Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A close call on the road

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/30/2008

I learned driving in my late twenties when I came to the United States. A friend taught me for a few hours.

That’s all the driving education I had, and I learned just enough traffic rules to pass the test.

Learning new things is always easier and comes more natural when you are young. Anytime you miss the windows of opportunity and the optimum learning time, it gets harder.

Because I didn’t learn driving as a teenager like most Americans do, it wasn’t a natural thing for me. Therefore, I have never developed a love for cars or driving.

In addition, I am a little bit “directionally-challenged.” So I don’t like driving at all, especially to unfamiliar places.

Knowing I am not good behind the wheel, however, has made me a very careful driver. I don’t exceed the highway speed limit, usually driving 60 mph or less.

I have never caused any traffic accidents, nor have I received any traffic tickets — just a few parking tickets.

Once, I parked too close to a stop sign. Another time I parked in the wrong direction on the street. Instead of having the curb on the right side of the car, I parked on the left side. But they were just harmless tickets due to my lack of knowledge about traffic rules.

In my 17 years of driving, I have kept a perfect record on my driver’s license. But that almost changed July 16.

On that Wednesday evening at around 8 p.m., after going to swimming lessons, a library visit and stopping at a store on Radio Drive, my kids and I were on the way home. I made a left turn from Radio Drive onto Valley Creek Road.

Just as I was entering the intersection, the light changed from yellow to red. Instead of hitting my brakes really hard, I kept going.

“Mom, there is a police car!” Suddenly, my kids became alert.

As soon as I turned left on Valley Creek Road, a police car that was right at the intersection flashed its light and followed me.

Once I saw the flashing light in my rear mirror, I knew I was in trouble.

I quickly turned to the right shoulder and stopped. I got my wallet out and held it in my hand. I was ready for the policeman to ask for my license.

In my mind I was hoping that once he checked my driver’s license and found a perfect record, and knew that I am not a repeat traffic offender or a criminal, he might have mercy on me and let me go.

The policeman walked to the passenger side. I lowered the window.

Instead of asking to see my driver’s license, he asked me a question: “What was the color of the light when you entered the intersection?”

I was not sure what to say.

Fortunately, my 10-year old son Andy came to my rescue. He responded quickly: “It was turning from yellow to red.”

I thought: “Good job, Andy!”

The policeman explained because I hadn’t quite exited the intersection when he had the green light, it meant I had run the red light.

I was nervous and waiting for the verdict.

“Here is the deal. I am not going to give you a ticket this time, but I want you to remember that you should be more careful when you drive, for your son’s safety and other people’s safety,” he said. “You need to set a good example for your children.”

No ticket? What a relief!

I was not only relieved, but also very grateful. I was thankful for this policeman for not issuing me a ticket when he could legally do so.

After the policeman left, my son said: “Mom, you didn’t get a ticket because of me.”

He was probably right.

I suppose policemen or policewomen might be more lenient when kids are present. Kids see policemen as heroes, the good guys. So it was possible that the policeman was nice and played the good guy for my kids’ sake.

Yes, the policeman didn’t give me a ticket this time. But I realized that just because I haven’t got any traffic tickets doesn’t mean I will never.

Just because I run a red light and didn’t get caught or ticketed doesn’t mean I can do it again and will never get caught.

I was thankful for the policeman for the reminder to think about the safety of my kids and others and to set a good example for my kids.

I know kids model what their parents do.

I always put on seatbelt once I get into a car. My kids have developed this habit of wearing seatbelts since they were little. Now, if Andy sees someone not wearing the seatbelt, he will remind the person.

Yes, I need to be more careful and be a better law-abiding citizen on the road, for the safety of everyone and for setting a good example.

I was also thankful that my kids witnessed the incident and could learn a lesson, too.

Andy already knows some traffic rules. Once when I turned from Commerce Drive to Sam’s auto shop, he said: “Mom, you are not supposed to cross the double yellow line.”

At age 10, he has already learned traffic rules in school.

Andy has now become a more vigorous monitor of my driving. When I drive with him in the car, he reminds me: “Mom, drive slowly and don’t run the red light!”

He is right. I’d better listen to my son and do everything right to prevent another close call.

I don’t want to get caught for any traffic violations, either by a policeman or by my own family policeman sitting right behind me.

And I intend to keep the perfect record on my driver’s license.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dealing with the Feds

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/23/2008

I think it’s safe to say that, of all the federal government agencies, the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) is the most unpopular one. Or to put it in more plain language and to say it more bluntly, IRS is the most feared and hated federal agency.

At the very least nobody likes to hear from IRS.

But this time, it is different.

Starting in May, the IRS began sending economic stimulus payments to more than 130 million households, thanks to the stimulus package passed by Congress and signed into law by President George W. Bush in February 2008. The law seeks to stimulate business investment, boost the U.S. economy and to avert a recession.

Like everyone eligible for the tax rebates, I was actually looking forward to hearing from the IRS and get my family’s share of rebates.

We received two notices at the end of June and beginning of July. But instead of rebates, we found out that the IRS made a change to our 2007 tax return. As a result, we owed the IRS more taxes plus interest.

Even after our economic stimulus payment was credited to our account, we still owed the IRS money.

This was the first time we heard from IRS in the more than 10 years we have been filing tax returns.

The big adjustment made to our account was due to the unmatched social security number.

I checked the social security numbers on the tax return and they all looked fine. I’ve used them and have not had a problem in the last ten years.

So, I called the IRS to find out how to fix the problem.

I waited on the phone for about ten minutes. Then I spoke with a real person. I gave her the social security numbers from the 2007 tax return. She said one of them didn’t match with the name and I needed to send in a copy of the social security card for verification.

I commented that I never had any problems with social security numbers in the past. Her response was “I am not going to argue with you.”

Before I could ask another question, she hung up on me.

I didn’t even realize that until I finished my question and didn’t hear any response. Our conversation was only about one or two minutes long.

I wasn’t trying to argue with her at all. But her tone of voice and her action were very unprofessional and rude to me.

Later, after getting out all the social security cards and double checking my son’s social security number, I noticed that I had two numbers next to each other in reverse order.

I guess I was too self-confident of doing everything right that I didn’t catch the error, even though I checked it.

Admittedly, I made a dumb mistake. But still, I don’t think I deserved to be treated so rudely by the IRS employee.

Had I experienced this kind of customer service from a private company, I probably would have contacted the company to complain and voice my dissatisfaction.

But what can you do with the IRS? It’s better to stay away from it. I am not going to waste my time and energy to deal with its bureaucracy.

Luckily, when I called the IRS back the next day, I talked to a nice person who said “Please” and “Thank you” a few times. After my explaination, she adjusted my return.

Before I hung up the phone, I said to her: “Thank you for being so nice. I wish everyone at the IRS is so nice like you.”

I don’t fear or hate the IRS. But now I can understand a little better why many people do fear and hate it.

In the last few months I had another frustrating experience with a different federal agency through my job.

In February, I contacted the agency to straighten out a few problems regarding our purchase account.

I called, talked to people, left messages and e-mailed. But so far, after six months of dealing with three different individuals, I still haven’t got satisfied answers to the few questions and problems I have.

For me, they are very straightforward and easy-to-answer questions. They don’t require much brain work. It just doesn’t make sense to me why that is so difficult for them to do.

I can not believe how unresponsive and inefficient these people are.

I know I shouldn’t generalize everything. There are always good and bad employees every where, just like my IRS experience showed. I believe the majority of the fed employees are good. But still, a couple of bad apples can spoil the whole bunch, or leave a bad taste.

I think it’s fair to say that the feds need more accountability check to improve their services and increase their efficiency. They are here to help and serve the citizens. They should do a better job.

For now, I am just relieved that we don’t own the IRS any more taxes and we can receive the majority of our economic stimulus payment soon.

As for my son, he will have to wait for the next tax return to get his share of the rebate, because the amount of economic stimulus payments is based on the 2007 return. Adjustments can only be made next year.

I wish I had not made this one small mistake. Now that I have learned my lesson, I am sure it will not happen again.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Getting back to nature

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/16/2008

I grew up in a city in China with lots of people. As a child, I was never exposed to nature, like oceans with endless beaches, mountains too tall to climb for an average person, forests with wild animals.

All my life, I’ve pretty much been an indoor person.

I have never done camping or hiking. I have not done much in the way of sports. I learned to bike in my teens and I learned to swim in my twenties. I hardly do any outdoor activities.

Americans love to label and categorize people or problems. For example, there are many specific terms with the word disorder in them that label various behavioral problems.

I don’t know how many behavioral disorders there are. But surely there are a lot.

Here are just a few that come to my mind: attention deficit disorder, discipline deficit disorder, empathy deficit disorder, imagination deficit disorder, seasonal affective disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, conduct disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, acute stress disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, etc.

I have always felt very lucky that I am pretty “normal” and don’t have any disorders, until I came across the term “nature deficit disorder.” It made me think about myself and my lack of exposure and connection to nature.

Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” coined the term "nature-deficit disorder" in his 2005 book.

Nature deficit disorder refers to this trend that children are spending less time outdoors in nature which results in a wide range of problems, not only for their physical fitness, but also for their long-term mental and spiritual well-being.

Research has showed that kids today suffer health and psychological problems, including obesity, loneliness and depression from too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers, and too little time outdoors with nature.

Children growing up in the digital age are becoming increasingly alienated from the natural world. They detach from the natural world as they spend more time exploring the virtual world.

Their relationship with nature becomes more intellectual than personal. They know about nature, but they experience less nature.

Nowadays, kids are overscheduled with organized sports and other activities. They have less or no time for unstructured outdoor play or imaginative play.

In addition, parental fears and increased consumption of electronic media are also causes for this nature deficit phenomenon.

Nationwide, a back-to-nature movement to reconnect children with the outdoors is gaining ground.

In 2006, the No Child Left Inside Coalition (www.nclicoalition.org) was created to find new ways to encourage kids to experience nature and learn about the environment. It is composed of environmental, educational, and public health organizations dedicated to insuring a comprehensive education for all.

In 2007 legislation was introduced to strengthen and expand environmental education for America's children and to reconnect them with nature.

Congress is reauthorizing the No Child Left Behind law. The No Child Left Inside Act of 2007 (HR 3036 and S.1981) supports the inclusion of environmental education in the No Child Left Behind reauthorization bill.

The No Child Left Inside Act seeks to increase funding for environmental education, to provide new resources and incentives to states to enhance environmental education, to integrate environmental education across core subject areas including science or social studies classes, and to educate young people about the environment.

I like plants and gardening, and I like to walk around the lakes. That’s about all the nature I experience.

Though my knowledge about and connection with nature is very limited, I don’t have any behavioral problems the term “nature deficit disorder” refers to.

That’s why I don’t take the label seriously for myself. However, it did make me realize that something is missing in my life.

It is the outdoor life, the deep love and connection with the wondrous nature, as desired and experienced by so many people in this country and around the world.

I don’t want my kids to have nature deficit disorder due to too much sedentary time indoors with TV and computers. I became conscious to do something to get them outside, and to limit their screen time.

When I saw that our school district was going to offer the Community Connections Summer Nature Day Camp, I thought that would be a great opportunity to get my kids outside and spend a week outdoor to learn about and enjoy nature.

The week-long nature day camp was too good to pass. It was not only educational; it was also free, with transportation and simple lunch included.

So during the week of July 7 to 11, my kids and some friends spent each day exploring the great outdoors at Valley Branch Environmental Learning Center (http://valleybranch.spps.org) in Afton. They learned about plants, wildlife, and the Native American culture. The camp provides learning beyond the classroom.

It is the mission of Valley Branch ELC to provide a meaningful outdoor learning experience which promotes life-long awareness toward the care and respect of our world.

I am thankful that my kids can have this wonderful experience provided by District 833 through the partnership with St. Paul Public Schools.

After the second day of the camp, my kids asked me, “Mom, can we go to the nature camp again next year?”

Unable to predict the future, I said, “Hopefully.”

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Save by using your library

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/09/2008

It is a fact that the U.S. economy is in a downturn or a recession. People are worried about sky-rocketing gas prices and the cost of living, about losing jobs and finding jobs.

In today's economy, saving money becomes more important or necessary for many families.

One way to save money that many people might not think about is through use of the local library.

To loan, not to buy

If you like to read books or magazines, checking them out from the library instead of buying can save you some money.

Most of the books we read are only read once. It makes more sense for me to loan them than to buy them. We normally don’t buy something for only one time use and then let it collect dust.

I have not purchased any new books for myself for more than 10 years. The last time I had to buy a new book was when I was in graduate school. I couldn’t get the textbook any other way.

The more I use libraries, the less need I have to purchase my own books.

Three years ago I went back to China for a visit. I visited an uncle in Beijing. He is a bookworm and loves books more than anything. So he spends most of his money on books.

His multiple homes are filled with bookshelves full of books and CDs. His private collection might be big enough to fill a small library.

While I envy him for owning thousands of books, I am glad that I don't have to own any books myself to enjoy the benefits of reading.

It doesn't matter whether I am rich or poor, whether I can afford it or not, I can use libraries and have access to most books I want to read.

Even if my local library doesn't have what I want in its own collection, I can usually still get it through the interlibrary loan.

That is the beauty of libraries in the U.S.

I don't really care about owning thousands of books. What if I have to move again? That would be a nightmare.

Buy used

If you really like to own your books, you can buy used ones at libraries. You can often find nearly new books for $1 or less.

The Washington County Library has ongoing book sales in most branches. There is also a big book sale at several branches once a year.

Recreation and entertainment

We don’t usually think of library as a place for recreation and entertainment. But libraries offer plenty of services that serve such purposes.

If you want to watch movies, you don’t have to go to movie theaters or rent DVDs from stores. You can get them for free from the library.

Yes, you do have to wait for their release to get them, and you can not get the instant gratification of watching the latest movie, but this is a small price you have to pay.

Libraries have books, videos and DVDs that offer instructional and do-it-yourself lessons.

If you want to use an exercise video for your home exercise, or learn to practice yoga or how to dance, learn a foreign language, check out the resources from the library.

If you don’t have time to read, you can listen to books on tapes while driving or running or walking.

In addition to videos and DVDs, there are story hours all year around for children, and book clubs, meet-the-author or other special events for adults.

In summer, our library offers summer reading programs for kids, teens and adults.

Internet access and computer usage

If you don’t have a computer and Internet connection at home, you can go to any public library to use the public workstations there.

Computer usage is free but it’s usually limited to one hour per day tracked by your library card number.

Remote access

You don’t have to physically go to the library to take advantage of some of its resources.

You can save the time of driving and the cost of gas if you just want to access its catalog and electronic databases, renew materials or ask a reference question. You can do all these online, from your home.

Pass to museums

If you haven’t heard about and taken advantage of “The Museum Adventure Pass,” you should check it out at the library. You can use your library card to receive a Museum Adventure Pass.

Each pass is for two or four free admissions, depending on location, to one of the cultural destinations in Twin Cities, including Minnesota Zoo, Minneapolis Institute of Arts, Minnesota History Center, Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, etc.

If you add up the cost of buying new books, DVDs, CDs, subscribing to magazines, going to movies and museums, you will realize how much you can save by using your local library.

Library services and resources are free to use. They are paid for by people living in the community through taxes. We all pay our share for the library services, why not take advantage of them and use them for our benefits, and save money?

Library use should really be a part of our resourceful living strategy.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What’s right in our society?

Woodbury Bulletin - 07/02/2008

In “Dear Abby’s” Oct. 27, 2007 column, a reader asked her what she thinks is the main problem in society today.

In turn, Abby asked her readers to respond and share what they think is society's greatest problem today.

The readers’ response was enormous. Dear Abby shared some of them in her Feb. 5 and 6 columns.

We are certainly not short of problems. The list of problems identified by readers is long:

Lack of personal responsibility and discipline; lack of respect, courtesy and consideration for others; lack of good parenting; lack of communication; lack of forgiveness; breakdown of the nuclear family; greed; “me first" mind-set; intolerance; ignorance; apathy; and isolation.

Then prompted by a reader’s opposing point of view that “it's time to talk about what is right in our society,” Dear Abby posed this question, “What is right in our society?” in her April 11, 2008 column.

So far I have not seen any follow-up columns on this topic. But I would like to share a few thoughts of what I think is right with American society.

First of all, I agree that many social and economic problems exist in our society as other readers have pointed out.

But I also think it's good for us to remind ourselves and others about the positives that exist in our society.

Since I grew up in China and have lived five years in Germany and now 17 years in the U.S., I often see things from different perspectives.

From my own perspective, here are some of the things that I like about America and therefore are my reasons for what’s right in our society.

Love and compassion

Americans show love and compassion to the world through adopting orphaned and special needs children in Asian, South America and East Europe.

One of the two articles I wrote for Woodbury Bulletin before starting this personal column was about a couple who adopted a special needs girl from China, even though they already have three healthy kids of their own.

I am always very touched by people who adopt children in need. Because of my Chinese background, I am especially grateful for people who adopt children from China. These children can live a better life in America because of the love and compassion some have in this society.

Americans show love and compassion whenever disasters happen around the world by reaching out and helping the victims.

Some Americans demonstrate they care through mission work done in remote areas around the world.

Kindness

Acts of kindness are performed every day around us.

A few months ago, I started paying attention to and reading the “Sainted & Tainted” section in a local paper. I enjoy reading about people doing acts of kindness.

Personally, I experienced such an act of kindness during a recent trip to Seattle, Wash.

On my flight, I sat next to a woman from Indianapolis. She was going to meet her husband who was on a business trip in Seattle. She opened her heart to me and we shared a wonderful conversation. This kind of openness and heart-to-heart talk rarely happen now between strangers.

Most people on the plane don’t talk at all.

When the plane landed, she told me that she would ask her husband to give me a ride to my hotel in downtown Seattle.

While I was waiting with her for her check-in luggage to arrive, I met a couple of acquaintances who came to Seattle for the same conference as I and were going to a downtown hotel as well.

I thought it would be less trouble for the woman and her husband if I just shared a taxi with my acquaintances instead of letting them give me a ride. That’s what I did.

Even though I didn’t take the free ride with them, I still felt very thankful for her offer and kindness. I only met her on the plane and we would never see each other again. But her kindness will be remembered forever.

Volunteerism

Americans are the greatest volunteers in the world.

They volunteer in schools, in churches, and in all kinds of non-profit organizations, for the young and the old, for the poor and the under-privileged.

They volunteer in other countries, to teach, to serve and to do mission work.

All the volunteers have made, are making and will make our society better.

Philanthropy

Americans are the greatest philanthropists and givers in the world.

From Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, two of the wealthiest people in the world, to the average Joe, Americans have this unmatched philanthropic spirit. Without this philanthropic spirit and generous giving, America would not be as it is today.

I think about people like Scottish-American businessman and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie. Without him, we might not have so many public libraries in this country.

Between 1883 and 1929, Andrew Carnegie donated money to build 2,509 libraries. Among them, 1,689 were built in the United States, the rest in other parts of the world, including Britain, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, etc.

All these people, named or unnamed, are my heroes in this society.

I think as long as our society still holds on to the Christian roots, many things will go right. Otherwise we can expect more problems to come.