiet and comfortable spot to cuddle up and read together.

Making reading time special can help your child associate reading with feeling secure, relaxed and loved.

Read every day

Read to your child every day and continue reading together even after your child learns to read.

Many parents stop reading to their kids once they start school and learn to read themselves.

Experts suggest that we should continue reading to our kids even when they are independent readers.

Older children still enjoy listening to others read.

Be patient

Let your child read at his own pace. Let him read the same books again and again. Children love reading their favorite books repeatedly.

The first book my daughter could read on her own was “Tiny Goes to the Library” before she attended preschool. She checked out the book from the library several times and read it many times.

Visit a library regularly

Take your kids to the library regularly and let them explore the rich resources library has to offer. Let them pick their own books they like to read.

As they grow older and become good readers, give them guidance and suggestion of different reading options to broad their horizons.

Match their interests and reading levels

Help your kids find books that match their hobbies and interests. They are more likely to read books on subjects they are interested in.

The books should also match their reading levels.

If the books are too difficult, they will not finish. Too easy, they might get bored. The books should be challenging but not impossible to read.

I think, generally speaking, girls read more than boys.

It’s more challenging to motivate boys to read. They like to read books full of adventures, with more and action. They prefer sports, adventures, science fiction and fantasy books.

Librarians are good resources to consult if you need help with selecting the appropriate books for your kids.

Read widely

Someone once said fiction is for the heart and non-fiction is for the mind. This maybe a simplistic statement, but I think there is some truth in it.

Most kids like to read fiction. My daughter likes to read fiction all the time while I prefer non-fiction.

I try to make her read some non-fiction as well, such as biographies, in order to get some balance of the heart and mind.

Give books as presents

Instead of buying toys and games, give your kids books for birthday and holidays. Take them to the bookstore to choose books they like.

I am happy to say that both my son and daughter love to read, especially my daughter.

Every day when she comes home after school, she reads. She can sit quietly and read for an hour or more. Reading is one of the few things I don’t have to ask her to do, but she does it on her own.

When I ask my kids to stop reading to do something else, they often say: “One more minute,” or “I’ll finish the chapter,” which often means finishing the whole book.

I know they have already found the joy of reading.

A world of adventures and wonders await those who can read and enjoy reading.

Oh no! School’s closed!

2009-01-30T20:32:00.001-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 01/28/2009

Early Thursday morning, Jan. 15, after I arrived at my office, I turned on my computer and checked my e-mail. That’s when I saw the surprise message that schools in South Washington County were closed due to extreme temperatures.

“Oh no, school is closed!”

I wasn’t happy about school closing, but this time, at least, I got the news and could let my kids know so they didn’t have to wait for the bus in vain, as happened to them the last time.

A few years ago, when the first school closing happened to us due to the same weather condition, we didn’t know anything about it in advance. My son and a few other kids waited and waited at the bus stop. And the bus never came.

I didn’t want that cold experience to happen to other families. So I contacted a few friends to let them know.

One of my friends, who is a teacher in St. Paul, said, “Don’t expect this to happen in St Paul.”

St. Paul or Minneapolis school districts rarely close their schools.

I imagine there were some busy parents who dropped their kids at schools on Thursday morning, only to find that the buildings were closed.

I could also imagine there were some kids who stood at the bus stop waiting for the bus on Thursday morning, but it never came.

Well, not much imagination was needed. These things certainly happened.

In fact, someone I know dropped her kid at school and went on to work, only to be called back later to pick up her child.

Once parents found out that there was no school, many had to scramble and rearrange their schedule for the day. For working parents, they had to find other day care arrangement or take the day off to stay home with their kids.

Then the same thing happened again on Friday, Jan. 16.

“Oh no, school is closed — again!”

I am sure this same thought went through many parents’ minds.

School cancellation causes inconvenience for many, and maybe some hardship for a few.

Personally, I don’t have problems with day care for my kids because they can stay home with grandparents. But still, I don’t like school closing.

The St. Paul newspaper had this fitting headline on its cover on Jan. 15: “What’d you expect? It’s Minnesota.”

If St. Paul and Minneapolis families could tough it out, why couldn’t we in Woodbury? I have other reasons to be concerned about school closing.

American schools already have one of the shortest school years in the world.

We just had our holiday break. In January, we have four scheduled no school days, Jan. 1, 2, 19 and 26. Now we added two more no school days. It feels like a lot of no school days to me.

A District 833 official said that “the extra days off won’t be an added burden on students and teachers to stay on track with their courses.”

When my son told me their fifth-graders got to skip the MAP reading test which was scheduled on one of the two days, for me at least, it meant they did have to give up on something that I think is important.

The test could tell me whether and how my son has progressed in his reading over the last few months.

I know school closing is decided by the superintendent or his designee, based on the best interests of the students and employees. One person’s decision affects tens of thousands of people.

I wonder whether this should be the job of parents to decide what is in the best interest of their kids.

Personally I would prefer to have our school district send out an advanced alert about the severe weather condition.

Parents could be encouraged to take their kids to school, or they could make the choice of skipping school.

Parents should use their own judgment to do what is in the best interest of their kids and families.

My preference is to let parents make the decision, unless the weather and road condition is really bad we have to cancel, in case we have a terrible snow storm.

In that case, I would appreciate receiving a phone call from school instead of an e-mail.

How many parents have time or would think to check e-mail and websites, or watch TV early in the morning?

I often get automated phone messages from school about fundraising events. Why can’t we get an automated phone message for school closing? At least this could prevent all unnecessary trips to school or waiting at the bus stop and save a lot of frustration.

A friend in Woodbury whose daughter who is in the Stillwater School District said she got phone calls at home, on her cell and in her office about their school closing.

I hope our school district could provide this kind of courtesy call.

When it comes to make the decision to close school, I understand different factors are taking into consideration. I admit I only see a few trees and not the forest or the whole picture.

I also understand that other parents may have different opinions about school closing. It is OK to have different points of view. We are all different and think differently.

I just want to share my own thoughts here.

In the end, we can at least all agree with what our superintendent once said: “You can’t please everyone.”

Life is more than success

2009-01-21T21:54:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 01/21/2009

Every time I go to the R. H. Stafford Library, I always stop at the new book shelf near the entrance to check what new books are there.

Recently, I happened to see the autobiography by Lang Lang, “Journey of a Thousand Miles: My Story” ((Random House, 2008).

I had heard about Lang Lang and read articles about him.

Lang Lang, from China, is considered one of the greatest pianists of our time. He has played with the leading orchestras in all major concert halls throughout the world.

I was interested in reading more about him. The 256-page book proved to be an easy and interesting read.

“Journey of a Thousand Miles” reveals Lang Lang’s journey from his early childhood as a prodigy in the industrial city Shenyang in northern China to his difficult years in Beijing to his success today.

As a Chinese person, I am familiar with the competitive mind he embodies and talks about in the book.

“In the culture of my childhood, being best was everything. It was the goal that drove us, the motivation that gave life meaning.”

Number One was his mantra. Lang Lang was driven by his own desire to be the number one, to win competitions.

He was also driven by his father who was considered mentally and physically abusive, certainly by American standard.

He did become number one time and time again in various national and international competitions, thanks to he and his parents’ hard work, determination and sacrifices.

Since Lang Lang has established himself as one of the greatest pianists, he lived a life of excitement and glamour.

He traveled all around the world, from the Golden Globe Awards ceremony to Nobel Prize ceremony, from the World Cub to the Beijing Olympic Games. He played at the White House and the Kremlin.

He performed for presidents, kings, queens and other dignitaries.

Lang Lang had a difficult childhood. He lived in poverty before reaching success. His story was very touching and inspiring.

But what impressed me the most in the book was his confession of having depression after reaching success and prosperity.

Despite his fame and success, he felt depressed.

“I couldn’t seem to enjoy my success,” Lang Lang confessed, “Depression had been looming over me since my professional career took off. I’d felt constantly unmoored, always completely alone in spite of the crowds that clamored for my attention.”

This is a sad statement, yet not so surprising for me.

I know many people can easily identify with this feeling.

No matter what our own personal stories are, no matter how different our life journeys are, no matter what big, small or no successes we have in life, we all experience times when we feel completely alone in this world.

Success alone does not make our life fulfilling and meaningful.

At the end of the story, Lang Land did find some meaning in working as an International Goodwill Ambassador to the United Nations Children’s Fund UNICEF. In that role he traveled to different parts of the world and advocated for the children.

Lang Lang developed a foundation to support the education of classic music, to help children realize their dreams, with music as a starting point, to improve the world by improving the lives of children through music.

He saw his role as that of a cultural ambassador who can build bridges between cultures and foster peaceful and respectful cooperation.

Now in addition to sharing his talent as a pianist and sharing music with the world, he also lent his support to environmental issues China is facing now.

In the end Lang Lang understood that as an artist, his responsibility goes beyond music. His music must serve people and peace. He found more meaning in life.

I hope Lang Lang will look not only beyond the world of music, but also beyond this world, to see what he can not see with his eyes and hear what he can not hear with his ears, to find true and eternal meaning in life.

Lang Lang’s story reinforced in me the lesson that there is more than success in life. Finding meaning in life is a life long learning and searching process.

The book ends with the saying of Lao-tzu: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Every one of us has to start our journey with a single step.

Why not make the beginning of this New Year the beginning of your journey, whatever that journey is, in your life right now!

Virtual clutter removal

2009-01-14T21:01:00.001-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 01/14/2009

There has been a lot of talk about de-cluttering our physical space. Our houses, garages, closets or drawers all need a clean-up on a regular basis, otherwise they will overflow and make our lives stressful.

The same thing is happening to our virtual lives. Virtual clutter can drag us down and create stress and anxiety like physical clutter can.

These days, many people not only live in the physical world, but also in a very active virtual world.

We bank online, date online, make purchases online, register classes online, check our medical records or kids’ school records online, track our investments online or reserve books online.

People also use different Internet social networking tools, such as MySpace, YouTube, Second Life and Flickr.

We have e-mail accounts and some employ multiple accounts. We use e-mail to correspond with others, to read e-newsletters, etc.

I have so many user names and passwords for different accounts that I get overwhelmed and sometimes I don’t remember what is what.

The messages in my e-mail inbox had grown to more than 1,000 at the end of last year. It reached such a level that I knew I had to do something about it. I couldn’t let them keep growing and get out of control.

An overstuffed e-mail inbox, with thousands of unread messages, a desktop covered with files and images, are all forms of e-clutter that distract and overload us unnecessarily.

So, over the past Christmas and New Year holidays, I spent a lot of quiet free-time on cleaning up my Yahoo e-mail inbox. I call it virtual de-cluttering.

I went through my inbox.

For the old messages, I either moved them to an appropriate folder or delete them. I have 30 folders to store old e-mail.

Some of the messages were e-newsletters I received regularly that I had, or had not, read over the years. I quickly read and deleted most of them.

I confess, I am a hoarder in all aspects of my life, physical or virtual. As a cyber-packrat, I keep lots of old messages. I have about 2,000 e-mails in my 30 folders.

I think I am very good at responding to messages right away, but I am an e-procrastinator who thinks I’ll deal with old e-mail tomorrow. That’s how my inbox keeps expanding.

Here are a few things I have done or learned that can help you keep your e-mail and virtual life more organized and less cluttered:

• Don’t respond to pop-ups

Once I made the big mistake of allowing my son to use my Yahoo e-mail address to respond to a pop-up request. Since then my inbox has been flooded with spam mails that made my virtual life miserable.

• Create a spam folder for junk mails

Luckily, I was able to create a spam folder in my Yahoo e-mail. All the spam mails now go directly into the spam folder. A few times a week, I delete one or two hundreds of spam mail by simply empting the spam folder.

By filtering the incoming mail, my inbox has become very manageable again.

• Create and label folders

In order to be organized, we have to have a filing system, whether it’s for traditional mail or e-mail.

For my Yahoo e-mail, I created a filing system by having labeled folders. So I have a place for everything I want to save from inbox. If there is a place for everything, then it is easier to organize and later to find things.

Moving e-mail into folders by subject is a good way to pare down an inbox.

• Different email accounts for different activities

Even though I registered for more than one free e-mail accounts, I basically use my Yahoo email for everything. In addition I also have a work email through my employer.

I know some people use more than one private e-mail account for different activities or purposes. They might use one for families and friends, another one for business or online purchases, etc.

This strategy could keep things separate and more organized, but for me it is also more time-consuming to have to deal with more accounts.

• Compress several messages into one

If I have a message that has generated several follow-up or response messages and I want to keep all, I copy all follow-up messages into the original message. This way I only need to save one message instead of several messages related to one topic.

• Declare e-mail bankruptcy

Sometimes to regain a sense of order and to start fresh, people may have no choice but to declare e-mail bankruptcy and kill all old messages.

If you ever feel you are drowning in e-mail and see no way out, the only solution might be to empty your inbox by deleting everything in it and start from scratch.

It does take more courage to do so.

As we begin the year 2009, maybe you also want to take some time to clear your e-clutter for a fresh start in the New Year.

This I know — you will feel lighter and better once you de-clutter your virtual environment, just as you de-clutter your physical environment.

My best holiday ever

2009-01-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 01/07/2009

As I sit down to write this column, another Christmas holiday has just passed.

I didn’t do anything special during the holiday.

I didn’t go on vacation. I went to work on both days before and after Christmas. The office was dead quiet.

As usual, I spent several hours on Christmas Eve preparing my annual Christmas treasure hunt for my kids.

I went to bed long past midnight so I got up really late on Christmas morning.

My kids had fun with the treasure hunt while I was still sleeping.

In the afternoon after lunch, I went out for a walk by myself in the neighborhood.

It was cold, and again dead quiet. I could not see a living soul. I hadn’t had a walk outside for a long time. It felt refreshing and good.

I didn’t go out to a fancy restaurant or a party. I didn’t have any expensive presents. None of these mattered.

I simply had a very peaceful, relaxed time which I enjoyed. That was really all I needed.

This Christmas holiday could be easily one just like any in the past, nothing extraordinary happened that it would easily slip from my memory.

But thanks to my kids, they made this year’s holiday my best one ever. I know I will always remember it.

On the last school day before the winter break started, my nine-year-old daughter Amy brought home a poem she wrote for me as one of her Christmas presents.

Then in the evening, she also wrote a poem for her Dad, a poem for her brother and a poem for her Grandma.

I was so happy and proud of her for writing those poems. I gave her a journal as her poem book so she could keep the poems in one place.

Unbeknownst to me, this was just the beginning of her poetry fever.

Somehow, Amy and, under her influence, my 10-year-old son Andy both got caught by the poetry bug. They started to write poems together.

On Christmas Eve, the first no school day, they built a poetry fort in the corner of the play room.

They stick one side of a big towel in the door to hold it and another side on the sofa close to the door.

This served as a curtain.

They put a few pillows and towels on the floor. They hid themselves behind the curtain in that tiny corner for hours thinking and writing poems.

They were on a serious mission. They didn’t allow anyone to look what they were doing.

They used a rhyming booklet, the Lucky Pocket Rhyming Dictionary, to help them brainstorm ideas and find rhyming words.

They scribbled their poems on sticky post-it notes first. Then they transferred them to the poem book.

Amy had a tiny bottle with candies shaped like pills. She called the candies her “thinking pills.”

On the first day, they wrote more than 30 poems. Some of the poems are really good, by my layman’s eyes. I cannot write so well myself.

They became two poets over night. I was excited, to say the least. I was kind of in shock.

I suggested that they should submit their poems to Woodbury Bulletin’s monthly kids’ section —Sprouts.

If they submit two poems a month, they could keep it going for a while. And hopefully they will continue writing poems that they can contribute on a regular basis.

For the next few days, Amy and Andy kept their poetry writing going back and forth.

So far, as I am finishing up this column on the night of Monday, Dec. 29, 2008, Amy and Andy have written more than 100 poems.

I should add, most of them are silly nonsense verses, some are Haiku.

Nothing could make me happier than seeing my kids so excited in their new poetry adventure and so productive in what they are doing.

I am also glad that they found something to do during this winter break that is so much fun and better than playing computer or Wii games.

My heart has been full of gladness and joy since my daughter showed me the poem she wrote for me on Dec. 23.

With so many poems my kids wrote in the last few days, they have really made this holiday the best and the most memorable one I have ever had in my life.

Here I would like to share this poem Amy gave me for Christmas:

My Mom

By Amy Guo

My mom is the best mom you can meet.
She’s the best when you eat.
She’s the best when she gives you more.
She’s the mom I adore.
She’s the one who lets me play.
Look there she is on Christmas Day!
Hooray!

For more of Amy and Andy’s poems, please read future issues of Sprouts in this paper.

P.S. I know I am far away from the “best mom” I should be. But I am glad my daughter says so.

And I was surprised by “She’s the best when you eat.”

Amy and I fight almost every day during meal time, because I make her to eat vegetables for every dinner which she doesn’t want to.

What we really need in life

2009-01-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 12/31/2008

Last week, a cousin living in Hungary sent me a YouTube link to a video clip about Nick Vujicic, a man without limbs.

The video was only a few minutes long, but it was very powerful. I felt so inspired and moved that I had to forward it to a few friends.

I even went to Oprah’s website to submit a suggestion for her "Oprah Winfrey Show." I sent it to one of her producers whom I recently read about in the UW-Madison Alumni magazine “On Wisconsin.”

Even though I don’t watch Oprah or other TV programs, I know Oprah has perhaps the most influential TV talk show in the world. I thought if she hasn’t already interviewed Nick Vujicic, I hope she will do so some day.

So who is Nick Vujicic and why is he so interesting and inspiring?

Nick is a 25-year-old man from Australia. He was born without arms and legs and no medical reason could be given for this condition.

Despite countless challenges and obstacles, he achieved what others might call impossible.

Now he travels all over the globe and shares his testimony with millions of people. He brings God’s love and hope to people in all situations and circumstances. He challenges people to overcome struggles and obstacles in life.

What can we all learn from Nick?

Most of us have healthy bodies. We have arms and legs, fingers and toes. We can walk, run, lift and write. There are so much we can do that Nick cannot do physically. Yet, he lives a life without limitation, while many of us live our life with limitation, if not physically, then mentally.

We don’t need a lot in life. We don’t have to be perfectly made or perfectly looking. Even with severe physical disability, we can still live a good life and live life to the fullest. All we really need is to have a heart of contentment and gratitude, to know that we are wonderfully made and to find the purpose God has for us.

Watching Nick’s video clip reinforced this lesson.

Every year during the holiday season, people spend a lot of time and money shopping and buying stuff. I am always amazed and wonder how much do we need.

How many toys do our children need? How many more video games are necessary? How many gadgets, sweaters, dresses, bags, shoes, etc. do we need?

In this country, most people already have more than needed. Our houses, our garages, our closets, our drawers, our shelves are filled with stuff, yet we still keep buying. We keep buying stuff we think we need, but in reality, we don’t need more.

We have the false sense that we need more to look good, feel good and be happy; we need to have better things in order to have self-esteem; and our kids need more toys and games to be smart and happy.

When I grew up, I didn’t have toys, let alone any educational toys or electronic games. I don’t think my brain development was affected in any negative way as a result.

I didn’t have many clothes, let alone nice clothes. My mother had to make everything for me, from inside to outside, from top to bottom. I don’t think I suffered any low self-esteem as a result. In a nutshell, I turned out O.K. without many nice things in life.

What I think I had was that I learned to value what I had. I developed a heart of contentment and gratitude. I am content with what I have, even though what I have is not the best or the most expensive.

I try to pass on this important life lesson to my kids.

I don’t overindulge them. I don’t buy them a lot of stuff. I want them to develop a heart of contentment and gratitude. I want them to value what they have, not envy what they don’t have.

Nothing thrills me more than hearing my kids say: “Mom, thanks for bringing us to …” or “Mom, thanks for buying us …”

When my kids were younger, they had brought home Santa’s wish list during the holiday season that they made at school. I wasn’t excited about getting those lists. I think instead of making Santa’s wish list of what they want, they should make a “Count my blessings” list. Instead of asking for more toys, they should share what they are thankful for.

As we come to the end of 2008 and look forward to the New Year 2009, let us all be thankful for what we have and what we are going to have.

Having a content heart is one of the greatest blessings in life. And that is what we really need.

For more information about Nick Vujicic, visit his website http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org or watch some video clips on YouTube. May you be inspired and touched by his story and testimony.

I wish every one of you a happy, healthy and blessed New Year!

Finding balance in mind, body and spirit

2009-01-01T21:49:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 12/23/2008

Life is a balancing act, we all know and agree.

When people talk about finding balance in life, it is often about balance of work and family life, and about balance of the hectic lifestyle and stress management.

But I don’t think that is the most important area in our life that needs balance. What we truly need is to balance the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual dimensions of our live.

As human beings, we have body, mind and spirit. Our body needs nutrition and exercise, so do our mind and spirit.

Only when we learn to nurture our body, mind and spirit and keep them in balance, can we become more complete and live more fully.

The problem is that many people live one- or two-dimensional lives in a three- or four-dimensional world.

It is important to take good care of our body. Our body needs the right combination of nutrition and exercise. We need to eat healthy and exercise regularly in order to have a healthy body, live a long and productive life.

Healthy is a choice. We have to make right choices in our daily lives in order to stay healthy.

Keeping the body in good condition is important. It affects how we feel about ourselves. We feel better when we are healthy and in good shape.

However, some people focus too much attention on the physical dimension, on getting fit and having a great physical body, and on physical appearances, but they don’t know or neglect the fact that the body is not all what constitutes a human being.

In fact, our body is not the most essential thing. It is the vehicle that carries what is essential. It is “the temple of the Holy Spirit,” as the Bible says.

Like our body, our mind also needs appropriate nutrients and exercise to function well and stay healthy.

Human beings are intellectual. If we don’t develop our mind, gain knowledge through education, our potential will be handicapped and limited.

We live in a fast-paced world with all the conveniences that modern life has to offer. Our lives are filled with activities that either don’t give us much time to think or take away our ability to think.

We cannot let the news media, the entertainment and advertisement industry dictate our lives and tell us what we need, what to buy, how to live and how to think.

Garbage in, garbage out. If we let too much garbage and negativity go into our mind, our mind will be corrupted and will produce more garbage and negativity.

We need to care for our mind by paying attention to what we read, hear and watch. We need to nourish and exercise our mind by using them to learn, to grow and to think.

We become what we think. A healthy mind brings a healthy life.

Human beings are also emotional and relational. We cry, laugh and feel. We need affection, kindness, encouragement form each others. Our emotional status and the quality of our relationships can determine our quality of life.

Among the four dimensions of life, spiritual dimension is the most controversial and the most difficult one to understand because its existence is not as obvious as the other dimensions.

But something that we cannot see and touch can still exist. It’s important to understand that what’s visible is temporary, but what’s invisible is eternal.

Every human being has a longing from the depths of the soul that cannot be fulfilled by anything in this world.

If we can humble ourselves enough, we will realize that we need faith in order to live a more meaningful life at a deeper level, to become a complete, whole human being, to live life to the fullest.

Without faith, our lives are empty and meaningless.

Without faith, we end up wondering how to make sense out of life and out of the world around us.

In her memoir “A House with Four Rooms,” author Rumer Godden says, “There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.”

“Mind, body, and spirit act in concert to determine health and well-being,” said Dr. Carl Thoresen.

If we can get the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual balancing act together, it will be easier to find balance in other areas of life.

As we celebrate Christmas and the birth of Jesus this week, let us focus more attention on the spiritual dimension of our life.

Let us find the real balance in life: body, mind and spirit.

Gifts from the heart

2008-12-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 12/17/2008

Recently, a lady from the church I attend gave me an early Christmas present at our book club gathering.

Cindy, an art teacher, is very creative. She made every woman in the group a bookmark with unique designs and different colors in the shape of a cross.

While I marveled at this beautiful handmade glass bookmark and at her creativity, I was also touched by her thoughtfulness and by this very special present, created specifically for each one of us.

What a great idea and a special present, I thought.

I like the idea of giving gifts from the heart and I like presents that are handmade.

Likewise, I know there are people who think it is cheap to give presents that are not store bought but handmade. They put a value on the present based on the price tag.

I know people who complain about presents they receive that are handmade. Because handmade presents usually don’t cost much in monetary value and don’t have a price tag, some people think they are not worth much, therefore they are not valuable.

For me, it is not the price of the present, it is the thought that counts.

For people who share the same value with me, here are some gift ideas that can be handmade and special.

If you like to write, you can write a letter or a poem to someone. Instead of sending a Christmas card with just a signature, write something personal. Share your thoughts and memories about the person. Elderly people will specially enjoy this kind of presents.

If you like to knit, you can make hats, scarves, mittens, socks or sweaters for people.

If you like to sew, you can make reusable fabric gift bags. Make them in the shape and approximate size of pillowcases out of fabrics, and use any leftover fabrics to make small bags.

You can reuse these bags every year for giving presents to your immediate family members. This will eliminate all wrapping paper, bows, tags, boxes, etc. year after year.

Other people will also appreciate receiving reusable fabric gift bags as presents.

If you like to do quilt, make a quilt for someone. It does not have to be so elaborated like the ones you see at the state fair, you can make a small and simple quilt.

Another lady with the name Sandy in the church once made an outfit for my daughter’s doll and also gave her a small quilt and tiny pillow for her doll. They were special gifts for us.

If you like to take pictures, you can make blank cards or a calendar using the photos you took yourself.

If you are good at working with digital photos, you can create a photo collage or a movie for people using their old and new photos. As it is often said, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” this is a great way to show someone’s life in pictures.

If you like to do scrap booking, make a photo album for a family member.

If you’re an artist and like to draw, make a picture or a portrait for someone.

If you like gardening and planting, give people plants that you have cut and grown from your own plants.

If you like to bake, bake come cookies, a cake or bread for someone.

If you like to cook, prepare a meal for a friend.

If you are a handy man, you can give someone a gift certificate for future repair and service in the area you are good at.

Everyone has a gift, a God given talent. We are all creative in our own ways. We don’t have to be artists to be creative.

If you really can’t think of anything creative or don’t know what you can create, how about creating coupons that offer free babysitting for a young family, or housework, yard work, cooking or snow shoveling for an elderly person or a get-together with a lonely person?

I wish to live in a culture in which we value handmade items, where we don’t judge people’s heart by how much they spend on us and where we do not feel embarrassed to give gifts that do not have a price tag

I want to be in an environment where we can cultivate more creativity and eliminate more spending and wasting, where we are encouraged to give what we have in us, not what we buy in stores.

I hope we can get back to the true meaning of Christmas and get away from the materialistic view of today's world.

Gifts, which do not come with price tags, can be priceless and more precious.

Advice for small business owners

2008-12-10T21:31:00.001-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 12/10/2008

The current economic crisis hits hard for every business, big and small, from multinational corporations such as Citigroup to local small and home businesses.

I think it is especially difficult for small businesses that provide products and services in an increasingly competitive environment that we face today.

I am not a business owner, but I have experience dealing with small businesses. I would like to offer a few examples of common sense advice for small business owners based on my own observations.

Honesty is the best policy

Being honest in dealing with customers is the single most important thing to do as a business owner.

Trust is built on honest relationships. Do not, in your desire to make some extra money, cheat someone. Doing so will only cost you more in the long run.

Some years ago in Madison, Wis., I brought my car to a repair shop to get something fixed. The owner charged me more than he should. Maybe he thought I was a female, a minority and didn’t know anything, so he could rip me off.

When I found out that he overcharged me, I went back and confronted the owner. He gave me $40 back and said angrily, “Don’t come back again.”

I was not a fool. I wouldn’t go back even if he begged me.

Something similar also happened to me here in Woodbury. I brought my car for an oil change. The mechanic put some liquid in my car and charged me almost $20 for it.

Later when I confronted the manager, she said it was not necessary and refunded me the money.

Then through a friend’s referral, I found a small repair shop in St. Paul. The owner is very honest. He charges less than others.

If he thinks something does not need to be fixed, he tells the truth. He doesn’t try to make money by doing unnecessary repairs.

Even though he is farther away than the repair shops in town and because I trust him more than anyone, I would rather go to St. Paul for car repairs.

Let quality speak for itself

You can say as much as you want about how good your products and services are, but it is far better and effective to let your products and services speak for themselves.

I see quite a lot of advertisement and media publicity about a local auto shop.

But how can they expect me to believe and trust them when something like this happened: They claimed to have rotated my tires, but they didn’t do it.

Regardless of why it happened, I had to question their quality of work.

Even just one simple mistake can seriously damage your reputation. So make your quality count.

Keep your customers’ interests in mind

It is understandable that as average human beings we have our own best interest in mind.

But as business owners, you also have to keep your customers’ interests in mind. You cannot serve your own interest while sacrificing your customers’ interests.

If you can serve your customers above their expectations, they will be happy and come back. So always keep your customers’ best interests in mind as well as your own.

Think long term

Yes, you can make some quick money by cheating someone for some time, but you won’t be able to cheat everyone all the times.

Sooner or later, people will find out.

So, if you plan to stay in your business for a long time, you have to think long term and make wise choices.

Don’t just think about your profit today, but think about tomorrow and the future too. Only then can you grow and prosper.

Show respect and gratitude

In our competitive world and environment, there are many businesses that provide same or similar kinds of products or services as you do.

People have a lot of choices. They can go to different places for their needs and wants.

Why would people come back to you? How do you make people come back to you and stay loyal to you?

One way to do that is to show respect and gratitude. Let your customers know that you value their business and appreciate their loyalty.

Word of mouth is the best advertisement

Businesses spend a lot of money on advertisements.

While advertisements in local media are useful to make your businesses known to the public, I believe the best and most effective advertisement is the word of mouth.

If your customers are happy with your products and services, they will naturally refer their friends to you.

Personal testimonies from people we know have more power than anything we read in print.

And best yet, it’s free. It doesn’t cost you anything.

Give back to the community

As a business, you depend on the local community to survive. And your local community also depends on local businesses to thrive.

If there are any local programs you are interested in, support them in ways you can. Help their fundraising efforts.

By giving back to the local community that makes your business survival possible, you will be rewarded with more and loyal customers.

If you can put these common sense advices into practice, I think your business will do better than many others and also do well in the long run.

Less perfect, more carefree

2008-12-10T21:25:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 12/03/2008

During the holiday season, I find more and more articles with headings such as “Flawless Thanksgiving” or “Perfect Christmas” appearing in newspapers, magazines or on the Internet.

As someone who is not a perfectionist, my immediate reaction after reading such headings is, “It’s not for me.” I often skip reading those articles.

I would rather have a “stress-less” or “carefree” holiday than a “flawless” or “perfect” one.

I think if our goal is a “flawless” and “perfect” holiday, we can set ourselves up for more stress and some disappointments.

Yes, we can plan ahead and be creative. We can spend less, shop less, buy less, cook less, wrap less, waste less, do less and be stress-less. We can try our best to create “the most memorable” Thanksgiving or Christmas.

But to have it “flawless,” “perfect” or even “stress-free” is a sure way to more stress and some disappointment.

In my opinion, our perfectionist attitude can also create a barrier for people in deepening their relationships.

I remember a few years ago I was looking at an old photo of my parents eating a meal with some relatives in their small apartment. Instead of enjoying my parents’ smiling faces and looking at the wonderful food they had prepared for the relatives, my first thought was, “Look, how cluttered the place is! The cabinet in the background was full of stuff on top of each other. It is embarrassing to have guests there!”

Then it hit me. I shouldn’t have had such a thought. I knew nobody at the dinner table paid any attention to the clutter in the background.

In the old days, we didn’t have telephones. We often visited relatives and friends without notices in advance. A lot of things we did were spontaneous. If we felt like it, we simply walked to someone’s home for a visit.

It wasn’t in our conscious mind at that time that we couldn’t have visitors over because we were not prepared for having visitors, or because our home looked messy and cluttered, and therefore was not presentable or embarrassing.

Only after living in the U.S. for many years and have visiing many “flawless” and “perfect” looking homes did I become aware that my home is not as “flawless” and “perfect” as others are.

I don’t have my interior designed by a professional. I don’t have expensive sets of furniture. I don’t have fancy decorations. I don’t have matching curtains. I don’t have masterpiece paintings on the wall. I don’t use a white table cloth. I don’t use a centerpiece. I don’t have a perfectly clean kitchen because I cook every day.

Even though I personally don’t care about any of these things I don’t have and use, and I don’t care about how perfect or imperfect others’ houses are, my non-perfectionist attitude and my imperfect house do create a barrier more or less for me in terms of hospitality.

I am not a big party person, but I do enjoy talking with individuals and getting to know people. I enjoy sharing some conversations with people over a simple meal.

But when I go to parties, and see so much emphasis focused on the perfect setting, the perfect food, the perfect of everything, I feel inadequate when doing the same thing.

When we focus so much on appearances, we have to spend lots of time and energy on cleaning, decorating, shopping, preparing, cooking so we can have a perfect party or a perfect holiday.

Then more and more we shy away from doing parties, because it is too much work and becomes too overwhelming.

So, people get together less often and become less connected. There are fewer quality and deep relationships.

The more perfectionism I see in others, the more distant I feel.

I know I am not the only one who feels stressed by the perfectionist attitude in our society.

A friend whom I considered a perfectionist once told me she felt more relaxed when she visited other people’s homes that were less than perfect.

Perfectionism can certainly make our own lives and others’ harder and more stressful.

I would rather live my life in a less perfect and less stressful way than having things flawless and perfect with more stress and anxiety attached.

Like many things in life, we just can’t eat our cake and have it, too.

If we want to enjoy our holiday with less stress and craziness, then we should let loose or let go some of our perfectionism.

I wish you all a stress-less holiday season!

The love letter - the kids’ reaction

2008-11-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 11/26/2008

In my last column, I wrote about my love letter to my son which was the parents’ homework assigned by his fifth grade teacher at Liberty Ridge Elementary, Mrs. Lynda Caughron.

Mrs. Caughron has been a teacher for 23 years. More than 10 years ago while working on a project, she got the idea of asking parents to write a love letter to the students in her class.

She had so much positive experiences and feedback that she has kept doing it ever since.

“The love letter gives me the opportunity to learn more about my students early in the year through the eyes of the people who love them the most,” Caughron said.

“It helps to create a special bond and connection between each student and me. It helps to establish a more personal relationship, because I know something special about each person.

“This in turn creates a safe environment for students to learn, to share and to grow.”

Caughron can recall many times when she laughed and cried with her students.

“Kids grin from ear to ear when I read their parents’ thoughts and compliments. It is always a memorable experience.”

I was curious about the reactions from the students. I wanted to look into their minds and hearts and find out what they think of the love letter and how they feel about it.

Thanks to Caughron and her class, I was able to peek into their world and in the process learn a few valuable lessons on how to be a better parent.

Every child wants to feel special, happy, and loved.

Most kids say that the love letter makes them feel special, happy, and loved. I really like some of the expressions they used.

“When my parents wrote me that letter, it made me feel very warm inside. I felt so special. My mom and dad obviously care about me very much. The letter was dripping with compliments. It was an awesome letter. I love my parents so much, and I know they love me just the same.”— Danny Aboyan

“It made me feel so great. I can’t describe it. I was all smile after Mrs. Caughron read the letter to me. I felt happy and fuzzy. It feels good to hear someone praise you. It reminded me that they love me and they always did and always will.” — Megan Ball

“The love letter … made me feel so special. Like I was the only person on Earth that was loved. And hearing those words, ‘We traveled half way around the world to adopt our wonderful daughter,’ just made me feel invincible. And I was reminded how much they truly love me.” — Nichole Dopkins

“I felt special. I was quite touched. I felt a burst of happiness. I felt quite excited. It made me think of how much they care about me always. I might have been a bit embarrassed. My favorite part was when my mom said that I am a very special young man.” — Aaron Duebner

“I was feeling very teary. I just wanted to cry tears of joy.” — Allison Schneider

“When I started to read the letters, I started to go back in time. I held back tears, because I never knew how many good things my parents had to say about me.” —Molly Hickey

“I felt happy reading the letter I almost thought I was going to cry.” — Dominik Ruzicka

“Wow! My parents really really really love me.” — Sam Phipps

Every child wants to be complimented, known, understood and valued by his parents.

Naturally, some feel nervous, anxious, even scared or frightened in the beginning because they didn’t know what was in the envelope or what their parents said about them.

“As Mrs Caughron slowly opened my letter, I was frightened. I was anxious to see what lied sleeping waiting to be awaken. As I read this I had a smile across my face.” — Julie Abjean

“At the beginning, I was very scared. … But then when I saw the letter, I cooled my jets and smiled. They wrote things that made me happy. At the end, … I think wow, they do know me!” — Erin Cheatham

“It felt good. I haven’t had anyone ever compliment me like that.” — Shannon Calkins

Kids feel proud when they hear positive comments.

When parents tell others about the good things their kids have done or the things they are good at, it makes them proud.

“Proud because my brother considered me as his best friend.” — Kyle Walters

“I felt a little bit embarrassed but very happy about some of the achievements written in the letter. The letter also brought back some very happy memories.” — Grant Feuer

Don’t be afraid to make your child do things.

Many parents let their kids make the decision and do what they want. I think it’s OK to make kids do things they don’t like to do, if you think they will benefit from that.

“I know my family loves me! I also know they will always love me! My mom made me start playing softball two years ago. I had lots of fun. She also made me start playing the trumpet. I’m glad she made me do softball and trumpet. I love my family!” — Mackenzie Ryan

I wish I had space to include every student’s response from Mrs. Caughron’s class here. But even just these selected responses are enough to demonstrate why Caughron has used this idea for years and why it has been a huge success.

I hope during this holiday season, you will take some time to write a love letter to your child or someone you love. This is one of the most precious gifts you can give.

I am sure every receiver will treasure this kind of love letter.

The love letter - a parental project

2008-11-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 11/19/2008

Being out of school for more years than I can remember, my homework days would seem to be long over. So doing homework was not on my mind when I went with my kids to their school open house at the end of August.

Unexpectedly, my son’s fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Lynda Caughron at Liberty Ridge Elementary, gave every parent a sealed envelope containing a homework assignment for the parents.

“Your homework assignment is to write your child a ‘love letter,’ describing all the wonderful things about your fifth-grader. Brag about your kid to your heart’s content, but please keep it a secret from your child. I will read it with your child at a private conference. Your child will know in early weeks of school that I have knowledge of their ‘special’ characteristics and virtues that might not otherwise be discovered until later or never revealed in the school setting.”

You would think you know your child better than anyone on earth. It should be easy to write about him/her, right? But it was not an easy homework assignment for me, I have to admit.

When you live with someone day in and day out and know that person intimately, you tend to think more about problems and weaknesses. You focus more on what the child should do, but is not doing, and what he is doing, but should do better or differently.

We don’t really take the time to think about and appreciate the good qualities of that person.

When I asked my daughter about her strengths to give me some inspiration for writing to my son, her response was: “I don’t have any strength, I have muscles.” So that wasn’t much help.

I kept putting it off during the first week. I wasn’t sure what to write.

In the second week, I couldn’t procrastinate any longer.

I didn’t want to set a bad example for my son by turning in homework late. And I didn’t want him to be the only kid in class whose parent didn’t do the required assignment promptly.

So I made myself to do the homework. But once I started writing the letter, it wasn’t that hard at all. Ideas kept coming and I ended up with a letter three pages long.

First, I told him that I am very thankful to have him as my son. I listed some of his good characteristics.

He is a nice kid, well behaved and mature. He is a gentle person, a good big brother and a hard worker.

I told him that I am glad he knows more than I do in some subjects. I shared an anecdote about our visit to the American History Museum in Washington, D.C. in June 2007.

At that time he had just completed third grade and was very interested in all U.S. presidents and the 50 states. He could name all the presidents and knew their exact order.

While we were sitting on a bench resting, there was a TV nearby with the presidents flashing on the screen. He named all the presidents as fast as the pictures appeared.

When we were ready to leave, a woman sitting next to us said to me, “I was amazed by how much your son knows about the presidents. I am a teacher and my sixth grade students don't know as much as he does.”

I continued in my letter: “This shows you can be really good at anything you are interested in and spend time working on. I hope you will take that same enthusiasm and hard working attitude to other subjects and areas in school and in life.”

Then I suggested that he set some goals for himself in the new school year and provided him with some ideas.

I could have stopped here, but I felt I needed something else to make this letter more authentic, something that comes from my heart and soul that could touch his heart more deeply. So I continued:

“As your Mom, I have high hopes and expectations for you. I ask you to do things I think are good for you, which are not necessarily what you like to do now.”

“I try to be the best Mom I can be for you, but parenting is a learning process for me. It’s a hard job. We are in this together.

“I know I make lots of mistakes, some I am aware of and some I might not even be aware of. I know I don’t have patience and often yell too much at you for not listening to me or for making repeated mistakes, even though I understand that nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.

“I am really sorry if I have hurt you and I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. No matter what wrongs I have done to you, please remember, I don’t intend to hurt you and I love you very much.

“And no matter what you do, I will always love you, because you are my son and I am your mom, forever.”

I spent several hours writing the letter. And before I sent it in, I spent another hour adding some stickers and a picture to decorate the letter and make it more interesting. I was very happy with the end result and felt great that I did it.

I am also thankful to Mrs. Caughron for giving parents this homework assignment.

Through the letter, the teacher gets to know each child and each family better. This creates a special bond between the teacher and the child.

The thoughts and feelings parents share in the letter can make their child feel special and loved. This strengthens the parent-child relationship.

In the end, everyone — the teacher, the child and the parent — benefits from this letter.

(I will write about students’ reactions to the love letters in next week’s column.)

Room to read, books to share

2008-11-15T22:06:00.001-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 11/12/2008

Every time I visit my children's school or a public library, I think about how fortunate the kids are in this country. They have books — lots of books — to read.

I marvel at how nice a library can be. So many books!

I am surprised to see how many books each teacher has in her own classroom. All are available for students to use and read.

How I wish I had grown up in this kind of environment where books are so readily available for everyone, rich or poor.

But I didn’t have the fortune as a child growing up in China. My parents were not rich enough to buy me books.

I didn't have money to rent books on the street, as it was common then. I didn't go to a public library. Books and reading were not a part of my early life.

Several years ago when I first read about John Wood and his “Room to Read” non-profit organization, I felt really inspired and still do today.

That's because I very much appreciate the work he does in order to meet the educational needs of millions of children in the developing countries, to have books to read and to gain a good education.

Wood is the founder and CEO of Room to Read and the author of an award-winning memoir, “Leaving Microsoft to Change the World” (2006).

In 1998, Wood was a senior executive at Microsoft when he took a vacation in Nepal that changed his life.

The defining moment happened when he was invited to visit a local school and was shocked to see the poverty.

In the so-called “library,” there were no desks, no chairs, no shelves. The few books available were so precious that they were kept under lock and key — to protect them from the children.

Wood made the decision to come back with books. But he did much more than that.

One year later, he left Microsoft to start an organization that had no brand recognition and no capital. What it did have was his passion and energy.

What started as a vacation in the Himalayas became a spiritual journey, and then a mission: to change the world one book and one child at a time.

Room to Read's goal is to provide educational access to 10 million children in the developing world, to help them gain the lifelong gift of education.

Room to Read strives to break the cycle of poverty through the power of education.

Currently in Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Sri Lanka, Laos, Bangladesh, South Africa and Zambia, Room to Read works with rural communities to build schools, establish bilingual libraries and computer labs, publish local language children’s books, and provide long-term scholarships to girls.

Room to Read has several programs. And there are different ways people in this country can help and get involved. One of them is the “Students Helping Students” campaign.

Students Helping Students is designed to further global education, understanding, and philanthropy in the hearts and minds of the students, teachers, and parents who are interested in partnering with Room to Read.

Through this campaign, students can learn about the geography, language, and cultures of other countries.

They can learn about the daily lives of the children they are helping. They also learn to value the books and the education they have, and learn to appreciate their own good life. They can develop leadership skills, creativity, and the courage to get involved and make a difference by helping others.

Since inception in 2000, Room to Read has opened 444 schools, established over 5,630 bilingual libraries and 155 computer and language labs, published 226 new local language children's titles representing over two million books, donated over 2.2 million English language children's books, funded 6,922 long-term girls’ scholarships.

So far, Room to Read has impacted the lives of over 1.9 million children (and counting) worldwide.

Room to Read began as one individual’s vision to share his love of reading with children of a rural Nepali village and has now become a global movement of promoting literacy and education. The organization is now one of the fastest growing non-profits of the last decade.

Wood has been recognized as a "21st century Andrew Carnegie." [Andrew Carnegie helped build over 2,500 libraries in the United States and around the world in the early 20th century]

I think Room to Read is a great charitable project for our schools to get involved in. By partnering with Room to Read and raising funds for its programs, students can learn some valuable lessons and do something good for the society.

Like Bill Gates, John Wood is my hero. He has inspired me. And I know he has inspired many others worldwide and will continue to do so.

John Wood is changing the world. So can you and I.

For more information about John Wood and Room to Read, visit www.leavingmicrosoftbook.com and www.roomtoread.org.

We’re hooked on high tech

2008-11-06T20:15:00.001-08:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 11/05/2008

Lately, my 1999 Dodge Caravan has been acting weird. It really worries me.

While driving to and from work this past week on highway, the interior light — including the dashboard light — suddenly flashed like lightning in a second. At the same time I could hear the automatic door clicking.

The same thing happened a couple of times, maybe a year ago. But this time it happened with more frequency.

I called a Chrysler dealership to ask what the problem could be. I thought the mechanics would be able to give me some ideas of what the possible causes were, how serious the problem was and if it was a really urgent problem that I had to stop driving right away.

But the person I talked to could not, or would not, give me any ideas about the problem or how serious the problem was. He only said he had to do a diagnosis in order to find the problem.

I could certainly understand the reason why he didn’t want to say anything about the urgency of the problem without looking at my van.

But I was a little frustrated that he couldn't tell me what the possible causes were based on the description of the problem.

To be safe, I made the appointment to get the van checked on the same day I called. A computer diagnosistic was done as well as test driving. But no problem was found.

I knew something was wrong. It had happened again on the way to the Chrysler dealership.

But the expert couldn’t find the problem and couldn’t tell what the problem was. Money was spent without the problem being fixed.

I did get some peace of mind and the advice: It’s fine to drive. Just bring it back when the flashing happens again.

This reminds me of something I have noticed after living in this country for a while. Some people rely so heavily on external devices that they become almost handicapped without them.

Let me give a few examples to show what I mean.

I have never seen my grandmother or my parents cooking with a recipe. And I don't cook with recipe either. But I have heard some people here say that they don't know how to cook without a recipe. They can only go by the book.

No wonder there are so many cookbooks here.

This could be a cultural difference, but could also be a generational difference.

Several years ago while I was at a grocery store checkout line, the power went out. It was interesting to watch what happened. The cashier didn't know how to give change without the cash machine.

Now, I am not good at math at all. Honestly, I can’t solve some math problems my fifth grade son is learning.

Yet, I have no difficulty calculating changes using my brain. It’s actually easier and faster to do so than using a calculator.

But in this country or in our modern society, we are so dependent on calculators and computers that some don't learn and know how to use the brain to do calculation.

The most obvious example comes from the medical field. Many of our modern doctors cannot diagnose a problem without medical devices.

If you have a health problem, the doctor will ask you to do a lot of different tests in order to do a diagnosis and find a problem. If the tests can not find any problem, then you have no problem, at least from the doctor's perspective.

A few years ago, I had a health problem with my heart. I felt especially uncomfortable at night. I went to see a doctor.

He couldn't find anything wrong. He said he would have to put me on a 24-hour monitoring in order to find out. That was too much testing for me and I didn't do it. Luckily the problem went away without any medical intervention.

I think a good doctor should be able to give some ideas of what the problems could be and what the causes could be based on the description of the symptoms.

But a lot of doctors now are so specialized in their own areas that they can't see the whole picture, and they are so dependent on medical devices that they can't tell anything without first doing some tests.

No wonder the medical cost gets higher and higher, because we are doing more unnecessary tests.

I remember my old days in China. There were not many medical devices. Doctors didn't do many tests. They often made diagnosis based on their own experiences and their five senses.

They asked more questions. They looked at your skin color or your tongue, listened to your heart beat, and felt you pulse, etc. They could tell where and what the problem was.

Here is a paradox of our modern society.

On the one hand, we are more advanced in technology. We invent great things and seem smarter.

But on the other hand, we become more handicapped and less smart. We only know how to push some buttons and let the computer or other devices tell us what it is and what to do. We are helpless without them.

Meanwhile, if any mechanically talented reader has an idea of what my van's problem could be, I would be interested in hearing about it.

At least I can then tell the Chrysler dealership where to look for the problem and possibly to fix it. I don’t want to drive my van and have to worry about safety for myself and other people.

I still think our human brain is smarter than the computer, because we can think while the computer can only do what the brain has programmed it to do.

Help (lines) in times of need

2008-10-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 10/29/2008

• 9-1-1

We all know to call 911 in an emergency. Dialing 911 from any telephone will link the caller to an emergency dispatch center which will provide the caller access to police, fire and ambulance services.

In most areas, dialing 911 on a traditional landline telephone automatically gives dispatch the caller’s address.

This provides emergency responders with the location of the emergency without the caller having to provide it. This is very useful in times of fires, break-ins, kidnapping and other events where communicating one's location is difficult or impossible.

(I found that out years ago when I wrongly dialed 911. I hung up the phone immediately after I realized that I made a mistake. A few minutes later, to my surprise, a policeman showed up at my door to check if everything was OK.)

But many people probably don’t know that there are other Federal Communications Commission (FCC) designated telephone numbers available for non-emergency use.

In times of need and for various reasons, like some in our community are now experiencing due to loss of job or house, we can call these numbers to get help.

• 2-1-1

211 is used in the U.S. and Canada to provide quick and free information and referrals to health and human service organizations. It allows people to get help and give help.

Every day, people are in need of essential human services — food and clothing, affordable housing, healthcare, employment resources, childcare and parenting programs, senior and youth services, counseling, education, utility and financial assistance, immigration, legal help, transportation, volunteer/donation opportunities and other vital community services.

211 connects individuals and families in need with the appropriate community-based organizations and government agencies.

It is an easy way for people in need to navigate the complex and ever-growing maze of human services.

It ensures that people in need can obtain assistance from the most appropriate community-based organizations or local and national government agencies.

In Minnesota, United Way 2-1-1 works in partnership with other organizations to provide 2-1-1 services statewide, using a statewide database of over 40,000 community resources.

It’s free, confidential and available 24 /7. Multilingual service is also available.

211 also provides a single access point in the event of a local disaster or national emergency.

In 2007, the 211 call center coordinated disaster relief and case management after the I-35W Bridge collapse. It was instrumental in providing assistance to the victims and their families after the disaster.

If calling from a cell phone, use 651-291-0211 (metro) or 1-800-543-7709 (outstate).

For more information, visit www.211.org, http://211us.org, or www.211unitedway.org.

• 3-1-1

311 is used in the U.S. and Canada for non-emergency municipal government information and services. Since 311 is a relatively new service, it is not widely used. In Twin Cities, people living within the Minneapolis city limits can call 311 to access city services and information.

For more information, visit www.311service.org or www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/311/

• 4-1-1

411 is used in the U.S. and Canada for local and national directory assistance. If you want to know what the address of a building is, or the telephone number of a company, you can all 411 to get the information. 411 calls are not free.

• 5-1-1

511 is America's traveler information telephone number. It is a transportation and traffic information telephone hotline in some regions of the U.S. Travelers can dial 511on traditional landline telephones and most mobile phones.

511 gives commuters and travelers access to information regarding weather-related road conditions, construction and congestion, 24/7.

In 2000, the FCC approved 511 for nationwide use along with 211. Minnesota Dept. of Transportation is one of the first state DOTs to implement the 511 service.

The following information is available in Minnesota via 511 call or 511 website (www.511mn.org): road conditions, traffic incidents, current construction, public transit in Minnesota, commercial vehicle permits and restrictions.

Traffic cameras in the Metro Area and many locations in greater Minnesota provide images of traffic and weather conditions for 511.

• 6-1-1

611 is used in the U.S. and Canada for phone service customers to report a problem with telephone service or with a payphone. Many mobile phone service providers also use 611 as a general customer service number. The 611number is not officially assigned by the FCC. Only customers of some telephone companies have access to it.

• 7-1-1

711 is used in the U.S. and Canada for access to Telecommunications Relay Service (TRS). TRS permits persons with a hearing or speech disability to use the telephone system via a text telephone or other device to call persons with or without such disabilities. 711 lets these people talk through an operator, by turning the words into something that can be read on a telecommunications device for the deaf (TDD).

I hope I don’t need to use these phone numbers and services, but they will certainly be handy in times of need. So I thought it is good to know and worth to share with others.

[Editor’s note: In case you’re wondering if there’s a general “8-1-1” number with a distinctive function, the answer is no. 811 used to be a direct line to the business office of the specific telephone company providing service on the line. 611 took the place of 811 in 2007.]

Peace in times of trouble

2008-10-22T21:46:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 10/22/2008

When I called my parents this past weekend, my 75-year-old father sounded very upset. And I can understand why.

Both of my parents have lived frugally through their whole life, first out of necessity, later more out of habit. They lived below their means and saved as much as they could.

A few years ago, my brother took my parents’ money and invested it in the stock market, with the good intention to make some more money for them.

For several years, the interest rate kept falling and the stock market went up like crazy in China. Everyone wanted to get in the market and no one wanted to be left out of the easy money making game. It didn’t make sense to have money sitting in the bank and lose value.

Now with the stock market crash in China and around the world, my parents lost a lot of their savings. They didn’t even know how much was lost. My brother didn’t want to tell them.

I feel sorry for my parents and for their loss. It was their hard-earned money and their life savings. My parents know nothing about investing and just wanted safety with their money.

But I don’t blame my brother for what he did. He had good intentions. I just wish he had listened to my father when father asked him to take the money out when the market was doing well.

I offered my father a few words of comfort.

“Everyone is losing money in this market meltdown worldwide. If you leave the money in the market, it will come back some day. If you need money for living, I will certainly help you out whenever I can.”

Knowing my father’s personality, I doubt that my words could ease his anxiety and reduce his high blood pressure.

I wish my father could feel the calm and peace that I have.

Over 10 years ago, to be more self-dependent, I learned about personal finance and investing. I started to invest in my retirement account through my employer, later when I had kids, also in their college savings accounts.

So, over the years I have accumulated some money in various accounts. Like everyone else, my accounts went down in the recent weeks. But the market meltdown has not bothered me. I have not checked how much I have lost.

And I have certainly not lost any sleep over it. That’s because I know something my father does not know and we are in different life-stages, too.

Here is what I know that keeps me calm and in peace.

I know investing is for the long term. When I first learned about investing, I used to check the stock market quotes in the newspaper to find out how my mutual funds were doing. Then I stopped doing that.

Why should I waste my time and care about the short term performance of the market?

I know investing has risks. The stock market goes up and down. It doesn’t just go one way.

I know the advantage of dollar-cost averaging to reduce risk. When the market goes down, the same amount I allocate to invest can buy more shares.

I know the rule to buy low and sell high. This is not a time to panic or to sell. It is actually a good time to buy.

I know not to follow the crowd, in investing as well as in life. I don’t want to do something because everyone else is doing it.

If something is very hot and popular in the market, then it’s time to be cautious. It is likely too late to follow.

Most of all, I know I am a child of God and I am in His hands.

No matter what happens in the stock market and in life, no matter how much money I have or lose, I will be fine.

Because He is the rock on which I stand, everything else can be sinking sand. I know it is better to surrender than to worry.

Had my father known all that I know, I think he would not be as upset and anxious as he is now.

Please help me pray for my father and everyone else in difficult financial situations for peace and serenity in this time of trouble.

Let us remember the “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Education is a joint venture

2008-10-15T20:05:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 10/15/2008

I firmly believe that our children’s education is a joint venture and a shared responsibility done by students, parents, teachers and society, all working together to make a difference.

• Students

Learning and getting a good education is important for each child. All students need the full support of their parents, teachers and society to reach their full potential.

If we want our kids to do well in school, we need to have parents who value education, teachers who are passionate about their work and a society in which intellectual achievement is recognized.

• Parents

A parent is the first life-long teacher for a child. As parents, we have the responsibility to teach our children, starting as early as possible.

I know moms who practiced fetal education during pregnancy. They talked to their babies or let their babies listen to music while still in womb. The results show that fetal education is effective. As far as I can tell, these kids are very smart and talented.

For most parents, though, education becomes an important issue only after the babies are born or when they reach school age. It’s never too late to start. And it’s better late than never.

It’s our job as parents to provide a good learning environment for our children and to be good role models for them as life-long learners.

We can read to our children, take them to libraries and buy them books as gifts instead of toys.

We can help them with homework, get involved in their school activities, go to the teacher conferences and have good communication with teachers to stay informed of what’s going on in the classrooms.

A teacher friend in an urban school system once told me that many of her students’ parents don’t come to the teacher conferences.

A parent whose son was very much into all kinds of sports once said to me: “I don’t teach my son at home. It is his teacher’s job.”

If parents are not interested in their children’s learning, don’t value education or don’t respect teachers, it is hard to expect these kids to do very well in school.

Then these parents often blame teachers or schools for not doing a good job if their kids do not do well in school. I think it is not fair for the teachers and schools.

Teachers don’t bear the whole responsibilities of educating students. Parents play an even more important role.

So, if our children don’t do well in school, we have to first ask ourselves how we are doing as parents, not point fingers at others at the outset.

• Teachers

Teachers certainly have one of the most important jobs in the world. They have the power to change and transform lives.

My own life is a good testimony to that incredible power and influence teachers have over their students.

I can say without any exaggeration that I wouldn’t be here today had I not met my high school English teacher. He was my English teacher for only one year, but that one year determined my future and changed my life forever.

He was the best teacher I have ever known. He could transform an average student to an excellent student. Thanks to him, I had the fortune to go to one of the best universities in China.

Even though he passed away a few years ago, I still think of him often, with deepest gratitude for what he has done for me and all of his students.

When I think about what made him such a great and special teacher, several things come to my mind. I believe all great teachers share some common characteristics.

Good teachers are passionate about the work they do. They dedicate their lives to their profession and their students. They do more and give more than the average teachers. They go the extra miles.

They are good because they know how to teach and are good at what they do. They can make a boring subject interesting.

They can awaken interest in students who are not interested in the beginning. They have the respect of students. They care about their students. They treat them like their own kids.

They are generous. They give their time, their knowledge and wisdom, and resources often bought with their own money to the students.

They are good teachers because they are good people in the first place. Their own lives are an inspiration for the students. Because of them, students strive to do better and be better.

I feel so lucky that I had a teacher who embodied these characteristics. Because of him, I did better than I would have done without him.

• Society

Parents and teachers play important roles in a child’s education. But the society and the culture in which we live in are also important.

I think in American society, we value athletic achievements more than academic achievements. We idolize athletes to the extreme. That’s why many young people and their parents spend much more time and efforts in sports than in learning.

We idolize a lot of things and people that lack substance.

I remember many years ago while I was a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, I met a women from Germany. When I asked her what she thought of this country, she said she didn’t like it here, because “America has no culture.”

America as a country does not have a long history, comparing to Germany or other countries. America certainly has a lot of pop culture, but in her view, lacks substance.

I hope we could have some cultural shift in this country. We would put more value on education and academic achievement.

Maybe some day, those people who win Nobel prizes can at least enjoy the same social status as some celebrity athletes, if not more. These are the people who will leave a bigger legacy for the mankind. And they deserve more recognition and respect.

China: A different story

2008-10-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 10/08/2008

Generally speaking, the news reports about China have been very negative in the U.S., and usually for good reason.

Government corruption, pollution, religious prosecution, food and product safety problems illustrated by the recent recalls of tainted toys, pet food and baby milk power are just a few areas in the news regarding China.

As a native Chinese, I really feel bad about all these problems.

In my previous columns, I have talked about my life in China, growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, about its hardships.

Life was incredibly difficult back then, due to the dictatorship under Chairman Mao, his political movements and natural disasters, too.

But I hope all this didn’t give you the impression that China is still a poor country or everything about China is negative.

Today’s China is a very different country than the one I knew as a young person. It is totally different from the one I left 22 years ago.

Not long ago, I met a university professor who visited China for the first time. He knew some history about old China, but not much about modern day China.

He told me: “I was so na?ve about China before my trip.”

The trip was an eye-opening experience for him.

I am sure most people who watched the recent Olympic Games in Beijing were very impressed by the opening ceremonies and the performances.

I don’t go back to China often. The last two times I went back were in 1998 and 2005. I was so surprised by the changes. It was just unbelievable.

Even people who go back to China more regularly see big changes immediately.

Many Chinese families live in Woodbury. When our parents come to visit us here, one comment I have heard more than once is: Minnesota, or Woodbury, is like the countryside.

Minnesota and Woodbury certainly can not compare with places in China when it comes to population, traffic volumes, tall buildings, businesses, restaurants, entertainments, etc.

China is a very vibrant and dynamic country now. The whole country is under construction. Big and tall buildings, houses, highways, railroads, shopping centers and entertainment centers, etc. are being built everywhere.

China is moving from dictatorship to more democracy, from stagnation to growth, from low tech to high tech, from poor to rich.

One can probably think of China as someone in their youth, rapidly growing, while the U.S. is more like someone in middle age, things are slowing down. One is at sunrise; the other is at or past noon and approaching sunset.

While most people still think of China as a third- or second-world country, in some respects China is actually more advanced than the U.S.

Take public transportation, for example.

In the last two or three decades, China has been building its infrastructure. New roads, highways, bridges, airports, railroads, and subways are being built at a rapid speed.

Many roads and bridges in the U.S. are deteriorating. The infrastructure is aging and hasn’t been kept up in this same time period.

In the U.S., it could take 20 or 30 years to build a highway or finish a project. But in China, it takes much less time.

China has convenient and efficient mass transit bus systems in cities. One can basically go anywhere on buses.

Bikes are still popular transportation tools, not mainly for leisure like here.

Taxis are everywhere. You can catch one on the street by waving your hand.

Major cities have built or are still building subways. Even my hometown Suzhou (next to Shanghai) is building its own subway system.

China has an extensive railway system. One can travel across the country by train. Railway stations are usually in a busy part of town. Big cities may have more than one train station.

Even though air travel has increased in popularity, travel by train has always been and still is the most popular and economic way of traveling long distance in China.

When I was in college in Beijing in early 1980s, I use to take a train to go home once or twice every year. I think the train ride took a day and a night, in a sitting or standing position.

Now, express railways exist between major cities. The express train between Beijing and my hometown lasts only a night’s sleep.

The new high-speed Beijing-Shanghai express railway is under construction. It is planned to be 819 miles long and will be the longest single-phase high-speed railway ever built in the world. Its top speed is expected to be 220 mph, cutting Beijing to Shanghai travel time further down from 10 hours to five hours.

You can travel from Beijing to Tibet by train. It is 2,525 miles and takes 48 hours.

Shanghai has the fastest and largest commercial high-speed maglev line in the world. The Shanghai Maglev Train can reach 220 mph in two minutes, with a top operational speed of 268 mph. It transports people 18.6 miles to the airport in just seven minutes, 20 seconds.

True, China still has a lot of problems. But China has also experienced big changes and improvements never seen anywhere else in the world.

In this vibrant and dynamic environment, you can expect a lot of surprises, some good and some bad.

The media reports about China can easily create a very negative image of the country. To see and experience China from a different perspective, to hear a different story, one should really visit the country.

Otherwise, one could become na?ve about China, just like the professor admitted.

Become a well-informed voter

2008-10-02T20:32:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 10/01/2008

The 2008 presidential election is just one month away. Are you ready for it?

I know some people are not. In fact, I am one of them.

When my kids recently asked me for whom I am going to vote for president, I had to say, “I am not really sure.”

The truth is, I have not done much research and reading about the candidates.

Lack of time, lack of political knowledge or lack of interest in politics can all be my excuses, but I know one excuse I cannot use is lack of information.

There is a huge quantity of information available on the Internet that can help people become well-informed voters.

The Internet is a wonderful thing. I consider the Internet to be one of the greatest inventions in human history, something that has changed every aspect of our lives, including elections.

It has made it so much easier for voters to be fully informed about who the candidates are and where they stand on different issues.

But the Internet is also the world’s largest rumor mill and there can be a lot of misinformation out there as well.

Have you ever forwarded an e-mail message a friend sent you, only to find out later that it contains inaccurate information?

I have done that — I unintentionally participated in the spreading of misinformation through forwarding interesting messages or chain letters.

Most times it is harmless. Occasionally, it can be a little embarrassing.

A friend of mine has the habit of checking forwarded messages at Snopes.com [www.snopes.com], a definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.

I learned from her that forwarded messages or chain letters often contain misinformation. So, be careful what you read.

While you can find information on virtually anything on the Internet, there is no guarantee that the information is accurate. Therefore it is also important to look for information that is published by a legitimate source to ensure that the information is authentic and credible.

As responsible citizens, we have the obligation to become informed before we vote.

We cannot base our decision on rumors, misinformation, or on candidates’ TV commercials.

Now we are facing an overload of candidate information.

How can we sift through the massive amounts of information and find the credible sources and sites to make the research process easier?

I hope the following sites will be helpful in your research on the candidates.

• To get information straight from the major candidates and their parties, you can start with their official websites.

Barack Obama:

www.barackobama.com

John McCain:

www.johnmccain.com

The Democratic Party:

www.democrats.org

The Republican Party:

www.gop.org

• Project Vote Smart (www.votesmart.org) provides comprehensive information about candidates, from biographical information, voting records, issue positions, public statements to campaign financing.

Politicians are good public speakers. They will say things to get elected. But what they say may not match what they have done in the past.

Project Vote Smart provides access to congressional and state voting records. You can pull up the voting records of the candidates and find out what and how they voted on key issues in the past.

• At the state level, you can also go to the Legislative Reference Library website (www.leg.state.mn.us/lrl/issues/ratings.asp) to find Minnesota legislator voting records and ratings and to see how current legislators voted in the past.

• Brookings Institution (www.brookings.edu/projects/opportunity08/Candidate-Views.aspx) offers a series of charts outlining the candidates' positions on the most critical topics facing America's next President.

• Federal Election Commission (www.fec.gov) lists campaign finance reports and data that have candidates’ statements of income and information about campaign contributors.

• In Minnesota, all state candidates must file with the Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board (www. cfboard.state.mn.us) regarding campaign contributions.

• On Minnesota Public Radio’s “Select a Candidate” Internet site (http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/select_a_candidate), you can learn which candidates are most closely aligned with your views by answering a series of questions about major issues.

• On the official U.S. Congress website (www. congress.org/election/home/), you can easily find your federal, state, and local officials by entering your ZIP code.

The site provides comprehensive information about elections and provides key candidate positions. It also has legislative voting history.

• On the Issues (www.ontheissues.org) ranks candidates on a variety of issues.

• OpenSecrets.org (www.OpenSecrets.org) from the Center for Responsive Politics is the nonpartisan guide to money’s influence on U.S. elections and public policy. It has fundraising profiles for candidates and congressional members.

• Politifact.com (http:// politifact.com) analyzes candidates' speeches, TV ads and interviews to determine whether their claims are accurate.

• Spinsanity (www.spinsanity.org) is a nonpartisan watchdog dedicated to unspinning misleading claims from politicians, pundits and the press.

The bottom line is, do not believe everything you read or hear in the media. Do some research and become a well-informed voter.

Then you will have the confidence that you cast you vote in a responsible and informed way.

Open your heart, Part 2

2008-09-24T21:43:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 09/24/2008

[Editor’s note: This is the second half of a two-part column.]

This is a continuation of my last column which ended with these words: “If you don’t express yourself, you depress yourself. And to heal your heart, you have to open your heart.”

“To heal your heart, you have to open your heart” is a phrase I read in a book on meditation, This is a simple yet profound truth.

Nobody is born with a heart that is closed. All of us were born with a completely open heart. Newborn babies and young children have open hearts that radiate love and innocence.

An open heart is like sunlight. It radiates love and warmth that nourishes everyone it touches. But like the sun, the heart is often closed in or obscured by clouds.

As we grow up, the bumps and bruises in life gradually train us to protect our tender and vulnerable emotions with a layer of toughness and defensiveness. Over time, this protective layer or clouds gets thicker and it gradually encloses the heart.

What are the clouds that can close our heart and keep it closed? They include fear, anger, resentment, disappointment, judgment, doubt, sadness, sorrow, grief, separation, helplessness, hopelessness, etc.

Many people experience painful and desperate situations in life. We see no way out, no hope and no future. We keep ourselves closed, isolated and chained.

When we are too overwhelmed by these negative emotions, we become depressed.

Discovering a way to express yourself and release these negative feelings is the first step in healing your broken heart.

To heal your heart, you have to work on you heart, not just on your body or your mind.

It’s not enough to work on the mind by changing your thinking, or work on your body by taking some drugs.

True healing of a broken heart can only happen by working directly at the heart level.

Here are some suggestions I offered my friend suffering depression, which I mentioned in my last column.

• Open up

Instead of thinking you have problems you can’t talk about and share with others, find someone to talk to, either a trusted friend or a professional counselor.

Through talking with someone, you can release a lot of negative emotions that have built up inside.

I know when we share our struggles and problems, we will not be laughed at. Quite in opposite, we will not only help ourselves, but also strengthen others in their journey of life.

When we share our struggles and problems, we help others to put their problems in proper perspectives. People can also pray for each other which provides comfort and encouragement.

• Write down

If you really don’t have anyone to talk to, another way to express and release yourself is journaling to let your depressing and negative thoughts out of your mind and body.

Once you write down those negative thoughts and feelings that have occupied your mind and closed your heart, you will feel lighter and better.

• Look in

A friend can give you a shoulder to cry on, a place to pour your heart out and some comfort, but a friend can not give you everlasting peace and joy. This is something only God can do.

Search for and find God in your own way, through reading, through church, through meditation.

In our modern society, most of us are living a more outward, materialist- and ego-centered life. We really need to live a more inward, heart- and spirit-centered life.

Why do we care so much about what we wear and how we look outside than what we feel deep inside? We are not what is on our skin, but we are what is in our heart.

• Get out

Get out and do something that will take your focus away from yourself and your problems.

Meet with friends. Go to church. Help at non-profit organizations. Do some volunteer work to benefit people who are less privileged than you are.

Learn something new. Pursuit a hobby. Simply get out and do something. Just don't stay home and be isolated. It will only make your depression and health conditions worse.

• Find support

Whatever your problem is, whether it is alcohol, drug, or porno addiction, cancer or other diseases, marriage or relationship issues with your spouse, parents or kids, you can probably find self help support groups out there.

In a support group, members help each other through common problems and shared experiences.

Support groups can provide social networks, relevant information, and venues where members can share personal experiences, listen to others’ experiences, and get sympathetic understanding, validation and encouragement.

• Get help

We have to understand that all human beings are imperfect and have problems in life. We need help.

It is not a weakness to say I need help. I can’t do it on my own. We have to take away our ego and pride and seek help with a humble heart.

If your condition doesn’t improve through self-help, then it’s time to get professional help. Find people who are knowledgeable in what they are doing.

• Be creative

Expressing ourselves doesn’t have to be verbal or in writing. Some people can express themselves better through singing, dancing, painting, crafting, and other art forms.

I think the important thing in opening and healing your heart is to express yourselves in whatever forms that can best suit your personality and situations. The key is not how, but just do it, in your own way that is best for you.

The good news is my friend is doing much better now.

I would like to think that the time I spent on the phone with her and the few advices I gave her was helpful in some way.

Open your heart, Part 1

2008-09-17T20:46:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 09/17/2008

[Editor’s note: This is the first half of a two-part column.]

Recently, I was on the phone with a friend whom I had not seen for more than 10 years.

After listening to her talk for a few minutes, I realized that she was dealing with depression.

She said she didn’t want to get up, go out of the house and talk to people. Her heart was broken. She felt that everyone’s life was better than hers. And she did not want to talk to others about her problems.

I am not a doctor or psychologist, but I know that these are the symptoms of depression. Approximately 20 million Americans suffer with depression. Nearly twice as many women as men are affected by depression.

When I pointed that out to her, she admitted that she did have depression and it was causing her physical problems as well.

Two things my friend said struck me. I quickly realized that she was wrong in her thinking and behavior. And I was not afraid to speak the truth to her.

In some way, we all make the same assumptions and mistakes.

First of all, we tend to think that we have worse problems than anyone else and everyone else is having a better life. We are all deceived in that thinking, the grass is greener on the other side.

I read a book titled “Everyone is Normal Till You Get to Know Them.” The title really says it all.

We think other people are better off with their lives, with their relationships, with their marriages, with their careers, with their finances, etc.

The fact and truth is we just don't know them well enough to think otherwise.

Whenever I have a heart-to-heart conversation with other people and get to know them on a deeper level, it always reminds me how deceitful the world is.

Everyone experiences so much pain and problems in life. Many are crying inside, from the deep pain and suffering. The pain and suffering are often beyond what our eyes can see and our mind can understand.

As human beings, we can easily get stuck in our thinking and problems.

Our real problems may be small in the real world of problems, but the more we think about them, the bigger they become.

We keep thinking about the same problems over and over, in the process the problems become bigger and we become more miserable.

Then physical and mental diseases will follow inevitably.

We are what we think. If we think we are miserable, then we are miserable.

If we think we are OK and happy, then we are OK and happy.

The second problem is we have been taught “Don’t air your dirty laundry in public.”

We are not supposed to embarrass ourselves and our families by revealing our problems to anyone.

But the fact is when we have anger, resentment and problems that we bottle up inside ourselves and don't talk with anyone, sooner or later, it will cause mental and physical problems or disease, i.e., disharmony of body, mind and spirit.

Medical science has proven that emotional problems cause physical illness.

When we experience problems in life, we shouldn’t feel so shamed and embarrassed that we don’t talk to others and seek help.

Who has no problems? Everyone has problems.

Everyone is not “normal” in some way and every family is dysfunctional in some way.

I like what someone said, “To heal your heart, you have to open your heart.”

If you have a physically sick heart, you probably have to do an open-heart surgery. If you have an emotionally- or psychologically-sick heart, the same solution applies.

You have to open your heart in order to find healing and relief. You have to open your heart to heal your heart. It’s that simple.

If you have a troubled or broken heart, if you feel pain inside, whether it’s anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, sorrow, fear, anxiety or depression, you can’t close your heart and expect the pain to go away.

It will do you more harm. The first step in the healing process is to open your heart.

If you are depressed, you need to find ways to express yourself, not further depress and suppress yourself by closing your heart and isolating yourself.

Personally, I don’t believe in using drugs as the first step to heal a broken heart and depression. All drugs have side-effects.

In my next column, I will talk about opening your heart and expressing yourself to heal your heart and depression in a more natural and healthy way.

Meanwhile, please remember, if you don’t express yourself, you depress yourself.

And to heal your heart, you have to open your heart.

Boredom: causes and cures

2008-09-11T21:26:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 09/10/2008

“I am bored!”

I think most parents with school-age children have heard these three words many times in the last three months over summer break.

Boredom is not a word in my vocabulary. I rarely feel bored. The only time I might feel bored, or to use a more appropriate phrase, “out of place,” is when I am among people who talk about something I am not interested in at all.

That’s why whenever I hear my 10-year-old son Andy saying: “I am bored,” I don’t have any sympathy for him. For me, there are always enough things to do to not feel bored.

On Labor Day afternoon, I was cutting Andy’s hair to make him a little more groomed for the new school year. I had barely started, it was only a couple of minutes into the process, when I heard him complaining: “I am bored. Can we be done now?”

I was irritated and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

Certainly, I knew there is nothing wrong with my son. He has no ADHD or any other health or mental problems.

Andy is just a normal, active boy with lots of energy. He likes to run around, bike and play with other kids or toy guns.

But he can also be quiet for a long time when he has an interesting book to read or when he plays with Legos.

I think the widespread boredom phenomenon in our society is the result of our entertainment and consumer culture.

Boredom is usually caused by a lack of variety. When our need for changes of stimulation is not met, when there is too much sameness, we feel bored.

However, that’s not the cause of boredom in our society today. Quite the opposite, the main causes are affluence, over-stimulation, and excessive and constant entertainment.

• Too much affluence and convenience

When our lives are too good too easy, when we have too much too soon, when we “had it all” or “seen it all,” when everything is too convenient to obtain and little effort is required to do anything, we lack motivation and become bored.

• Too much TV and screen time

Research suggests that children under 2 years old should not watch TV. But in reality, many babies spend hours in front of the tube. We have a whole generation growing up in front of TV and with video games.

The visual over-stimulation have caused short attention span and ADHD in many children.

• Too much stimulation and entertainment

We are bored, not because we don't have enough stimulation and entertain, but because we have too much stimulation and entertainment.

Our consumer culture has trained us to always move onto the next target. We are always on the go for the next bigger, better and nicer thing,

The entertainment industry not only targets adults, but also children. We don’t need to go to Las Vegas to gamble and play games.

Kids can have birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese. All they do is playing games.

When we were at Wisconsin Dells, a family friendly vacation destination, I saw kids playing games.

They need less than a minute to play a game on a machine. They constantly go from one machine to another.

I was struck by how hyper kids are when they play games in these entertainment places.

When we rely on external mean, such as popular entertainments such as TV, gambling, games to entertain us, when we are accustomed to the over stimulation, we can easily become bored when we have nothing to do or nothing to entertain us, because we don’t know how to entertain ourselves through our own initiation and creativity.

• Too little purpose and passion

We have too much stuff in our house, but not enough purpose and passion in our life. When life becomes meaningless, when “whatever” becomes our answer to all questions, boredom sets in.

Boredom is the “disease of our time.” It is the “deadness of soul."

Boredom leads to all kinds of addiction, increased aggression, and risk taking.

In his book “Still Bored in a Culture of Entertainment: Rediscovering Passion and Wonder,” author Richard Winter offers several ideas to tackle boredom.

The include: remember the big picture, delight in the simple and ordinary, cultivate wonder, develop strong interests, actively engage instead of passively expecting others to initiate, turn to God who can transform lives and provide a passion for living.

I agree, the ultimate way to avoid boredom is to live a meaningful, purposeful and passionate life, whatever that meaning, purpose and passion is for you.

The hurdles to being healthy

2008-09-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 09/03/2008

I love summer in Minnesota. One of the reasons for that is I can work in my garden and grow my own vegetables.

This year, I have garlic chives, green onions, lettuces, Swiss chards, cucumbers, peppers, beans, tomatoes and squashes.

For almost three months in summer, I can eat fresh organic vegetables from my garden. I have been eating a green salad every day for lunch for the last two months.

It feels good to eat organic home-grown foods. Fresh organic food provides the best nutrition for the body. Consuming home-grown food is also good for the pocket and for the environment.

As summer comes to an end, I am again reminded of the challenges and difficulties to eating and staying healthy that we face here in the United States, especially in Minnesota.

• Short growing season and cold weather

When the growing season is over in Minnesota, there will be no more fresh home- grown food. We have to eat food that is grown in another region or country and is transported hundreds or thousands of miles to us.

Their quality and their nutritional value are certainly not as good as those grown in my own backyard.

During winter time, not only do we eat less fresh food and more junk food, we are also less active. Most times the cold weather keeps us indoors. It’s so easy to add a few extra pounds in winter.

• Unhealthy diets and poor eating habits

When I compare eastern and western diets, and the times when I grew up with the times now when my kids are growing up, I see more challenges.

Growing up in China in the 1960s and 70s, my family was poor, like most people at that time. Since there were no refrigerators, my mother had to get up around 5 a.m. every day to buy groceries at the farmer’s market.

There were times she even got up in the middle of the night to wait in long line in order to buy food in scarcity. Meat, eggs, oils, sugar, rice, etc. were rationed.

Both of my parents worked full time. But they still cooked three meals a day. We ate mostly vegetables.

We never went out to eat. We didn’t eat canned food. Buying fresh vegetables and cooking from scratch was our way of every day living.

In our traditional Chinese diet, we didn’t have desserts like in the western diet.

We didn’t eat cake or ice cream. We had fruit as dessert.

Only during special holidays like the Chinese New Year, I got to eat candies or other treats.

Thanks to my healthy traditional Chinese diet, I never developed any sweet tooth. To this day, I have no desire for candies, chocolate, ice cream, cake, or other sweets. This has really benefited my teeth and overall health.

I have no caveats. I remember a dentist once commented: “I wish everyone had such good teeth as you do.”

But things are different now.

Even though I don’t buy and eat much junk food, I still eat more than I used to.

When I go to a party, when someone in the office brings a treat, there are always sweets. It’s hard not to try some.

It’s worse for my kids.

When my son started school, the first year he brought lunch from home. Starting with first grade, he refused to bring lunch from home and wanted to eat school lunch like most of other kids.

One day not long after he started school lunch, my son asked me after dinner: “Mom, what’s for dessert?” I realized he was westernized in his diet. I said, “We have fruit. You can eat as much as you want.” But I knew that was not what he meant with dessert.

Our school lunch is not very healthy for our kids. It is basically fast and convenient food. I don’t blame this all on school though. It’s a problem in our society.

The schools offer healthy choices. The problem is kids prefer junk food. My kids would much rather eat pizza than home cooked healthy meals.

I don’t usually buy candies, but we always have more candies than I like.

My kids grow up with candies and love them. They just got a bag of candies from Woodbury Days. Soon the Halloween candies will arrive, then holiday chocolates, Valentine’s candies, and Easter chocolates.

It’s hard not to develop some sweet teeth in this environment. No wonder my kids already have several cavities at such young age.

• Lack of personal responsibility and self-control

In addition to dealing with these challenges and difficulties we face in our society, we also have to deal with personal issues.

Sadly, I found many people lack personal responsibility and self-control.

My mother has diabetes, she is very careful with eating sweets. She doesn’t eat much except a little fruit. But I see plenty of people with diabetes still eat candies and cakes, drink sodas more than they should.

With my two kids, both born in the U.S., sometimes I feel like fighting a hard and losing battle. They grow up in this environment. They are not going to eat as healthy as I like them to.

I only hope I can be a good role model for them in terms of eating and living healthy, and hope they will one day make their own healthy choices instead of me telling and forcing them to eat vegetables every day.

Aiming for greatness

2008-09-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 08/27/2008

When it comes to raising children, what is your goal?

Like many parents, I don’t have a clearly defined goal in my mind.

Also like most parents, I want the best for my children. I want them to get a good education, have a good job and make a nice living. I want them to be successful and happy in life.

What is success?

In our society, success is often defined as having wealth, power, fame and beauty. Be the first, the best, and have the most.

There is nothing wrong with this goal. But is this enough? Is that all I want my children to be and to have?

I know the answer is “No.” I know there is more to life than being successful and having wealth, power, fame and beauty.

Though I wasn’t very clear what more I wanted for my kids, in 2002, when they were four and two years old, I started taking them to Sunday school after being invited by a church at Woodbury Days.

At least I understood the importance of living a balanced life of mind, body and spirit, and a balanced life of outward success and inward fulfillment.

Recently, I read “Raising Kids for True Greatness” after a friend invited me to a group discussion based on that book by Tim Kimmel. The book helps redefine success in parenting. It also helps clarify what my parenting goal should be.

True greatness, Kimmel writes, is “a passionate love of God that shows itself in an unquenchable love and concern for people. It is based on grace. Its attitudes are humility and gratefulness. Its actions are generosity and a servant attitude."

True greatness is exemplified by love and service for others as opposed to accomplishments for oneself. Successfulness should not be the primary goals we set for our children, we should aim for greatness.

Every child has the potential to make an extraordinary difference in life.

It is the parent’s job to aim for greatness and significance and raise our children who will use their talents, their skills and their lives to make a real difference in the world.

I know in many families, we parents put too much emphasis on our kids’ academic achievements. We focus on their school report cards, their grades, their scores, or their extra curricular activities while neglecting the aspect of building characters.

We like to compare, compete and control.

We feel good when our kids are doing well. We feel like failures when our kids don’t meet our expectations.

When we prepare our kids for success as defined in this world, the focus is on what is in it for me, how can I be the first and the best, and have the most.

This helps create a self-centered attitude in our kids.

People are truly great, attractive and valuable, not because of outward appearance and possessions, but because of inward qualities.

Success as the world sees it is an illusion. It is short-living and does not bring true happiness.

Successful people come and go. But the truly great people touch lives and their impact and legacy last forever.

We all know Mother Teresa. She was not beautiful, wealthy and powerful, and didn’t achieve fame by worldly standards.

Yet she was one of the greatest people who have lived on the earth. The legacy she left is way beyond what success can bring. She touched lives and made a difference in the world.

Mother Teresa had the qualities that identify a truly great life: humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude.

After I read the book, I have a more clearly-defined goal in raising kids.

It should not just be helping my kids achieve success, but, more importantly, aiming them for greatness.

I need to teach them humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude. In addition to providing them with a secure love, I should also help them find their significant purpose in life.

“Raising Kids for True Greatness” not only gives me a better understand of a higher goal in raising kids, it also challenges me to better myself for a simple reason.

Before I can teach my kids the qualities of humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude, I have to learn myself first in order to be a role model for them.

So aiming for greatness is not just a goal for my kids, it is a goal for myself as well.

Society’s biggest problem

2008-08-20T21:38:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 08/20/2008

In my July 2 column, I wrote about what I think is right in our society.

To provide a different perspective, in this column I would like to share what I think is society's biggest problem — one we are facing today.

It is disconnection.

It is the disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other and from nature.

It is the disconnection between body, mind and spirit, and the disconnection between our outward success and inward satisfaction.

As human beings, we are wired to connect.

But we are so busy doing things and being entertained that we are losing human and spiritual connections.

We are so preoccupied that we don’t have quiet time to recharge ourselves, to connect with our inner beings, to connect with the high power, to connect with nature.

We are so focused on success and things that we neglect what is really significant and important.

We are so prosperous and arrogant that we think we can do everything and all on our own. We want to be independent rather than interdependent.

Our conventional medicine and current health care (or more appropriately disease care) system focus only on diseases in our body, on medical and surgical interventions to treat illness instead of taking the natural, holistic approach — seeing the body, mind and spirit as interrelated and connected.

In the age of constant digital connectivity and multitasking, we are over-connected technologically, but under-connected and under-communicated relationally.

Technology makes electronic communication so easy, convenient and instant that we prefer e-mail over a phone call and a direct talk. We are losing the face-to-face communication and human connection.

We are more intelligent and advanced, but we do not necessarily have more emotional intelligence to know better how to connect with people, how to deal with people and solve conflicts.

So, in many situations, we simply stop talking and communicating altogether.

We have over-scheduled kids, but under-connected families.

We have so many activities and things to do that we don’t have time to eat family meals together and talk to each other.

We guard our right to privacy and value our individuality so much that we don’t easily share our stories and lives with each other, and we are losing the sense of community.

We might have a hard time choosing an emergency contact for our kids, because we don’t really know the neighbors around us very well and don’t have really good friends who are close.

We might have a hard time finding someone or don’t feel comfortable contacting someone when we face a crisis and need help.

We might have a hard time sharing our real-life stories with our friends.

We might have a hard time sharing our real concerns and problems with our partners, our parents or our children.

Yes, we may have a lot of friends, both near or far away, real or virtual, but how many of our friends do we really know and how many of them really know us?

Yes, we may talk to a lot of friends, but how much of the talk is the heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul talk?

Yes, we may have achieved great worldly success and material possessions, but do we feel fulfilled and satisfied deep in our hearts?

These are questions only each individual can answer honestly for him- or herself.

And I will not be surprised if many people say, “No, I don’t really have such intimate relationships. No, I don’t feel happy and satisfied.”

Human beings are social and relational. Relationships and human connections foster health and wellness in body, mind and spirit, while lack of social support and disconnection leads to loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, despair and illness.

As a result of our disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other, and from nature, we more or less live isolated lives.

No wonder more and more people are suffering from anxiety, depression, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, from physical illness and behavioral problems.

More and more people are paying big bucks to professionals so they can have somebody to talk to and share their problems.

A counselor or a psychologist may be able to help an individual. But I doubt they can help solve this big problem in our society.

I think it’s up to every one of us to try to reconnect what has been disconnected, and to recreate a strong sense of community.

Without connections, we would all get lost in this world.

By the way, I encourage you to go to the Woodbury Days this weekend. This annual event provides us an opportunity to meet and connect with others in the community.

I will be there Saturday, helping at the shared booth of Minnesota JingLun Chinese School and Acupuncture of Woodbury from 9 a.m. to noon, then at the Spirit of Life Bible Church booth from 1 to 3 p.m., and finally at the Woodbury Days Information booth from 3 to 7 p.m.

I hope you will stop by and say hello. I would love to meet all of you personally. Please feel free to share with me your honest comments about this column.

Ask and you shall receive

2008-08-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 08/13/2008

“Ask and you shall receive.”

This is a well-known biblical principle. It is also one of the lessons I have learned in life again and again.

Just last week I was helping someone find an article in a journal. Since itwas a scholarly journal, it is not widely held in libraries. And it was not free on the Internet. It cost over $30 to purchase the article online.

After I did research about the journal and found the information, I could easily pass it on to a co-worker to get the requested article in the traditional way through inter-library loan. However, this process could have taken a couple of weeks.

Instead, I “Googled” one of the author names and found his contact information. I sent him an e-mail asking if he would send me a copy of the article. Within a few hours on the same day, I got the response from him along with the attached article.

I was happy because it saved us time, effort and cost.

What happened was not surprising to me though. I was quite confident that I would get what I asked for. I had similar experiences before. Mostly I get quick and positive responses.

I know authors are willing to share their articles, especially the scholars in academic institutions. They don’t have many followers like best-selling authors do. They are very willing and happy to share their publications.

This incident reinforced my belief in the “Ask and you shall receive” principle. Had I not asked, I would not get what was needed in such short time and without any costs.

I have applied this principal in other areas of my life.

I asked for the opportunity to write this column. I got it without a problem.

I asked experts at the national level for information and advice. They responded with advice or referrals.

I asked for better pay. And I got a raise.

I asked for directions when I got lost. It saved me time.

I asked for items in the grocery store that were not on display to the public. I got them at a better price.

Naturally, I don’t always get what I ask for. But the only way to get what I want or to find out the result is by simply asking.

Oftentimes we don’t receive because we don’t ask. We do so for several reasons.

We don’t ask because we are afraid of rejection.

We are afraid the person we are asking will say no. This is a foolish notion.

By asking, we either get what we want which is better than before, or we get nothing which doesn’t change anything. It can’t get worse, it can only get better. We really have nothing to lose when we ask.

We don’t ask because we are too proud.

We have a big ego. We feel embarrassed and uncomfortable asking for something. We don’t want to look needy, weak, unintelligent or foolish. We want to appear like someone who knows everything, can do everything and rely on nobody.

But that is unrealistic.

We don’t ask because we think we are unworthy of it.

When we have a low self- esteem, we might feel not good or worthy enough to ask and to receive.

The fact is no one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. By asking and seeking help, we can become better and more worthy.

We don’t ask because we are pessimistic and negative.

People with pessimistic and negative attitudes like to say: “Why bother? It’s impossible!”

Anything is possible. We need to have faith and be optimistic when we ask.

Here are a few more thoughts to help increase the chance of success.

We need to be generous and kind to other people when they ask for our help.

“You only receive what you give away.” If we don’t give in the first place, we can’t expect others to give.

When asking, we are making a request, not a demand. We need to do so with a humble heart and a humble attitude.

While we should have confidence in asking and hope for positive results, we should also be prepared for rejection.

We can’t expect success every time. We need to accept rejection graciously. Express gratitude when we receive, and show understanding when we don’t receive.

Listen to that still voice or that gut feeling in ourselves when asking. Follow it instead of ignoring it.

Don’t feel intimidated by people who have more power, status or wealth. Don’t think they are too important or too busy to respond to our request for help. Most people are helpful.

It never hurts to ask. It doesn’t cost anything. There is nothing to lose but possibly something to gain.

We may not get what we ask for, but we will never get what we don’t ask for!

When we ask, we can get more out of life. So much more is ours just for the asking if we dare to ask, dare to dream.

When we stop asking, we stop receiving.

So let’s remember, “Ask and you shall receive” and live this principle in our everyday life.

Teaching my kids about money

2008-08-06T20:32:00.001-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 08/06/2008

When I was 10 years old, I didn’t have a clue about money.

It is very different for my two kids now. Andy is 10 and Amy is eight.

I think they know a lot more about money than I did at their age. In fact, they even make their own money.

No kidding.

I am not talking about getting money from parents or relatives for birthdays and holidays, for good behavior, doing home work or getting good grades. I’m not referring to making money by doing chores at home either.

I’m talking about making real money outside of home by doing real work.

Before you accuse me of child abuse for child labor, let me assure you that this is not the case.

We live in the Eagle Valley neighborhood. Our backyard faces Eagle Valley Golf Course Hole 17. In the past few years we have accumulated some golf balls found on the course.

Two summers ago, I had this idea of my kids selling golf balls in the backyard for several reasons.

I wanted them to learn about money and be financially literate.

I wanted them to understand that money doesn’t grow on trees and isn’t spit out from the AMT machines by itself. You have to actually work hard to earn money and then you get to spend it.

I wanted to teach them how to divide money for different purposes, how to use money wisely and make good choices, how to save for college and other longterm goals.

I wanted them to get out of the house and have something to do in the long summer days. I don’t like to hear them say: “Mom, I am bored. What can I do?”

Both of my kids are not very talkative. Getting out there, talking to strangers and trying to sell something will help them develop some social skills.

Best of all, they can make their own money for some spending. So, we set a small table in our backyard to sell golf balls.

Andy mans the golf stand and does all the talking and selling. Amy helps out sometimes, but she is shy and not so interested in selling.

Our golf stand hours depend on our schedule, the weather and mostly on Andy’s mood. He will do it if he wants to. So it is totally irregular.

Like every business, Andy’s golf stand has good days and bad days. He might not make any money on one day or make enough to buy a game on another day.

I taught my kids to divide their money into four envelopes: 50 percent for college fund, 20 percent for savings account, 20 percent for spending and 10 percent for giving.

For their birthdays or special holidays, I usually don’t buy them toys. Instead, I give them money.

Andy and Amy are good at saving now. Sometimes they ask me: “Mom, can you put my money into my bank account?”

I opened a college savings account for each one of them when they were born. Two years ago, they each opened a savings and a checking account.

Last year, they used their checking account to pay for their own field trips and yearbooks. Sometimes I ask them to contribute towards some purchases, such as school pictures. I think they are proud to be able to pay for their own wants.

Andy is saving his spending money to buy a Lego set.

I teach Andy and Amy not to be impulsive spenders. They always want to buy something when they go to stores with me. I often say no to their requests. They have to get my permission to buy even with their own spending money.

Sometimes I do let them buy a small item impulsively. It is better to allow them to make small foolish choices now than making big foolish choices later in life.

I think my kids are also learning about disappointment, success, generosity and other experiences in life.

Andy is disappointed when he doesn’t make any money. He says, “I don’t want to sell any more. No one is buying.”

But he is also excited when he makes a good deal and gets extra money.

Some people give him a tip. A few told him: “Keep the change for your college!”

I remember one gentleman gave Andy $5 as a tip. Recently, another gentleman gave him $5 without even buying anything.

Occasions like these are rare, but memorable.

These people are so generous. I am very thankful for their encouragement and generosity towards the kids. I wish I could say a personal thank-you to them.

It has been fun for me to watch my kids work and make money.

Actually, I don’t just watch, I have to work, too. I help them find and wash golf balls. The washing part is often the real hard and dirty work.

Hopefully my kids have learned and now understand that money doesn’t come easily. You have to work hard to get it.

A close call on the road

2008-07-30T18:44:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/30/2008

I learned driving in my late twenties when I came to the United States. A friend taught me for a few hours.

That’s all the driving education I had, and I learned just enough traffic rules to pass the test.

Learning new things is always easier and comes more natural when you are young. Anytime you miss the windows of opportunity and the optimum learning time, it gets harder.

Because I didn’t learn driving as a teenager like most Americans do, it wasn’t a natural thing for me. Therefore, I have never developed a love for cars or driving.

In addition, I am a little bit “directionally-challenged.” So I don’t like driving at all, especially to unfamiliar places.

Knowing I am not good behind the wheel, however, has made me a very careful driver. I don’t exceed the highway speed limit, usually driving 60 mph or less.

I have never caused any traffic accidents, nor have I received any traffic tickets — just a few parking tickets.

Once, I parked too close to a stop sign. Another time I parked in the wrong direction on the street. Instead of having the curb on the right side of the car, I parked on the left side. But they were just harmless tickets due to my lack of knowledge about traffic rules.

In my 17 years of driving, I have kept a perfect record on my driver’s license. But that almost changed July 16.

On that Wednesday evening at around 8 p.m., after going to swimming lessons, a library visit and stopping at a store on Radio Drive, my kids and I were on the way home. I made a left turn from Radio Drive onto Valley Creek Road.

Just as I was entering the intersection, the light changed from yellow to red. Instead of hitting my brakes really hard, I kept going.

“Mom, there is a police car!” Suddenly, my kids became alert.

As soon as I turned left on Valley Creek Road, a police car that was right at the intersection flashed its light and followed me.

Once I saw the flashing light in my rear mirror, I knew I was in trouble.

I quickly turned to the right shoulder and stopped. I got my wallet out and held it in my hand. I was ready for the policeman to ask for my license.

In my mind I was hoping that once he checked my driver’s license and found a perfect record, and knew that I am not a repeat traffic offender or a criminal, he might have mercy on me and let me go.

The policeman walked to the passenger side. I lowered the window.

Instead of asking to see my driver’s license, he asked me a question: “What was the color of the light when you entered the intersection?”

I was not sure what to say.

Fortunately, my 10-year old son Andy came to my rescue. He responded quickly: “It was turning from yellow to red.”

I thought: “Good job, Andy!”

The policeman explained because I hadn’t quite exited the intersection when he had the green light, it meant I had run the red light.

I was nervous and waiting for the verdict.

“Here is the deal. I am not going to give you a ticket this time, but I want you to remember that you should be more careful when you drive, for your son’s safety and other people’s safety,” he said. “You need to set a good example for your children.”

No ticket? What a relief!

I was not only relieved, but also very grateful. I was thankful for this policeman for not issuing me a ticket when he could legally do so.

After the policeman left, my son said: “Mom, you didn’t get a ticket because of me.”

He was probably right.

I suppose policemen or policewomen might be more lenient when kids are present. Kids see policemen as heroes, the good guys. So it was possible that the policeman was nice and played the good guy for my kids’ sake.

Yes, the policeman didn’t give me a ticket this time. But I realized that just because I haven’t got any traffic tickets doesn’t mean I will never.

Just because I run a red light and didn’t get caught or ticketed doesn’t mean I can do it again and will never get caught.

I was thankful for the policeman for the reminder to think about the safety of my kids and others and to set a good example for my kids.

I know kids model what their parents do.

I always put on seatbelt once I get into a car. My kids have developed this habit of wearing seatbelts since they were little. Now, if Andy sees someone not wearing the seatbelt, he will remind the person.

Yes, I need to be more careful and be a better law-abiding citizen on the road, for the safety of everyone and for setting a good example.

I was also thankful that my kids witnessed the incident and could learn a lesson, too.

Andy already knows some traffic rules. Once when I turned from Commerce Drive to Sam’s auto shop, he said: “Mom, you are not supposed to cross the double yellow line.”

At age 10, he has already learned traffic rules in school.

Andy has now become a more vigorous monitor of my driving. When I drive with him in the car, he reminds me: “Mom, drive slowly and don’t run the red light!”

He is right. I’d better listen to my son and do everything right to prevent another close call.

I don’t want to get caught for any traffic violations, either by a policeman or by my own family policeman sitting right behind me.

And I intend to keep the perfect record on my driver’s license.

Dealing with the Feds

2008-07-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/23/2008

I think it’s safe to say that, of all the federal government agencies, the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) is the most unpopular one. Or to put it in more plain language and to say it more bluntly, IRS is the most feared and hated federal agency.

At the very least nobody likes to hear from IRS.

But this time, it is different.

Starting in May, the IRS began sending economic stimulus payments to more than 130 million households, thanks to the stimulus package passed by Congress and signed into law by President George W. Bush in February 2008. The law seeks to stimulate business investment, boost the U.S. economy and to avert a recession.

Like everyone eligible for the tax rebates, I was actually looking forward to hearing from the IRS and get my family’s share of rebates.

We received two notices at the end of June and beginning of July. But instead of rebates, we found out that the IRS made a change to our 2007 tax return. As a result, we owed the IRS more taxes plus interest.

Even after our economic stimulus payment was credited to our account, we still owed the IRS money.

This was the first time we heard from IRS in the more than 10 years we have been filing tax returns.

The big adjustment made to our account was due to the unmatched social security number.

I checked the social security numbers on the tax return and they all looked fine. I’ve used them and have not had a problem in the last ten years.

So, I called the IRS to find out how to fix the problem.

I waited on the phone for about ten minutes. Then I spoke with a real person. I gave her the social security numbers from the 2007 tax return. She said one of them didn’t match with the name and I needed to send in a copy of the social security card for verification.

I commented that I never had any problems with social security numbers in the past. Her response was “I am not going to argue with you.”

Before I could ask another question, she hung up on me.

I didn’t even realize that until I finished my question and didn’t hear any response. Our conversation was only about one or two minutes long.

I wasn’t trying to argue with her at all. But her tone of voice and her action were very unprofessional and rude to me.

Later, after getting out all the social security cards and double checking my son’s social security number, I noticed that I had two numbers next to each other in reverse order.

I guess I was too self-confident of doing everything right that I didn’t catch the error, even though I checked it.

Admittedly, I made a dumb mistake. But still, I don’t think I deserved to be treated so rudely by the IRS employee.

Had I experienced this kind of customer service from a private company, I probably would have contacted the company to complain and voice my dissatisfaction.

But what can you do with the IRS? It’s better to stay away from it. I am not going to waste my time and energy to deal with its bureaucracy.

Luckily, when I called the IRS back the next day, I talked to a nice person who said “Please” and “Thank you” a few times. After my explaination, she adjusted my return.

Before I hung up the phone, I said to her: “Thank you for being so nice. I wish everyone at the IRS is so nice like you.”

I don’t fear or hate the IRS. But now I can understand a little better why many people do fear and hate it.

In the last few months I had another frustrating experience with a different federal agency through my job.

In February, I contacted the agency to straighten out a few problems regarding our purchase account.

I called, talked to people, left messages and e-mailed. But so far, after six months of dealing with three different individuals, I still haven’t got satisfied answers to the few questions and problems I have.

For me, they are very straightforward and easy-to-answer questions. They don’t require much brain work. It just doesn’t make sense to me why that is so difficult for them to do.

I can not believe how unresponsive and inefficient these people are.

I know I shouldn’t generalize everything. There are always good and bad employees every where, just like my IRS experience showed. I believe the majority of the fed employees are good. But still, a couple of bad apples can spoil the whole bunch, or leave a bad taste.

I think it’s fair to say that the feds need more accountability check to improve their services and increase their efficiency. They are here to help and serve the citizens. They should do a better job.

For now, I am just relieved that we don’t own the IRS any more taxes and we can receive the majority of our economic stimulus payment soon.

As for my son, he will have to wait for the next tax return to get his share of the rebate, because the amount of economic stimulus payments is based on the 2007 return. Adjustments can only be made next year.

I wish I had not made this one small mistake. Now that I have learned my lesson, I am sure it will not happen again.

Getting back to nature

2008-07-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/16/2008

I grew up in a city in China with lots of people. As a child, I was never exposed to nature, like oceans with endless beaches, mountains too tall to climb for an average person, forests with wild animals.

All my life, I’ve pretty much been an indoor person.

I have never done camping or hiking. I have not done much in the way of sports. I learned to bike in my teens and I learned to swim in my twenties. I hardly do any outdoor activities.

Americans love to label and categorize people or problems. For example, there are many specific terms with the word disorder in them that label various behavioral problems.

I don’t know how many behavioral disorders there are. But surely there are a lot.

Here are just a few that come to my mind: attention deficit disorder, discipline deficit disorder, empathy deficit disorder, imagination deficit disorder, seasonal affective disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, conduct disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, acute stress disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, etc.

I have always felt very lucky that I am pretty “normal” and don’t have any disorders, until I came across the term “nature deficit disorder.” It made me think about myself and my lack of exposure and connection to nature.

Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” coined the term "nature-deficit disorder" in his 2005 book.

Nature deficit disorder refers to this trend that children are spending less time outdoors in nature which results in a wide range of problems, not only for their physical fitness, but also for their long-term mental and spiritual well-being.

Research has showed that kids today suffer health and psychological problems, including obesity, loneliness and depression from too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers, and too little time outdoors with nature.

Children growing up in the digital age are becoming increasingly alienated from the natural world. They detach from the natural world as they spend more time exploring the virtual world.

Their relationship with nature becomes more intellectual than personal. They know about nature, but they experience less nature.

Nowadays, kids are overscheduled with organized sports and other activities. They have less or no time for unstructured outdoor play or imaginative play.

In addition, parental fears and increased consumption of electronic media are also causes for this nature deficit phenomenon.

Nationwide, a back-to-nature movement to reconnect children with the outdoors is gaining ground.

In 2006, the No Child Left Inside Coalition (www.nclicoalition.org) was created to find new ways to encourage kids to experience nature and learn about the environment. It is composed of environmental, educational, and public health organizations dedicated to insuring a comprehensive education for all.

In 2007 legislation was introduced to strengthen and expand environmental education for America's children and to reconnect them with nature.

Congress is reauthorizing the No Child Left Behind law. The No Child Left Inside Act of 2007 (HR 3036 and S.1981) supports the inclusion of environmental education in the No Child Left Behind reauthorization bill.

The No Child Left Inside Act seeks to increase funding for environmental education, to provide new resources and incentives to states to enhance environmental education, to integrate environmental education across core subject areas including science or social studies classes, and to educate young people about the environment.

I like plants and gardening, and I like to walk around the lakes. That’s about all the nature I experience.

Though my knowledge about and connection with nature is very limited, I don’t have any behavioral problems the term “nature deficit disorder” refers to.

That’s why I don’t take the label seriously for myself. However, it did make me realize that something is missing in my life.

It is the outdoor life, the deep love and connection with the wondrous nature, as desired and experienced by so many people in this country and around the world.

I don’t want my kids to have nature deficit disorder due to too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers. I became conscious to do something to get them outside, and to limit their screen time.

When I saw that our school district was going to offer the Community Connections Summer Nature Day Camp, I thought that would be a great opportunity to get my kids outside and spend a week outdoor to learn about and enjoy nature.

The week-long nature day camp was too good to pass. It was not only educational; it was also free, with transportation and simple lunch included.

So during the week of July 7 to 11, my kids and some friends spent each day exploring the great outdoors at Valley Branch Environmental Learning Center (http://valleybranch.spps.org) in Afton. They learned about plants, wildlife, and the Native American culture. The camp provides learning beyond the classroom.

It is the mission of Valley Branch ELC to provide a meaningful outdoor learning experience which promotes life-long awareness toward the care and respect of our world.

I am thankful that my kids can have this wonderful experience provided by District 833 through the partnership with St. Paul Public Schools.

After the second day of the camp, my kids asked me, “Mom, can we go to the nature camp again next year?”

Unable to predict the future, I said, “Hopefully.”

Save by using your library

2008-07-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/09/2008

It is a fact that the U.S. economy is in a downturn or a recession. People are worried about sky-rocketing gas prices and the cost of living, about losing jobs and finding jobs.

In today's economy, saving money becomes more important or necessary for many families.

One way to save money that many people might not think about is through use of the local library.

To loan, not to buy

If you like to read books or magazines, checking them out from the library instead of buying can save you some money.

Most of the books we read are only read once. It makes more sense for me to loan them than to buy them. We normally don’t buy something for only one time use and then let it collect dust.

I have not purchased any new books for myself for more than 10 years. The last time I had to buy a new book was when I was in graduate school. I couldn’t get the textbook any other way.

The more I use libraries, the less need I have to purchase my own books.

Three years ago I went back to China for a visit. I visited an uncle in Beijing. He is a bookworm and loves books more than anything. So he spends most of his money on books.

His multiple homes are filled with bookshelves full of books and CDs. His private collection might be big enough to fill a small library.

While I envy him for owning thousands of books, I am glad that I don't have to own any books myself to enjoy the benefits of reading.

It doesn't matter whether I am rich or poor, whether I can afford it or not, I can use libraries and have access to most books I want to read.

Even if my local library doesn't have what I want in its own collection, I can usually still get it through the interlibrary loan.

That is the beauty of libraries in the U.S.

I don't really care about owning thousands of books. What if I have to move again? That would be a nightmare.

Buy used

If you really like to own your books, you can buy used ones at libraries. You can often find nearly new books for $1 or less.

The Washington County Library has ongoing book sales in most branches. There is also a big book sale at several branches once a year.

Recreation and entertainment

We don’t usually think of library as a place for recreation and entertainment. But libraries offer plenty of services that serve such purposes.

If you want to watch movies, you don’t have to go to movie theaters or rent DVDs from stores. You can get them for free from the library.

Yes, you do have to wait for their release to get them, and you can not get the instant gratification of watching the latest movie, but this is a small price you have to pay.

Libraries have books, videos and DVDs that offer instructional and do-it-yourself lessons.

If you want to use an exercise video for your home exercise, or learn to practice yoga or how to dance, learn a foreign language, check out the resources from the library.

If you don’t have time to read, you can listen to books on tapes while driving or running or walking.

In addition to videos and DVDs, there are story hours all year around for children, and book clubs, meet-the-author or other special events for adults.

In summer, our library offers summer reading programs for kids, teens and adults.

Internet access and computer usage

If you don’t have a computer and Internet connection at home, you can go to any public library to use the public workstations there.

Computer usage is free but it’s usually limited to one hour per day tracked by your library card number.

Remote access

You don’t have to physically go to the library to take advantage of some of its resources.

You can save the time of driving and the cost of gas if you just want to access its catalog and electronic databases, renew materials or ask a reference question. You can do all these online, from your home.

Pass to museums

If you haven’t heard about and taken advantage of “The Museum Adventure Pass,” you should check it out at the library. You can use your library card to receive a Museum Adventure Pass.

Each pass is for two or four free admissions, depending on location, to one of the cultural destinations in Twin Cities, including Minnesota Zoo, Minneapolis Institute of Arts, Minnesota History Center, Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, etc.

If you add up the cost of buying new books, DVDs, CDs, subscribing to magazines, going to movies and museums, you will realize how much you can save by using your local library.

Library services and resources are free to use. They are paid for by people living in the community through taxes. We all pay our share for the library services, why not take advantage of them and use them for our benefits, and save money?

Library use should really be a part of our resourceful living strategy.

What’s right in our society?

2008-07-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/02/2008

In “Dear Abby’s” Oct. 27, 2007 column, a reader asked her what she thinks is the main problem in society today.

In turn, Abby asked her readers to respond and share what they think is society's greatest problem today.

The readers’ response was enormous. Dear Abby shared some of them in her Feb. 5 and 6 columns.

We are certainly not short of problems. The list of problems identified by readers is long:

Lack of personal responsibility and discipline; lack of respect, courtesy and consideration for others; lack of good parenting; lack of communication; lack of forgiveness; breakdown of the nuclear family; greed; “me first" mind-set; intolerance; ignorance; apathy; and isolation.

Then prompted by a reader’s opposing point of view that “it's time to talk about what is right in our society,” Dear Abby posed this question, “What is right in our society?” in her April 11, 2008 column.

So far I have not seen any follow-up columns on this topic. But I would like to share a few thoughts of what I think is right with American society.

First of all, I agree that many social and economic problems exist in our society as other readers have pointed out.

But I also think it's good for us to remind ourselves and others about the positives that exist in our society.

Since I grew up in China and have lived five years in Germany and now 17 years in the U.S., I often see things from different perspectives.

From my own perspective, here are some of the things that I like about America and therefore are my reasons for what’s right in our society.

Love and compassion

Americans show love and compassion to the world through adopting orphaned and special needs children in Asian, South America and East Europe.

One of the two articles I wrote for Woodbury Bulletin before starting this personal column was about a couple who adopted a special needs girl from China, even though they already have three healthy kids of their own.

I am always very touched by people who adopt children in need. Because of my Chinese background, I am especially grateful for people who adopt children from China. These children can live a better life in America because of the love and compassion some have in this society.

Americans show love and compassion whenever disasters happen around the world by reaching out and helping the victims.

Some Americans demonstrate they care through mission work done in remote areas around the world.

Kindness

Acts of kindness are performed every day around us.

A few months ago, I started paying attention to and reading the “Sainted & Tainted” section in a local paper. I enjoy reading about people doing acts of kindness.

Personally, I experienced such an act of kindness during a recent trip to Seattle, Wash.

On my flight, I sat next to a woman from Indianapolis. She was going to meet her husband who was on a business trip in Seattle. She opened her heart to me and we shared a wonderful conversation. This kind of openness and heart-to-heart talk rarely happen now between strangers.

Most people on the plane don’t talk at all.

When the plane landed, she told me that she would ask her husband to give me a ride to my hotel in downtown Seattle.

While I was waiting with her for her check-in luggage to arrive, I met a couple of acquaintances who came to Seattle for the same conference as I and were going to a downtown hotel as well.

I thought it would be less trouble for the woman and her husband if I just shared a taxi with my acquaintances instead of letting them give me a ride. That’s what I did.

Even though I didn’t take the free ride with them, I still felt very thankful for her offer and kindness. I only met her on the plane and we would never see each other again. But her kindness will be remembered forever.

Volunteerism

Americans are the greatest volunteers in the world.

They volunteer in schools, in churches, and in all kinds of non-profit organizations, for the young and the old, for the poor and the under-privileged.

They volunteer in other countries, to teach, to serve and to do mission work.

All the volunteers have made, are making and will make our society better.

Philanthropy

Americans are the greatest philanthropists and givers in the world.

From Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, two of the wealthiest people in the world, to the average Joe, Americans have this unmatched philanthropic spirit. Without this philanthropic spirit and generous giving, America would not be as it is today.

I think about people like Scottish-American businessman and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie. Without him, we might not have so many public libraries in this country.

Between 1883 and 1929, Andrew Carnegie donated money to build 2,509 libraries. Among them, 1,689 were built in the United States, the rest in other parts of the world, including Britain, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, etc.

All these people, named or unnamed, are my heroes in this society.

I think as long as our society still holds on to the Christian roots, many things will go right. Otherwise we can expect more problems to come.