Woodbury Bulletin - 08/20/2008
In my July 2 column, I wrote about what I think is right in our society.
To provide a different perspective, in this column I would like to share what I think is society's biggest problem — one we are facing today.
It is disconnection.
It is the disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other and from nature.
It is the disconnection between body, mind and spirit, and the disconnection between our outward success and inward satisfaction.
As human beings, we are wired to connect.
But we are so busy doing things and being entertained that we are losing human and spiritual connections.
We are so preoccupied that we don’t have quiet time to recharge ourselves, to connect with our inner beings, to connect with the high power, to connect with nature.
We are so focused on success and things that we neglect what is really significant and important.
We are so prosperous and arrogant that we think we can do everything and all on our own. We want to be independent rather than interdependent.
Our conventional medicine and current health care (or more appropriately disease care) system focus only on diseases in our body, on medical and surgical interventions to treat illness instead of taking the natural, holistic approach — seeing the body, mind and spirit as interrelated and connected.
In the age of constant digital connectivity and multitasking, we are over-connected technologically, but under-connected and under-communicated relationally.
Technology makes electronic communication so easy, convenient and instant that we prefer e-mail over a phone call and a direct talk. We are losing the face-to-face communication and human connection.
We are more intelligent and advanced, but we do not necessarily have more emotional intelligence to know better how to connect with people, how to deal with people and solve conflicts.
So, in many situations, we simply stop talking and communicating altogether.
We have over-scheduled kids, but under-connected families.
We have so many activities and things to do that we don’t have time to eat family meals together and talk to each other.
We guard our right to privacy and value our individuality so much that we don’t easily share our stories and lives with each other, and we are losing the sense of community.
We might have a hard time choosing an emergency contact for our kids, because we don’t really know the neighbors around us very well and don’t have really good friends who are close.
We might have a hard time finding someone or don’t feel comfortable contacting someone when we face a crisis and need help.
We might have a hard time sharing our real-life stories with our friends.
We might have a hard time sharing our real concerns and problems with our partners, our parents or our children.
Yes, we may have a lot of friends, both near or far away, real or virtual, but how many of our friends do we really know and how many of them really know us?
Yes, we may talk to a lot of friends, but how much of the talk is the heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul talk?
Yes, we may have achieved great worldly success and material possessions, but do we feel fulfilled and satisfied deep in our hearts?
These are questions only each individual can answer honestly for him- or herself.
And I will not be surprised if many people say, “No, I don’t really have such intimate relationships. No, I don’t feel happy and satisfied.”
Human beings are social and relational. Relationships and human connections foster health and wellness in body, mind and spirit, while lack of social support and disconnection leads to loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, despair and illness.
As a result of our disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other, and from nature, we more or less live isolated lives.
No wonder more and more people are suffering from anxiety, depression, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, from physical illness and behavioral problems.
More and more people are paying big bucks to professionals so they can have somebody to talk to and share their problems.
A counselor or a psychologist may be able to help an individual. But I doubt they can help solve this big problem in our society.
I think it’s up to every one of us to try to reconnect what has been disconnected, and to recreate a strong sense of community.
Without connections, we would all get lost in this world.
By the way, I encourage you to go to the Woodbury Days this weekend. This annual event provides us an opportunity to meet and connect with others in the community.
I will be there Saturday, helping at the shared booth of Minnesota JingLun Chinese School and Acupuncture of Woodbury from 9 a.m. to noon, then at the Spirit of Life Bible Church booth from 1 to 3 p.m., and finally at the Woodbury Days Information booth from 3 to 7 p.m.
I hope you will stop by and say hello. I would love to meet all of you personally. Please feel free to share with me your honest comments about this column.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ask and you shall receive
Woodbury Bulletin - 08/13/2008
“Ask and you shall receive.”
This is a well-known biblical principle. It is also one of the lessons I have learned in life again and again.
Just last week I was helping someone find an article in a journal. Since itwas a scholarly journal, it is not widely held in libraries. And it was not free on the Internet. It cost over $30 to purchase the article online.
After I did research about the journal and found the information, I could easily pass it on to a co-worker to get the requested article in the traditional way through inter-library loan. However, this process could have taken a couple of weeks.
Instead, I “Googled” one of the author names and found his contact information. I sent him an e-mail asking if he would send me a copy of the article. Within a few hours on the same day, I got the response from him along with the attached article.
I was happy because it saved us time, effort and cost.
What happened was not surprising to me though. I was quite confident that I would get what I asked for. I had similar experiences before. Mostly I get quick and positive responses.
I know authors are willing to share their articles, especially the scholars in academic institutions. They don’t have many followers like best-selling authors do. They are very willing and happy to share their publications.
This incident reinforced my belief in the “Ask and you shall receive” principle. Had I not asked, I would not get what was needed in such short time and without any costs.
I have applied this principal in other areas of my life.
I asked for the opportunity to write this column. I got it without a problem.
I asked experts at the national level for information and advice. They responded with advice or referrals.
I asked for better pay. And I got a raise.
I asked for directions when I got lost. It saved me time.
I asked for items in the grocery store that were not on display to the public. I got them at a better price.
Naturally, I don’t always get what I ask for. But the only way to get what I want or to find out the result is by simply asking.
Oftentimes we don’t receive because we don’t ask. We do so for several reasons.
We don’t ask because we are afraid of rejection.
We are afraid the person we are asking will say no. This is a foolish notion.
By asking, we either get what we want which is better than before, or we get nothing which doesn’t change anything. It can’t get worse, it can only get better. We really have nothing to lose when we ask.
We don’t ask because we are too proud.
We have a big ego. We feel embarrassed and uncomfortable asking for something. We don’t want to look needy, weak, unintelligent or foolish. We want to appear like someone who knows everything, can do everything and rely on nobody.
But that is unrealistic.
We don’t ask because we think we are unworthy of it.
When we have a low self- esteem, we might feel not good or worthy enough to ask and to receive.
The fact is no one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. By asking and seeking help, we can become better and more worthy.
We don’t ask because we are pessimistic and negative.
People with pessimistic and negative attitudes like to say: “Why bother? It’s impossible!”
Anything is possible. We need to have faith and be optimistic when we ask.
Here are a few more thoughts to help increase the chance of success.
We need to be generous and kind to other people when they ask for our help.
“You only receive what you give away.” If we don’t give in the first place, we can’t expect others to give.
When asking, we are making a request, not a demand. We need to do so with a humble heart and a humble attitude.
While we should have confidence in asking and hope for positive results, we should also be prepared for rejection.
We can’t expect success every time. We need to accept rejection graciously. Express gratitude when we receive, and show understanding when we don’t receive.
Listen to that still voice or that gut feeling in ourselves when asking. Follow it instead of ignoring it.
Don’t feel intimidated by people who have more power, status or wealth. Don’t think they are too important or too busy to respond to our request for help. Most people are helpful.
It never hurts to ask. It doesn’t cost anything. There is nothing to lose but possibly something to gain.
We may not get what we ask for, but we will never get what we don’t ask for!
When we ask, we can get more out of life. So much more is ours just for the asking if we dare to ask, dare to dream.
When we stop asking, we stop receiving.
So let’s remember, “Ask and you shall receive” and live this principle in our everyday life.
“Ask and you shall receive.”
This is a well-known biblical principle. It is also one of the lessons I have learned in life again and again.
Just last week I was helping someone find an article in a journal. Since itwas a scholarly journal, it is not widely held in libraries. And it was not free on the Internet. It cost over $30 to purchase the article online.
After I did research about the journal and found the information, I could easily pass it on to a co-worker to get the requested article in the traditional way through inter-library loan. However, this process could have taken a couple of weeks.
Instead, I “Googled” one of the author names and found his contact information. I sent him an e-mail asking if he would send me a copy of the article. Within a few hours on the same day, I got the response from him along with the attached article.
I was happy because it saved us time, effort and cost.
What happened was not surprising to me though. I was quite confident that I would get what I asked for. I had similar experiences before. Mostly I get quick and positive responses.
I know authors are willing to share their articles, especially the scholars in academic institutions. They don’t have many followers like best-selling authors do. They are very willing and happy to share their publications.
This incident reinforced my belief in the “Ask and you shall receive” principle. Had I not asked, I would not get what was needed in such short time and without any costs.
I have applied this principal in other areas of my life.
I asked for the opportunity to write this column. I got it without a problem.
I asked experts at the national level for information and advice. They responded with advice or referrals.
I asked for better pay. And I got a raise.
I asked for directions when I got lost. It saved me time.
I asked for items in the grocery store that were not on display to the public. I got them at a better price.
Naturally, I don’t always get what I ask for. But the only way to get what I want or to find out the result is by simply asking.
Oftentimes we don’t receive because we don’t ask. We do so for several reasons.
We don’t ask because we are afraid of rejection.
We are afraid the person we are asking will say no. This is a foolish notion.
By asking, we either get what we want which is better than before, or we get nothing which doesn’t change anything. It can’t get worse, it can only get better. We really have nothing to lose when we ask.
We don’t ask because we are too proud.
We have a big ego. We feel embarrassed and uncomfortable asking for something. We don’t want to look needy, weak, unintelligent or foolish. We want to appear like someone who knows everything, can do everything and rely on nobody.
But that is unrealistic.
We don’t ask because we think we are unworthy of it.
When we have a low self- esteem, we might feel not good or worthy enough to ask and to receive.
The fact is no one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. By asking and seeking help, we can become better and more worthy.
We don’t ask because we are pessimistic and negative.
People with pessimistic and negative attitudes like to say: “Why bother? It’s impossible!”
Anything is possible. We need to have faith and be optimistic when we ask.
Here are a few more thoughts to help increase the chance of success.
We need to be generous and kind to other people when they ask for our help.
“You only receive what you give away.” If we don’t give in the first place, we can’t expect others to give.
When asking, we are making a request, not a demand. We need to do so with a humble heart and a humble attitude.
While we should have confidence in asking and hope for positive results, we should also be prepared for rejection.
We can’t expect success every time. We need to accept rejection graciously. Express gratitude when we receive, and show understanding when we don’t receive.
Listen to that still voice or that gut feeling in ourselves when asking. Follow it instead of ignoring it.
Don’t feel intimidated by people who have more power, status or wealth. Don’t think they are too important or too busy to respond to our request for help. Most people are helpful.
It never hurts to ask. It doesn’t cost anything. There is nothing to lose but possibly something to gain.
We may not get what we ask for, but we will never get what we don’t ask for!
When we ask, we can get more out of life. So much more is ours just for the asking if we dare to ask, dare to dream.
When we stop asking, we stop receiving.
So let’s remember, “Ask and you shall receive” and live this principle in our everyday life.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Teaching my kids about money
Woodbury Bulletin - 08/06/2008
When I was 10 years old, I didn’t have a clue about money.
It is very different for my two kids now. Andy is 10 and Amy is eight.
I think they know a lot more about money than I did at their age. In fact, they even make their own money.
No kidding.
I am not talking about getting money from parents or relatives for birthdays and holidays, for good behavior, doing home work or getting good grades. I’m not referring to making money by doing chores at home either.
I’m talking about making real money outside of home by doing real work.
Before you accuse me of child abuse for child labor, let me assure you that this is not the case.
We live in the Eagle Valley neighborhood. Our backyard faces Eagle Valley Golf Course Hole 17. In the past few years we have accumulated some golf balls found on the course.
Two summers ago, I had this idea of my kids selling golf balls in the backyard for several reasons.
I wanted them to learn about money and be financially literate.
I wanted them to understand that money doesn’t grow on trees and isn’t spit out from the AMT machines by itself. You have to actually work hard to earn money and then you get to spend it.
I wanted to teach them how to divide money for different purposes, how to use money wisely and make good choices, how to save for college and other longterm goals.
I wanted them to get out of the house and have something to do in the long summer days. I don’t like to hear them say: “Mom, I am bored. What can I do?”
Both of my kids are not very talkative. Getting out there, talking to strangers and trying to sell something will help them develop some social skills.
Best of all, they can make their own money for some spending. So, we set a small table in our backyard to sell golf balls.
Andy mans the golf stand and does all the talking and selling. Amy helps out sometimes, but she is shy and not so interested in selling.
Our golf stand hours depend on our schedule, the weather and mostly on Andy’s mood. He will do it if he wants to. So it is totally irregular.
Like every business, Andy’s golf stand has good days and bad days. He might not make any money on one day or make enough to buy a game on another day.
I taught my kids to divide their money into four envelopes: 50 percent for college fund, 20 percent for savings account, 20 percent for spending and 10 percent for giving.
For their birthdays or special holidays, I usually don’t buy them toys. Instead, I give them money.
Andy and Amy are good at saving now. Sometimes they ask me: “Mom, can you put my money into my bank account?”
I opened a college savings account for each one of them when they were born. Two years ago, they each opened a savings and a checking account.
Last year, they used their checking account to pay for their own field trips and yearbooks. Sometimes I ask them to contribute towards some purchases, such as school pictures. I think they are proud to be able to pay for their own wants.
Andy is saving his spending money to buy a Lego set.
I teach Andy and Amy not to be impulsive spenders. They always want to buy something when they go to stores with me. I often say no to their requests. They have to get my permission to buy even with their own spending money.
Sometimes I do let them buy a small item impulsively. It is better to allow them to make small foolish choices now than making big foolish choices later in life.
I think my kids are also learning about disappointment, success, generosity and other experiences in life.
Andy is disappointed when he doesn’t make any money. He says, “I don’t want to sell any more. No one is buying.”
But he is also excited when he makes a good deal and gets extra money.
Some people give him a tip. A few told him: “Keep the change for your college!”
I remember one gentleman gave Andy $5 as a tip. Recently, another gentleman gave him $5 without even buying anything.
Occasions like these are rare, but memorable.
These people are so generous. I am very thankful for their encouragement and generosity towards the kids. I wish I could say a personal thank-you to them.
It has been fun for me to watch my kids work and make money.
Actually, I don’t just watch, I have to work, too. I help them find and wash golf balls. The washing part is often the real hard and dirty work.
Hopefully my kids have learned and now understand that money doesn’t come easily. You have to work hard to get it.
When I was 10 years old, I didn’t have a clue about money.
It is very different for my two kids now. Andy is 10 and Amy is eight.
I think they know a lot more about money than I did at their age. In fact, they even make their own money.
No kidding.
I am not talking about getting money from parents or relatives for birthdays and holidays, for good behavior, doing home work or getting good grades. I’m not referring to making money by doing chores at home either.
I’m talking about making real money outside of home by doing real work.
Before you accuse me of child abuse for child labor, let me assure you that this is not the case.
We live in the Eagle Valley neighborhood. Our backyard faces Eagle Valley Golf Course Hole 17. In the past few years we have accumulated some golf balls found on the course.
Two summers ago, I had this idea of my kids selling golf balls in the backyard for several reasons.
I wanted them to learn about money and be financially literate.
I wanted them to understand that money doesn’t grow on trees and isn’t spit out from the AMT machines by itself. You have to actually work hard to earn money and then you get to spend it.
I wanted to teach them how to divide money for different purposes, how to use money wisely and make good choices, how to save for college and other longterm goals.
I wanted them to get out of the house and have something to do in the long summer days. I don’t like to hear them say: “Mom, I am bored. What can I do?”
Both of my kids are not very talkative. Getting out there, talking to strangers and trying to sell something will help them develop some social skills.
Best of all, they can make their own money for some spending. So, we set a small table in our backyard to sell golf balls.
Andy mans the golf stand and does all the talking and selling. Amy helps out sometimes, but she is shy and not so interested in selling.
Our golf stand hours depend on our schedule, the weather and mostly on Andy’s mood. He will do it if he wants to. So it is totally irregular.
Like every business, Andy’s golf stand has good days and bad days. He might not make any money on one day or make enough to buy a game on another day.
I taught my kids to divide their money into four envelopes: 50 percent for college fund, 20 percent for savings account, 20 percent for spending and 10 percent for giving.
For their birthdays or special holidays, I usually don’t buy them toys. Instead, I give them money.
Andy and Amy are good at saving now. Sometimes they ask me: “Mom, can you put my money into my bank account?”
I opened a college savings account for each one of them when they were born. Two years ago, they each opened a savings and a checking account.
Last year, they used their checking account to pay for their own field trips and yearbooks. Sometimes I ask them to contribute towards some purchases, such as school pictures. I think they are proud to be able to pay for their own wants.
Andy is saving his spending money to buy a Lego set.
I teach Andy and Amy not to be impulsive spenders. They always want to buy something when they go to stores with me. I often say no to their requests. They have to get my permission to buy even with their own spending money.
Sometimes I do let them buy a small item impulsively. It is better to allow them to make small foolish choices now than making big foolish choices later in life.
I think my kids are also learning about disappointment, success, generosity and other experiences in life.
Andy is disappointed when he doesn’t make any money. He says, “I don’t want to sell any more. No one is buying.”
But he is also excited when he makes a good deal and gets extra money.
Some people give him a tip. A few told him: “Keep the change for your college!”
I remember one gentleman gave Andy $5 as a tip. Recently, another gentleman gave him $5 without even buying anything.
Occasions like these are rare, but memorable.
These people are so generous. I am very thankful for their encouragement and generosity towards the kids. I wish I could say a personal thank-you to them.
It has been fun for me to watch my kids work and make money.
Actually, I don’t just watch, I have to work, too. I help them find and wash golf balls. The washing part is often the real hard and dirty work.
Hopefully my kids have learned and now understand that money doesn’t come easily. You have to work hard to get it.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
A close call on the road
Woodbury Bulletin - 07/30/2008
I learned driving in my late twenties when I came to the United States. A friend taught me for a few hours.
That’s all the driving education I had, and I learned just enough traffic rules to pass the test.
Learning new things is always easier and comes more natural when you are young. Anytime you miss the windows of opportunity and the optimum learning time, it gets harder.
Because I didn’t learn driving as a teenager like most Americans do, it wasn’t a natural thing for me. Therefore, I have never developed a love for cars or driving.
In addition, I am a little bit “directionally-challenged.” So I don’t like driving at all, especially to unfamiliar places.
Knowing I am not good behind the wheel, however, has made me a very careful driver. I don’t exceed the highway speed limit, usually driving 60 mph or less.
I have never caused any traffic accidents, nor have I received any traffic tickets — just a few parking tickets.
Once, I parked too close to a stop sign. Another time I parked in the wrong direction on the street. Instead of having the curb on the right side of the car, I parked on the left side. But they were just harmless tickets due to my lack of knowledge about traffic rules.
In my 17 years of driving, I have kept a perfect record on my driver’s license. But that almost changed July 16.
On that Wednesday evening at around 8 p.m., after going to swimming lessons, a library visit and stopping at a store on Radio Drive, my kids and I were on the way home. I made a left turn from Radio Drive onto Valley Creek Road.
Just as I was entering the intersection, the light changed from yellow to red. Instead of hitting my brakes really hard, I kept going.
“Mom, there is a police car!” Suddenly, my kids became alert.
As soon as I turned left on Valley Creek Road, a police car that was right at the intersection flashed its light and followed me.
Once I saw the flashing light in my rear mirror, I knew I was in trouble.
I quickly turned to the right shoulder and stopped. I got my wallet out and held it in my hand. I was ready for the policeman to ask for my license.
In my mind I was hoping that once he checked my driver’s license and found a perfect record, and knew that I am not a repeat traffic offender or a criminal, he might have mercy on me and let me go.
The policeman walked to the passenger side. I lowered the window.
Instead of asking to see my driver’s license, he asked me a question: “What was the color of the light when you entered the intersection?”
I was not sure what to say.
Fortunately, my 10-year old son Andy came to my rescue. He responded quickly: “It was turning from yellow to red.”
I thought: “Good job, Andy!”
The policeman explained because I hadn’t quite exited the intersection when he had the green light, it meant I had run the red light.
I was nervous and waiting for the verdict.
“Here is the deal. I am not going to give you a ticket this time, but I want you to remember that you should be more careful when you drive, for your son’s safety and other people’s safety,” he said. “You need to set a good example for your children.”
No ticket? What a relief!
I was not only relieved, but also very grateful. I was thankful for this policeman for not issuing me a ticket when he could legally do so.
After the policeman left, my son said: “Mom, you didn’t get a ticket because of me.”
He was probably right.
I suppose policemen or policewomen might be more lenient when kids are present. Kids see policemen as heroes, the good guys. So it was possible that the policeman was nice and played the good guy for my kids’ sake.
Yes, the policeman didn’t give me a ticket this time. But I realized that just because I haven’t got any traffic tickets doesn’t mean I will never.
Just because I run a red light and didn’t get caught or ticketed doesn’t mean I can do it again and will never get caught.
I was thankful for the policeman for the reminder to think about the safety of my kids and others and to set a good example for my kids.
I know kids model what their parents do.
I always put on seatbelt once I get into a car. My kids have developed this habit of wearing seatbelts since they were little. Now, if Andy sees someone not wearing the seatbelt, he will remind the person.
Yes, I need to be more careful and be a better law-abiding citizen on the road, for the safety of everyone and for setting a good example.
I was also thankful that my kids witnessed the incident and could learn a lesson, too.
Andy already knows some traffic rules. Once when I turned from Commerce Drive to Sam’s auto shop, he said: “Mom, you are not supposed to cross the double yellow line.”
At age 10, he has already learned traffic rules in school.
Andy has now become a more vigorous monitor of my driving. When I drive with him in the car, he reminds me: “Mom, drive slowly and don’t run the red light!”
He is right. I’d better listen to my son and do everything right to prevent another close call.
I don’t want to get caught for any traffic violations, either by a policeman or by my own family policeman sitting right behind me.
And I intend to keep the perfect record on my driver’s license.
I learned driving in my late twenties when I came to the United States. A friend taught me for a few hours.
That’s all the driving education I had, and I learned just enough traffic rules to pass the test.
Learning new things is always easier and comes more natural when you are young. Anytime you miss the windows of opportunity and the optimum learning time, it gets harder.
Because I didn’t learn driving as a teenager like most Americans do, it wasn’t a natural thing for me. Therefore, I have never developed a love for cars or driving.
In addition, I am a little bit “directionally-challenged.” So I don’t like driving at all, especially to unfamiliar places.
Knowing I am not good behind the wheel, however, has made me a very careful driver. I don’t exceed the highway speed limit, usually driving 60 mph or less.
I have never caused any traffic accidents, nor have I received any traffic tickets — just a few parking tickets.
Once, I parked too close to a stop sign. Another time I parked in the wrong direction on the street. Instead of having the curb on the right side of the car, I parked on the left side. But they were just harmless tickets due to my lack of knowledge about traffic rules.
In my 17 years of driving, I have kept a perfect record on my driver’s license. But that almost changed July 16.
On that Wednesday evening at around 8 p.m., after going to swimming lessons, a library visit and stopping at a store on Radio Drive, my kids and I were on the way home. I made a left turn from Radio Drive onto Valley Creek Road.
Just as I was entering the intersection, the light changed from yellow to red. Instead of hitting my brakes really hard, I kept going.
“Mom, there is a police car!” Suddenly, my kids became alert.
As soon as I turned left on Valley Creek Road, a police car that was right at the intersection flashed its light and followed me.
Once I saw the flashing light in my rear mirror, I knew I was in trouble.
I quickly turned to the right shoulder and stopped. I got my wallet out and held it in my hand. I was ready for the policeman to ask for my license.
In my mind I was hoping that once he checked my driver’s license and found a perfect record, and knew that I am not a repeat traffic offender or a criminal, he might have mercy on me and let me go.
The policeman walked to the passenger side. I lowered the window.
Instead of asking to see my driver’s license, he asked me a question: “What was the color of the light when you entered the intersection?”
I was not sure what to say.
Fortunately, my 10-year old son Andy came to my rescue. He responded quickly: “It was turning from yellow to red.”
I thought: “Good job, Andy!”
The policeman explained because I hadn’t quite exited the intersection when he had the green light, it meant I had run the red light.
I was nervous and waiting for the verdict.
“Here is the deal. I am not going to give you a ticket this time, but I want you to remember that you should be more careful when you drive, for your son’s safety and other people’s safety,” he said. “You need to set a good example for your children.”
No ticket? What a relief!
I was not only relieved, but also very grateful. I was thankful for this policeman for not issuing me a ticket when he could legally do so.
After the policeman left, my son said: “Mom, you didn’t get a ticket because of me.”
He was probably right.
I suppose policemen or policewomen might be more lenient when kids are present. Kids see policemen as heroes, the good guys. So it was possible that the policeman was nice and played the good guy for my kids’ sake.
Yes, the policeman didn’t give me a ticket this time. But I realized that just because I haven’t got any traffic tickets doesn’t mean I will never.
Just because I run a red light and didn’t get caught or ticketed doesn’t mean I can do it again and will never get caught.
I was thankful for the policeman for the reminder to think about the safety of my kids and others and to set a good example for my kids.
I know kids model what their parents do.
I always put on seatbelt once I get into a car. My kids have developed this habit of wearing seatbelts since they were little. Now, if Andy sees someone not wearing the seatbelt, he will remind the person.
Yes, I need to be more careful and be a better law-abiding citizen on the road, for the safety of everyone and for setting a good example.
I was also thankful that my kids witnessed the incident and could learn a lesson, too.
Andy already knows some traffic rules. Once when I turned from Commerce Drive to Sam’s auto shop, he said: “Mom, you are not supposed to cross the double yellow line.”
At age 10, he has already learned traffic rules in school.
Andy has now become a more vigorous monitor of my driving. When I drive with him in the car, he reminds me: “Mom, drive slowly and don’t run the red light!”
He is right. I’d better listen to my son and do everything right to prevent another close call.
I don’t want to get caught for any traffic violations, either by a policeman or by my own family policeman sitting right behind me.
And I intend to keep the perfect record on my driver’s license.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dealing with the Feds
Woodbury Bulletin - 07/23/2008
I think it’s safe to say that, of all the federal government agencies, the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) is the most unpopular one. Or to put it in more plain language and to say it more bluntly, IRS is the most feared and hated federal agency.
At the very least nobody likes to hear from IRS.
But this time, it is different.
Starting in May, the IRS began sending economic stimulus payments to more than 130 million households, thanks to the stimulus package passed by Congress and signed into law by President George W. Bush in February 2008. The law seeks to stimulate business investment, boost the U.S. economy and to avert a recession.
Like everyone eligible for the tax rebates, I was actually looking forward to hearing from the IRS and get my family’s share of rebates.
We received two notices at the end of June and beginning of July. But instead of rebates, we found out that the IRS made a change to our 2007 tax return. As a result, we owed the IRS more taxes plus interest.
Even after our economic stimulus payment was credited to our account, we still owed the IRS money.
This was the first time we heard from IRS in the more than 10 years we have been filing tax returns.
The big adjustment made to our account was due to the unmatched social security number.
I checked the social security numbers on the tax return and they all looked fine. I’ve used them and have not had a problem in the last ten years.
So, I called the IRS to find out how to fix the problem.
I waited on the phone for about ten minutes. Then I spoke with a real person. I gave her the social security numbers from the 2007 tax return. She said one of them didn’t match with the name and I needed to send in a copy of the social security card for verification.
I commented that I never had any problems with social security numbers in the past. Her response was “I am not going to argue with you.”
Before I could ask another question, she hung up on me.
I didn’t even realize that until I finished my question and didn’t hear any response. Our conversation was only about one or two minutes long.
I wasn’t trying to argue with her at all. But her tone of voice and her action were very unprofessional and rude to me.
Later, after getting out all the social security cards and double checking my son’s social security number, I noticed that I had two numbers next to each other in reverse order.
I guess I was too self-confident of doing everything right that I didn’t catch the error, even though I checked it.
Admittedly, I made a dumb mistake. But still, I don’t think I deserved to be treated so rudely by the IRS employee.
Had I experienced this kind of customer service from a private company, I probably would have contacted the company to complain and voice my dissatisfaction.
But what can you do with the IRS? It’s better to stay away from it. I am not going to waste my time and energy to deal with its bureaucracy.
Luckily, when I called the IRS back the next day, I talked to a nice person who said “Please” and “Thank you” a few times. After my explaination, she adjusted my return.
Before I hung up the phone, I said to her: “Thank you for being so nice. I wish everyone at the IRS is so nice like you.”
I don’t fear or hate the IRS. But now I can understand a little better why many people do fear and hate it.
In the last few months I had another frustrating experience with a different federal agency through my job.
In February, I contacted the agency to straighten out a few problems regarding our purchase account.
I called, talked to people, left messages and e-mailed. But so far, after six months of dealing with three different individuals, I still haven’t got satisfied answers to the few questions and problems I have.
For me, they are very straightforward and easy-to-answer questions. They don’t require much brain work. It just doesn’t make sense to me why that is so difficult for them to do.
I can not believe how unresponsive and inefficient these people are.
I know I shouldn’t generalize everything. There are always good and bad employees every where, just like my IRS experience showed. I believe the majority of the fed employees are good. But still, a couple of bad apples can spoil the whole bunch, or leave a bad taste.
I think it’s fair to say that the feds need more accountability check to improve their services and increase their efficiency. They are here to help and serve the citizens. They should do a better job.
For now, I am just relieved that we don’t own the IRS any more taxes and we can receive the majority of our economic stimulus payment soon.
As for my son, he will have to wait for the next tax return to get his share of the rebate, because the amount of economic stimulus payments is based on the 2007 return. Adjustments can only be made next year.
I wish I had not made this one small mistake. Now that I have learned my lesson, I am sure it will not happen again.
I think it’s safe to say that, of all the federal government agencies, the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) is the most unpopular one. Or to put it in more plain language and to say it more bluntly, IRS is the most feared and hated federal agency.
At the very least nobody likes to hear from IRS.
But this time, it is different.
Starting in May, the IRS began sending economic stimulus payments to more than 130 million households, thanks to the stimulus package passed by Congress and signed into law by President George W. Bush in February 2008. The law seeks to stimulate business investment, boost the U.S. economy and to avert a recession.
Like everyone eligible for the tax rebates, I was actually looking forward to hearing from the IRS and get my family’s share of rebates.
We received two notices at the end of June and beginning of July. But instead of rebates, we found out that the IRS made a change to our 2007 tax return. As a result, we owed the IRS more taxes plus interest.
Even after our economic stimulus payment was credited to our account, we still owed the IRS money.
This was the first time we heard from IRS in the more than 10 years we have been filing tax returns.
The big adjustment made to our account was due to the unmatched social security number.
I checked the social security numbers on the tax return and they all looked fine. I’ve used them and have not had a problem in the last ten years.
So, I called the IRS to find out how to fix the problem.
I waited on the phone for about ten minutes. Then I spoke with a real person. I gave her the social security numbers from the 2007 tax return. She said one of them didn’t match with the name and I needed to send in a copy of the social security card for verification.
I commented that I never had any problems with social security numbers in the past. Her response was “I am not going to argue with you.”
Before I could ask another question, she hung up on me.
I didn’t even realize that until I finished my question and didn’t hear any response. Our conversation was only about one or two minutes long.
I wasn’t trying to argue with her at all. But her tone of voice and her action were very unprofessional and rude to me.
Later, after getting out all the social security cards and double checking my son’s social security number, I noticed that I had two numbers next to each other in reverse order.
I guess I was too self-confident of doing everything right that I didn’t catch the error, even though I checked it.
Admittedly, I made a dumb mistake. But still, I don’t think I deserved to be treated so rudely by the IRS employee.
Had I experienced this kind of customer service from a private company, I probably would have contacted the company to complain and voice my dissatisfaction.
But what can you do with the IRS? It’s better to stay away from it. I am not going to waste my time and energy to deal with its bureaucracy.
Luckily, when I called the IRS back the next day, I talked to a nice person who said “Please” and “Thank you” a few times. After my explaination, she adjusted my return.
Before I hung up the phone, I said to her: “Thank you for being so nice. I wish everyone at the IRS is so nice like you.”
I don’t fear or hate the IRS. But now I can understand a little better why many people do fear and hate it.
In the last few months I had another frustrating experience with a different federal agency through my job.
In February, I contacted the agency to straighten out a few problems regarding our purchase account.
I called, talked to people, left messages and e-mailed. But so far, after six months of dealing with three different individuals, I still haven’t got satisfied answers to the few questions and problems I have.
For me, they are very straightforward and easy-to-answer questions. They don’t require much brain work. It just doesn’t make sense to me why that is so difficult for them to do.
I can not believe how unresponsive and inefficient these people are.
I know I shouldn’t generalize everything. There are always good and bad employees every where, just like my IRS experience showed. I believe the majority of the fed employees are good. But still, a couple of bad apples can spoil the whole bunch, or leave a bad taste.
I think it’s fair to say that the feds need more accountability check to improve their services and increase their efficiency. They are here to help and serve the citizens. They should do a better job.
For now, I am just relieved that we don’t own the IRS any more taxes and we can receive the majority of our economic stimulus payment soon.
As for my son, he will have to wait for the next tax return to get his share of the rebate, because the amount of economic stimulus payments is based on the 2007 return. Adjustments can only be made next year.
I wish I had not made this one small mistake. Now that I have learned my lesson, I am sure it will not happen again.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Getting back to nature
Woodbury Bulletin - 07/16/2008
I grew up in a city in China with lots of people. As a child, I was never exposed to nature, like oceans with endless beaches, mountains too tall to climb for an average person, forests with wild animals.
All my life, I’ve pretty much been an indoor person.
I have never done camping or hiking. I have not done much in the way of sports. I learned to bike in my teens and I learned to swim in my twenties. I hardly do any outdoor activities.
Americans love to label and categorize people or problems. For example, there are many specific terms with the word disorder in them that label various behavioral problems.
I don’t know how many behavioral disorders there are. But surely there are a lot.
Here are just a few that come to my mind: attention deficit disorder, discipline deficit disorder, empathy deficit disorder, imagination deficit disorder, seasonal affective disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, conduct disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, acute stress disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, etc.
I have always felt very lucky that I am pretty “normal” and don’t have any disorders, until I came across the term “nature deficit disorder.” It made me think about myself and my lack of exposure and connection to nature.
Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” coined the term "nature-deficit disorder" in his 2005 book.
Nature deficit disorder refers to this trend that children are spending less time outdoors in nature which results in a wide range of problems, not only for their physical fitness, but also for their long-term mental and spiritual well-being.
Research has showed that kids today suffer health and psychological problems, including obesity, loneliness and depression from too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers, and too little time outdoors with nature.
Children growing up in the digital age are becoming increasingly alienated from the natural world. They detach from the natural world as they spend more time exploring the virtual world.
Their relationship with nature becomes more intellectual than personal. They know about nature, but they experience less nature.
Nowadays, kids are overscheduled with organized sports and other activities. They have less or no time for unstructured outdoor play or imaginative play.
In addition, parental fears and increased consumption of electronic media are also causes for this nature deficit phenomenon.
Nationwide, a back-to-nature movement to reconnect children with the outdoors is gaining ground.
In 2006, the No Child Left Inside Coalition (www.nclicoalition.org) was created to find new ways to encourage kids to experience nature and learn about the environment. It is composed of environmental, educational, and public health organizations dedicated to insuring a comprehensive education for all.
In 2007 legislation was introduced to strengthen and expand environmental education for America's children and to reconnect them with nature.
Congress is reauthorizing the No Child Left Behind law. The No Child Left Inside Act of 2007 (HR 3036 and S.1981) supports the inclusion of environmental education in the No Child Left Behind reauthorization bill.
The No Child Left Inside Act seeks to increase funding for environmental education, to provide new resources and incentives to states to enhance environmental education, to integrate environmental education across core subject areas including science or social studies classes, and to educate young people about the environment.
I like plants and gardening, and I like to walk around the lakes. That’s about all the nature I experience.
Though my knowledge about and connection with nature is very limited, I don’t have any behavioral problems the term “nature deficit disorder” refers to.
That’s why I don’t take the label seriously for myself. However, it did make me realize that something is missing in my life.
It is the outdoor life, the deep love and connection with the wondrous nature, as desired and experienced by so many people in this country and around the world.
I don’t want my kids to have nature deficit disorder due to too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers. I became conscious to do something to get them outside, and to limit their screen time.
When I saw that our school district was going to offer the Community Connections Summer Nature Day Camp, I thought that would be a great opportunity to get my kids outside and spend a week outdoor to learn about and enjoy nature.
The week-long nature day camp was too good to pass. It was not only educational; it was also free, with transportation and simple lunch included.
So during the week of July 7 to 11, my kids and some friends spent each day exploring the great outdoors at Valley Branch Environmental Learning Center (http://valleybranch.spps.org) in Afton. They learned about plants, wildlife, and the Native American culture. The camp provides learning beyond the classroom.
It is the mission of Valley Branch ELC to provide a meaningful outdoor learning experience which promotes life-long awareness toward the care and respect of our world.
I am thankful that my kids can have this wonderful experience provided by District 833 through the partnership with St. Paul Public Schools.
After the second day of the camp, my kids asked me, “Mom, can we go to the nature camp again next year?”
Unable to predict the future, I said, “Hopefully.”
I grew up in a city in China with lots of people. As a child, I was never exposed to nature, like oceans with endless beaches, mountains too tall to climb for an average person, forests with wild animals.
All my life, I’ve pretty much been an indoor person.
I have never done camping or hiking. I have not done much in the way of sports. I learned to bike in my teens and I learned to swim in my twenties. I hardly do any outdoor activities.
Americans love to label and categorize people or problems. For example, there are many specific terms with the word disorder in them that label various behavioral problems.
I don’t know how many behavioral disorders there are. But surely there are a lot.
Here are just a few that come to my mind: attention deficit disorder, discipline deficit disorder, empathy deficit disorder, imagination deficit disorder, seasonal affective disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, conduct disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, acute stress disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, etc.
I have always felt very lucky that I am pretty “normal” and don’t have any disorders, until I came across the term “nature deficit disorder.” It made me think about myself and my lack of exposure and connection to nature.
Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” coined the term "nature-deficit disorder" in his 2005 book.
Nature deficit disorder refers to this trend that children are spending less time outdoors in nature which results in a wide range of problems, not only for their physical fitness, but also for their long-term mental and spiritual well-being.
Research has showed that kids today suffer health and psychological problems, including obesity, loneliness and depression from too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers, and too little time outdoors with nature.
Children growing up in the digital age are becoming increasingly alienated from the natural world. They detach from the natural world as they spend more time exploring the virtual world.
Their relationship with nature becomes more intellectual than personal. They know about nature, but they experience less nature.
Nowadays, kids are overscheduled with organized sports and other activities. They have less or no time for unstructured outdoor play or imaginative play.
In addition, parental fears and increased consumption of electronic media are also causes for this nature deficit phenomenon.
Nationwide, a back-to-nature movement to reconnect children with the outdoors is gaining ground.
In 2006, the No Child Left Inside Coalition (www.nclicoalition.org) was created to find new ways to encourage kids to experience nature and learn about the environment. It is composed of environmental, educational, and public health organizations dedicated to insuring a comprehensive education for all.
In 2007 legislation was introduced to strengthen and expand environmental education for America's children and to reconnect them with nature.
Congress is reauthorizing the No Child Left Behind law. The No Child Left Inside Act of 2007 (HR 3036 and S.1981) supports the inclusion of environmental education in the No Child Left Behind reauthorization bill.
The No Child Left Inside Act seeks to increase funding for environmental education, to provide new resources and incentives to states to enhance environmental education, to integrate environmental education across core subject areas including science or social studies classes, and to educate young people about the environment.
I like plants and gardening, and I like to walk around the lakes. That’s about all the nature I experience.
Though my knowledge about and connection with nature is very limited, I don’t have any behavioral problems the term “nature deficit disorder” refers to.
That’s why I don’t take the label seriously for myself. However, it did make me realize that something is missing in my life.
It is the outdoor life, the deep love and connection with the wondrous nature, as desired and experienced by so many people in this country and around the world.
I don’t want my kids to have nature deficit disorder due to too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers. I became conscious to do something to get them outside, and to limit their screen time.
When I saw that our school district was going to offer the Community Connections Summer Nature Day Camp, I thought that would be a great opportunity to get my kids outside and spend a week outdoor to learn about and enjoy nature.
The week-long nature day camp was too good to pass. It was not only educational; it was also free, with transportation and simple lunch included.
So during the week of July 7 to 11, my kids and some friends spent each day exploring the great outdoors at Valley Branch Environmental Learning Center (http://valleybranch.spps.org) in Afton. They learned about plants, wildlife, and the Native American culture. The camp provides learning beyond the classroom.
It is the mission of Valley Branch ELC to provide a meaningful outdoor learning experience which promotes life-long awareness toward the care and respect of our world.
I am thankful that my kids can have this wonderful experience provided by District 833 through the partnership with St. Paul Public Schools.
After the second day of the camp, my kids asked me, “Mom, can we go to the nature camp again next year?”
Unable to predict the future, I said, “Hopefully.”
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Save by using your library
Woodbury Bulletin - 07/09/2008
It is a fact that the U.S. economy is in a downturn or a recession. People are worried about sky-rocketing gas prices and the cost of living, about losing jobs and finding jobs.
In today's economy, saving money becomes more important or necessary for many families.
One way to save money that many people might not think about is through use of the local library.
To loan, not to buy
If you like to read books or magazines, checking them out from the library instead of buying can save you some money.
Most of the books we read are only read once. It makes more sense for me to loan them than to buy them. We normally don’t buy something for only one time use and then let it collect dust.
I have not purchased any new books for myself for more than 10 years. The last time I had to buy a new book was when I was in graduate school. I couldn’t get the textbook any other way.
The more I use libraries, the less need I have to purchase my own books.
Three years ago I went back to China for a visit. I visited an uncle in Beijing. He is a bookworm and loves books more than anything. So he spends most of his money on books.
His multiple homes are filled with bookshelves full of books and CDs. His private collection might be big enough to fill a small library.
While I envy him for owning thousands of books, I am glad that I don't have to own any books myself to enjoy the benefits of reading.
It doesn't matter whether I am rich or poor, whether I can afford it or not, I can use libraries and have access to most books I want to read.
Even if my local library doesn't have what I want in its own collection, I can usually still get it through the interlibrary loan.
That is the beauty of libraries in the U.S.
I don't really care about owning thousands of books. What if I have to move again? That would be a nightmare.
Buy used
If you really like to own your books, you can buy used ones at libraries. You can often find nearly new books for $1 or less.
The Washington County Library has ongoing book sales in most branches. There is also a big book sale at several branches once a year.
Recreation and entertainment
We don’t usually think of library as a place for recreation and entertainment. But libraries offer plenty of services that serve such purposes.
If you want to watch movies, you don’t have to go to movie theaters or rent DVDs from stores. You can get them for free from the library.
Yes, you do have to wait for their release to get them, and you can not get the instant gratification of watching the latest movie, but this is a small price you have to pay.
Libraries have books, videos and DVDs that offer instructional and do-it-yourself lessons.
If you want to use an exercise video for your home exercise, or learn to practice yoga or how to dance, learn a foreign language, check out the resources from the library.
If you don’t have time to read, you can listen to books on tapes while driving or running or walking.
In addition to videos and DVDs, there are story hours all year around for children, and book clubs, meet-the-author or other special events for adults.
In summer, our library offers summer reading programs for kids, teens and adults.
Internet access and computer usage
If you don’t have a computer and Internet connection at home, you can go to any public library to use the public workstations there.
Computer usage is free but it’s usually limited to one hour per day tracked by your library card number.
Remote access
You don’t have to physically go to the library to take advantage of some of its resources.
You can save the time of driving and the cost of gas if you just want to access its catalog and electronic databases, renew materials or ask a reference question. You can do all these online, from your home.
Pass to museums
If you haven’t heard about and taken advantage of “The Museum Adventure Pass,” you should check it out at the library. You can use your library card to receive a Museum Adventure Pass.
Each pass is for two or four free admissions, depending on location, to one of the cultural destinations in Twin Cities, including Minnesota Zoo, Minneapolis Institute of Arts, Minnesota History Center, Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, etc.
If you add up the cost of buying new books, DVDs, CDs, subscribing to magazines, going to movies and museums, you will realize how much you can save by using your local library.
Library services and resources are free to use. They are paid for by people living in the community through taxes. We all pay our share for the library services, why not take advantage of them and use them for our benefits, and save money?
Library use should really be a part of our resourceful living strategy.
It is a fact that the U.S. economy is in a downturn or a recession. People are worried about sky-rocketing gas prices and the cost of living, about losing jobs and finding jobs.
In today's economy, saving money becomes more important or necessary for many families.
One way to save money that many people might not think about is through use of the local library.
To loan, not to buy
If you like to read books or magazines, checking them out from the library instead of buying can save you some money.
Most of the books we read are only read once. It makes more sense for me to loan them than to buy them. We normally don’t buy something for only one time use and then let it collect dust.
I have not purchased any new books for myself for more than 10 years. The last time I had to buy a new book was when I was in graduate school. I couldn’t get the textbook any other way.
The more I use libraries, the less need I have to purchase my own books.
Three years ago I went back to China for a visit. I visited an uncle in Beijing. He is a bookworm and loves books more than anything. So he spends most of his money on books.
His multiple homes are filled with bookshelves full of books and CDs. His private collection might be big enough to fill a small library.
While I envy him for owning thousands of books, I am glad that I don't have to own any books myself to enjoy the benefits of reading.
It doesn't matter whether I am rich or poor, whether I can afford it or not, I can use libraries and have access to most books I want to read.
Even if my local library doesn't have what I want in its own collection, I can usually still get it through the interlibrary loan.
That is the beauty of libraries in the U.S.
I don't really care about owning thousands of books. What if I have to move again? That would be a nightmare.
Buy used
If you really like to own your books, you can buy used ones at libraries. You can often find nearly new books for $1 or less.
The Washington County Library has ongoing book sales in most branches. There is also a big book sale at several branches once a year.
Recreation and entertainment
We don’t usually think of library as a place for recreation and entertainment. But libraries offer plenty of services that serve such purposes.
If you want to watch movies, you don’t have to go to movie theaters or rent DVDs from stores. You can get them for free from the library.
Yes, you do have to wait for their release to get them, and you can not get the instant gratification of watching the latest movie, but this is a small price you have to pay.
Libraries have books, videos and DVDs that offer instructional and do-it-yourself lessons.
If you want to use an exercise video for your home exercise, or learn to practice yoga or how to dance, learn a foreign language, check out the resources from the library.
If you don’t have time to read, you can listen to books on tapes while driving or running or walking.
In addition to videos and DVDs, there are story hours all year around for children, and book clubs, meet-the-author or other special events for adults.
In summer, our library offers summer reading programs for kids, teens and adults.
Internet access and computer usage
If you don’t have a computer and Internet connection at home, you can go to any public library to use the public workstations there.
Computer usage is free but it’s usually limited to one hour per day tracked by your library card number.
Remote access
You don’t have to physically go to the library to take advantage of some of its resources.
You can save the time of driving and the cost of gas if you just want to access its catalog and electronic databases, renew materials or ask a reference question. You can do all these online, from your home.
Pass to museums
If you haven’t heard about and taken advantage of “The Museum Adventure Pass,” you should check it out at the library. You can use your library card to receive a Museum Adventure Pass.
Each pass is for two or four free admissions, depending on location, to one of the cultural destinations in Twin Cities, including Minnesota Zoo, Minneapolis Institute of Arts, Minnesota History Center, Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, etc.
If you add up the cost of buying new books, DVDs, CDs, subscribing to magazines, going to movies and museums, you will realize how much you can save by using your local library.
Library services and resources are free to use. They are paid for by people living in the community through taxes. We all pay our share for the library services, why not take advantage of them and use them for our benefits, and save money?
Library use should really be a part of our resourceful living strategy.
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