Woodbury Bulletin - 12/17/2008
Recently, a lady from the church I attend gave me an early Christmas present at our book club gathering.
Cindy, an art teacher, is very creative. She made every woman in the group a bookmark with unique designs and different colors in the shape of a cross.
While I marveled at this beautiful handmade glass bookmark and at her creativity, I was also touched by her thoughtfulness and by this very special present, created specifically for each one of us.
What a great idea and a special present, I thought.
I like the idea of giving gifts from the heart and I like presents that are handmade.
Likewise, I know there are people who think it is cheap to give presents that are not store bought but handmade. They put a value on the present based on the price tag.
I know people who complain about presents they receive that are handmade. Because handmade presents usually don’t cost much in monetary value and don’t have a price tag, some people think they are not worth much, therefore they are not valuable.
For me, it is not the price of the present, it is the thought that counts.
For people who share the same value with me, here are some gift ideas that can be handmade and special.
If you like to write, you can write a letter or a poem to someone. Instead of sending a Christmas card with just a signature, write something personal. Share your thoughts and memories about the person. Elderly people will specially enjoy this kind of presents.
If you like to knit, you can make hats, scarves, mittens, socks or sweaters for people.
If you like to sew, you can make reusable fabric gift bags. Make them in the shape and approximate size of pillowcases out of fabrics, and use any leftover fabrics to make small bags.
You can reuse these bags every year for giving presents to your immediate family members. This will eliminate all wrapping paper, bows, tags, boxes, etc. year after year.
Other people will also appreciate receiving reusable fabric gift bags as presents.
If you like to do quilt, make a quilt for someone. It does not have to be so elaborated like the ones you see at the state fair, you can make a small and simple quilt.
Another lady with the name Sandy in the church once made an outfit for my daughter’s doll and also gave her a small quilt and tiny pillow for her doll. They were special gifts for us.
If you like to take pictures, you can make blank cards or a calendar using the photos you took yourself.
If you are good at working with digital photos, you can create a photo collage or a movie for people using their old and new photos. As it is often said, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” this is a great way to show someone’s life in pictures.
If you like to do scrap booking, make a photo album for a family member.
If you’re an artist and like to draw, make a picture or a portrait for someone.
If you like gardening and planting, give people plants that you have cut and grown from your own plants.
If you like to bake, bake come cookies, a cake or bread for someone.
If you like to cook, prepare a meal for a friend.
If you are a handy man, you can give someone a gift certificate for future repair and service in the area you are good at.
Everyone has a gift, a God given talent. We are all creative in our own ways. We don’t have to be artists to be creative.
If you really can’t think of anything creative or don’t know what you can create, how about creating coupons that offer free babysitting for a young family, or housework, yard work, cooking or snow shoveling for an elderly person or a get-together with a lonely person?
I wish to live in a culture in which we value handmade items, where we don’t judge people’s heart by how much they spend on us and where we do not feel embarrassed to give gifts that do not have a price tag
I want to be in an environment where we can cultivate more creativity and eliminate more spending and wasting, where we are encouraged to give what we have in us, not what we buy in stores.
I hope we can get back to the true meaning of Christmas and get away from the materialistic view of today's world.
Gifts, which do not come with price tags, can be priceless and more precious.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Advice for small business owners
Woodbury Bulletin - 12/10/2008
The current economic crisis hits hard for every business, big and small, from multinational corporations such as Citigroup to local small and home businesses.
I think it is especially difficult for small businesses that provide products and services in an increasingly competitive environment that we face today.
I am not a business owner, but I have experience dealing with small businesses. I would like to offer a few examples of common sense advice for small business owners based on my own observations.
Honesty is the best policy
Being honest in dealing with customers is the single most important thing to do as a business owner.
Trust is built on honest relationships. Do not, in your desire to make some extra money, cheat someone. Doing so will only cost you more in the long run.
Some years ago in Madison, Wis., I brought my car to a repair shop to get something fixed. The owner charged me more than he should. Maybe he thought I was a female, a minority and didn’t know anything, so he could rip me off.
When I found out that he overcharged me, I went back and confronted the owner. He gave me $40 back and said angrily, “Don’t come back again.”
I was not a fool. I wouldn’t go back even if he begged me.
Something similar also happened to me here in Woodbury. I brought my car for an oil change. The mechanic put some liquid in my car and charged me almost $20 for it.
Later when I confronted the manager, she said it was not necessary and refunded me the money.
Then through a friend’s referral, I found a small repair shop in St. Paul. The owner is very honest. He charges less than others.
If he thinks something does not need to be fixed, he tells the truth. He doesn’t try to make money by doing unnecessary repairs.
Even though he is farther away than the repair shops in town and because I trust him more than anyone, I would rather go to St. Paul for car repairs.
Let quality speak for itself
You can say as much as you want about how good your products and services are, but it is far better and effective to let your products and services speak for themselves.
I see quite a lot of advertisement and media publicity about a local auto shop.
But how can they expect me to believe and trust them when something like this happened: They claimed to have rotated my tires, but they didn’t do it.
Regardless of why it happened, I had to question their quality of work.
Even just one simple mistake can seriously damage your reputation. So make your quality count.
Keep your customers’ interests in mind
It is understandable that as average human beings we have our own best interest in mind.
But as business owners, you also have to keep your customers’ interests in mind. You cannot serve your own interest while sacrificing your customers’ interests.
If you can serve your customers above their expectations, they will be happy and come back. So always keep your customers’ best interests in mind as well as your own.
Think long term
Yes, you can make some quick money by cheating someone for some time, but you won’t be able to cheat everyone all the times.
Sooner or later, people will find out.
So, if you plan to stay in your business for a long time, you have to think long term and make wise choices.
Don’t just think about your profit today, but think about tomorrow and the future too. Only then can you grow and prosper.
Show respect and gratitude
In our competitive world and environment, there are many businesses that provide same or similar kinds of products or services as you do.
People have a lot of choices. They can go to different places for their needs and wants.
Why would people come back to you? How do you make people come back to you and stay loyal to you?
One way to do that is to show respect and gratitude. Let your customers know that you value their business and appreciate their loyalty.
Word of mouth is the best advertisement
Businesses spend a lot of money on advertisements.
While advertisements in local media are useful to make your businesses known to the public, I believe the best and most effective advertisement is the word of mouth.
If your customers are happy with your products and services, they will naturally refer their friends to you.
Personal testimonies from people we know have more power than anything we read in print.
And best yet, it’s free. It doesn’t cost you anything.
Give back to the community
As a business, you depend on the local community to survive. And your local community also depends on local businesses to thrive.
If there are any local programs you are interested in, support them in ways you can. Help their fundraising efforts.
By giving back to the local community that makes your business survival possible, you will be rewarded with more and loyal customers.
If you can put these common sense advices into practice, I think your business will do better than many others and also do well in the long run.
The current economic crisis hits hard for every business, big and small, from multinational corporations such as Citigroup to local small and home businesses.
I think it is especially difficult for small businesses that provide products and services in an increasingly competitive environment that we face today.
I am not a business owner, but I have experience dealing with small businesses. I would like to offer a few examples of common sense advice for small business owners based on my own observations.
Honesty is the best policy
Being honest in dealing with customers is the single most important thing to do as a business owner.
Trust is built on honest relationships. Do not, in your desire to make some extra money, cheat someone. Doing so will only cost you more in the long run.
Some years ago in Madison, Wis., I brought my car to a repair shop to get something fixed. The owner charged me more than he should. Maybe he thought I was a female, a minority and didn’t know anything, so he could rip me off.
When I found out that he overcharged me, I went back and confronted the owner. He gave me $40 back and said angrily, “Don’t come back again.”
I was not a fool. I wouldn’t go back even if he begged me.
Something similar also happened to me here in Woodbury. I brought my car for an oil change. The mechanic put some liquid in my car and charged me almost $20 for it.
Later when I confronted the manager, she said it was not necessary and refunded me the money.
Then through a friend’s referral, I found a small repair shop in St. Paul. The owner is very honest. He charges less than others.
If he thinks something does not need to be fixed, he tells the truth. He doesn’t try to make money by doing unnecessary repairs.
Even though he is farther away than the repair shops in town and because I trust him more than anyone, I would rather go to St. Paul for car repairs.
Let quality speak for itself
You can say as much as you want about how good your products and services are, but it is far better and effective to let your products and services speak for themselves.
I see quite a lot of advertisement and media publicity about a local auto shop.
But how can they expect me to believe and trust them when something like this happened: They claimed to have rotated my tires, but they didn’t do it.
Regardless of why it happened, I had to question their quality of work.
Even just one simple mistake can seriously damage your reputation. So make your quality count.
Keep your customers’ interests in mind
It is understandable that as average human beings we have our own best interest in mind.
But as business owners, you also have to keep your customers’ interests in mind. You cannot serve your own interest while sacrificing your customers’ interests.
If you can serve your customers above their expectations, they will be happy and come back. So always keep your customers’ best interests in mind as well as your own.
Think long term
Yes, you can make some quick money by cheating someone for some time, but you won’t be able to cheat everyone all the times.
Sooner or later, people will find out.
So, if you plan to stay in your business for a long time, you have to think long term and make wise choices.
Don’t just think about your profit today, but think about tomorrow and the future too. Only then can you grow and prosper.
Show respect and gratitude
In our competitive world and environment, there are many businesses that provide same or similar kinds of products or services as you do.
People have a lot of choices. They can go to different places for their needs and wants.
Why would people come back to you? How do you make people come back to you and stay loyal to you?
One way to do that is to show respect and gratitude. Let your customers know that you value their business and appreciate their loyalty.
Word of mouth is the best advertisement
Businesses spend a lot of money on advertisements.
While advertisements in local media are useful to make your businesses known to the public, I believe the best and most effective advertisement is the word of mouth.
If your customers are happy with your products and services, they will naturally refer their friends to you.
Personal testimonies from people we know have more power than anything we read in print.
And best yet, it’s free. It doesn’t cost you anything.
Give back to the community
As a business, you depend on the local community to survive. And your local community also depends on local businesses to thrive.
If there are any local programs you are interested in, support them in ways you can. Help their fundraising efforts.
By giving back to the local community that makes your business survival possible, you will be rewarded with more and loyal customers.
If you can put these common sense advices into practice, I think your business will do better than many others and also do well in the long run.
Less perfect, more carefree
Woodbury Bulletin - 12/03/2008
During the holiday season, I find more and more articles with headings such as “Flawless Thanksgiving” or “Perfect Christmas” appearing in newspapers, magazines or on the Internet.
As someone who is not a perfectionist, my immediate reaction after reading such headings is, “It’s not for me.” I often skip reading those articles.
I would rather have a “stress-less” or “carefree” holiday than a “flawless” or “perfect” one.
I think if our goal is a “flawless” and “perfect” holiday, we can set ourselves up for more stress and some disappointments.
Yes, we can plan ahead and be creative. We can spend less, shop less, buy less, cook less, wrap less, waste less, do less and be stress-less. We can try our best to create “the most memorable” Thanksgiving or Christmas.
But to have it “flawless,” “perfect” or even “stress-free” is a sure way to more stress and some disappointment.
In my opinion, our perfectionist attitude can also create a barrier for people in deepening their relationships.
I remember a few years ago I was looking at an old photo of my parents eating a meal with some relatives in their small apartment. Instead of enjoying my parents’ smiling faces and looking at the wonderful food they had prepared for the relatives, my first thought was, “Look, how cluttered the place is! The cabinet in the background was full of stuff on top of each other. It is embarrassing to have guests there!”
Then it hit me. I shouldn’t have had such a thought. I knew nobody at the dinner table paid any attention to the clutter in the background.
In the old days, we didn’t have telephones. We often visited relatives and friends without notices in advance. A lot of things we did were spontaneous. If we felt like it, we simply walked to someone’s home for a visit.
It wasn’t in our conscious mind at that time that we couldn’t have visitors over because we were not prepared for having visitors, or because our home looked messy and cluttered, and therefore was not presentable or embarrassing.
Only after living in the U.S. for many years and have visiing many “flawless” and “perfect” looking homes did I become aware that my home is not as “flawless” and “perfect” as others are.
I don’t have my interior designed by a professional. I don’t have expensive sets of furniture. I don’t have fancy decorations. I don’t have matching curtains. I don’t have masterpiece paintings on the wall. I don’t use a white table cloth. I don’t use a centerpiece. I don’t have a perfectly clean kitchen because I cook every day.
Even though I personally don’t care about any of these things I don’t have and use, and I don’t care about how perfect or imperfect others’ houses are, my non-perfectionist attitude and my imperfect house do create a barrier more or less for me in terms of hospitality.
I am not a big party person, but I do enjoy talking with individuals and getting to know people. I enjoy sharing some conversations with people over a simple meal.
But when I go to parties, and see so much emphasis focused on the perfect setting, the perfect food, the perfect of everything, I feel inadequate when doing the same thing.
When we focus so much on appearances, we have to spend lots of time and energy on cleaning, decorating, shopping, preparing, cooking so we can have a perfect party or a perfect holiday.
Then more and more we shy away from doing parties, because it is too much work and becomes too overwhelming.
So, people get together less often and become less connected. There are fewer quality and deep relationships.
The more perfectionism I see in others, the more distant I feel.
I know I am not the only one who feels stressed by the perfectionist attitude in our society.
A friend whom I considered a perfectionist once told me she felt more relaxed when she visited other people’s homes that were less than perfect.
Perfectionism can certainly make our own lives and others’ harder and more stressful.
I would rather live my life in a less perfect and less stressful way than having things flawless and perfect with more stress and anxiety attached.
Like many things in life, we just can’t eat our cake and have it, too.
If we want to enjoy our holiday with less stress and craziness, then we should let loose or let go some of our perfectionism.
I wish you all a stress-less holiday season!
During the holiday season, I find more and more articles with headings such as “Flawless Thanksgiving” or “Perfect Christmas” appearing in newspapers, magazines or on the Internet.
As someone who is not a perfectionist, my immediate reaction after reading such headings is, “It’s not for me.” I often skip reading those articles.
I would rather have a “stress-less” or “carefree” holiday than a “flawless” or “perfect” one.
I think if our goal is a “flawless” and “perfect” holiday, we can set ourselves up for more stress and some disappointments.
Yes, we can plan ahead and be creative. We can spend less, shop less, buy less, cook less, wrap less, waste less, do less and be stress-less. We can try our best to create “the most memorable” Thanksgiving or Christmas.
But to have it “flawless,” “perfect” or even “stress-free” is a sure way to more stress and some disappointment.
In my opinion, our perfectionist attitude can also create a barrier for people in deepening their relationships.
I remember a few years ago I was looking at an old photo of my parents eating a meal with some relatives in their small apartment. Instead of enjoying my parents’ smiling faces and looking at the wonderful food they had prepared for the relatives, my first thought was, “Look, how cluttered the place is! The cabinet in the background was full of stuff on top of each other. It is embarrassing to have guests there!”
Then it hit me. I shouldn’t have had such a thought. I knew nobody at the dinner table paid any attention to the clutter in the background.
In the old days, we didn’t have telephones. We often visited relatives and friends without notices in advance. A lot of things we did were spontaneous. If we felt like it, we simply walked to someone’s home for a visit.
It wasn’t in our conscious mind at that time that we couldn’t have visitors over because we were not prepared for having visitors, or because our home looked messy and cluttered, and therefore was not presentable or embarrassing.
Only after living in the U.S. for many years and have visiing many “flawless” and “perfect” looking homes did I become aware that my home is not as “flawless” and “perfect” as others are.
I don’t have my interior designed by a professional. I don’t have expensive sets of furniture. I don’t have fancy decorations. I don’t have matching curtains. I don’t have masterpiece paintings on the wall. I don’t use a white table cloth. I don’t use a centerpiece. I don’t have a perfectly clean kitchen because I cook every day.
Even though I personally don’t care about any of these things I don’t have and use, and I don’t care about how perfect or imperfect others’ houses are, my non-perfectionist attitude and my imperfect house do create a barrier more or less for me in terms of hospitality.
I am not a big party person, but I do enjoy talking with individuals and getting to know people. I enjoy sharing some conversations with people over a simple meal.
But when I go to parties, and see so much emphasis focused on the perfect setting, the perfect food, the perfect of everything, I feel inadequate when doing the same thing.
When we focus so much on appearances, we have to spend lots of time and energy on cleaning, decorating, shopping, preparing, cooking so we can have a perfect party or a perfect holiday.
Then more and more we shy away from doing parties, because it is too much work and becomes too overwhelming.
So, people get together less often and become less connected. There are fewer quality and deep relationships.
The more perfectionism I see in others, the more distant I feel.
I know I am not the only one who feels stressed by the perfectionist attitude in our society.
A friend whom I considered a perfectionist once told me she felt more relaxed when she visited other people’s homes that were less than perfect.
Perfectionism can certainly make our own lives and others’ harder and more stressful.
I would rather live my life in a less perfect and less stressful way than having things flawless and perfect with more stress and anxiety attached.
Like many things in life, we just can’t eat our cake and have it, too.
If we want to enjoy our holiday with less stress and craziness, then we should let loose or let go some of our perfectionism.
I wish you all a stress-less holiday season!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The love letter - the kids’ reaction
Woodbury Bulletin - 11/26/2008
In my last column, I wrote about my love letter to my son which was the parents’ homework assigned by his fifth grade teacher at Liberty Ridge Elementary, Mrs. Lynda Caughron.
Mrs. Caughron has been a teacher for 23 years. More than 10 years ago while working on a project, she got the idea of asking parents to write a love letter to the students in her class.
She had so much positive experiences and feedback that she has kept doing it ever since.
“The love letter gives me the opportunity to learn more about my students early in the year through the eyes of the people who love them the most,” Caughron said.
“It helps to create a special bond and connection between each student and me. It helps to establish a more personal relationship, because I know something special about each person.
“This in turn creates a safe environment for students to learn, to share and to grow.”
Caughron can recall many times when she laughed and cried with her students.
“Kids grin from ear to ear when I read their parents’ thoughts and compliments. It is always a memorable experience.”
I was curious about the reactions from the students. I wanted to look into their minds and hearts and find out what they think of the love letter and how they feel about it.
Thanks to Caughron and her class, I was able to peek into their world and in the process learn a few valuable lessons on how to be a better parent.
Every child wants to feel special, happy, and loved.
Most kids say that the love letter makes them feel special, happy, and loved. I really like some of the expressions they used.
“When my parents wrote me that letter, it made me feel very warm inside. I felt so special. My mom and dad obviously care about me very much. The letter was dripping with compliments. It was an awesome letter. I love my parents so much, and I know they love me just the same.”— Danny Aboyan
“It made me feel so great. I can’t describe it. I was all smile after Mrs. Caughron read the letter to me. I felt happy and fuzzy. It feels good to hear someone praise you. It reminded me that they love me and they always did and always will.” — Megan Ball
“The love letter … made me feel so special. Like I was the only person on Earth that was loved. And hearing those words, ‘We traveled half way around the world to adopt our wonderful daughter,’ just made me feel invincible. And I was reminded how much they truly love me.” — Nichole Dopkins
“I felt special. I was quite touched. I felt a burst of happiness. I felt quite excited. It made me think of how much they care about me always. I might have been a bit embarrassed. My favorite part was when my mom said that I am a very special young man.” — Aaron Duebner
“I was feeling very teary. I just wanted to cry tears of joy.” — Allison Schneider
“When I started to read the letters, I started to go back in time. I held back tears, because I never knew how many good things my parents had to say about me.” —Molly Hickey
“I felt happy reading the letter I almost thought I was going to cry.” — Dominik Ruzicka
“Wow! My parents really really really love me.” — Sam Phipps
Every child wants to be complimented, known, understood and valued by his parents.
Naturally, some feel nervous, anxious, even scared or frightened in the beginning because they didn’t know what was in the envelope or what their parents said about them.
“As Mrs Caughron slowly opened my letter, I was frightened. I was anxious to see what lied sleeping waiting to be awaken. As I read this I had a smile across my face.” — Julie Abjean
“At the beginning, I was very scared. … But then when I saw the letter, I cooled my jets and smiled. They wrote things that made me happy. At the end, … I think wow, they do know me!” — Erin Cheatham
“It felt good. I haven’t had anyone ever compliment me like that.” — Shannon Calkins
Kids feel proud when they hear positive comments.
When parents tell others about the good things their kids have done or the things they are good at, it makes them proud.
“Proud because my brother considered me as his best friend.” — Kyle Walters
“I felt a little bit embarrassed but very happy about some of the achievements written in the letter. The letter also brought back some very happy memories.” — Grant Feuer
Don’t be afraid to make your child do things.
Many parents let their kids make the decision and do what they want. I think it’s OK to make kids do things they don’t like to do, if you think they will benefit from that.
“I know my family loves me! I also know they will always love me! My mom made me start playing softball two years ago. I had lots of fun. She also made me start playing the trumpet. I’m glad she made me do softball and trumpet. I love my family!” — Mackenzie Ryan
I wish I had space to include every student’s response from Mrs. Caughron’s class here. But even just these selected responses are enough to demonstrate why Caughron has used this idea for years and why it has been a huge success.
I hope during this holiday season, you will take some time to write a love letter to your child or someone you love. This is one of the most precious gifts you can give.
I am sure every receiver will treasure this kind of love letter.
In my last column, I wrote about my love letter to my son which was the parents’ homework assigned by his fifth grade teacher at Liberty Ridge Elementary, Mrs. Lynda Caughron.
Mrs. Caughron has been a teacher for 23 years. More than 10 years ago while working on a project, she got the idea of asking parents to write a love letter to the students in her class.
She had so much positive experiences and feedback that she has kept doing it ever since.
“The love letter gives me the opportunity to learn more about my students early in the year through the eyes of the people who love them the most,” Caughron said.
“It helps to create a special bond and connection between each student and me. It helps to establish a more personal relationship, because I know something special about each person.
“This in turn creates a safe environment for students to learn, to share and to grow.”
Caughron can recall many times when she laughed and cried with her students.
“Kids grin from ear to ear when I read their parents’ thoughts and compliments. It is always a memorable experience.”
I was curious about the reactions from the students. I wanted to look into their minds and hearts and find out what they think of the love letter and how they feel about it.
Thanks to Caughron and her class, I was able to peek into their world and in the process learn a few valuable lessons on how to be a better parent.
Every child wants to feel special, happy, and loved.
Most kids say that the love letter makes them feel special, happy, and loved. I really like some of the expressions they used.
“When my parents wrote me that letter, it made me feel very warm inside. I felt so special. My mom and dad obviously care about me very much. The letter was dripping with compliments. It was an awesome letter. I love my parents so much, and I know they love me just the same.”— Danny Aboyan
“It made me feel so great. I can’t describe it. I was all smile after Mrs. Caughron read the letter to me. I felt happy and fuzzy. It feels good to hear someone praise you. It reminded me that they love me and they always did and always will.” — Megan Ball
“The love letter … made me feel so special. Like I was the only person on Earth that was loved. And hearing those words, ‘We traveled half way around the world to adopt our wonderful daughter,’ just made me feel invincible. And I was reminded how much they truly love me.” — Nichole Dopkins
“I felt special. I was quite touched. I felt a burst of happiness. I felt quite excited. It made me think of how much they care about me always. I might have been a bit embarrassed. My favorite part was when my mom said that I am a very special young man.” — Aaron Duebner
“I was feeling very teary. I just wanted to cry tears of joy.” — Allison Schneider
“When I started to read the letters, I started to go back in time. I held back tears, because I never knew how many good things my parents had to say about me.” —Molly Hickey
“I felt happy reading the letter I almost thought I was going to cry.” — Dominik Ruzicka
“Wow! My parents really really really love me.” — Sam Phipps
Every child wants to be complimented, known, understood and valued by his parents.
Naturally, some feel nervous, anxious, even scared or frightened in the beginning because they didn’t know what was in the envelope or what their parents said about them.
“As Mrs Caughron slowly opened my letter, I was frightened. I was anxious to see what lied sleeping waiting to be awaken. As I read this I had a smile across my face.” — Julie Abjean
“At the beginning, I was very scared. … But then when I saw the letter, I cooled my jets and smiled. They wrote things that made me happy. At the end, … I think wow, they do know me!” — Erin Cheatham
“It felt good. I haven’t had anyone ever compliment me like that.” — Shannon Calkins
Kids feel proud when they hear positive comments.
When parents tell others about the good things their kids have done or the things they are good at, it makes them proud.
“Proud because my brother considered me as his best friend.” — Kyle Walters
“I felt a little bit embarrassed but very happy about some of the achievements written in the letter. The letter also brought back some very happy memories.” — Grant Feuer
Don’t be afraid to make your child do things.
Many parents let their kids make the decision and do what they want. I think it’s OK to make kids do things they don’t like to do, if you think they will benefit from that.
“I know my family loves me! I also know they will always love me! My mom made me start playing softball two years ago. I had lots of fun. She also made me start playing the trumpet. I’m glad she made me do softball and trumpet. I love my family!” — Mackenzie Ryan
I wish I had space to include every student’s response from Mrs. Caughron’s class here. But even just these selected responses are enough to demonstrate why Caughron has used this idea for years and why it has been a huge success.
I hope during this holiday season, you will take some time to write a love letter to your child or someone you love. This is one of the most precious gifts you can give.
I am sure every receiver will treasure this kind of love letter.
The love letter - a parental project
Woodbury Bulletin - 11/19/2008
Being out of school for more years than I can remember, my homework days would seem to be long over. So doing homework was not on my mind when I went with my kids to their school open house at the end of August.
Unexpectedly, my son’s fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Lynda Caughron at Liberty Ridge Elementary, gave every parent a sealed envelope containing a homework assignment for the parents.
“Your homework assignment is to write your child a ‘love letter,’ describing all the wonderful things about your fifth-grader. Brag about your kid to your heart’s content, but please keep it a secret from your child. I will read it with your child at a private conference. Your child will know in early weeks of school that I have knowledge of their ‘special’ characteristics and virtues that might not otherwise be discovered until later or never revealed in the school setting.”
You would think you know your child better than anyone on earth. It should be easy to write about him/her, right? But it was not an easy homework assignment for me, I have to admit.
When you live with someone day in and day out and know that person intimately, you tend to think more about problems and weaknesses. You focus more on what the child should do, but is not doing, and what he is doing, but should do better or differently.
We don’t really take the time to think about and appreciate the good qualities of that person.
When I asked my daughter about her strengths to give me some inspiration for writing to my son, her response was: “I don’t have any strength, I have muscles.” So that wasn’t much help.
I kept putting it off during the first week. I wasn’t sure what to write.
In the second week, I couldn’t procrastinate any longer.
I didn’t want to set a bad example for my son by turning in homework late. And I didn’t want him to be the only kid in class whose parent didn’t do the required assignment promptly.
So I made myself to do the homework. But once I started writing the letter, it wasn’t that hard at all. Ideas kept coming and I ended up with a letter three pages long.
First, I told him that I am very thankful to have him as my son. I listed some of his good characteristics.
He is a nice kid, well behaved and mature. He is a gentle person, a good big brother and a hard worker.
I told him that I am glad he knows more than I do in some subjects. I shared an anecdote about our visit to the American History Museum in Washington, D.C. in June 2007.
At that time he had just completed third grade and was very interested in all U.S. presidents and the 50 states. He could name all the presidents and knew their exact order.
While we were sitting on a bench resting, there was a TV nearby with the presidents flashing on the screen. He named all the presidents as fast as the pictures appeared.
When we were ready to leave, a woman sitting next to us said to me, “I was amazed by how much your son knows about the presidents. I am a teacher and my sixth grade students don't know as much as he does.”
I continued in my letter: “This shows you can be really good at anything you are interested in and spend time working on. I hope you will take that same enthusiasm and hard working attitude to other subjects and areas in school and in life.”
Then I suggested that he set some goals for himself in the new school year and provided him with some ideas.
I could have stopped here, but I felt I needed something else to make this letter more authentic, something that comes from my heart and soul that could touch his heart more deeply. So I continued:
“As your Mom, I have high hopes and expectations for you. I ask you to do things I think are good for you, which are not necessarily what you like to do now.”
“I try to be the best Mom I can be for you, but parenting is a learning process for me. It’s a hard job. We are in this together.
“I know I make lots of mistakes, some I am aware of and some I might not even be aware of. I know I don’t have patience and often yell too much at you for not listening to me or for making repeated mistakes, even though I understand that nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
“I am really sorry if I have hurt you and I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. No matter what wrongs I have done to you, please remember, I don’t intend to hurt you and I love you very much.
“And no matter what you do, I will always love you, because you are my son and I am your mom, forever.”
I spent several hours writing the letter. And before I sent it in, I spent another hour adding some stickers and a picture to decorate the letter and make it more interesting. I was very happy with the end result and felt great that I did it.
I am also thankful to Mrs. Caughron for giving parents this homework assignment.
Through the letter, the teacher gets to know each child and each family better. This creates a special bond between the teacher and the child.
The thoughts and feelings parents share in the letter can make their child feel special and loved. This strengthens the parent-child relationship.
In the end, everyone — the teacher, the child and the parent — benefits from this letter.
(I will write about students’ reactions to the love letters in next week’s column.)
Being out of school for more years than I can remember, my homework days would seem to be long over. So doing homework was not on my mind when I went with my kids to their school open house at the end of August.
Unexpectedly, my son’s fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Lynda Caughron at Liberty Ridge Elementary, gave every parent a sealed envelope containing a homework assignment for the parents.
“Your homework assignment is to write your child a ‘love letter,’ describing all the wonderful things about your fifth-grader. Brag about your kid to your heart’s content, but please keep it a secret from your child. I will read it with your child at a private conference. Your child will know in early weeks of school that I have knowledge of their ‘special’ characteristics and virtues that might not otherwise be discovered until later or never revealed in the school setting.”
You would think you know your child better than anyone on earth. It should be easy to write about him/her, right? But it was not an easy homework assignment for me, I have to admit.
When you live with someone day in and day out and know that person intimately, you tend to think more about problems and weaknesses. You focus more on what the child should do, but is not doing, and what he is doing, but should do better or differently.
We don’t really take the time to think about and appreciate the good qualities of that person.
When I asked my daughter about her strengths to give me some inspiration for writing to my son, her response was: “I don’t have any strength, I have muscles.” So that wasn’t much help.
I kept putting it off during the first week. I wasn’t sure what to write.
In the second week, I couldn’t procrastinate any longer.
I didn’t want to set a bad example for my son by turning in homework late. And I didn’t want him to be the only kid in class whose parent didn’t do the required assignment promptly.
So I made myself to do the homework. But once I started writing the letter, it wasn’t that hard at all. Ideas kept coming and I ended up with a letter three pages long.
First, I told him that I am very thankful to have him as my son. I listed some of his good characteristics.
He is a nice kid, well behaved and mature. He is a gentle person, a good big brother and a hard worker.
I told him that I am glad he knows more than I do in some subjects. I shared an anecdote about our visit to the American History Museum in Washington, D.C. in June 2007.
At that time he had just completed third grade and was very interested in all U.S. presidents and the 50 states. He could name all the presidents and knew their exact order.
While we were sitting on a bench resting, there was a TV nearby with the presidents flashing on the screen. He named all the presidents as fast as the pictures appeared.
When we were ready to leave, a woman sitting next to us said to me, “I was amazed by how much your son knows about the presidents. I am a teacher and my sixth grade students don't know as much as he does.”
I continued in my letter: “This shows you can be really good at anything you are interested in and spend time working on. I hope you will take that same enthusiasm and hard working attitude to other subjects and areas in school and in life.”
Then I suggested that he set some goals for himself in the new school year and provided him with some ideas.
I could have stopped here, but I felt I needed something else to make this letter more authentic, something that comes from my heart and soul that could touch his heart more deeply. So I continued:
“As your Mom, I have high hopes and expectations for you. I ask you to do things I think are good for you, which are not necessarily what you like to do now.”
“I try to be the best Mom I can be for you, but parenting is a learning process for me. It’s a hard job. We are in this together.
“I know I make lots of mistakes, some I am aware of and some I might not even be aware of. I know I don’t have patience and often yell too much at you for not listening to me or for making repeated mistakes, even though I understand that nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
“I am really sorry if I have hurt you and I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. No matter what wrongs I have done to you, please remember, I don’t intend to hurt you and I love you very much.
“And no matter what you do, I will always love you, because you are my son and I am your mom, forever.”
I spent several hours writing the letter. And before I sent it in, I spent another hour adding some stickers and a picture to decorate the letter and make it more interesting. I was very happy with the end result and felt great that I did it.
I am also thankful to Mrs. Caughron for giving parents this homework assignment.
Through the letter, the teacher gets to know each child and each family better. This creates a special bond between the teacher and the child.
The thoughts and feelings parents share in the letter can make their child feel special and loved. This strengthens the parent-child relationship.
In the end, everyone — the teacher, the child and the parent — benefits from this letter.
(I will write about students’ reactions to the love letters in next week’s column.)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Room to read, books to share
Woodbury Bulletin - 11/12/2008
Every time I visit my children's school or a public library, I think about how fortunate the kids are in this country. They have books — lots of books — to read.
I marvel at how nice a library can be. So many books!
I am surprised to see how many books each teacher has in her own classroom. All are available for students to use and read.
How I wish I had grown up in this kind of environment where books are so readily available for everyone, rich or poor.
But I didn’t have the fortune as a child growing up in China. My parents were not rich enough to buy me books.
I didn't have money to rent books on the street, as it was common then. I didn't go to a public library. Books and reading were not a part of my early life.
Several years ago when I first read about John Wood and his “Room to Read” non-profit organization, I felt really inspired and still do today.
That's because I very much appreciate the work he does in order to meet the educational needs of millions of children in the developing countries, to have books to read and to gain a good education.
Wood is the founder and CEO of Room to Read and the author of an award-winning memoir, “Leaving Microsoft to Change the World” (2006).
In 1998, Wood was a senior executive at Microsoft when he took a vacation in Nepal that changed his life.
The defining moment happened when he was invited to visit a local school and was shocked to see the poverty.
In the so-called “library,” there were no desks, no chairs, no shelves. The few books available were so precious that they were kept under lock and key — to protect them from the children.
Wood made the decision to come back with books. But he did much more than that.
One year later, he left Microsoft to start an organization that had no brand recognition and no capital. What it did have was his passion and energy.
What started as a vacation in the Himalayas became a spiritual journey, and then a mission: to change the world one book and one child at a time.
Room to Read's goal is to provide educational access to 10 million children in the developing world, to help them gain the lifelong gift of education.
Room to Read strives to break the cycle of poverty through the power of education.
Currently in Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Sri Lanka, Laos, Bangladesh, South Africa and Zambia, Room to Read works with rural communities to build schools, establish bilingual libraries and computer labs, publish local language children’s books, and provide long-term scholarships to girls.
Room to Read has several programs. And there are different ways people in this country can help and get involved. One of them is the “Students Helping Students” campaign.
Students Helping Students is designed to further global education, understanding, and philanthropy in the hearts and minds of the students, teachers, and parents who are interested in partnering with Room to Read.
Through this campaign, students can learn about the geography, language, and cultures of other countries.
They can learn about the daily lives of the children they are helping. They also learn to value the books and the education they have, and learn to appreciate their own good life. They can develop leadership skills, creativity, and the courage to get involved and make a difference by helping others.
Since inception in 2000, Room to Read has opened 444 schools, established over 5,630 bilingual libraries and 155 computer and language labs, published 226 new local language children's titles representing over two million books, donated over 2.2 million English language children's books, funded 6,922 long-term girls’ scholarships.
So far, Room to Read has impacted the lives of over 1.9 million children (and counting) worldwide.
Room to Read began as one individual’s vision to share his love of reading with children of a rural Nepali village and has now become a global movement of promoting literacy and education. The organization is now one of the fastest growing non-profits of the last decade.
Wood has been recognized as a "21st century Andrew Carnegie." [Andrew Carnegie helped build over 2,500 libraries in the United States and around the world in the early 20th century]
I think Room to Read is a great charitable project for our schools to get involved in. By partnering with Room to Read and raising funds for its programs, students can learn some valuable lessons and do something good for the society.
Like Bill Gates, John Wood is my hero. He has inspired me. And I know he has inspired many others worldwide and will continue to do so.
John Wood is changing the world. So can you and I.
For more information about John Wood and Room to Read, visit www.leavingmicrosoftbook.com and www.roomtoread.org.
Every time I visit my children's school or a public library, I think about how fortunate the kids are in this country. They have books — lots of books — to read.
I marvel at how nice a library can be. So many books!
I am surprised to see how many books each teacher has in her own classroom. All are available for students to use and read.
How I wish I had grown up in this kind of environment where books are so readily available for everyone, rich or poor.
But I didn’t have the fortune as a child growing up in China. My parents were not rich enough to buy me books.
I didn't have money to rent books on the street, as it was common then. I didn't go to a public library. Books and reading were not a part of my early life.
Several years ago when I first read about John Wood and his “Room to Read” non-profit organization, I felt really inspired and still do today.
That's because I very much appreciate the work he does in order to meet the educational needs of millions of children in the developing countries, to have books to read and to gain a good education.
Wood is the founder and CEO of Room to Read and the author of an award-winning memoir, “Leaving Microsoft to Change the World” (2006).
In 1998, Wood was a senior executive at Microsoft when he took a vacation in Nepal that changed his life.
The defining moment happened when he was invited to visit a local school and was shocked to see the poverty.
In the so-called “library,” there were no desks, no chairs, no shelves. The few books available were so precious that they were kept under lock and key — to protect them from the children.
Wood made the decision to come back with books. But he did much more than that.
One year later, he left Microsoft to start an organization that had no brand recognition and no capital. What it did have was his passion and energy.
What started as a vacation in the Himalayas became a spiritual journey, and then a mission: to change the world one book and one child at a time.
Room to Read's goal is to provide educational access to 10 million children in the developing world, to help them gain the lifelong gift of education.
Room to Read strives to break the cycle of poverty through the power of education.
Currently in Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Sri Lanka, Laos, Bangladesh, South Africa and Zambia, Room to Read works with rural communities to build schools, establish bilingual libraries and computer labs, publish local language children’s books, and provide long-term scholarships to girls.
Room to Read has several programs. And there are different ways people in this country can help and get involved. One of them is the “Students Helping Students” campaign.
Students Helping Students is designed to further global education, understanding, and philanthropy in the hearts and minds of the students, teachers, and parents who are interested in partnering with Room to Read.
Through this campaign, students can learn about the geography, language, and cultures of other countries.
They can learn about the daily lives of the children they are helping. They also learn to value the books and the education they have, and learn to appreciate their own good life. They can develop leadership skills, creativity, and the courage to get involved and make a difference by helping others.
Since inception in 2000, Room to Read has opened 444 schools, established over 5,630 bilingual libraries and 155 computer and language labs, published 226 new local language children's titles representing over two million books, donated over 2.2 million English language children's books, funded 6,922 long-term girls’ scholarships.
So far, Room to Read has impacted the lives of over 1.9 million children (and counting) worldwide.
Room to Read began as one individual’s vision to share his love of reading with children of a rural Nepali village and has now become a global movement of promoting literacy and education. The organization is now one of the fastest growing non-profits of the last decade.
Wood has been recognized as a "21st century Andrew Carnegie." [Andrew Carnegie helped build over 2,500 libraries in the United States and around the world in the early 20th century]
I think Room to Read is a great charitable project for our schools to get involved in. By partnering with Room to Read and raising funds for its programs, students can learn some valuable lessons and do something good for the society.
Like Bill Gates, John Wood is my hero. He has inspired me. And I know he has inspired many others worldwide and will continue to do so.
John Wood is changing the world. So can you and I.
For more information about John Wood and Room to Read, visit www.leavingmicrosoftbook.com and www.roomtoread.org.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
We’re hooked on high tech
Woodbury Bulletin - 11/05/2008
Lately, my 1999 Dodge Caravan has been acting weird. It really worries me.
While driving to and from work this past week on highway, the interior light — including the dashboard light — suddenly flashed like lightning in a second. At the same time I could hear the automatic door clicking.
The same thing happened a couple of times, maybe a year ago. But this time it happened with more frequency.
I called a Chrysler dealership to ask what the problem could be. I thought the mechanics would be able to give me some ideas of what the possible causes were, how serious the problem was and if it was a really urgent problem that I had to stop driving right away.
But the person I talked to could not, or would not, give me any ideas about the problem or how serious the problem was. He only said he had to do a diagnosis in order to find the problem.
I could certainly understand the reason why he didn’t want to say anything about the urgency of the problem without looking at my van.
But I was a little frustrated that he couldn't tell me what the possible causes were based on the description of the problem.
To be safe, I made the appointment to get the van checked on the same day I called. A computer diagnosistic was done as well as test driving. But no problem was found.
I knew something was wrong. It had happened again on the way to the Chrysler dealership.
But the expert couldn’t find the problem and couldn’t tell what the problem was. Money was spent without the problem being fixed.
I did get some peace of mind and the advice: It’s fine to drive. Just bring it back when the flashing happens again.
This reminds me of something I have noticed after living in this country for a while. Some people rely so heavily on external devices that they become almost handicapped without them.
Let me give a few examples to show what I mean.
I have never seen my grandmother or my parents cooking with a recipe. And I don't cook with recipe either. But I have heard some people here say that they don't know how to cook without a recipe. They can only go by the book.
No wonder there are so many cookbooks here.
This could be a cultural difference, but could also be a generational difference.
Several years ago while I was at a grocery store checkout line, the power went out. It was interesting to watch what happened. The cashier didn't know how to give change without the cash machine.
Now, I am not good at math at all. Honestly, I can’t solve some math problems my fifth grade son is learning.
Yet, I have no difficulty calculating changes using my brain. It’s actually easier and faster to do so than using a calculator.
But in this country or in our modern society, we are so dependent on calculators and computers that some don't learn and know how to use the brain to do calculation.
The most obvious example comes from the medical field. Many of our modern doctors cannot diagnose a problem without medical devices.
If you have a health problem, the doctor will ask you to do a lot of different tests in order to do a diagnosis and find a problem. If the tests can not find any problem, then you have no problem, at least from the doctor's perspective.
A few years ago, I had a health problem with my heart. I felt especially uncomfortable at night. I went to see a doctor.
He couldn't find anything wrong. He said he would have to put me on a 24-hour monitoring in order to find out. That was too much testing for me and I didn't do it. Luckily the problem went away without any medical intervention.
I think a good doctor should be able to give some ideas of what the problems could be and what the causes could be based on the description of the symptoms.
But a lot of doctors now are so specialized in their own areas that they can't see the whole picture, and they are so dependent on medical devices that they can't tell anything without first doing some tests.
No wonder the medical cost gets higher and higher, because we are doing more unnecessary tests.
I remember my old days in China. There were not many medical devices. Doctors didn't do many tests. They often made diagnosis based on their own experiences and their five senses.
They asked more questions. They looked at your skin color or your tongue, listened to your heart beat, and felt you pulse, etc. They could tell where and what the problem was.
Here is a paradox of our modern society.
On the one hand, we are more advanced in technology. We invent great things and seem smarter.
But on the other hand, we become more handicapped and less smart. We only know how to push some buttons and let the computer or other devices tell us what it is and what to do. We are helpless without them.
Meanwhile, if any mechanically talented reader has an idea of what my van's problem could be, I would be interested in hearing about it.
At least I can then tell the Chrysler dealership where to look for the problem and possibly to fix it. I don’t want to drive my van and have to worry about safety for myself and other people.
I still think our human brain is smarter than the computer, because we can think while the computer can only do what the brain has programmed it to do.
Lately, my 1999 Dodge Caravan has been acting weird. It really worries me.
While driving to and from work this past week on highway, the interior light — including the dashboard light — suddenly flashed like lightning in a second. At the same time I could hear the automatic door clicking.
The same thing happened a couple of times, maybe a year ago. But this time it happened with more frequency.
I called a Chrysler dealership to ask what the problem could be. I thought the mechanics would be able to give me some ideas of what the possible causes were, how serious the problem was and if it was a really urgent problem that I had to stop driving right away.
But the person I talked to could not, or would not, give me any ideas about the problem or how serious the problem was. He only said he had to do a diagnosis in order to find the problem.
I could certainly understand the reason why he didn’t want to say anything about the urgency of the problem without looking at my van.
But I was a little frustrated that he couldn't tell me what the possible causes were based on the description of the problem.
To be safe, I made the appointment to get the van checked on the same day I called. A computer diagnosistic was done as well as test driving. But no problem was found.
I knew something was wrong. It had happened again on the way to the Chrysler dealership.
But the expert couldn’t find the problem and couldn’t tell what the problem was. Money was spent without the problem being fixed.
I did get some peace of mind and the advice: It’s fine to drive. Just bring it back when the flashing happens again.
This reminds me of something I have noticed after living in this country for a while. Some people rely so heavily on external devices that they become almost handicapped without them.
Let me give a few examples to show what I mean.
I have never seen my grandmother or my parents cooking with a recipe. And I don't cook with recipe either. But I have heard some people here say that they don't know how to cook without a recipe. They can only go by the book.
No wonder there are so many cookbooks here.
This could be a cultural difference, but could also be a generational difference.
Several years ago while I was at a grocery store checkout line, the power went out. It was interesting to watch what happened. The cashier didn't know how to give change without the cash machine.
Now, I am not good at math at all. Honestly, I can’t solve some math problems my fifth grade son is learning.
Yet, I have no difficulty calculating changes using my brain. It’s actually easier and faster to do so than using a calculator.
But in this country or in our modern society, we are so dependent on calculators and computers that some don't learn and know how to use the brain to do calculation.
The most obvious example comes from the medical field. Many of our modern doctors cannot diagnose a problem without medical devices.
If you have a health problem, the doctor will ask you to do a lot of different tests in order to do a diagnosis and find a problem. If the tests can not find any problem, then you have no problem, at least from the doctor's perspective.
A few years ago, I had a health problem with my heart. I felt especially uncomfortable at night. I went to see a doctor.
He couldn't find anything wrong. He said he would have to put me on a 24-hour monitoring in order to find out. That was too much testing for me and I didn't do it. Luckily the problem went away without any medical intervention.
I think a good doctor should be able to give some ideas of what the problems could be and what the causes could be based on the description of the symptoms.
But a lot of doctors now are so specialized in their own areas that they can't see the whole picture, and they are so dependent on medical devices that they can't tell anything without first doing some tests.
No wonder the medical cost gets higher and higher, because we are doing more unnecessary tests.
I remember my old days in China. There were not many medical devices. Doctors didn't do many tests. They often made diagnosis based on their own experiences and their five senses.
They asked more questions. They looked at your skin color or your tongue, listened to your heart beat, and felt you pulse, etc. They could tell where and what the problem was.
Here is a paradox of our modern society.
On the one hand, we are more advanced in technology. We invent great things and seem smarter.
But on the other hand, we become more handicapped and less smart. We only know how to push some buttons and let the computer or other devices tell us what it is and what to do. We are helpless without them.
Meanwhile, if any mechanically talented reader has an idea of what my van's problem could be, I would be interested in hearing about it.
At least I can then tell the Chrysler dealership where to look for the problem and possibly to fix it. I don’t want to drive my van and have to worry about safety for myself and other people.
I still think our human brain is smarter than the computer, because we can think while the computer can only do what the brain has programmed it to do.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Help (lines) in times of need
Woodbury Bulletin - 10/29/2008
• 9-1-1
We all know to call 911 in an emergency. Dialing 911 from any telephone will link the caller to an emergency dispatch center which will provide the caller access to police, fire and ambulance services.
In most areas, dialing 911 on a traditional landline telephone automatically gives dispatch the caller’s address.
This provides emergency responders with the location of the emergency without the caller having to provide it. This is very useful in times of fires, break-ins, kidnapping and other events where communicating one's location is difficult or impossible.
(I found that out years ago when I wrongly dialed 911. I hung up the phone immediately after I realized that I made a mistake. A few minutes later, to my surprise, a policeman showed up at my door to check if everything was OK.)
But many people probably don’t know that there are other Federal Communications Commission (FCC) designated telephone numbers available for non-emergency use.
In times of need and for various reasons, like some in our community are now experiencing due to loss of job or house, we can call these numbers to get help.
• 2-1-1
211 is used in the U.S. and Canada to provide quick and free information and referrals to health and human service organizations. It allows people to get help and give help.
Every day, people are in need of essential human services — food and clothing, affordable housing, healthcare, employment resources, childcare and parenting programs, senior and youth services, counseling, education, utility and financial assistance, immigration, legal help, transportation, volunteer/donation opportunities and other vital community services.
211 connects individuals and families in need with the appropriate community-based organizations and government agencies.
It is an easy way for people in need to navigate the complex and ever-growing maze of human services.
It ensures that people in need can obtain assistance from the most appropriate community-based organizations or local and national government agencies.
In Minnesota, United Way 2-1-1 works in partnership with other organizations to provide 2-1-1 services statewide, using a statewide database of over 40,000 community resources.
It’s free, confidential and available 24 /7. Multilingual service is also available.
211 also provides a single access point in the event of a local disaster or national emergency.
In 2007, the 211 call center coordinated disaster relief and case management after the I-35W Bridge collapse. It was instrumental in providing assistance to the victims and their families after the disaster.
If calling from a cell phone, use 651-291-0211 (metro) or 1-800-543-7709 (outstate).
For more information, visit www.211.org, http://211us.org, or www.211unitedway.org.
• 3-1-1
311 is used in the U.S. and Canada for non-emergency municipal government information and services. Since 311 is a relatively new service, it is not widely used. In Twin Cities, people living within the Minneapolis city limits can call 311 to access city services and information.
For more information, visit www.311service.org or www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/311/
• 4-1-1
411 is used in the U.S. and Canada for local and national directory assistance. If you want to know what the address of a building is, or the telephone number of a company, you can all 411 to get the information. 411 calls are not free.
• 5-1-1
511 is America's traveler information telephone number. It is a transportation and traffic information telephone hotline in some regions of the U.S. Travelers can dial 511on traditional landline telephones and most mobile phones.
511 gives commuters and travelers access to information regarding weather-related road conditions, construction and congestion, 24/7.
In 2000, the FCC approved 511 for nationwide use along with 211. Minnesota Dept. of Transportation is one of the first state DOTs to implement the 511 service.
The following information is available in Minnesota via 511 call or 511 website (www.511mn.org): road conditions, traffic incidents, current construction, public transit in Minnesota, commercial vehicle permits and restrictions.
Traffic cameras in the Metro Area and many locations in greater Minnesota provide images of traffic and weather conditions for 511.
• 6-1-1
611 is used in the U.S. and Canada for phone service customers to report a problem with telephone service or with a payphone. Many mobile phone service providers also use 611 as a general customer service number. The 611number is not officially assigned by the FCC. Only customers of some telephone companies have access to it.
• 7-1-1
711 is used in the U.S. and Canada for access to Telecommunications Relay Service (TRS). TRS permits persons with a hearing or speech disability to use the telephone system via a text telephone or other device to call persons with or without such disabilities. 711 lets these people talk through an operator, by turning the words into something that can be read on a telecommunications device for the deaf (TDD).
I hope I don’t need to use these phone numbers and services, but they will certainly be handy in times of need. So I thought it is good to know and worth to share with others.
[Editor’s note: In case you’re wondering if there’s a general “8-1-1” number with a distinctive function, the answer is no. 811 used to be a direct line to the business office of the specific telephone company providing service on the line. 611 took the place of 811 in 2007.]
• 9-1-1
We all know to call 911 in an emergency. Dialing 911 from any telephone will link the caller to an emergency dispatch center which will provide the caller access to police, fire and ambulance services.
In most areas, dialing 911 on a traditional landline telephone automatically gives dispatch the caller’s address.
This provides emergency responders with the location of the emergency without the caller having to provide it. This is very useful in times of fires, break-ins, kidnapping and other events where communicating one's location is difficult or impossible.
(I found that out years ago when I wrongly dialed 911. I hung up the phone immediately after I realized that I made a mistake. A few minutes later, to my surprise, a policeman showed up at my door to check if everything was OK.)
But many people probably don’t know that there are other Federal Communications Commission (FCC) designated telephone numbers available for non-emergency use.
In times of need and for various reasons, like some in our community are now experiencing due to loss of job or house, we can call these numbers to get help.
• 2-1-1
211 is used in the U.S. and Canada to provide quick and free information and referrals to health and human service organizations. It allows people to get help and give help.
Every day, people are in need of essential human services — food and clothing, affordable housing, healthcare, employment resources, childcare and parenting programs, senior and youth services, counseling, education, utility and financial assistance, immigration, legal help, transportation, volunteer/donation opportunities and other vital community services.
211 connects individuals and families in need with the appropriate community-based organizations and government agencies.
It is an easy way for people in need to navigate the complex and ever-growing maze of human services.
It ensures that people in need can obtain assistance from the most appropriate community-based organizations or local and national government agencies.
In Minnesota, United Way 2-1-1 works in partnership with other organizations to provide 2-1-1 services statewide, using a statewide database of over 40,000 community resources.
It’s free, confidential and available 24 /7. Multilingual service is also available.
211 also provides a single access point in the event of a local disaster or national emergency.
In 2007, the 211 call center coordinated disaster relief and case management after the I-35W Bridge collapse. It was instrumental in providing assistance to the victims and their families after the disaster.
If calling from a cell phone, use 651-291-0211 (metro) or 1-800-543-7709 (outstate).
For more information, visit www.211.org, http://211us.org, or www.211unitedway.org.
• 3-1-1
311 is used in the U.S. and Canada for non-emergency municipal government information and services. Since 311 is a relatively new service, it is not widely used. In Twin Cities, people living within the Minneapolis city limits can call 311 to access city services and information.
For more information, visit www.311service.org or www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/311/
• 4-1-1
411 is used in the U.S. and Canada for local and national directory assistance. If you want to know what the address of a building is, or the telephone number of a company, you can all 411 to get the information. 411 calls are not free.
• 5-1-1
511 is America's traveler information telephone number. It is a transportation and traffic information telephone hotline in some regions of the U.S. Travelers can dial 511on traditional landline telephones and most mobile phones.
511 gives commuters and travelers access to information regarding weather-related road conditions, construction and congestion, 24/7.
In 2000, the FCC approved 511 for nationwide use along with 211. Minnesota Dept. of Transportation is one of the first state DOTs to implement the 511 service.
The following information is available in Minnesota via 511 call or 511 website (www.511mn.org): road conditions, traffic incidents, current construction, public transit in Minnesota, commercial vehicle permits and restrictions.
Traffic cameras in the Metro Area and many locations in greater Minnesota provide images of traffic and weather conditions for 511.
• 6-1-1
611 is used in the U.S. and Canada for phone service customers to report a problem with telephone service or with a payphone. Many mobile phone service providers also use 611 as a general customer service number. The 611number is not officially assigned by the FCC. Only customers of some telephone companies have access to it.
• 7-1-1
711 is used in the U.S. and Canada for access to Telecommunications Relay Service (TRS). TRS permits persons with a hearing or speech disability to use the telephone system via a text telephone or other device to call persons with or without such disabilities. 711 lets these people talk through an operator, by turning the words into something that can be read on a telecommunications device for the deaf (TDD).
I hope I don’t need to use these phone numbers and services, but they will certainly be handy in times of need. So I thought it is good to know and worth to share with others.
[Editor’s note: In case you’re wondering if there’s a general “8-1-1” number with a distinctive function, the answer is no. 811 used to be a direct line to the business office of the specific telephone company providing service on the line. 611 took the place of 811 in 2007.]
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Peace in times of trouble
Woodbury Bulletin - 10/22/2008
When I called my parents this past weekend, my 75-year-old father sounded very upset. And I can understand why.
Both of my parents have lived frugally through their whole life, first out of necessity, later more out of habit. They lived below their means and saved as much as they could.
A few years ago, my brother took my parents’ money and invested it in the stock market, with the good intention to make some more money for them.
For several years, the interest rate kept falling and the stock market went up like crazy in China. Everyone wanted to get in the market and no one wanted to be left out of the easy money making game. It didn’t make sense to have money sitting in the bank and lose value.
Now with the stock market crash in China and around the world, my parents lost a lot of their savings. They didn’t even know how much was lost. My brother didn’t want to tell them.
I feel sorry for my parents and for their loss. It was their hard-earned money and their life savings. My parents know nothing about investing and just wanted safety with their money.
But I don’t blame my brother for what he did. He had good intentions. I just wish he had listened to my father when father asked him to take the money out when the market was doing well.
I offered my father a few words of comfort.
“Everyone is losing money in this market meltdown worldwide. If you leave the money in the market, it will come back some day. If you need money for living, I will certainly help you out whenever I can.”
Knowing my father’s personality, I doubt that my words could ease his anxiety and reduce his high blood pressure.
I wish my father could feel the calm and peace that I have.
Over 10 years ago, to be more self-dependent, I learned about personal finance and investing. I started to invest in my retirement account through my employer, later when I had kids, also in their college savings accounts.
So, over the years I have accumulated some money in various accounts. Like everyone else, my accounts went down in the recent weeks. But the market meltdown has not bothered me. I have not checked how much I have lost.
And I have certainly not lost any sleep over it. That’s because I know something my father does not know and we are in different life-stages, too.
Here is what I know that keeps me calm and in peace.
I know investing is for the long term. When I first learned about investing, I used to check the stock market quotes in the newspaper to find out how my mutual funds were doing. Then I stopped doing that.
Why should I waste my time and care about the short term performance of the market?
I know investing has risks. The stock market goes up and down. It doesn’t just go one way.
I know the advantage of dollar-cost averaging to reduce risk. When the market goes down, the same amount I allocate to invest can buy more shares.
I know the rule to buy low and sell high. This is not a time to panic or to sell. It is actually a good time to buy.
I know not to follow the crowd, in investing as well as in life. I don’t want to do something because everyone else is doing it.
If something is very hot and popular in the market, then it’s time to be cautious. It is likely too late to follow.
Most of all, I know I am a child of God and I am in His hands.
No matter what happens in the stock market and in life, no matter how much money I have or lose, I will be fine.
Because He is the rock on which I stand, everything else can be sinking sand. I know it is better to surrender than to worry.
Had my father known all that I know, I think he would not be as upset and anxious as he is now.
Please help me pray for my father and everyone else in difficult financial situations for peace and serenity in this time of trouble.
Let us remember the “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
When I called my parents this past weekend, my 75-year-old father sounded very upset. And I can understand why.
Both of my parents have lived frugally through their whole life, first out of necessity, later more out of habit. They lived below their means and saved as much as they could.
A few years ago, my brother took my parents’ money and invested it in the stock market, with the good intention to make some more money for them.
For several years, the interest rate kept falling and the stock market went up like crazy in China. Everyone wanted to get in the market and no one wanted to be left out of the easy money making game. It didn’t make sense to have money sitting in the bank and lose value.
Now with the stock market crash in China and around the world, my parents lost a lot of their savings. They didn’t even know how much was lost. My brother didn’t want to tell them.
I feel sorry for my parents and for their loss. It was their hard-earned money and their life savings. My parents know nothing about investing and just wanted safety with their money.
But I don’t blame my brother for what he did. He had good intentions. I just wish he had listened to my father when father asked him to take the money out when the market was doing well.
I offered my father a few words of comfort.
“Everyone is losing money in this market meltdown worldwide. If you leave the money in the market, it will come back some day. If you need money for living, I will certainly help you out whenever I can.”
Knowing my father’s personality, I doubt that my words could ease his anxiety and reduce his high blood pressure.
I wish my father could feel the calm and peace that I have.
Over 10 years ago, to be more self-dependent, I learned about personal finance and investing. I started to invest in my retirement account through my employer, later when I had kids, also in their college savings accounts.
So, over the years I have accumulated some money in various accounts. Like everyone else, my accounts went down in the recent weeks. But the market meltdown has not bothered me. I have not checked how much I have lost.
And I have certainly not lost any sleep over it. That’s because I know something my father does not know and we are in different life-stages, too.
Here is what I know that keeps me calm and in peace.
I know investing is for the long term. When I first learned about investing, I used to check the stock market quotes in the newspaper to find out how my mutual funds were doing. Then I stopped doing that.
Why should I waste my time and care about the short term performance of the market?
I know investing has risks. The stock market goes up and down. It doesn’t just go one way.
I know the advantage of dollar-cost averaging to reduce risk. When the market goes down, the same amount I allocate to invest can buy more shares.
I know the rule to buy low and sell high. This is not a time to panic or to sell. It is actually a good time to buy.
I know not to follow the crowd, in investing as well as in life. I don’t want to do something because everyone else is doing it.
If something is very hot and popular in the market, then it’s time to be cautious. It is likely too late to follow.
Most of all, I know I am a child of God and I am in His hands.
No matter what happens in the stock market and in life, no matter how much money I have or lose, I will be fine.
Because He is the rock on which I stand, everything else can be sinking sand. I know it is better to surrender than to worry.
Had my father known all that I know, I think he would not be as upset and anxious as he is now.
Please help me pray for my father and everyone else in difficult financial situations for peace and serenity in this time of trouble.
Let us remember the “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Education is a joint venture
Woodbury Bulletin - 10/15/2008
I firmly believe that our children’s education is a joint venture and a shared responsibility done by students, parents, teachers and society, all working together to make a difference.
• Students
Learning and getting a good education is important for each child. All students need the full support of their parents, teachers and society to reach their full potential.
If we want our kids to do well in school, we need to have parents who value education, teachers who are passionate about their work and a society in which intellectual achievement is recognized.
• Parents
A parent is the first life-long teacher for a child. As parents, we have the responsibility to teach our children, starting as early as possible.
I know moms who practiced fetal education during pregnancy. They talked to their babies or let their babies listen to music while still in womb. The results show that fetal education is effective. As far as I can tell, these kids are very smart and talented.
For most parents, though, education becomes an important issue only after the babies are born or when they reach school age. It’s never too late to start. And it’s better late than never.
It’s our job as parents to provide a good learning environment for our children and to be good role models for them as life-long learners.
We can read to our children, take them to libraries and buy them books as gifts instead of toys.
We can help them with homework, get involved in their school activities, go to the teacher conferences and have good communication with teachers to stay informed of what’s going on in the classrooms.
A teacher friend in an urban school system once told me that many of her students’ parents don’t come to the teacher conferences.
A parent whose son was very much into all kinds of sports once said to me: “I don’t teach my son at home. It is his teacher’s job.”
If parents are not interested in their children’s learning, don’t value education or don’t respect teachers, it is hard to expect these kids to do very well in school.
Then these parents often blame teachers or schools for not doing a good job if their kids do not do well in school. I think it is not fair for the teachers and schools.
Teachers don’t bear the whole responsibilities of educating students. Parents play an even more important role.
So, if our children don’t do well in school, we have to first ask ourselves how we are doing as parents, not point fingers at others at the outset.
• Teachers
Teachers certainly have one of the most important jobs in the world. They have the power to change and transform lives.
My own life is a good testimony to that incredible power and influence teachers have over their students.
I can say without any exaggeration that I wouldn’t be here today had I not met my high school English teacher. He was my English teacher for only one year, but that one year determined my future and changed my life forever.
He was the best teacher I have ever known. He could transform an average student to an excellent student. Thanks to him, I had the fortune to go to one of the best universities in China.
Even though he passed away a few years ago, I still think of him often, with deepest gratitude for what he has done for me and all of his students.
When I think about what made him such a great and special teacher, several things come to my mind. I believe all great teachers share some common characteristics.
Good teachers are passionate about the work they do. They dedicate their lives to their profession and their students. They do more and give more than the average teachers. They go the extra miles.
They are good because they know how to teach and are good at what they do. They can make a boring subject interesting.
They can awaken interest in students who are not interested in the beginning. They have the respect of students. They care about their students. They treat them like their own kids.
They are generous. They give their time, their knowledge and wisdom, and resources often bought with their own money to the students.
They are good teachers because they are good people in the first place. Their own lives are an inspiration for the students. Because of them, students strive to do better and be better.
I feel so lucky that I had a teacher who embodied these characteristics. Because of him, I did better than I would have done without him.
• Society
Parents and teachers play important roles in a child’s education. But the society and the culture in which we live in are also important.
I think in American society, we value athletic achievements more than academic achievements. We idolize athletes to the extreme. That’s why many young people and their parents spend much more time and efforts in sports than in learning.
We idolize a lot of things and people that lack substance.
I remember many years ago while I was a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, I met a women from Germany. When I asked her what she thought of this country, she said she didn’t like it here, because “America has no culture.”
America as a country does not have a long history, comparing to Germany or other countries. America certainly has a lot of pop culture, but in her view, lacks substance.
I hope we could have some cultural shift in this country. We would put more value on education and academic achievement.
Maybe some day, those people who win Nobel prizes can at least enjoy the same social status as some celebrity athletes, if not more. These are the people who will leave a bigger legacy for the mankind. And they deserve more recognition and respect.
I firmly believe that our children’s education is a joint venture and a shared responsibility done by students, parents, teachers and society, all working together to make a difference.
• Students
Learning and getting a good education is important for each child. All students need the full support of their parents, teachers and society to reach their full potential.
If we want our kids to do well in school, we need to have parents who value education, teachers who are passionate about their work and a society in which intellectual achievement is recognized.
• Parents
A parent is the first life-long teacher for a child. As parents, we have the responsibility to teach our children, starting as early as possible.
I know moms who practiced fetal education during pregnancy. They talked to their babies or let their babies listen to music while still in womb. The results show that fetal education is effective. As far as I can tell, these kids are very smart and talented.
For most parents, though, education becomes an important issue only after the babies are born or when they reach school age. It’s never too late to start. And it’s better late than never.
It’s our job as parents to provide a good learning environment for our children and to be good role models for them as life-long learners.
We can read to our children, take them to libraries and buy them books as gifts instead of toys.
We can help them with homework, get involved in their school activities, go to the teacher conferences and have good communication with teachers to stay informed of what’s going on in the classrooms.
A teacher friend in an urban school system once told me that many of her students’ parents don’t come to the teacher conferences.
A parent whose son was very much into all kinds of sports once said to me: “I don’t teach my son at home. It is his teacher’s job.”
If parents are not interested in their children’s learning, don’t value education or don’t respect teachers, it is hard to expect these kids to do very well in school.
Then these parents often blame teachers or schools for not doing a good job if their kids do not do well in school. I think it is not fair for the teachers and schools.
Teachers don’t bear the whole responsibilities of educating students. Parents play an even more important role.
So, if our children don’t do well in school, we have to first ask ourselves how we are doing as parents, not point fingers at others at the outset.
• Teachers
Teachers certainly have one of the most important jobs in the world. They have the power to change and transform lives.
My own life is a good testimony to that incredible power and influence teachers have over their students.
I can say without any exaggeration that I wouldn’t be here today had I not met my high school English teacher. He was my English teacher for only one year, but that one year determined my future and changed my life forever.
He was the best teacher I have ever known. He could transform an average student to an excellent student. Thanks to him, I had the fortune to go to one of the best universities in China.
Even though he passed away a few years ago, I still think of him often, with deepest gratitude for what he has done for me and all of his students.
When I think about what made him such a great and special teacher, several things come to my mind. I believe all great teachers share some common characteristics.
Good teachers are passionate about the work they do. They dedicate their lives to their profession and their students. They do more and give more than the average teachers. They go the extra miles.
They are good because they know how to teach and are good at what they do. They can make a boring subject interesting.
They can awaken interest in students who are not interested in the beginning. They have the respect of students. They care about their students. They treat them like their own kids.
They are generous. They give their time, their knowledge and wisdom, and resources often bought with their own money to the students.
They are good teachers because they are good people in the first place. Their own lives are an inspiration for the students. Because of them, students strive to do better and be better.
I feel so lucky that I had a teacher who embodied these characteristics. Because of him, I did better than I would have done without him.
• Society
Parents and teachers play important roles in a child’s education. But the society and the culture in which we live in are also important.
I think in American society, we value athletic achievements more than academic achievements. We idolize athletes to the extreme. That’s why many young people and their parents spend much more time and efforts in sports than in learning.
We idolize a lot of things and people that lack substance.
I remember many years ago while I was a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, I met a women from Germany. When I asked her what she thought of this country, she said she didn’t like it here, because “America has no culture.”
America as a country does not have a long history, comparing to Germany or other countries. America certainly has a lot of pop culture, but in her view, lacks substance.
I hope we could have some cultural shift in this country. We would put more value on education and academic achievement.
Maybe some day, those people who win Nobel prizes can at least enjoy the same social status as some celebrity athletes, if not more. These are the people who will leave a bigger legacy for the mankind. And they deserve more recognition and respect.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
China: A different story
Woodbury Bulletin - 10/08/2008
Generally speaking, the news reports about China have been very negative in the U.S., and usually for good reason.
Government corruption, pollution, religious prosecution, food and product safety problems illustrated by the recent recalls of tainted toys, pet food and baby milk power are just a few areas in the news regarding China.
As a native Chinese, I really feel bad about all these problems.
In my previous columns, I have talked about my life in China, growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, about its hardships.
Life was incredibly difficult back then, due to the dictatorship under Chairman Mao, his political movements and natural disasters, too.
But I hope all this didn’t give you the impression that China is still a poor country or everything about China is negative.
Today’s China is a very different country than the one I knew as a young person. It is totally different from the one I left 22 years ago.
Not long ago, I met a university professor who visited China for the first time. He knew some history about old China, but not much about modern day China.
He told me: “I was so na?ve about China before my trip.”
The trip was an eye-opening experience for him.
I am sure most people who watched the recent Olympic Games in Beijing were very impressed by the opening ceremonies and the performances.
I don’t go back to China often. The last two times I went back were in 1998 and 2005. I was so surprised by the changes. It was just unbelievable.
Even people who go back to China more regularly see big changes immediately.
Many Chinese families live in Woodbury. When our parents come to visit us here, one comment I have heard more than once is: Minnesota, or Woodbury, is like the countryside.
Minnesota and Woodbury certainly can not compare with places in China when it comes to population, traffic volumes, tall buildings, businesses, restaurants, entertainments, etc.
China is a very vibrant and dynamic country now. The whole country is under construction. Big and tall buildings, houses, highways, railroads, shopping centers and entertainment centers, etc. are being built everywhere.
China is moving from dictatorship to more democracy, from stagnation to growth, from low tech to high tech, from poor to rich.
One can probably think of China as someone in their youth, rapidly growing, while the U.S. is more like someone in middle age, things are slowing down. One is at sunrise; the other is at or past noon and approaching sunset.
While most people still think of China as a third- or second-world country, in some respects China is actually more advanced than the U.S.
Take public transportation, for example.
In the last two or three decades, China has been building its infrastructure. New roads, highways, bridges, airports, railroads, and subways are being built at a rapid speed.
Many roads and bridges in the U.S. are deteriorating. The infrastructure is aging and hasn’t been kept up in this same time period.
In the U.S., it could take 20 or 30 years to build a highway or finish a project. But in China, it takes much less time.
China has convenient and efficient mass transit bus systems in cities. One can basically go anywhere on buses.
Bikes are still popular transportation tools, not mainly for leisure like here.
Taxis are everywhere. You can catch one on the street by waving your hand.
Major cities have built or are still building subways. Even my hometown Suzhou (next to Shanghai) is building its own subway system.
China has an extensive railway system. One can travel across the country by train. Railway stations are usually in a busy part of town. Big cities may have more than one train station.
Even though air travel has increased in popularity, travel by train has always been and still is the most popular and economic way of traveling long distance in China.
When I was in college in Beijing in early 1980s, I use to take a train to go home once or twice every year. I think the train ride took a day and a night, in a sitting or standing position.
Now, express railways exist between major cities. The express train between Beijing and my hometown lasts only a night’s sleep.
The new high-speed Beijing-Shanghai express railway is under construction. It is planned to be 819 miles long and will be the longest single-phase high-speed railway ever built in the world. Its top speed is expected to be 220 mph, cutting Beijing to Shanghai travel time further down from 10 hours to five hours.
You can travel from Beijing to Tibet by train. It is 2,525 miles and takes 48 hours.
Shanghai has the fastest and largest commercial high-speed maglev line in the world. The Shanghai Maglev Train can reach 220 mph in two minutes, with a top operational speed of 268 mph. It transports people 18.6 miles to the airport in just seven minutes, 20 seconds.
True, China still has a lot of problems. But China has also experienced big changes and improvements never seen anywhere else in the world.
In this vibrant and dynamic environment, you can expect a lot of surprises, some good and some bad.
The media reports about China can easily create a very negative image of the country. To see and experience China from a different perspective, to hear a different story, one should really visit the country.
Otherwise, one could become na?ve about China, just like the professor admitted.
Generally speaking, the news reports about China have been very negative in the U.S., and usually for good reason.
Government corruption, pollution, religious prosecution, food and product safety problems illustrated by the recent recalls of tainted toys, pet food and baby milk power are just a few areas in the news regarding China.
As a native Chinese, I really feel bad about all these problems.
In my previous columns, I have talked about my life in China, growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, about its hardships.
Life was incredibly difficult back then, due to the dictatorship under Chairman Mao, his political movements and natural disasters, too.
But I hope all this didn’t give you the impression that China is still a poor country or everything about China is negative.
Today’s China is a very different country than the one I knew as a young person. It is totally different from the one I left 22 years ago.
Not long ago, I met a university professor who visited China for the first time. He knew some history about old China, but not much about modern day China.
He told me: “I was so na?ve about China before my trip.”
The trip was an eye-opening experience for him.
I am sure most people who watched the recent Olympic Games in Beijing were very impressed by the opening ceremonies and the performances.
I don’t go back to China often. The last two times I went back were in 1998 and 2005. I was so surprised by the changes. It was just unbelievable.
Even people who go back to China more regularly see big changes immediately.
Many Chinese families live in Woodbury. When our parents come to visit us here, one comment I have heard more than once is: Minnesota, or Woodbury, is like the countryside.
Minnesota and Woodbury certainly can not compare with places in China when it comes to population, traffic volumes, tall buildings, businesses, restaurants, entertainments, etc.
China is a very vibrant and dynamic country now. The whole country is under construction. Big and tall buildings, houses, highways, railroads, shopping centers and entertainment centers, etc. are being built everywhere.
China is moving from dictatorship to more democracy, from stagnation to growth, from low tech to high tech, from poor to rich.
One can probably think of China as someone in their youth, rapidly growing, while the U.S. is more like someone in middle age, things are slowing down. One is at sunrise; the other is at or past noon and approaching sunset.
While most people still think of China as a third- or second-world country, in some respects China is actually more advanced than the U.S.
Take public transportation, for example.
In the last two or three decades, China has been building its infrastructure. New roads, highways, bridges, airports, railroads, and subways are being built at a rapid speed.
Many roads and bridges in the U.S. are deteriorating. The infrastructure is aging and hasn’t been kept up in this same time period.
In the U.S., it could take 20 or 30 years to build a highway or finish a project. But in China, it takes much less time.
China has convenient and efficient mass transit bus systems in cities. One can basically go anywhere on buses.
Bikes are still popular transportation tools, not mainly for leisure like here.
Taxis are everywhere. You can catch one on the street by waving your hand.
Major cities have built or are still building subways. Even my hometown Suzhou (next to Shanghai) is building its own subway system.
China has an extensive railway system. One can travel across the country by train. Railway stations are usually in a busy part of town. Big cities may have more than one train station.
Even though air travel has increased in popularity, travel by train has always been and still is the most popular and economic way of traveling long distance in China.
When I was in college in Beijing in early 1980s, I use to take a train to go home once or twice every year. I think the train ride took a day and a night, in a sitting or standing position.
Now, express railways exist between major cities. The express train between Beijing and my hometown lasts only a night’s sleep.
The new high-speed Beijing-Shanghai express railway is under construction. It is planned to be 819 miles long and will be the longest single-phase high-speed railway ever built in the world. Its top speed is expected to be 220 mph, cutting Beijing to Shanghai travel time further down from 10 hours to five hours.
You can travel from Beijing to Tibet by train. It is 2,525 miles and takes 48 hours.
Shanghai has the fastest and largest commercial high-speed maglev line in the world. The Shanghai Maglev Train can reach 220 mph in two minutes, with a top operational speed of 268 mph. It transports people 18.6 miles to the airport in just seven minutes, 20 seconds.
True, China still has a lot of problems. But China has also experienced big changes and improvements never seen anywhere else in the world.
In this vibrant and dynamic environment, you can expect a lot of surprises, some good and some bad.
The media reports about China can easily create a very negative image of the country. To see and experience China from a different perspective, to hear a different story, one should really visit the country.
Otherwise, one could become na?ve about China, just like the professor admitted.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Become a well-informed voter
Woodbury Bulletin - 10/01/2008
The 2008 presidential election is just one month away. Are you ready for it?
I know some people are not. In fact, I am one of them.
When my kids recently asked me for whom I am going to vote for president, I had to say, “I am not really sure.”
The truth is, I have not done much research and reading about the candidates.
Lack of time, lack of political knowledge or lack of interest in politics can all be my excuses, but I know one excuse I cannot use is lack of information.
There is a huge quantity of information available on the Internet that can help people become well-informed voters.
The Internet is a wonderful thing. I consider the Internet to be one of the greatest inventions in human history, something that has changed every aspect of our lives, including elections.
It has made it so much easier for voters to be fully informed about who the candidates are and where they stand on different issues.
But the Internet is also the world’s largest rumor mill and there can be a lot of misinformation out there as well.
Have you ever forwarded an e-mail message a friend sent you, only to find out later that it contains inaccurate information?
I have done that — I unintentionally participated in the spreading of misinformation through forwarding interesting messages or chain letters.
Most times it is harmless. Occasionally, it can be a little embarrassing.
A friend of mine has the habit of checking forwarded messages at Snopes.com [www.snopes.com], a definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.
I learned from her that forwarded messages or chain letters often contain misinformation. So, be careful what you read.
While you can find information on virtually anything on the Internet, there is no guarantee that the information is accurate. Therefore it is also important to look for information that is published by a legitimate source to ensure that the information is authentic and credible.
As responsible citizens, we have the obligation to become informed before we vote.
We cannot base our decision on rumors, misinformation, or on candidates’ TV commercials.
Now we are facing an overload of candidate information.
How can we sift through the massive amounts of information and find the credible sources and sites to make the research process easier?
I hope the following sites will be helpful in your research on the candidates.
• To get information straight from the major candidates and their parties, you can start with their official websites.
Barack Obama:
www.barackobama.com
John McCain:
www.johnmccain.com
The Democratic Party:
www.democrats.org
The Republican Party:
www.gop.org
• Project Vote Smart (www.votesmart.org) provides comprehensive information about candidates, from biographical information, voting records, issue positions, public statements to campaign financing.
Politicians are good public speakers. They will say things to get elected. But what they say may not match what they have done in the past.
Project Vote Smart provides access to congressional and state voting records. You can pull up the voting records of the candidates and find out what and how they voted on key issues in the past.
• At the state level, you can also go to the Legislative Reference Library website (www.leg.state.mn.us/lrl/issues/ratings.asp) to find Minnesota legislator voting records and ratings and to see how current legislators voted in the past.
• Brookings Institution (www.brookings.edu/projects/opportunity08/Candidate-Views.aspx) offers a series of charts outlining the candidates' positions on the most critical topics facing America's next President.
• Federal Election Commission (www.fec.gov) lists campaign finance reports and data that have candidates’ statements of income and information about campaign contributors.
• In Minnesota, all state candidates must file with the Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board (www. cfboard.state.mn.us) regarding campaign contributions.
• On Minnesota Public Radio’s “Select a Candidate” Internet site (http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/select_a_candidate), you can learn which candidates are most closely aligned with your views by answering a series of questions about major issues.
• On the official U.S. Congress website (www. congress.org/election/home/), you can easily find your federal, state, and local officials by entering your ZIP code.
The site provides comprehensive information about elections and provides key candidate positions. It also has legislative voting history.
• On the Issues (www.ontheissues.org) ranks candidates on a variety of issues.
• OpenSecrets.org (www.OpenSecrets.org) from the Center for Responsive Politics is the nonpartisan guide to money’s influence on U.S. elections and public policy. It has fundraising profiles for candidates and congressional members.
• Politifact.com (http:// politifact.com) analyzes candidates' speeches, TV ads and interviews to determine whether their claims are accurate.
• Spinsanity (www.spinsanity.org) is a nonpartisan watchdog dedicated to unspinning misleading claims from politicians, pundits and the press.
The bottom line is, do not believe everything you read or hear in the media. Do some research and become a well-informed voter.
Then you will have the confidence that you cast you vote in a responsible and informed way.
The 2008 presidential election is just one month away. Are you ready for it?
I know some people are not. In fact, I am one of them.
When my kids recently asked me for whom I am going to vote for president, I had to say, “I am not really sure.”
The truth is, I have not done much research and reading about the candidates.
Lack of time, lack of political knowledge or lack of interest in politics can all be my excuses, but I know one excuse I cannot use is lack of information.
There is a huge quantity of information available on the Internet that can help people become well-informed voters.
The Internet is a wonderful thing. I consider the Internet to be one of the greatest inventions in human history, something that has changed every aspect of our lives, including elections.
It has made it so much easier for voters to be fully informed about who the candidates are and where they stand on different issues.
But the Internet is also the world’s largest rumor mill and there can be a lot of misinformation out there as well.
Have you ever forwarded an e-mail message a friend sent you, only to find out later that it contains inaccurate information?
I have done that — I unintentionally participated in the spreading of misinformation through forwarding interesting messages or chain letters.
Most times it is harmless. Occasionally, it can be a little embarrassing.
A friend of mine has the habit of checking forwarded messages at Snopes.com [www.snopes.com], a definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.
I learned from her that forwarded messages or chain letters often contain misinformation. So, be careful what you read.
While you can find information on virtually anything on the Internet, there is no guarantee that the information is accurate. Therefore it is also important to look for information that is published by a legitimate source to ensure that the information is authentic and credible.
As responsible citizens, we have the obligation to become informed before we vote.
We cannot base our decision on rumors, misinformation, or on candidates’ TV commercials.
Now we are facing an overload of candidate information.
How can we sift through the massive amounts of information and find the credible sources and sites to make the research process easier?
I hope the following sites will be helpful in your research on the candidates.
• To get information straight from the major candidates and their parties, you can start with their official websites.
Barack Obama:
www.barackobama.com
John McCain:
www.johnmccain.com
The Democratic Party:
www.democrats.org
The Republican Party:
www.gop.org
• Project Vote Smart (www.votesmart.org) provides comprehensive information about candidates, from biographical information, voting records, issue positions, public statements to campaign financing.
Politicians are good public speakers. They will say things to get elected. But what they say may not match what they have done in the past.
Project Vote Smart provides access to congressional and state voting records. You can pull up the voting records of the candidates and find out what and how they voted on key issues in the past.
• At the state level, you can also go to the Legislative Reference Library website (www.leg.state.mn.us/lrl/issues/ratings.asp) to find Minnesota legislator voting records and ratings and to see how current legislators voted in the past.
• Brookings Institution (www.brookings.edu/projects/opportunity08/Candidate-Views.aspx) offers a series of charts outlining the candidates' positions on the most critical topics facing America's next President.
• Federal Election Commission (www.fec.gov) lists campaign finance reports and data that have candidates’ statements of income and information about campaign contributors.
• In Minnesota, all state candidates must file with the Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board (www. cfboard.state.mn.us) regarding campaign contributions.
• On Minnesota Public Radio’s “Select a Candidate” Internet site (http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/select_a_candidate), you can learn which candidates are most closely aligned with your views by answering a series of questions about major issues.
• On the official U.S. Congress website (www. congress.org/election/home/), you can easily find your federal, state, and local officials by entering your ZIP code.
The site provides comprehensive information about elections and provides key candidate positions. It also has legislative voting history.
• On the Issues (www.ontheissues.org) ranks candidates on a variety of issues.
• OpenSecrets.org (www.OpenSecrets.org) from the Center for Responsive Politics is the nonpartisan guide to money’s influence on U.S. elections and public policy. It has fundraising profiles for candidates and congressional members.
• Politifact.com (http:// politifact.com) analyzes candidates' speeches, TV ads and interviews to determine whether their claims are accurate.
• Spinsanity (www.spinsanity.org) is a nonpartisan watchdog dedicated to unspinning misleading claims from politicians, pundits and the press.
The bottom line is, do not believe everything you read or hear in the media. Do some research and become a well-informed voter.
Then you will have the confidence that you cast you vote in a responsible and informed way.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Open your heart, Part 2
Woodbury Bulletin - 09/24/2008
[Editor’s note: This is the second half of a two-part column.]
This is a continuation of my last column which ended with these words: “If you don’t express yourself, you depress yourself. And to heal your heart, you have to open your heart.”
“To heal your heart, you have to open your heart” is a phrase I read in a book on meditation, This is a simple yet profound truth.
Nobody is born with a heart that is closed. All of us were born with a completely open heart. Newborn babies and young children have open hearts that radiate love and innocence.
An open heart is like sunlight. It radiates love and warmth that nourishes everyone it touches. But like the sun, the heart is often closed in or obscured by clouds.
As we grow up, the bumps and bruises in life gradually train us to protect our tender and vulnerable emotions with a layer of toughness and defensiveness. Over time, this protective layer or clouds gets thicker and it gradually encloses the heart.
What are the clouds that can close our heart and keep it closed? They include fear, anger, resentment, disappointment, judgment, doubt, sadness, sorrow, grief, separation, helplessness, hopelessness, etc.
Many people experience painful and desperate situations in life. We see no way out, no hope and no future. We keep ourselves closed, isolated and chained.
When we are too overwhelmed by these negative emotions, we become depressed.
Discovering a way to express yourself and release these negative feelings is the first step in healing your broken heart.
To heal your heart, you have to work on you heart, not just on your body or your mind.
It’s not enough to work on the mind by changing your thinking, or work on your body by taking some drugs.
True healing of a broken heart can only happen by working directly at the heart level.
Here are some suggestions I offered my friend suffering depression, which I mentioned in my last column.
• Open up
Instead of thinking you have problems you can’t talk about and share with others, find someone to talk to, either a trusted friend or a professional counselor.
Through talking with someone, you can release a lot of negative emotions that have built up inside.
I know when we share our struggles and problems, we will not be laughed at. Quite in opposite, we will not only help ourselves, but also strengthen others in their journey of life.
When we share our struggles and problems, we help others to put their problems in proper perspectives. People can also pray for each other which provides comfort and encouragement.
• Write down
If you really don’t have anyone to talk to, another way to express and release yourself is journaling to let your depressing and negative thoughts out of your mind and body.
Once you write down those negative thoughts and feelings that have occupied your mind and closed your heart, you will feel lighter and better.
• Look in
A friend can give you a shoulder to cry on, a place to pour your heart out and some comfort, but a friend can not give you everlasting peace and joy. This is something only God can do.
Search for and find God in your own way, through reading, through church, through meditation.
In our modern society, most of us are living a more outward, materialist- and ego-centered life. We really need to live a more inward, heart- and spirit-centered life.
Why do we care so much about what we wear and how we look outside than what we feel deep inside? We are not what is on our skin, but we are what is in our heart.
• Get out
Get out and do something that will take your focus away from yourself and your problems.
Meet with friends. Go to church. Help at non-profit organizations. Do some volunteer work to benefit people who are less privileged than you are.
Learn something new. Pursuit a hobby. Simply get out and do something. Just don't stay home and be isolated. It will only make your depression and health conditions worse.
• Find support
Whatever your problem is, whether it is alcohol, drug, or porno addiction, cancer or other diseases, marriage or relationship issues with your spouse, parents or kids, you can probably find self help support groups out there.
In a support group, members help each other through common problems and shared experiences.
Support groups can provide social networks, relevant information, and venues where members can share personal experiences, listen to others’ experiences, and get sympathetic understanding, validation and encouragement.
• Get help
We have to understand that all human beings are imperfect and have problems in life. We need help.
It is not a weakness to say I need help. I can’t do it on my own. We have to take away our ego and pride and seek help with a humble heart.
If your condition doesn’t improve through self-help, then it’s time to get professional help. Find people who are knowledgeable in what they are doing.
• Be creative
Expressing ourselves doesn’t have to be verbal or in writing. Some people can express themselves better through singing, dancing, painting, crafting, and other art forms.
I think the important thing in opening and healing your heart is to express yourselves in whatever forms that can best suit your personality and situations. The key is not how, but just do it, in your own way that is best for you.
The good news is my friend is doing much better now.
I would like to think that the time I spent on the phone with her and the few advices I gave her was helpful in some way.
[Editor’s note: This is the second half of a two-part column.]
This is a continuation of my last column which ended with these words: “If you don’t express yourself, you depress yourself. And to heal your heart, you have to open your heart.”
“To heal your heart, you have to open your heart” is a phrase I read in a book on meditation, This is a simple yet profound truth.
Nobody is born with a heart that is closed. All of us were born with a completely open heart. Newborn babies and young children have open hearts that radiate love and innocence.
An open heart is like sunlight. It radiates love and warmth that nourishes everyone it touches. But like the sun, the heart is often closed in or obscured by clouds.
As we grow up, the bumps and bruises in life gradually train us to protect our tender and vulnerable emotions with a layer of toughness and defensiveness. Over time, this protective layer or clouds gets thicker and it gradually encloses the heart.
What are the clouds that can close our heart and keep it closed? They include fear, anger, resentment, disappointment, judgment, doubt, sadness, sorrow, grief, separation, helplessness, hopelessness, etc.
Many people experience painful and desperate situations in life. We see no way out, no hope and no future. We keep ourselves closed, isolated and chained.
When we are too overwhelmed by these negative emotions, we become depressed.
Discovering a way to express yourself and release these negative feelings is the first step in healing your broken heart.
To heal your heart, you have to work on you heart, not just on your body or your mind.
It’s not enough to work on the mind by changing your thinking, or work on your body by taking some drugs.
True healing of a broken heart can only happen by working directly at the heart level.
Here are some suggestions I offered my friend suffering depression, which I mentioned in my last column.
• Open up
Instead of thinking you have problems you can’t talk about and share with others, find someone to talk to, either a trusted friend or a professional counselor.
Through talking with someone, you can release a lot of negative emotions that have built up inside.
I know when we share our struggles and problems, we will not be laughed at. Quite in opposite, we will not only help ourselves, but also strengthen others in their journey of life.
When we share our struggles and problems, we help others to put their problems in proper perspectives. People can also pray for each other which provides comfort and encouragement.
• Write down
If you really don’t have anyone to talk to, another way to express and release yourself is journaling to let your depressing and negative thoughts out of your mind and body.
Once you write down those negative thoughts and feelings that have occupied your mind and closed your heart, you will feel lighter and better.
• Look in
A friend can give you a shoulder to cry on, a place to pour your heart out and some comfort, but a friend can not give you everlasting peace and joy. This is something only God can do.
Search for and find God in your own way, through reading, through church, through meditation.
In our modern society, most of us are living a more outward, materialist- and ego-centered life. We really need to live a more inward, heart- and spirit-centered life.
Why do we care so much about what we wear and how we look outside than what we feel deep inside? We are not what is on our skin, but we are what is in our heart.
• Get out
Get out and do something that will take your focus away from yourself and your problems.
Meet with friends. Go to church. Help at non-profit organizations. Do some volunteer work to benefit people who are less privileged than you are.
Learn something new. Pursuit a hobby. Simply get out and do something. Just don't stay home and be isolated. It will only make your depression and health conditions worse.
• Find support
Whatever your problem is, whether it is alcohol, drug, or porno addiction, cancer or other diseases, marriage or relationship issues with your spouse, parents or kids, you can probably find self help support groups out there.
In a support group, members help each other through common problems and shared experiences.
Support groups can provide social networks, relevant information, and venues where members can share personal experiences, listen to others’ experiences, and get sympathetic understanding, validation and encouragement.
• Get help
We have to understand that all human beings are imperfect and have problems in life. We need help.
It is not a weakness to say I need help. I can’t do it on my own. We have to take away our ego and pride and seek help with a humble heart.
If your condition doesn’t improve through self-help, then it’s time to get professional help. Find people who are knowledgeable in what they are doing.
• Be creative
Expressing ourselves doesn’t have to be verbal or in writing. Some people can express themselves better through singing, dancing, painting, crafting, and other art forms.
I think the important thing in opening and healing your heart is to express yourselves in whatever forms that can best suit your personality and situations. The key is not how, but just do it, in your own way that is best for you.
The good news is my friend is doing much better now.
I would like to think that the time I spent on the phone with her and the few advices I gave her was helpful in some way.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Open your heart, Part 1
Woodbury Bulletin - 09/17/2008
[Editor’s note: This is the first half of a two-part column.]
Recently, I was on the phone with a friend whom I had not seen for more than 10 years.
After listening to her talk for a few minutes, I realized that she was dealing with depression.
She said she didn’t want to get up, go out of the house and talk to people. Her heart was broken. She felt that everyone’s life was better than hers. And she did not want to talk to others about her problems.
I am not a doctor or psychologist, but I know that these are the symptoms of depression. Approximately 20 million Americans suffer with depression. Nearly twice as many women as men are affected by depression.
When I pointed that out to her, she admitted that she did have depression and it was causing her physical problems as well.
Two things my friend said struck me. I quickly realized that she was wrong in her thinking and behavior. And I was not afraid to speak the truth to her.
In some way, we all make the same assumptions and mistakes.
First of all, we tend to think that we have worse problems than anyone else and everyone else is having a better life. We are all deceived in that thinking, the grass is greener on the other side.
I read a book titled “Everyone is Normal Till You Get to Know Them.” The title really says it all.
We think other people are better off with their lives, with their relationships, with their marriages, with their careers, with their finances, etc.
The fact and truth is we just don't know them well enough to think otherwise.
Whenever I have a heart-to-heart conversation with other people and get to know them on a deeper level, it always reminds me how deceitful the world is.
Everyone experiences so much pain and problems in life. Many are crying inside, from the deep pain and suffering. The pain and suffering are often beyond what our eyes can see and our mind can understand.
As human beings, we can easily get stuck in our thinking and problems.
Our real problems may be small in the real world of problems, but the more we think about them, the bigger they become.
We keep thinking about the same problems over and over, in the process the problems become bigger and we become more miserable.
Then physical and mental diseases will follow inevitably.
We are what we think. If we think we are miserable, then we are miserable.
If we think we are OK and happy, then we are OK and happy.
The second problem is we have been taught “Don’t air your dirty laundry in public.”
We are not supposed to embarrass ourselves and our families by revealing our problems to anyone.
But the fact is when we have anger, resentment and problems that we bottle up inside ourselves and don't talk with anyone, sooner or later, it will cause mental and physical problems or disease, i.e., disharmony of body, mind and spirit.
Medical science has proven that emotional problems cause physical illness.
When we experience problems in life, we shouldn’t feel so shamed and embarrassed that we don’t talk to others and seek help.
Who has no problems? Everyone has problems.
Everyone is not “normal” in some way and every family is dysfunctional in some way.
I like what someone said, “To heal your heart, you have to open your heart.”
If you have a physically sick heart, you probably have to do an open-heart surgery. If you have an emotionally- or psychologically-sick heart, the same solution applies.
You have to open your heart in order to find healing and relief. You have to open your heart to heal your heart. It’s that simple.
If you have a troubled or broken heart, if you feel pain inside, whether it’s anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, sorrow, fear, anxiety or depression, you can’t close your heart and expect the pain to go away.
It will do you more harm. The first step in the healing process is to open your heart.
If you are depressed, you need to find ways to express yourself, not further depress and suppress yourself by closing your heart and isolating yourself.
Personally, I don’t believe in using drugs as the first step to heal a broken heart and depression. All drugs have side-effects.
In my next column, I will talk about opening your heart and expressing yourself to heal your heart and depression in a more natural and healthy way.
Meanwhile, please remember, if you don’t express yourself, you depress yourself.
And to heal your heart, you have to open your heart.
[Editor’s note: This is the first half of a two-part column.]
Recently, I was on the phone with a friend whom I had not seen for more than 10 years.
After listening to her talk for a few minutes, I realized that she was dealing with depression.
She said she didn’t want to get up, go out of the house and talk to people. Her heart was broken. She felt that everyone’s life was better than hers. And she did not want to talk to others about her problems.
I am not a doctor or psychologist, but I know that these are the symptoms of depression. Approximately 20 million Americans suffer with depression. Nearly twice as many women as men are affected by depression.
When I pointed that out to her, she admitted that she did have depression and it was causing her physical problems as well.
Two things my friend said struck me. I quickly realized that she was wrong in her thinking and behavior. And I was not afraid to speak the truth to her.
In some way, we all make the same assumptions and mistakes.
First of all, we tend to think that we have worse problems than anyone else and everyone else is having a better life. We are all deceived in that thinking, the grass is greener on the other side.
I read a book titled “Everyone is Normal Till You Get to Know Them.” The title really says it all.
We think other people are better off with their lives, with their relationships, with their marriages, with their careers, with their finances, etc.
The fact and truth is we just don't know them well enough to think otherwise.
Whenever I have a heart-to-heart conversation with other people and get to know them on a deeper level, it always reminds me how deceitful the world is.
Everyone experiences so much pain and problems in life. Many are crying inside, from the deep pain and suffering. The pain and suffering are often beyond what our eyes can see and our mind can understand.
As human beings, we can easily get stuck in our thinking and problems.
Our real problems may be small in the real world of problems, but the more we think about them, the bigger they become.
We keep thinking about the same problems over and over, in the process the problems become bigger and we become more miserable.
Then physical and mental diseases will follow inevitably.
We are what we think. If we think we are miserable, then we are miserable.
If we think we are OK and happy, then we are OK and happy.
The second problem is we have been taught “Don’t air your dirty laundry in public.”
We are not supposed to embarrass ourselves and our families by revealing our problems to anyone.
But the fact is when we have anger, resentment and problems that we bottle up inside ourselves and don't talk with anyone, sooner or later, it will cause mental and physical problems or disease, i.e., disharmony of body, mind and spirit.
Medical science has proven that emotional problems cause physical illness.
When we experience problems in life, we shouldn’t feel so shamed and embarrassed that we don’t talk to others and seek help.
Who has no problems? Everyone has problems.
Everyone is not “normal” in some way and every family is dysfunctional in some way.
I like what someone said, “To heal your heart, you have to open your heart.”
If you have a physically sick heart, you probably have to do an open-heart surgery. If you have an emotionally- or psychologically-sick heart, the same solution applies.
You have to open your heart in order to find healing and relief. You have to open your heart to heal your heart. It’s that simple.
If you have a troubled or broken heart, if you feel pain inside, whether it’s anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, sorrow, fear, anxiety or depression, you can’t close your heart and expect the pain to go away.
It will do you more harm. The first step in the healing process is to open your heart.
If you are depressed, you need to find ways to express yourself, not further depress and suppress yourself by closing your heart and isolating yourself.
Personally, I don’t believe in using drugs as the first step to heal a broken heart and depression. All drugs have side-effects.
In my next column, I will talk about opening your heart and expressing yourself to heal your heart and depression in a more natural and healthy way.
Meanwhile, please remember, if you don’t express yourself, you depress yourself.
And to heal your heart, you have to open your heart.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Boredom: causes and cures
Woodbury Bulletin - 09/10/2008
“I am bored!”
I think most parents with school-age children have heard these three words many times in the last three months over summer break.
Boredom is not a word in my vocabulary. I rarely feel bored. The only time I might feel bored, or to use a more appropriate phrase, “out of place,” is when I am among people who talk about something I am not interested in at all.
That’s why whenever I hear my 10-year-old son Andy saying: “I am bored,” I don’t have any sympathy for him. For me, there are always enough things to do to not feel bored.
On Labor Day afternoon, I was cutting Andy’s hair to make him a little more groomed for the new school year. I had barely started, it was only a couple of minutes into the process, when I heard him complaining: “I am bored. Can we be done now?”
I was irritated and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
Certainly, I knew there is nothing wrong with my son. He has no ADHD or any other health or mental problems.
Andy is just a normal, active boy with lots of energy. He likes to run around, bike and play with other kids or toy guns.
But he can also be quiet for a long time when he has an interesting book to read or when he plays with Legos.
I think the widespread boredom phenomenon in our society is the result of our entertainment and consumer culture.
Boredom is usually caused by a lack of variety. When our need for changes of stimulation is not met, when there is too much sameness, we feel bored.
However, that’s not the cause of boredom in our society today. Quite the opposite, the main causes are affluence, over-stimulation, and excessive and constant entertainment.
• Too much affluence and convenience
When our lives are too good too easy, when we have too much too soon, when we “had it all” or “seen it all,” when everything is too convenient to obtain and little effort is required to do anything, we lack motivation and become bored.
• Too much TV and screen time
Research suggests that children under 2 years old should not watch TV. But in reality, many babies spend hours in front of the tube. We have a whole generation growing up in front of TV and with video games.
The visual over-stimulation have caused short attention span and ADHD in many children.
• Too much stimulation and entertainment
We are bored, not because we don't have enough stimulation and entertain, but because we have too much stimulation and entertainment.
Our consumer culture has trained us to always move onto the next target. We are always on the go for the next bigger, better and nicer thing,
The entertainment industry not only targets adults, but also children. We don’t need to go to Las Vegas to gamble and play games.
Kids can have birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese. All they do is playing games.
When we were at Wisconsin Dells, a family friendly vacation destination, I saw kids playing games.
They need less than a minute to play a game on a machine. They constantly go from one machine to another.
I was struck by how hyper kids are when they play games in these entertainment places.
When we rely on external mean, such as popular entertainments such as TV, gambling, games to entertain us, when we are accustomed to the over stimulation, we can easily become bored when we have nothing to do or nothing to entertain us, because we don’t know how to entertain ourselves through our own initiation and creativity.
• Too little purpose and passion
We have too much stuff in our house, but not enough purpose and passion in our life. When life becomes meaningless, when “whatever” becomes our answer to all questions, boredom sets in.
Boredom is the “disease of our time.” It is the “deadness of soul."
Boredom leads to all kinds of addiction, increased aggression, and risk taking.
In his book “Still Bored in a Culture of Entertainment: Rediscovering Passion and Wonder,” author Richard Winter offers several ideas to tackle boredom.
The include: remember the big picture, delight in the simple and ordinary, cultivate wonder, develop strong interests, actively engage instead of passively expecting others to initiate, turn to God who can transform lives and provide a passion for living.
I agree, the ultimate way to avoid boredom is to live a meaningful, purposeful and passionate life, whatever that meaning, purpose and passion is for you.
“I am bored!”
I think most parents with school-age children have heard these three words many times in the last three months over summer break.
Boredom is not a word in my vocabulary. I rarely feel bored. The only time I might feel bored, or to use a more appropriate phrase, “out of place,” is when I am among people who talk about something I am not interested in at all.
That’s why whenever I hear my 10-year-old son Andy saying: “I am bored,” I don’t have any sympathy for him. For me, there are always enough things to do to not feel bored.
On Labor Day afternoon, I was cutting Andy’s hair to make him a little more groomed for the new school year. I had barely started, it was only a couple of minutes into the process, when I heard him complaining: “I am bored. Can we be done now?”
I was irritated and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
Certainly, I knew there is nothing wrong with my son. He has no ADHD or any other health or mental problems.
Andy is just a normal, active boy with lots of energy. He likes to run around, bike and play with other kids or toy guns.
But he can also be quiet for a long time when he has an interesting book to read or when he plays with Legos.
I think the widespread boredom phenomenon in our society is the result of our entertainment and consumer culture.
Boredom is usually caused by a lack of variety. When our need for changes of stimulation is not met, when there is too much sameness, we feel bored.
However, that’s not the cause of boredom in our society today. Quite the opposite, the main causes are affluence, over-stimulation, and excessive and constant entertainment.
• Too much affluence and convenience
When our lives are too good too easy, when we have too much too soon, when we “had it all” or “seen it all,” when everything is too convenient to obtain and little effort is required to do anything, we lack motivation and become bored.
• Too much TV and screen time
Research suggests that children under 2 years old should not watch TV. But in reality, many babies spend hours in front of the tube. We have a whole generation growing up in front of TV and with video games.
The visual over-stimulation have caused short attention span and ADHD in many children.
• Too much stimulation and entertainment
We are bored, not because we don't have enough stimulation and entertain, but because we have too much stimulation and entertainment.
Our consumer culture has trained us to always move onto the next target. We are always on the go for the next bigger, better and nicer thing,
The entertainment industry not only targets adults, but also children. We don’t need to go to Las Vegas to gamble and play games.
Kids can have birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese. All they do is playing games.
When we were at Wisconsin Dells, a family friendly vacation destination, I saw kids playing games.
They need less than a minute to play a game on a machine. They constantly go from one machine to another.
I was struck by how hyper kids are when they play games in these entertainment places.
When we rely on external mean, such as popular entertainments such as TV, gambling, games to entertain us, when we are accustomed to the over stimulation, we can easily become bored when we have nothing to do or nothing to entertain us, because we don’t know how to entertain ourselves through our own initiation and creativity.
• Too little purpose and passion
We have too much stuff in our house, but not enough purpose and passion in our life. When life becomes meaningless, when “whatever” becomes our answer to all questions, boredom sets in.
Boredom is the “disease of our time.” It is the “deadness of soul."
Boredom leads to all kinds of addiction, increased aggression, and risk taking.
In his book “Still Bored in a Culture of Entertainment: Rediscovering Passion and Wonder,” author Richard Winter offers several ideas to tackle boredom.
The include: remember the big picture, delight in the simple and ordinary, cultivate wonder, develop strong interests, actively engage instead of passively expecting others to initiate, turn to God who can transform lives and provide a passion for living.
I agree, the ultimate way to avoid boredom is to live a meaningful, purposeful and passionate life, whatever that meaning, purpose and passion is for you.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
The hurdles to being healthy
Woodbury Bulletin - 09/03/2008
I love summer in Minnesota. One of the reasons for that is I can work in my garden and grow my own vegetables.
This year, I have garlic chives, green onions, lettuces, Swiss chards, cucumbers, peppers, beans, tomatoes and squashes.
For almost three months in summer, I can eat fresh organic vegetables from my garden. I have been eating a green salad every day for lunch for the last two months.
It feels good to eat organic home-grown foods. Fresh organic food provides the best nutrition for the body. Consuming home-grown food is also good for the pocket and for the environment.
As summer comes to an end, I am again reminded of the challenges and difficulties to eating and staying healthy that we face here in the United States, especially in Minnesota.
• Short growing season and cold weather
When the growing season is over in Minnesota, there will be no more fresh home- grown food. We have to eat food that is grown in another region or country and is transported hundreds or thousands of miles to us.
Their quality and their nutritional value are certainly not as good as those grown in my own backyard.
During winter time, not only do we eat less fresh food and more junk food, we are also less active. Most times the cold weather keeps us indoors. It’s so easy to add a few extra pounds in winter.
• Unhealthy diets and poor eating habits
When I compare eastern and western diets, and the times when I grew up with the times now when my kids are growing up, I see more challenges.
Growing up in China in the 1960s and 70s, my family was poor, like most people at that time. Since there were no refrigerators, my mother had to get up around 5 a.m. every day to buy groceries at the farmer’s market.
There were times she even got up in the middle of the night to wait in long line in order to buy food in scarcity. Meat, eggs, oils, sugar, rice, etc. were rationed.
Both of my parents worked full time. But they still cooked three meals a day. We ate mostly vegetables.
We never went out to eat. We didn’t eat canned food. Buying fresh vegetables and cooking from scratch was our way of every day living.
In our traditional Chinese diet, we didn’t have desserts like in the western diet.
We didn’t eat cake or ice cream. We had fruit as dessert.
Only during special holidays like the Chinese New Year, I got to eat candies or other treats.
Thanks to my healthy traditional Chinese diet, I never developed any sweet tooth. To this day, I have no desire for candies, chocolate, ice cream, cake, or other sweets. This has really benefited my teeth and overall health.
I have no caveats. I remember a dentist once commented: “I wish everyone had such good teeth as you do.”
But things are different now.
Even though I don’t buy and eat much junk food, I still eat more than I used to.
When I go to a party, when someone in the office brings a treat, there are always sweets. It’s hard not to try some.
It’s worse for my kids.
When my son started school, the first year he brought lunch from home. Starting with first grade, he refused to bring lunch from home and wanted to eat school lunch like most of other kids.
One day not long after he started school lunch, my son asked me after dinner: “Mom, what’s for dessert?” I realized he was westernized in his diet. I said, “We have fruit. You can eat as much as you want.” But I knew that was not what he meant with dessert.
Our school lunch is not very healthy for our kids. It is basically fast and convenient food. I don’t blame this all on school though. It’s a problem in our society.
The schools offer healthy choices. The problem is kids prefer junk food. My kids would much rather eat pizza than home cooked healthy meals.
I don’t usually buy candies, but we always have more candies than I like.
My kids grow up with candies and love them. They just got a bag of candies from Woodbury Days. Soon the Halloween candies will arrive, then holiday chocolates, Valentine’s candies, and Easter chocolates.
It’s hard not to develop some sweet teeth in this environment. No wonder my kids already have several cavities at such young age.
• Lack of personal responsibility and self-control
In addition to dealing with these challenges and difficulties we face in our society, we also have to deal with personal issues.
Sadly, I found many people lack personal responsibility and self-control.
My mother has diabetes, she is very careful with eating sweets. She doesn’t eat much except a little fruit. But I see plenty of people with diabetes still eat candies and cakes, drink sodas more than they should.
With my two kids, both born in the U.S., sometimes I feel like fighting a hard and losing battle. They grow up in this environment. They are not going to eat as healthy as I like them to.
I only hope I can be a good role model for them in terms of eating and living healthy, and hope they will one day make their own healthy choices instead of me telling and forcing them to eat vegetables every day.
I love summer in Minnesota. One of the reasons for that is I can work in my garden and grow my own vegetables.
This year, I have garlic chives, green onions, lettuces, Swiss chards, cucumbers, peppers, beans, tomatoes and squashes.
For almost three months in summer, I can eat fresh organic vegetables from my garden. I have been eating a green salad every day for lunch for the last two months.
It feels good to eat organic home-grown foods. Fresh organic food provides the best nutrition for the body. Consuming home-grown food is also good for the pocket and for the environment.
As summer comes to an end, I am again reminded of the challenges and difficulties to eating and staying healthy that we face here in the United States, especially in Minnesota.
• Short growing season and cold weather
When the growing season is over in Minnesota, there will be no more fresh home- grown food. We have to eat food that is grown in another region or country and is transported hundreds or thousands of miles to us.
Their quality and their nutritional value are certainly not as good as those grown in my own backyard.
During winter time, not only do we eat less fresh food and more junk food, we are also less active. Most times the cold weather keeps us indoors. It’s so easy to add a few extra pounds in winter.
• Unhealthy diets and poor eating habits
When I compare eastern and western diets, and the times when I grew up with the times now when my kids are growing up, I see more challenges.
Growing up in China in the 1960s and 70s, my family was poor, like most people at that time. Since there were no refrigerators, my mother had to get up around 5 a.m. every day to buy groceries at the farmer’s market.
There were times she even got up in the middle of the night to wait in long line in order to buy food in scarcity. Meat, eggs, oils, sugar, rice, etc. were rationed.
Both of my parents worked full time. But they still cooked three meals a day. We ate mostly vegetables.
We never went out to eat. We didn’t eat canned food. Buying fresh vegetables and cooking from scratch was our way of every day living.
In our traditional Chinese diet, we didn’t have desserts like in the western diet.
We didn’t eat cake or ice cream. We had fruit as dessert.
Only during special holidays like the Chinese New Year, I got to eat candies or other treats.
Thanks to my healthy traditional Chinese diet, I never developed any sweet tooth. To this day, I have no desire for candies, chocolate, ice cream, cake, or other sweets. This has really benefited my teeth and overall health.
I have no caveats. I remember a dentist once commented: “I wish everyone had such good teeth as you do.”
But things are different now.
Even though I don’t buy and eat much junk food, I still eat more than I used to.
When I go to a party, when someone in the office brings a treat, there are always sweets. It’s hard not to try some.
It’s worse for my kids.
When my son started school, the first year he brought lunch from home. Starting with first grade, he refused to bring lunch from home and wanted to eat school lunch like most of other kids.
One day not long after he started school lunch, my son asked me after dinner: “Mom, what’s for dessert?” I realized he was westernized in his diet. I said, “We have fruit. You can eat as much as you want.” But I knew that was not what he meant with dessert.
Our school lunch is not very healthy for our kids. It is basically fast and convenient food. I don’t blame this all on school though. It’s a problem in our society.
The schools offer healthy choices. The problem is kids prefer junk food. My kids would much rather eat pizza than home cooked healthy meals.
I don’t usually buy candies, but we always have more candies than I like.
My kids grow up with candies and love them. They just got a bag of candies from Woodbury Days. Soon the Halloween candies will arrive, then holiday chocolates, Valentine’s candies, and Easter chocolates.
It’s hard not to develop some sweet teeth in this environment. No wonder my kids already have several cavities at such young age.
• Lack of personal responsibility and self-control
In addition to dealing with these challenges and difficulties we face in our society, we also have to deal with personal issues.
Sadly, I found many people lack personal responsibility and self-control.
My mother has diabetes, she is very careful with eating sweets. She doesn’t eat much except a little fruit. But I see plenty of people with diabetes still eat candies and cakes, drink sodas more than they should.
With my two kids, both born in the U.S., sometimes I feel like fighting a hard and losing battle. They grow up in this environment. They are not going to eat as healthy as I like them to.
I only hope I can be a good role model for them in terms of eating and living healthy, and hope they will one day make their own healthy choices instead of me telling and forcing them to eat vegetables every day.
Aiming for greatness
Woodbury Bulletin - 08/27/2008
When it comes to raising children, what is your goal?
Like many parents, I don’t have a clearly defined goal in my mind.
Also like most parents, I want the best for my children. I want them to get a good education, have a good job and make a nice living. I want them to be successful and happy in life.
What is success?
In our society, success is often defined as having wealth, power, fame and beauty. Be the first, the best, and have the most.
There is nothing wrong with this goal. But is this enough? Is that all I want my children to be and to have?
I know the answer is “No.” I know there is more to life than being successful and having wealth, power, fame and beauty.
Though I wasn’t very clear what more I wanted for my kids, in 2002, when they were four and two years old, I started taking them to Sunday school after being invited by a church at Woodbury Days.
At least I understood the importance of living a balanced life of mind, body and spirit, and a balanced life of outward success and inward fulfillment.
Recently, I read “Raising Kids for True Greatness” after a friend invited me to a group discussion based on that book by Tim Kimmel. The book helps redefine success in parenting. It also helps clarify what my parenting goal should be.
True greatness, Kimmel writes, is “a passionate love of God that shows itself in an unquenchable love and concern for people. It is based on grace. Its attitudes are humility and gratefulness. Its actions are generosity and a servant attitude."
True greatness is exemplified by love and service for others as opposed to accomplishments for oneself. Successfulness should not be the primary goals we set for our children, we should aim for greatness.
Every child has the potential to make an extraordinary difference in life.
It is the parent’s job to aim for greatness and significance and raise our children who will use their talents, their skills and their lives to make a real difference in the world.
I know in many families, we parents put too much emphasis on our kids’ academic achievements. We focus on their school report cards, their grades, their scores, or their extra curricular activities while neglecting the aspect of building characters.
We like to compare, compete and control.
We feel good when our kids are doing well. We feel like failures when our kids don’t meet our expectations.
When we prepare our kids for success as defined in this world, the focus is on what is in it for me, how can I be the first and the best, and have the most.
This helps create a self-centered attitude in our kids.
People are truly great, attractive and valuable, not because of outward appearance and possessions, but because of inward qualities.
Success as the world sees it is an illusion. It is short-living and does not bring true happiness.
Successful people come and go. But the truly great people touch lives and their impact and legacy last forever.
We all know Mother Teresa. She was not beautiful, wealthy and powerful, and didn’t achieve fame by worldly standards.
Yet she was one of the greatest people who have lived on the earth. The legacy she left is way beyond what success can bring. She touched lives and made a difference in the world.
Mother Teresa had the qualities that identify a truly great life: humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude.
After I read the book, I have a more clearly-defined goal in raising kids.
It should not just be helping my kids achieve success, but, more importantly, aiming them for greatness.
I need to teach them humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude. In addition to providing them with a secure love, I should also help them find their significant purpose in life.
“Raising Kids for True Greatness” not only gives me a better understand of a higher goal in raising kids, it also challenges me to better myself for a simple reason.
Before I can teach my kids the qualities of humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude, I have to learn myself first in order to be a role model for them.
So aiming for greatness is not just a goal for my kids, it is a goal for myself as well.
When it comes to raising children, what is your goal?
Like many parents, I don’t have a clearly defined goal in my mind.
Also like most parents, I want the best for my children. I want them to get a good education, have a good job and make a nice living. I want them to be successful and happy in life.
What is success?
In our society, success is often defined as having wealth, power, fame and beauty. Be the first, the best, and have the most.
There is nothing wrong with this goal. But is this enough? Is that all I want my children to be and to have?
I know the answer is “No.” I know there is more to life than being successful and having wealth, power, fame and beauty.
Though I wasn’t very clear what more I wanted for my kids, in 2002, when they were four and two years old, I started taking them to Sunday school after being invited by a church at Woodbury Days.
At least I understood the importance of living a balanced life of mind, body and spirit, and a balanced life of outward success and inward fulfillment.
Recently, I read “Raising Kids for True Greatness” after a friend invited me to a group discussion based on that book by Tim Kimmel. The book helps redefine success in parenting. It also helps clarify what my parenting goal should be.
True greatness, Kimmel writes, is “a passionate love of God that shows itself in an unquenchable love and concern for people. It is based on grace. Its attitudes are humility and gratefulness. Its actions are generosity and a servant attitude."
True greatness is exemplified by love and service for others as opposed to accomplishments for oneself. Successfulness should not be the primary goals we set for our children, we should aim for greatness.
Every child has the potential to make an extraordinary difference in life.
It is the parent’s job to aim for greatness and significance and raise our children who will use their talents, their skills and their lives to make a real difference in the world.
I know in many families, we parents put too much emphasis on our kids’ academic achievements. We focus on their school report cards, their grades, their scores, or their extra curricular activities while neglecting the aspect of building characters.
We like to compare, compete and control.
We feel good when our kids are doing well. We feel like failures when our kids don’t meet our expectations.
When we prepare our kids for success as defined in this world, the focus is on what is in it for me, how can I be the first and the best, and have the most.
This helps create a self-centered attitude in our kids.
People are truly great, attractive and valuable, not because of outward appearance and possessions, but because of inward qualities.
Success as the world sees it is an illusion. It is short-living and does not bring true happiness.
Successful people come and go. But the truly great people touch lives and their impact and legacy last forever.
We all know Mother Teresa. She was not beautiful, wealthy and powerful, and didn’t achieve fame by worldly standards.
Yet she was one of the greatest people who have lived on the earth. The legacy she left is way beyond what success can bring. She touched lives and made a difference in the world.
Mother Teresa had the qualities that identify a truly great life: humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude.
After I read the book, I have a more clearly-defined goal in raising kids.
It should not just be helping my kids achieve success, but, more importantly, aiming them for greatness.
I need to teach them humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude. In addition to providing them with a secure love, I should also help them find their significant purpose in life.
“Raising Kids for True Greatness” not only gives me a better understand of a higher goal in raising kids, it also challenges me to better myself for a simple reason.
Before I can teach my kids the qualities of humility, gratefulness, generosity, compassion and a servant attitude, I have to learn myself first in order to be a role model for them.
So aiming for greatness is not just a goal for my kids, it is a goal for myself as well.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Society’s biggest problem
Woodbury Bulletin - 08/20/2008
In my July 2 column, I wrote about what I think is right in our society.
To provide a different perspective, in this column I would like to share what I think is society's biggest problem — one we are facing today.
It is disconnection.
It is the disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other and from nature.
It is the disconnection between body, mind and spirit, and the disconnection between our outward success and inward satisfaction.
As human beings, we are wired to connect.
But we are so busy doing things and being entertained that we are losing human and spiritual connections.
We are so preoccupied that we don’t have quiet time to recharge ourselves, to connect with our inner beings, to connect with the high power, to connect with nature.
We are so focused on success and things that we neglect what is really significant and important.
We are so prosperous and arrogant that we think we can do everything and all on our own. We want to be independent rather than interdependent.
Our conventional medicine and current health care (or more appropriately disease care) system focus only on diseases in our body, on medical and surgical interventions to treat illness instead of taking the natural, holistic approach — seeing the body, mind and spirit as interrelated and connected.
In the age of constant digital connectivity and multitasking, we are over-connected technologically, but under-connected and under-communicated relationally.
Technology makes electronic communication so easy, convenient and instant that we prefer e-mail over a phone call and a direct talk. We are losing the face-to-face communication and human connection.
We are more intelligent and advanced, but we do not necessarily have more emotional intelligence to know better how to connect with people, how to deal with people and solve conflicts.
So, in many situations, we simply stop talking and communicating altogether.
We have over-scheduled kids, but under-connected families.
We have so many activities and things to do that we don’t have time to eat family meals together and talk to each other.
We guard our right to privacy and value our individuality so much that we don’t easily share our stories and lives with each other, and we are losing the sense of community.
We might have a hard time choosing an emergency contact for our kids, because we don’t really know the neighbors around us very well and don’t have really good friends who are close.
We might have a hard time finding someone or don’t feel comfortable contacting someone when we face a crisis and need help.
We might have a hard time sharing our real-life stories with our friends.
We might have a hard time sharing our real concerns and problems with our partners, our parents or our children.
Yes, we may have a lot of friends, both near or far away, real or virtual, but how many of our friends do we really know and how many of them really know us?
Yes, we may talk to a lot of friends, but how much of the talk is the heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul talk?
Yes, we may have achieved great worldly success and material possessions, but do we feel fulfilled and satisfied deep in our hearts?
These are questions only each individual can answer honestly for him- or herself.
And I will not be surprised if many people say, “No, I don’t really have such intimate relationships. No, I don’t feel happy and satisfied.”
Human beings are social and relational. Relationships and human connections foster health and wellness in body, mind and spirit, while lack of social support and disconnection leads to loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, despair and illness.
As a result of our disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other, and from nature, we more or less live isolated lives.
No wonder more and more people are suffering from anxiety, depression, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, from physical illness and behavioral problems.
More and more people are paying big bucks to professionals so they can have somebody to talk to and share their problems.
A counselor or a psychologist may be able to help an individual. But I doubt they can help solve this big problem in our society.
I think it’s up to every one of us to try to reconnect what has been disconnected, and to recreate a strong sense of community.
Without connections, we would all get lost in this world.
By the way, I encourage you to go to the Woodbury Days this weekend. This annual event provides us an opportunity to meet and connect with others in the community.
I will be there Saturday, helping at the shared booth of Minnesota JingLun Chinese School and Acupuncture of Woodbury from 9 a.m. to noon, then at the Spirit of Life Bible Church booth from 1 to 3 p.m., and finally at the Woodbury Days Information booth from 3 to 7 p.m.
I hope you will stop by and say hello. I would love to meet all of you personally. Please feel free to share with me your honest comments about this column.
In my July 2 column, I wrote about what I think is right in our society.
To provide a different perspective, in this column I would like to share what I think is society's biggest problem — one we are facing today.
It is disconnection.
It is the disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other and from nature.
It is the disconnection between body, mind and spirit, and the disconnection between our outward success and inward satisfaction.
As human beings, we are wired to connect.
But we are so busy doing things and being entertained that we are losing human and spiritual connections.
We are so preoccupied that we don’t have quiet time to recharge ourselves, to connect with our inner beings, to connect with the high power, to connect with nature.
We are so focused on success and things that we neglect what is really significant and important.
We are so prosperous and arrogant that we think we can do everything and all on our own. We want to be independent rather than interdependent.
Our conventional medicine and current health care (or more appropriately disease care) system focus only on diseases in our body, on medical and surgical interventions to treat illness instead of taking the natural, holistic approach — seeing the body, mind and spirit as interrelated and connected.
In the age of constant digital connectivity and multitasking, we are over-connected technologically, but under-connected and under-communicated relationally.
Technology makes electronic communication so easy, convenient and instant that we prefer e-mail over a phone call and a direct talk. We are losing the face-to-face communication and human connection.
We are more intelligent and advanced, but we do not necessarily have more emotional intelligence to know better how to connect with people, how to deal with people and solve conflicts.
So, in many situations, we simply stop talking and communicating altogether.
We have over-scheduled kids, but under-connected families.
We have so many activities and things to do that we don’t have time to eat family meals together and talk to each other.
We guard our right to privacy and value our individuality so much that we don’t easily share our stories and lives with each other, and we are losing the sense of community.
We might have a hard time choosing an emergency contact for our kids, because we don’t really know the neighbors around us very well and don’t have really good friends who are close.
We might have a hard time finding someone or don’t feel comfortable contacting someone when we face a crisis and need help.
We might have a hard time sharing our real-life stories with our friends.
We might have a hard time sharing our real concerns and problems with our partners, our parents or our children.
Yes, we may have a lot of friends, both near or far away, real or virtual, but how many of our friends do we really know and how many of them really know us?
Yes, we may talk to a lot of friends, but how much of the talk is the heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul talk?
Yes, we may have achieved great worldly success and material possessions, but do we feel fulfilled and satisfied deep in our hearts?
These are questions only each individual can answer honestly for him- or herself.
And I will not be surprised if many people say, “No, I don’t really have such intimate relationships. No, I don’t feel happy and satisfied.”
Human beings are social and relational. Relationships and human connections foster health and wellness in body, mind and spirit, while lack of social support and disconnection leads to loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, despair and illness.
As a result of our disconnection from ourselves, from our spirituality, from each other, and from nature, we more or less live isolated lives.
No wonder more and more people are suffering from anxiety, depression, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, from physical illness and behavioral problems.
More and more people are paying big bucks to professionals so they can have somebody to talk to and share their problems.
A counselor or a psychologist may be able to help an individual. But I doubt they can help solve this big problem in our society.
I think it’s up to every one of us to try to reconnect what has been disconnected, and to recreate a strong sense of community.
Without connections, we would all get lost in this world.
By the way, I encourage you to go to the Woodbury Days this weekend. This annual event provides us an opportunity to meet and connect with others in the community.
I will be there Saturday, helping at the shared booth of Minnesota JingLun Chinese School and Acupuncture of Woodbury from 9 a.m. to noon, then at the Spirit of Life Bible Church booth from 1 to 3 p.m., and finally at the Woodbury Days Information booth from 3 to 7 p.m.
I hope you will stop by and say hello. I would love to meet all of you personally. Please feel free to share with me your honest comments about this column.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ask and you shall receive
Woodbury Bulletin - 08/13/2008
“Ask and you shall receive.”
This is a well-known biblical principle. It is also one of the lessons I have learned in life again and again.
Just last week I was helping someone find an article in a journal. Since itwas a scholarly journal, it is not widely held in libraries. And it was not free on the Internet. It cost over $30 to purchase the article online.
After I did research about the journal and found the information, I could easily pass it on to a co-worker to get the requested article in the traditional way through inter-library loan. However, this process could have taken a couple of weeks.
Instead, I “Googled” one of the author names and found his contact information. I sent him an e-mail asking if he would send me a copy of the article. Within a few hours on the same day, I got the response from him along with the attached article.
I was happy because it saved us time, effort and cost.
What happened was not surprising to me though. I was quite confident that I would get what I asked for. I had similar experiences before. Mostly I get quick and positive responses.
I know authors are willing to share their articles, especially the scholars in academic institutions. They don’t have many followers like best-selling authors do. They are very willing and happy to share their publications.
This incident reinforced my belief in the “Ask and you shall receive” principle. Had I not asked, I would not get what was needed in such short time and without any costs.
I have applied this principal in other areas of my life.
I asked for the opportunity to write this column. I got it without a problem.
I asked experts at the national level for information and advice. They responded with advice or referrals.
I asked for better pay. And I got a raise.
I asked for directions when I got lost. It saved me time.
I asked for items in the grocery store that were not on display to the public. I got them at a better price.
Naturally, I don’t always get what I ask for. But the only way to get what I want or to find out the result is by simply asking.
Oftentimes we don’t receive because we don’t ask. We do so for several reasons.
We don’t ask because we are afraid of rejection.
We are afraid the person we are asking will say no. This is a foolish notion.
By asking, we either get what we want which is better than before, or we get nothing which doesn’t change anything. It can’t get worse, it can only get better. We really have nothing to lose when we ask.
We don’t ask because we are too proud.
We have a big ego. We feel embarrassed and uncomfortable asking for something. We don’t want to look needy, weak, unintelligent or foolish. We want to appear like someone who knows everything, can do everything and rely on nobody.
But that is unrealistic.
We don’t ask because we think we are unworthy of it.
When we have a low self- esteem, we might feel not good or worthy enough to ask and to receive.
The fact is no one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. By asking and seeking help, we can become better and more worthy.
We don’t ask because we are pessimistic and negative.
People with pessimistic and negative attitudes like to say: “Why bother? It’s impossible!”
Anything is possible. We need to have faith and be optimistic when we ask.
Here are a few more thoughts to help increase the chance of success.
We need to be generous and kind to other people when they ask for our help.
“You only receive what you give away.” If we don’t give in the first place, we can’t expect others to give.
When asking, we are making a request, not a demand. We need to do so with a humble heart and a humble attitude.
While we should have confidence in asking and hope for positive results, we should also be prepared for rejection.
We can’t expect success every time. We need to accept rejection graciously. Express gratitude when we receive, and show understanding when we don’t receive.
Listen to that still voice or that gut feeling in ourselves when asking. Follow it instead of ignoring it.
Don’t feel intimidated by people who have more power, status or wealth. Don’t think they are too important or too busy to respond to our request for help. Most people are helpful.
It never hurts to ask. It doesn’t cost anything. There is nothing to lose but possibly something to gain.
We may not get what we ask for, but we will never get what we don’t ask for!
When we ask, we can get more out of life. So much more is ours just for the asking if we dare to ask, dare to dream.
When we stop asking, we stop receiving.
So let’s remember, “Ask and you shall receive” and live this principle in our everyday life.
“Ask and you shall receive.”
This is a well-known biblical principle. It is also one of the lessons I have learned in life again and again.
Just last week I was helping someone find an article in a journal. Since itwas a scholarly journal, it is not widely held in libraries. And it was not free on the Internet. It cost over $30 to purchase the article online.
After I did research about the journal and found the information, I could easily pass it on to a co-worker to get the requested article in the traditional way through inter-library loan. However, this process could have taken a couple of weeks.
Instead, I “Googled” one of the author names and found his contact information. I sent him an e-mail asking if he would send me a copy of the article. Within a few hours on the same day, I got the response from him along with the attached article.
I was happy because it saved us time, effort and cost.
What happened was not surprising to me though. I was quite confident that I would get what I asked for. I had similar experiences before. Mostly I get quick and positive responses.
I know authors are willing to share their articles, especially the scholars in academic institutions. They don’t have many followers like best-selling authors do. They are very willing and happy to share their publications.
This incident reinforced my belief in the “Ask and you shall receive” principle. Had I not asked, I would not get what was needed in such short time and without any costs.
I have applied this principal in other areas of my life.
I asked for the opportunity to write this column. I got it without a problem.
I asked experts at the national level for information and advice. They responded with advice or referrals.
I asked for better pay. And I got a raise.
I asked for directions when I got lost. It saved me time.
I asked for items in the grocery store that were not on display to the public. I got them at a better price.
Naturally, I don’t always get what I ask for. But the only way to get what I want or to find out the result is by simply asking.
Oftentimes we don’t receive because we don’t ask. We do so for several reasons.
We don’t ask because we are afraid of rejection.
We are afraid the person we are asking will say no. This is a foolish notion.
By asking, we either get what we want which is better than before, or we get nothing which doesn’t change anything. It can’t get worse, it can only get better. We really have nothing to lose when we ask.
We don’t ask because we are too proud.
We have a big ego. We feel embarrassed and uncomfortable asking for something. We don’t want to look needy, weak, unintelligent or foolish. We want to appear like someone who knows everything, can do everything and rely on nobody.
But that is unrealistic.
We don’t ask because we think we are unworthy of it.
When we have a low self- esteem, we might feel not good or worthy enough to ask and to receive.
The fact is no one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. By asking and seeking help, we can become better and more worthy.
We don’t ask because we are pessimistic and negative.
People with pessimistic and negative attitudes like to say: “Why bother? It’s impossible!”
Anything is possible. We need to have faith and be optimistic when we ask.
Here are a few more thoughts to help increase the chance of success.
We need to be generous and kind to other people when they ask for our help.
“You only receive what you give away.” If we don’t give in the first place, we can’t expect others to give.
When asking, we are making a request, not a demand. We need to do so with a humble heart and a humble attitude.
While we should have confidence in asking and hope for positive results, we should also be prepared for rejection.
We can’t expect success every time. We need to accept rejection graciously. Express gratitude when we receive, and show understanding when we don’t receive.
Listen to that still voice or that gut feeling in ourselves when asking. Follow it instead of ignoring it.
Don’t feel intimidated by people who have more power, status or wealth. Don’t think they are too important or too busy to respond to our request for help. Most people are helpful.
It never hurts to ask. It doesn’t cost anything. There is nothing to lose but possibly something to gain.
We may not get what we ask for, but we will never get what we don’t ask for!
When we ask, we can get more out of life. So much more is ours just for the asking if we dare to ask, dare to dream.
When we stop asking, we stop receiving.
So let’s remember, “Ask and you shall receive” and live this principle in our everyday life.
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