You've got mail!

[Originally published in Woodbury Bulletin on 1/31/2007]

Every morning when my daughter gets up, the first thing she does is to see if there is mail for her. She has done this for almost a year.

Last January Amy’s kindergarten teacher at Liberty Ridge asked parents for help with a “Love letter” mail project. Parents and relatives were to send mail to their children in school during the month of February.

I wrote Amy a couple of letters. She was excited whenever she got mail.

At the end of February, when the project was over, Amy brought her handmade paper mailbox home. While looking at the mailbox that brought her so much excitement, an idea came to me. Why not continue writing to her?    

So I started writing notes to Amy and my son Andy every day. Well, almost.

I use a piece of cardboard paper or an index card and write a message to them. Sometimes I use color gel pens and stickers to be more creative and colorful.

They both love receiving my note. Sometimes they write me notes too. My daughter certainly enjoys it more.

My notes contain mostly a short and encouraging message to praise them for their good behavior or something they have done well. And every day life provides me with abundant ideas.

One day, Amy wrote me six cards. Then she asked me to write her six cards back. That was quite a challenge, but I managed to write seven. One of the poems I wrote that day became her favorite:

I love bunny,
I love tiger,
I love butterfly,
I love Dragon,
I love bird,
But best of all,
I love YOU, my little one –
My Sweetie Amy.

Amy is a very strong-willed child. There are days when she has tantrums and refuses to do things asked. It is difficult to deal with her when she has her bad days which can make me feel frustrated and helpless.

One day, I wrote her the following note as I had those helpless feelings. It was addressed to “Someone I don’t know.”

“Dear Someone:
I was sad today because I lost my sweet and adorable girl Amy. I thought she came home from school and I gave her treat for being good, but it turned out she was a different person. She was not on her best behaviour. Would you please help me find her and bring her back to me?
Thank you very much.
Sad Mom.”

The next day, I wrote another note addressed to “Someone who looks like Amy, but is not as nice and obedient as Amy.”

“Dear Someone, 
Did you find the girl Amy I am looking for? I am still not sure whether she is back home or still lost somewhere. I would like to see my sweety, smarty, pretty and adorable Amy back with me as soon as possible. Please help me and let me know when you find her.
Thank you.
Sad Mom who is still looking for her lost daughter.”

Surprisingly my notes to her had a positive effect. For the next few days, she behaved really well. She was like an angel and I felt like in heaven. 

Amy likes to say she knows 10 Amys. They include every Amy she knows personally or has only heard about, such as Amy Klobuchar who run for US senator and whose campaign signs were everywhere before election in November 2006.

On the election night after we found out that Amy won the senator race, I wrote my daughter the following note:

“Dear Amy,
Congratulations for winning the senator race today and becoming the first female/woman US senator form Minnesota. It was a great achievement for you. I am proud of you. Becaues I voted for you, I expecte you to do a great job as the senator.
Love, Mom.”

Occasionally I am busy and don't write for a day or more. Then Amy will remind me, "Mom, you haven't given me a card for two days!" Her expectation keeps me going and on track.  

I am often surprised at how well Amy can write now. One day she came home from school with a letter she wrote to me during her free choice time:

“Dear Mom: 
I love you. Ich liebe Dich. (she wrote “I love you” in English, German and Chinese) I will love you forever. You are the best. I love you till the end of the numbers. You are a kind mother.
Love you!
Amy“

That letter was dated May 25, 2006. Amy was 6 years old. She also drew some hearts with arrows going through them and the word Love in the hearts. It has become my favorite letter from her.

I know I will never be the best mother in the world as my kids tell me. I don’t even dare to claim to be the best mother in my neighborhood. I only wish I could be a better mother.
But I am happy to wear the “best Mom ever” title, even if it’s only the best in the eyes of two kids.

I certainly strive to be the best mother I can be.

I am sure reading my notes and exchanging mail with me has greatly improved Amy's reading and writing skills. She not only can read all my notes without any problem, sometimes she corrects me when I make errors in hurry.

In the process we have also created a special bond with each other and some wonderful memories.

I hope when my kids grows up and people ask them what their favorite childhood memories are, getting mail from Mom will be on their mind.

And as long as they enjoy getting my mail, I will continue writing to them in the days and years to come.