[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 6/26/2007]
When I came to the United States in 1991, I had a couple of suitcases of stuff.
Sixteen years later - after two kids, six job changes, four moves in three states, and especially after moving into the current new house in Woodbury six years ago - the stuff in possession is more than a couple of truck loads now.
I don’t say it with any pride, but with a lot of concern.
Even though I don’t do much shopping, stuff in my house keeps growing and accumulating. I am a detail oriented and organized person. However, there are still countless times when I feel overwhelmed because I can’t find things I am looking for. Things disappear and get lost somewhere in the cluttered house.
As I spent more time organizing things and looking for things, as I feel more overwhelmed than ever by the stuff overflowing everywhere in the house, my concern starts to grow as well.
I realized that a peaceful mind can’t thrive in a cluttered environment. I really need to simplify and declutter my life in order to have less stress and more peace. I need to choose an intentional living and live my life on purpose.
What would a simplified and clutter-free life look like?
As I spend less time on things not so important, I would have more time to do the things I really want to do.
As I have less stuff to organize and keep, I would be able to find things more easily and without much effort and digging.
As my house is kept organized and tidy all the time, I would be able to invite people to my house without being embarrassed and feeling the burden of having to spend a lot of time on cleaning up.
As less things get accumulated which causes less physical and emotional stress, I would feel more relaxed and enjoy life better.
As the energy flows freely through me and the environment around me, I would feel more connected to the Spirit and be more creative and inspired (in-spirit).
As physical and emotional decluttering frees my mind of negative thoughts and feelings, I would be more mindful and be able to live more in the present.
This is the kind of life I would like to have. This is something I need to get started and work on.
There is both good and bad news for me to achieve this goal.
The good news is I know the difference between needs and wants. I don’t have any desire to keep up with the Joneses.
I don’t have the instant gratification mentality. And best of all, as my age increases, my desire for buying things decreases. Lately I don’t do much shopping.
But the bad news is I am a packrat. Even though I wasn’t born or grew up during the Great Depression in the 1930s, I experienced living conditions far worse than the Great Depression.
I was born in the 1960s and grew up during the Chinese Cultural Revolution.
The Depression-era mentality I have developed results in clutter accumulation, because I feel I need to keep everything.
I feel guilty to throw away or waste anything. So my house is packed with items I don’t need or use but can’t bear to part with.
Recognizing and acknowledging a problem is the first step towards solving the problem. It’s a big step to realize and admit that I have a clutter problem and that needs to be dealt with sooner or later.
By decluttering my physical environment, I will have less stress.
By decluttering my mind, I will have more peace. The end results I desire and have in mind will hopefully give me some motivation to get started.
In a future column, I will talk about Feng Shui, an ancient Chinese art of placement and how it can help decluttering our lives.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Lessons, garden style
[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/29/2007]
My last column was about the joy of gardening. In this column, I want to talk about some lessons I have learned from my gardening.
You reap what you sow
This Biblical truth is common sense, but is worth a reminder. The harvest that I reap depends on the kind of seeds I sow. If I sow tomato seeds, I will not reap potatoes.
What I do comes back to me. Whatever I give out to others, others will eventually give back to me. Everything that happens to me is a result of my own actions.
If I treat others with love and respect, others will treat me with love and respect. I reap what I sow in my garden. I also reap what I sow in my life.
There is a time and season for everything
I planted some seeds of a certain vegetable in spring. They grew pretty fast and were ready for consumption within a month.
After they were all gone, I wanted to plant some more. So I planted the same kind of seeds in summer, but nothing came out. I don’t know why the same kind of seeds didn’t germinate at all.
I realized that there is a time and season for planting and harvesting. I have to do it at the right time. If I miss the desired time for planting and harvesting, it wouldn’t be good.
Everything in life has its time and season. If we don’t teach kids certain things when they are little, we can miss the window of opportunities and will not be able to do it when they are older.
More is not necessary better
In May, I planted some Chinese vegetable seeds. Out of my inexperience and greed, I planted more seeds than I should. I wanted more. So I thought the more seeds I planted, the more vegetables I could harvest.
The result was I did get more plants, but they didn’t grow well. Because the plants were too crowded together, they didn’t get enough space and sun to grow bigger and stronger. Instead of growing the roots deep down into the soil, the plants grew skinny and tall to compete for space and sun.
A few seeds landed in bigger space. They grew to be much bigger and better, because they have more space to grow.
More is not necessary better. This truth applies in real life too.
Weeds grow faster than the desired plants
I have to pull weeds in my garden constantly. They grow surprisingly faster than my vegetables. It’s easier to get what I don’t desire than what I do desire.
Good things in life happen slowly and are built slowly over time, while bad things happen quickly without much effort.
We all know it’s so much easy to gain a few pounds than to lose a few pounds. It’s so much easier to start a bad habit than to start a good habit.
I need to watch out for the weeds in my life and snap them before they can grow bigger. I need to work hard on getting the desired plants.
Constant maintenance and care is needed
Any desired plants and garden need constant care. I can’t plant some seeds and forget about them and then expect to reap a good harvest.
Planting seeds is just one of the first steps in gardening. There are a lot more things to do. I have to water and weed regularly to ensure their healthy growth.
The same thing happens in life. I can’t get married and expect the marriage will work out fine without constant work. I can’t give birth to a child and expect him to grow up by himself without raising him properly.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
I need to pull weeds constantly, and do so when they are small so they don’t takeover my vegetable plants or take away the nutrients my plants need. I think mulching is a good idea. A few hours spent mulching is better than many hours weeding.
No work, no reward
My reward comes form my hard work. Without my initial planting of the seeds, watering and weeding them on a regular basis, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the result. I can’t expect reward without putting in any efforts.
No work, no reward. This same principle applies to work life as well as our personal relationships in life.
Life doesn’t always give instantaneous rewards
Gardening takes time and efforts. There is not instant rewards and gratification. Many times, out efforts are not paid off until some time in the future.
Letting go of control
A plant needs soil, water and sun to grow and grow well. I can provide soil and water, but I can’t make the sun shine.
In real life, there are certain things I can control, but there are a lot more things that are out of my control. I need to learn to let go.
Life is a miracle
It’s simply a miracle to watch a plant grow out of a tiny seed. There is nothing more miraculous than watch how living things grow.
First there is the seed, and then a tiny seedling comes out. It grows bigger and bigger in front of my eyes.
Unlike building a house, where I can see how it is build, one brick at a time, I can’t see how the seed grows, but I know it’s growing.
Just as I know for sure, there is an architect and a builder behind the house, I know for sure, there is a Creator behind all living things, even if I can’t see it.
When I realize how miraculous life is, I also realize there must be a Creator in the Universe.
My last column was about the joy of gardening. In this column, I want to talk about some lessons I have learned from my gardening.
You reap what you sow
This Biblical truth is common sense, but is worth a reminder. The harvest that I reap depends on the kind of seeds I sow. If I sow tomato seeds, I will not reap potatoes.
What I do comes back to me. Whatever I give out to others, others will eventually give back to me. Everything that happens to me is a result of my own actions.
If I treat others with love and respect, others will treat me with love and respect. I reap what I sow in my garden. I also reap what I sow in my life.
There is a time and season for everything
I planted some seeds of a certain vegetable in spring. They grew pretty fast and were ready for consumption within a month.
After they were all gone, I wanted to plant some more. So I planted the same kind of seeds in summer, but nothing came out. I don’t know why the same kind of seeds didn’t germinate at all.
I realized that there is a time and season for planting and harvesting. I have to do it at the right time. If I miss the desired time for planting and harvesting, it wouldn’t be good.
Everything in life has its time and season. If we don’t teach kids certain things when they are little, we can miss the window of opportunities and will not be able to do it when they are older.
More is not necessary better
In May, I planted some Chinese vegetable seeds. Out of my inexperience and greed, I planted more seeds than I should. I wanted more. So I thought the more seeds I planted, the more vegetables I could harvest.
The result was I did get more plants, but they didn’t grow well. Because the plants were too crowded together, they didn’t get enough space and sun to grow bigger and stronger. Instead of growing the roots deep down into the soil, the plants grew skinny and tall to compete for space and sun.
A few seeds landed in bigger space. They grew to be much bigger and better, because they have more space to grow.
More is not necessary better. This truth applies in real life too.
Weeds grow faster than the desired plants
I have to pull weeds in my garden constantly. They grow surprisingly faster than my vegetables. It’s easier to get what I don’t desire than what I do desire.
Good things in life happen slowly and are built slowly over time, while bad things happen quickly without much effort.
We all know it’s so much easy to gain a few pounds than to lose a few pounds. It’s so much easier to start a bad habit than to start a good habit.
I need to watch out for the weeds in my life and snap them before they can grow bigger. I need to work hard on getting the desired plants.
Constant maintenance and care is needed
Any desired plants and garden need constant care. I can’t plant some seeds and forget about them and then expect to reap a good harvest.
Planting seeds is just one of the first steps in gardening. There are a lot more things to do. I have to water and weed regularly to ensure their healthy growth.
The same thing happens in life. I can’t get married and expect the marriage will work out fine without constant work. I can’t give birth to a child and expect him to grow up by himself without raising him properly.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
I need to pull weeds constantly, and do so when they are small so they don’t takeover my vegetable plants or take away the nutrients my plants need. I think mulching is a good idea. A few hours spent mulching is better than many hours weeding.
No work, no reward
My reward comes form my hard work. Without my initial planting of the seeds, watering and weeding them on a regular basis, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the result. I can’t expect reward without putting in any efforts.
No work, no reward. This same principle applies to work life as well as our personal relationships in life.
Life doesn’t always give instantaneous rewards
Gardening takes time and efforts. There is not instant rewards and gratification. Many times, out efforts are not paid off until some time in the future.
Letting go of control
A plant needs soil, water and sun to grow and grow well. I can provide soil and water, but I can’t make the sun shine.
In real life, there are certain things I can control, but there are a lot more things that are out of my control. I need to learn to let go.
Life is a miracle
It’s simply a miracle to watch a plant grow out of a tiny seed. There is nothing more miraculous than watch how living things grow.
First there is the seed, and then a tiny seedling comes out. It grows bigger and bigger in front of my eyes.
Unlike building a house, where I can see how it is build, one brick at a time, I can’t see how the seed grows, but I know it’s growing.
Just as I know for sure, there is an architect and a builder behind the house, I know for sure, there is a Creator behind all living things, even if I can’t see it.
When I realize how miraculous life is, I also realize there must be a Creator in the Universe.
The joy of gardening
[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/22/2007]
I like plants and enjoy planting and gardening. A few people told me that I have a green thumb.
I think it’s more a compliment than the truth. I really don’t have the knowledge and skills of a master gardener. Nevertheless, I find great joy in gardening.
I grew up in the city where there were a lot more people than green space and trees.
We didn’t have enough living space, let alone any space for plants and gardening. Nature wasn’t a part of my growing up. I didn’t have any experience with planting and gardening
I think my love for plants in recent years comes from my Father. Dad likes plants. He has a few flower plants in the small apartment where my parents live now in China. As my Dad gets older and has more time, he enjoys looking after his plants more.
When we bought our first house in Woodbury seven years ago, we created a vegetable garden in the back yard. I had two purposes in mind: to grow our own vegetables in the summer and to give my parents something fun to do.
For the next few summers, my parents took care of the garden. They spent a lot of their time in the garden. Every morning the first thing they did was to check the garden. It kept them busy with watering, weeding or harvesting.
Gardening was one of the few things they really enjoyed about living here in the United States. It was a rare opportunity for them to grow vegetables. They don’t have a garden at home.
I don’t think people in the cities in China can possibly have a vegetable garden. Most live in high rise apartment buildings. Keeping a few indoor plants is the best they can do.
My parents went back home last fall. This year I am the one who has to do all the gardening work. I really enjoy it. I find gardening is very good for my body, mind and soul.
Gardening is a low-impact form of exercise. When I get tired from sitting, gardening provides me an opportunity to get up, go outside and do something productive.
The best thing about gardening is I can eat organic and healthy home grown foods while not spending much money. It really saves my grocery bills.
We all know fresh food provide the best nutrition. The closer we eat to the source where food is actually grown, the healthier is the food for our body.
Often right before dinner, I go out to the garden and pick some vegetables. I wash and prepare them within half an hour. Then they are ready for the dinner table. I love to eat my own organic vegetables picked freshly out of the garden.
There is just something very sweet when I can harvest and consume the products I have grown myself, and enjoy the fruits of my own labor.
The vegetables from my own garden may not look or even taste better than those I buy from the grocery store or farmer’s market, but there is a special feeling or a sense of accomplishment when I eat vegetable from my own garden.
I feel good because growing my own vegetables is good for my health, my pocket and the environment.
Gardening provides a creative outlet and a personal link to nature. It helps me feel attached to the earth and reminds me that I am part of nature.
As a gardener, I am also a creator. I prepare the soil, plant the seeds, then I water and weed, watch and wait, nurturing that new life into maturity.
When I am in the garden, worries and concerns seem to fade away. I am living in the present, marveling at the beauty nature brings and the miracle of life.
It brings joy that comes from hard work. It brings peace and slows me down in my busy life. It helps to reduce stress and increase relaxation.
In the last three months, as I spend more time in the garden plowing, planting, weeding and harvesting, I have even learned a few lessons.
In my next column, I will talk about some lessons I learned from my gardening.
I like plants and enjoy planting and gardening. A few people told me that I have a green thumb.
I think it’s more a compliment than the truth. I really don’t have the knowledge and skills of a master gardener. Nevertheless, I find great joy in gardening.
I grew up in the city where there were a lot more people than green space and trees.
We didn’t have enough living space, let alone any space for plants and gardening. Nature wasn’t a part of my growing up. I didn’t have any experience with planting and gardening
I think my love for plants in recent years comes from my Father. Dad likes plants. He has a few flower plants in the small apartment where my parents live now in China. As my Dad gets older and has more time, he enjoys looking after his plants more.
When we bought our first house in Woodbury seven years ago, we created a vegetable garden in the back yard. I had two purposes in mind: to grow our own vegetables in the summer and to give my parents something fun to do.
For the next few summers, my parents took care of the garden. They spent a lot of their time in the garden. Every morning the first thing they did was to check the garden. It kept them busy with watering, weeding or harvesting.
Gardening was one of the few things they really enjoyed about living here in the United States. It was a rare opportunity for them to grow vegetables. They don’t have a garden at home.
I don’t think people in the cities in China can possibly have a vegetable garden. Most live in high rise apartment buildings. Keeping a few indoor plants is the best they can do.
My parents went back home last fall. This year I am the one who has to do all the gardening work. I really enjoy it. I find gardening is very good for my body, mind and soul.
Gardening is a low-impact form of exercise. When I get tired from sitting, gardening provides me an opportunity to get up, go outside and do something productive.
The best thing about gardening is I can eat organic and healthy home grown foods while not spending much money. It really saves my grocery bills.
We all know fresh food provide the best nutrition. The closer we eat to the source where food is actually grown, the healthier is the food for our body.
Often right before dinner, I go out to the garden and pick some vegetables. I wash and prepare them within half an hour. Then they are ready for the dinner table. I love to eat my own organic vegetables picked freshly out of the garden.
There is just something very sweet when I can harvest and consume the products I have grown myself, and enjoy the fruits of my own labor.
The vegetables from my own garden may not look or even taste better than those I buy from the grocery store or farmer’s market, but there is a special feeling or a sense of accomplishment when I eat vegetable from my own garden.
I feel good because growing my own vegetables is good for my health, my pocket and the environment.
Gardening provides a creative outlet and a personal link to nature. It helps me feel attached to the earth and reminds me that I am part of nature.
As a gardener, I am also a creator. I prepare the soil, plant the seeds, then I water and weed, watch and wait, nurturing that new life into maturity.
When I am in the garden, worries and concerns seem to fade away. I am living in the present, marveling at the beauty nature brings and the miracle of life.
It brings joy that comes from hard work. It brings peace and slows me down in my busy life. It helps to reduce stress and increase relaxation.
In the last three months, as I spend more time in the garden plowing, planting, weeding and harvesting, I have even learned a few lessons.
In my next column, I will talk about some lessons I learned from my gardening.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
TV Fasting August
[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 8/1/2007]
Lately I heard people talking on the radio about TV fasting. They challenge Americans to have a TV free month in August.
I wholeheartedly embrace this idea. I don’t think it’s hard to do, at least not for me. In fact, I haven’t watched TV for almost 10 years.
When I was growing up, there was no TV. Like other families, my family only had a radio. It provided news and entertainment for everyone. I don’t remember when my parents bought their first small back and white TV, probably after I left for college in 1981.
During my college years I lived in a dormitory on campus. There was no TV in the dorm. I was busy studying anyway.
After graduation I spent a year at the Chinese Central Television. I was behind the scene and could see how TV programs were produced. But I still didn’t watch much TV.
I started to watch TV regularly while studying in Germany and living with a German family. I watched news every evening. My German got better.
After I came to the US in 1991, I stayed home for a few months. There was nothing for me to do except watching TV and learning English. I spent lots of time watching TV talk shows hosted by Jenny Jones, Joan Rivers, Phil Donahue, Maury Povich, Oprah, etc.
Even though there was a lot of trash talk, and sometimes I fell asleep during the day while watching TV, they were very helpful for me to learn English. They all became my English teachers.
After my English improved, I went to work part time and eventually went to college full time and then work full time. I still watched a little bit of TV in the evenings. Usually I only watched programs I liked, such as Unsolved Mysteries, 20/20, Dateline, 60 Minutes, etc.
When my son was born 9 years ago, I got busy and gave up TV. I am not sure whether I stopped watching TV gradually or abruptly. I don’t miss TV at all. Now I feel more or less irritated when the TV is on, especially at meal time.
Instead of watching TV, I like to read and listen to radio talk shows. I think I get more out of reading and listening to radio than watching TV.
My kids don’t watch much TV either. Sometimes they watch a children’s program on tape or DVD. They certainly want to watch more TV, but I don’t let them. Now my son is more into playing computer games or game boy games. And he is at an age that’s harder to control, because he wants to do things all his friends do or everyone in school does.
I know it’s tempting for parents to use TV as a baby-sitter. It’s much easier for parents to let kids do what they want than to discipline them to do the things we want them to do.
Especially now during the three month long summer break, many kids are home all day. They are bored and spend more time on TV and games. Letting them watch TV and playing games is certainly easy on us parents. Kids get what they want. They are busy, quiet and happy. They will leave parents alone. But we know that’s not good for them to watch too much TV.
As parents, we need to be able to say “No” to their requests. Don’t fret when our kids say: “I am bored!”
Kids don’t have to be entertained by someone or something all the times. They need to learn and do things on their own. Boredom often leads to creativity.
When my son tells me: “Mom, I am bored! What should I do? Can I play my game?” I don’t feel bad about it or feel guilty of my not doing a good job as a mother.
I might say to him: “Oh, good you are bored. Now you can read a book or practice piano.” He doesn’t like my suggestion, but he doesn’t always get what he wants.
What are the benefits of not watching TV?
It minimizes the negative effects of TV on our physical and mental health, family time, and children's academic success.
Instead of living a couch potato lifestyle, we can live healthier lives by being more physically active. We have more time to exercise and play outside.
We can create our own experiences instead of living through the lives and experiences of someone else. The best memories come from life's experiences. We can only build memories with experiences, our own experiences.
Families can spend more time doing activities together.
Keeping the TV off can make meal time a great opportunity for family conversation.
There will be time to listen to music and radio.
Children are not exposed to programs that are inappropriate or unhealthy at a young age. They can spend more time reading, thinking, doing homework, creating or cultivating a hobby.
I hope you will consider and accept this TV fasting challenge in August. Turn off TV and turn on life.
Life is too short to spend it by watching others living their lives. And after a month of the experiment, you might not want to go back to TV again.
Lately I heard people talking on the radio about TV fasting. They challenge Americans to have a TV free month in August.
I wholeheartedly embrace this idea. I don’t think it’s hard to do, at least not for me. In fact, I haven’t watched TV for almost 10 years.
When I was growing up, there was no TV. Like other families, my family only had a radio. It provided news and entertainment for everyone. I don’t remember when my parents bought their first small back and white TV, probably after I left for college in 1981.
During my college years I lived in a dormitory on campus. There was no TV in the dorm. I was busy studying anyway.
After graduation I spent a year at the Chinese Central Television. I was behind the scene and could see how TV programs were produced. But I still didn’t watch much TV.
I started to watch TV regularly while studying in Germany and living with a German family. I watched news every evening. My German got better.
After I came to the US in 1991, I stayed home for a few months. There was nothing for me to do except watching TV and learning English. I spent lots of time watching TV talk shows hosted by Jenny Jones, Joan Rivers, Phil Donahue, Maury Povich, Oprah, etc.
Even though there was a lot of trash talk, and sometimes I fell asleep during the day while watching TV, they were very helpful for me to learn English. They all became my English teachers.
After my English improved, I went to work part time and eventually went to college full time and then work full time. I still watched a little bit of TV in the evenings. Usually I only watched programs I liked, such as Unsolved Mysteries, 20/20, Dateline, 60 Minutes, etc.
When my son was born 9 years ago, I got busy and gave up TV. I am not sure whether I stopped watching TV gradually or abruptly. I don’t miss TV at all. Now I feel more or less irritated when the TV is on, especially at meal time.
Instead of watching TV, I like to read and listen to radio talk shows. I think I get more out of reading and listening to radio than watching TV.
My kids don’t watch much TV either. Sometimes they watch a children’s program on tape or DVD. They certainly want to watch more TV, but I don’t let them. Now my son is more into playing computer games or game boy games. And he is at an age that’s harder to control, because he wants to do things all his friends do or everyone in school does.
I know it’s tempting for parents to use TV as a baby-sitter. It’s much easier for parents to let kids do what they want than to discipline them to do the things we want them to do.
Especially now during the three month long summer break, many kids are home all day. They are bored and spend more time on TV and games. Letting them watch TV and playing games is certainly easy on us parents. Kids get what they want. They are busy, quiet and happy. They will leave parents alone. But we know that’s not good for them to watch too much TV.
As parents, we need to be able to say “No” to their requests. Don’t fret when our kids say: “I am bored!”
Kids don’t have to be entertained by someone or something all the times. They need to learn and do things on their own. Boredom often leads to creativity.
When my son tells me: “Mom, I am bored! What should I do? Can I play my game?” I don’t feel bad about it or feel guilty of my not doing a good job as a mother.
I might say to him: “Oh, good you are bored. Now you can read a book or practice piano.” He doesn’t like my suggestion, but he doesn’t always get what he wants.
What are the benefits of not watching TV?
It minimizes the negative effects of TV on our physical and mental health, family time, and children's academic success.
Instead of living a couch potato lifestyle, we can live healthier lives by being more physically active. We have more time to exercise and play outside.
We can create our own experiences instead of living through the lives and experiences of someone else. The best memories come from life's experiences. We can only build memories with experiences, our own experiences.
Families can spend more time doing activities together.
Keeping the TV off can make meal time a great opportunity for family conversation.
There will be time to listen to music and radio.
Children are not exposed to programs that are inappropriate or unhealthy at a young age. They can spend more time reading, thinking, doing homework, creating or cultivating a hobby.
I hope you will consider and accept this TV fasting challenge in August. Turn off TV and turn on life.
Life is too short to spend it by watching others living their lives. And after a month of the experiment, you might not want to go back to TV again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
